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The way you see it with your green glasses is that the guy is right in doing so as he shouldn’t settle for something that doesn’t work for him. You give him points for honesty and going even farther, you assume on your own that you’re the one he’s looking for. You two engage in a relationship and you even start making plans for future. However, a time comes when you find him arguing more and more with you and you start feeling like he’s trying to run away from this relationship.

You do your best to save it but it comes to an end; and the only one to blame is this guy as you remained the same throughout this relationship and it is he alone, who changed in a negative way. You may even ask some people as to what is your fault because you only played fair and you’ve been cheated in return. Well, if you’re really interested to know what your fault is, let me help you out here.

When this guy tells you that he’s walked out of ten relationships in eight years, doesn’t that ring a warning bell to you? Let’s remove those green glasses and let’s try to see things as they are. This guy may not be a bad guy but one thing is sure; he doesn’t like long term commitments and he tends to walk out of relationships after some time, though even he may not know it consciously and it may all happen subconsciously. It means it is his nature; hence he may not intentionally try to walk out of relationships and such things may happen on the basis of circumstances, even according to him.

Some of you may think what if this guy is actually a genuine guy and he was never responsible for any of those breakups? I won’t say it can’t happen but the chances of that happening are one in hundred; and only a person with green glasses will opt to try his luck in favor of one against ninety nine; and then be sure that his one chance will certainly win every time. Coming to this guy, he has faced ten broken love relationships with the average life of a relationship being less than one year. If he did his job fairly in all those cases; it only means one thing which is the fact that all ten of those girls were bad ones or let’s say, not so good ones.

Do you really think if you meet ten different people at different stages as well as in different situations, all ten of them may turn out bad? Has the world become so bad that there’s not even one person in every ten persons, who’s good? Before making any judgments, kindly pay attention to the fact that you checked certain basic things about these ten people before engaging in relationships and you only engaged in relationships when most of those things worked in your favor. It means they passed the basic tests of being good people and only after that, you decided to engage in relationships with them. Hence you took due time to assess them according to your level of wisdom and these people were not randomly forced on you.

When you look at it like this, the equation changes. In fact, the equation always remains unchanged and only your viewpoint changes. These facts indicate that if a person spends time and effort in assessing ten different people so that he may have relationships with them, the assessment is positive in all the cases, it remains positive for some months and then it suddenly starts turning negative in all these cases, the chances are high that these people have not changed and the way you assess them has changed.

Let me mention this fact that this guy may not be a bad guy, but he may have this habit of walking out of relationships, though even he may not be consciously aware of it that he’s afraid of long term commitments. Accordingly, he assessed these ten women differently at different stages during these relationships and this is what changed everything. Taking one such case, at the beginning of a particular relationship, he was interested in a having a relationship as this is why he was looking for someone, to start with.

As he’s interested in a relationship at this time or say he’s even eager to have a partner, his subconscious mind may operate in a way that he may primarily be able to focus on the good habits of the women he meets or dates. This happens because he keeps wishing for a partner again and again; and this wish sends a request to his subconscious mind again and again, which says a partner is needed at the earliest. The way his subconscious mind understands it or even the way this request has been given by his conscious mind at this time is that a partner is needed; and there are no specific and important tags attached to this wish.

This means his primary wish is to have a partner at the earliest and it is not that he either needs a very good partner or he doesn’t need a partner at all. Kindly understand that there’s a big difference between these two wishes and the subconscious mind is smart enough to spot this difference at the earliest. Through the first wish, he’s primarily asking for a partner at the earliest and the type of partner becomes secondary. However through the second wish, he’s primarily asking for a good partner and the time taken to do this job is secondary.

Accordingly, his subconscious mind gives priority to the time factor in case of the first wish whereas it gives priority to the exact personality of the partner in the second case. Whatever may your wish be, your subconscious mind may make you behave in a way that such wish may be completed; and you may not be aware of this entire process, even in the least. Since his wish is the first one, which means he wants to have a partner at the earliest, his subconscious mind assigns more importance to the time factor and less importance to the exact personality of the partner.

As a result, it makes some changes to his behavior pattern or so to say, it puts a specific type of glasses on his eyes, the glasses which can help him fulfill his wish. As he starts meeting girls, he tends to spot the good things they have at the earliest whereas he tends to ignore the negative things in them or so to say, he may not even spot many of them at this stage. This is happening because if he pays equal amount of attention to the negative habits also; more and more girls may be rejected on the basis of different negative habits that he may not like; and the process of having a partner may be delayed. Since time is the primary factor for this wish, his subconscious mind distracts him when it comes to spot their negative habits and it fixes his focus more on their good habits.

As you can understand, it is the shortest possible way to get a partner because he’s only looking at the good habits they have and almost everyone has good habits in them, though everyone may have negative habits also. This is not all and there’s more. In order to make sure that the girl he likes also likes him so that the result may be achieved at the earliest, his subconscious mind may make changes to his behavior, once again without his conscious knowledge.

As a result, he starts liking what this girls likes and he starts enjoying what she enjoys so that both of them have things in common, which help building a relationship at the earliest. It should be noted that in general, he may not like doing some of these things a lot and this is a temporary adjustment made by his subconscious mind in order to fulfill his wish at the earliest. Since this is happening without his conscious knowledge, even he may not know why he is liking or engaging in things which he generally doesn’t like or engage in.

For instance, he may not have much liking for dancing in general. However, when this girl asks him for a dance, he may gladly do so and he may not even notice this change in his behavior as this action has been carried out by his subconscious mind. The entire focus of his subconscious mind at this stage is to get him a girlfriend at the earliest and it may do anything in its power to achieve this objective. Since the subconscious mind is very powerful, it may succeed in getting him a girlfriend at the earliest, by hook or by crook. As soon as this happens, his wish is fulfilled and things start getting back to normal or natural.

Over a period of time, he may develop a new wish which is to maintain this relationship and this wish is forwarded to the subconscious mind. As a result, some adjustments are once again made to his behavior patterns on temporary basis, and these adjustments make sure that he keeps doing things which are required to maintain a healthy relationship with this girl. This is what he wished for and this is what his subconscious mind is blessing him with. Hence his focus may still be fixed on her positive habits and he may also try to keep his negative habits under check; though he may do so subconsciously.

In the next stage, the girl may start getting too close to him and she may even start giving hints about the future plans which include concepts like having a family together. As he doesn’t want this at all deep down, there are only two options left for him at this point. The first option is that he should tell this girl straight away that he doesn’t want to plan for future at this time and he can’t even say when he may be ready for such planning. Suppose he chooses this option, the girl doesn’t like it as this is in opposition to what she wants; and the relationship ends.

The second option is that according to his basic nature, he may not feel comfortable facing this situation in a direct way as it may bring him the type of blames he may not like. For instance, if he says it straight away, the girl may blame him for using her and she may be the one who may walkout after cursing him. If this is what he’s not comfortable with, he may want another way. Hence a new wish is created and forwarded to his subconscious mind. This wish says he wants to get out of this relationship but he doesn’t want to be the one who bears all the blame for this breakup.

As this wish is registered, his subconscious mind starts working on it and once again, certain specific behavior changes are made to his basic nature. This is the time when his subconscious mind gives him a different pair of glasses which enables him to spot the negative habits of this girl at the earliest and these glasses don’t focus much on the good habits. When that happens, he may suddenly start discovering so many negative habits of this girl, which he was so far unaware of. As that happens, he starts liking this girl less and less, and this is where this relationship enters its final phase.

It should be noted that this guy may not pretend to have discovered all those negative things about this girl only at this stage; and he may be right in saying so; at least consciously. In order to fulfill his previous wishes related to this girl, his subconscious mind made him oblivious to the negative habits of this girl. Hence he may not have much awareness about many of her negative habits so far. As his wish has changed now and the new wish needs him to find more and more negative habits of this girl, in order for this wish to be fulfilled; things change.

His subconscious mind starts making him aware of all those negative habits of this girl, which were there right from the beginning but he was never able to see them as his vision was blocked by his subconscious mind, in order to fulfill his wishes during those times. As he finds out more and more negative habits of this girl and as he starts complaining about them, tension starts building. The arguments become intense with each passing day and a day comes when they decide to breakup. His wish is once again fulfilled and he’s not the only one to be blamed for this relationship as the girl also has her contribution through her negative habits.

This is how you can have different points of view about the same person or thing at different times, based on what type of glasses you are wearing, which means how you want to see them at those times, deep down. The girl may be shocked at his changed behavior because she had all those negative habits from the beginning and she may not even have tried to hide them. What she may not understand is that why is this guy mentioning all those negative habits at this stage and why was he fine with them so far? She may feel like this guy has intentionally used her though he may have used her; unintentionally or subconsciously at the most.

As this guy walks out of this relationship, he may think that this girl was not the right kind of girl for him and the relationship has broken, primarily due to her negative habits and not because of him. This assurance makes him worthy of falling in love again or so to say, worthy of having a relationship once again. Boosted by this assurance, he may soon start wishing for one more relationship and the process may start once again. This keeps happening and this way, he may have walked out of ten relationships in eight years; and it was never his fault according to his conscious mind.

It should be noted that if this guy chooses to go with the first option which is to tell his girlfriends straight away after eight to ten months that he doesn’t want a long term relationship and hence they should split; he may not be able to have ten or even five relationships. If he tells his first girlfriend that there’s nothing wrong with her but he still wants to walk out of the relationship as this is how he is; the girl may accuse him of using her and she may say a number of bad things before the breakup. She may also add this specific clause that if he doesn’t like long term relationships, he should have made it clear before getting into this relationship. She may add that by hiding this fact, he has cheated her and she may also spread bad words about him, which he duly deserves.

Hence he may face a lot of negative energy which he duly deserves and this negative energy may give birth to a conscious type of guilt. It should be noted that conscious guilt is the one which rises from a negative act which you do consciously and you regret it later on. On the other hand, subconscious guilt is the one which rises from a negative act which you do subconsciously or indirectly and you may not have any conscious regret for such act. Another fact to be understood is that whenever there’s a guilt of any type; it has to be balanced out in some way through an action of the opposite type; sooner or later.

Conscious guilt needs conscious action to balance out and subconscious guilt needs subconscious action to balance out. Since conscious guilt is completely in your knowledge right from the moment the act which caused it was done; it becomes very difficult to live with conscious guilt. Hence you may feel consciously pressurized to do something in order to balance it out and at the same time; you may find it difficult to repeat the same type of act in future; at least consciously.

When it comes to subconscious guilt, it is caused due to acts which contain negativity in a hidden way and hence you don’t become consciously aware of such negativity. It means you’re consciously not bothered about such acts. Hence you can afford to take much more time to balance them out and at the same time; it may also be possible to repeat the acts which caused such guilt. This is why most people choose to engage in subconscious acts of negativity as conscious acts of negativity can make it difficult for them to live happily or even difficult to live at times. Let’s try to understand this concept with the help of a real life situation.

Suppose you borrow an amount of money from a friend and you promise to return it at the earliest. Suppose you have a personality type which features a negative habit that encourages you not to return money to anyone; whenever you borrow it. This means you may borrow money; you may make promise to return it but you may never return it; thereby breaking your promise. This act of not returning the money or breaking your promise can be done in two ways; the conscious way as well as the subconscious way. Let’s now look at both these ways.

If you choose to go through the conscious way; you borrow money from your friend and as soon as he asks for it for the very first time; you tell him straight away that you’re not going to return it ever as this is what you feel like doing. Since you’re engaging in it in a conscious way; everything has to come out loud and clear. As that happens, your friend may tell you a number of negative things as he feels like being cheated or betrayed. This may not stop here and he may start telling all the common friends that you borrowed money and then you straight away refused to return it.

As a result, a number of other friends may start convincing or pressurizing you to return his money. When that happens, you’re left with two choices only; the first one is to return his money as you may find it difficult to handle the pressure created by your friends. All this is happening consciously and hence you’re aware that if you choose to tell all these friends that you’re not going to return money no matter what comes; you may end up losing all your friends. Hence it is a conscious negative act and you’re facing a conscious punishment if you don’t balance it out at the earliest. So the first option is to balance it out through an act of repayment and when that happens, things may get back to normal though it may take some time.

It means you may return this money, you may apologize and you may promise not to do so again. Even if you don’t make one such promise, you may simply not be able to do it again; even if you want to. This is because through this act; you’ve faced a lot of negative energy in the form of insult as well as social disgrace and in addition to that, you have had to return the money also. Hence this situation results in all around losses where you don’t gain anything and you lose what you already have. It means you don’t get to keep the money and you face so much trouble at the same time. Your intellect as well as your ego may find it very easy to convince you that such acts should not be repeated in future as they may bring losses only. Hence you may stop engaging in such acts.

Another option that you may choose in the same case is not to return this money; no matter what. If you do that, you may end up losing most of your friends and well wishers though you may still keep the money. Even in this case, you may find it very difficult to repeat this act because you’ve understood well through the first act of the same type; that the losses brought by this act are much bigger than the profits. Hence you may choose not to engage in such type of acts in future. You see, how your conscious guilt can help you stay away from negative habits : )

Let’s now look at the same act when negativity is created through the subconscious mind. In this case, you may borrow money from your friend, you may promise to return it at the earliest but you may almost never return it. When your friend asks you to return this money; you may come up with an excuse that you’re financially very tight at this time and you need more time to arrange this money.

It should be noted that your intention is the same in this case also; which means you don’t want to return this money; but the operation is being carried out by your subconscious mind; and that changes everything. Your subconscious mind is smart enough to know that if you refuse to return this money straight away, the consequences may be very bad. The reason your subconscious mind may know this fact is that you may have consciously engaged in one such act in this life or in one of your recent past lives. When you did so, you may have faced one of the two consequences already mentioned by me.

Since you ended up suffering a lot; no matter which one of those options you chose; it created an important memory on your subconscious mind. Based on your personality type; this memory or knowledge helps you do one of the two things. If you’re an overall positive person at this time; this awareness encourages you to stay away from such negative acts as you may have to face problems later on. All this is happening on the level of your subconscious mind and hence you may have no conscious knowledge about the reasons due to which your subconscious mind is telling you to stay away from this act.

This means you may have consciously committed one such act in your recent past life and you may have faced problems after that. These problems may have marked an important Samskara on your subconscious mind that this type of act brings difficult to handle problems. You may not have conscious knowledge of this Samskara in this life as your conscious mind keeps changing in each life; but you do have subconscious knowledge of this fact.

This is due to the reason that your subconscious mind remains the same throughout the journey of your soul and hence everything stored on it remains intact. Since you have no conscious knowledge of the kind of problems this act may bring; you may hear an inner voice which says that doing so is bad and hence it should be avoided. Your subconscious mind may also send some possible problems which may happen in case you do so; to your conscious mind. Listening to this voice, you may choose to stay away from this type of acts if you’re a positive person.

On the other hand, if you’re an overall negative person at this time, you may still want to engage in this negative act despite the warnings issued by your subconscious mind. However at the same time, you may also want to avoid the problems which may be caused by this act. Hence you forward a specific request to your subconscious mind in this case; that you wish to engage in this act but you don’t wish to face problems later on; or such problems should be the minimum in quantum. When that happens, your subconscious mind starts acting on this request and it takes control of the entire operation.

This is what is happening in the second case of subconscious fraud, being discussed. It means you’ve already faced problems through one such act; you don’t want to face those problems again and at the same time; you do wish to engage in such acts again and again. Hence when your friend asks for his money; you may present an excuse and you may ask for more time.

It is interesting to note that since the operation has been taken over by your subconscious mind; even you may not be consciously aware at this stage that you don’t wish to return this money. You may instead feel that you’re willing to return his money but you don’t have it now. Hence you may find yourself genuinely short of money on conscious level and that may help you look genuine when making this excuse; but only on conscious level. It means in your conscious awareness, you may only be telling him the truth when you say you don’t have sufficient money at this time and hence he may buy your excuse.

However deep down, your subconscious mind is working on this job and it may not let you have sufficient money at any point in time. This doesn’t mean you may not have this amount of money at all; it only means your subconscious mind may keep introducing such distractions from time to time; that you may consciously feel like not having sufficient money to spare. For instance, even though you may witness a raise in salary which may enable you to return the money in three to four installments; your subconscious mind may not let you do so by creating distractions and here is one of them.

As soon as your salary is raised; your wife may start demanding for a car for her as she may find it very difficult to manage her affairs without a car. She may give a number of fair reasons in support of her need for this car and hence you may conclude that her need is genuine and so it should be taken care of, at the earliest.  Accordingly, you may get a new car financed and the increment in salary may be consumed in monthly installment for this car. While doing all this; you may consciously find that you’re doing all the right things and you have no intentions of doing anything bad to your friend.

Your subconscious mind may tell your conscious mind that the need of your wife at this time is much bigger than the need of your friend at this time. The former may even supply you with the information that your friend already has so much money to spare with and hence he can afford to wait for some months whereas the problem that your wife is facing is critical and hence she may not be able to manage her affairs without a car. Everything is justified according to you and hence there is no conscious guilt of not returning your friend’s money even when you could have.

However, this is only the illusion created by your subconscious mind and you’re being fooled by it. In reality, your wife is facing the same problems for the last five years and she’s been able to manage everything; though with some difficulty. Hence the thought that she may not be able to manage without a car any longer; is your way of fooling yourself or so to say; it is the way through which your subconscious mind is assuring you that you’re not doing anything wrong by choosing not to return your friend’s money.

This is just one excuse and your subconscious mind may keep creating more and more excuses as and when they’re needed. As a result, you may neither return his money nor you may tell your friend straight away that you’re not going to return it at all. You keep presenting genuine looking excuses for delay as that helps you in many ways. Looking at one such benefit; your friend may understand with the passage of time that you don’t wish to return this money and based on his personality type; he may choose to react differently. We’ll discuss two options for the sake of this example.

If he’s an overall positive person; he may stop asking for this money as he may realize that even if he keeps asking you; it is not going to make any difference. Hence he may stop asking you about this money. If he chooses to do so; the pressure is lifted and you’re free from this burden on conscious level; though it may create guilt of high quantum on subconscious level. However, as this guilt is created on subconscious level; it can’t bother you directly or consciously; and it may only keep giving you a feeling of guilt every once in a while; especially when you meet this friend.

In order to avoid this feeling of guilt; you may subconsciously choose to move away from this friend so that you may not have to face him again and you may be saved from this guilt in future. Your subconscious mind may once again help you with this job and it may do so in many ways. For instance, you may start finding negative things about your friend in order to convince yourself that he’s not worthy of being your friend and hence you’re doing the right thing by choosing to move away from him.

All this is happening on subconscious level and hence you may feel it happening naturally. It means you may not think that you’re creating those negative habits or exaggerating them; you may instead think that you’ve discovered them recently. As you attach more and more negative attributes to your friend, your decision to move away is justified and at the same time; the guilt for not returning his money also reduces. This is because he is a bad person now and choosing to do something bad to a bad person is not that bad; according to you : )

The specific types of negative acts which may help you out are the ones where your friend engages in some type of financial disputes with other parities. For instance, it may come to your notice that a client of your friend has filed a complaint against him and this complaint says that he has delivered him goods which are less in value than he paid. It is interesting to note that even if this claim is absolutely false, you may certainly consider it as a true claim as doing so brings benefits to you. Now you have the reason to think that your friend cheats other people for money; hence he’s not a good person and you should move away from him.

You may also think that you should not return his money as by doing so; you may teach him a lesson as to how it feels when you cheat someone for money. It means you’re trying to deliver justice by cheating him for money in order to balance out his act of cheating someone else for money. As you do that; you keep money and at the same time; you’re free from any type of guilt also. You see, how your subconscious mind can turn everything to your advantage; though it only does so when you wish. It means your subconscious mind can help you achieve hell as well as heaven but it doesn’t make that choice. This choice or desire comes from your conscious mind and your subconscious mind only helps fulfill this desire, whatever it may be at any time.

Himanshu Shangari

 

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Imagine you have a valid legal complaint against someone and you want to send him legal summons through court. The court is convinced that your complaint is valid and hence the summons is issued. Now imagine you don’t have a valid legal complaint against someone but you still want to send him legal summons and you go the court for the same purpose. The court finds your complaint invalid and hence it dismisses your complaint, without issuing summons against this party. This is what may happen in case you try to send undue negative energy to someone.

Let’s go even further and suppose that you go to the same court again and again; you file the same invalid complaint each time and you make the same request each time. As this keeps happening, the court may issue you a warning not to waste its time and if it still keeps happening; the court may even impose a fine on you. Hence if you keep pressurizing any system to do something that you want but which is wrong according to the system, you may end up facing problems instead of getting what you want.

Coming back to the example, you may never be satisfied with the settlement though even you may think you are. It means even if your ego is satisfied by the way the other person has apologized or paid compensation; this satisfaction is temporary and the enmity for this person is permanent, though it is a subconscious type of enmity. If you want to know how to check whether this enmity still exists or not inside you, even when a couple of months have passed after this incident; here is how to do it.

Simply try to remember this incident and this is what you may observe. The details of this incident may be very clear in your mind and the part where you tried to dominate the other person and the part where the other person apologized may be the clearest ones. In fact, you may remember these parts like they just happened or even like they’re happening at this moment. This is a strong sign that you’ve still not forgotten this incident; and the war between you and that person, the war which you finally win is still going on inside you.

Another thing is that whenever this person comes to the scene, you may be able to observe negativity for him and the quantum of this negativity depends on the quantum of your ego. Isn’t it strange that though the other person has apologized, he’s paid compensation and you’ve even won the war against him; you still fill with negativity when you think about him? This is the strongest evidence that this person is still your enemy and this is why you may not get rid of him, almost throughout your life. Though you may seem to forget him after some years, this forgetfulness may be happening only on the level of conscious mind and your subconscious mind has a perfect record of this incident, till the time of your death or even beyond that.

You see how much trouble can your ego cause for you as it can carry negativity from an average type of event; to the end of your life and even to your next life? This is why the first thing you need to do is to get rid of ego or reduce it as much as possible. In deepest sense; the phrase ‘hell within’ used in the title of this book means ‘ego within’; whereas the phrase ‘heaven within’ used in the same title means ‘conscience within’. Hence your conscience creates heaven all around you whereas your ego creates hell all around you. It should be noted that only you create such heaven or hell and no one else is doing so, as both these entities are inside you and not outside.

Coming to the last case, suppose you’re a conscience driven person and you face the same situation. You may park your car on the roadside, you may ask the other person to do the same and you may then try to handle this situation. It should be noted that your approach in this case is to settle this matter in a friendly way as well as at earliest, and you have no intentions of complicating this matter.

As the other person says sorry and he offers compensation, you may accept them gladly and you may settle this matter in a friendly way. The difference between an emotion driven person and a conscience driven person is that the former puts great value to a heartfelt apology whereas the latter doesn’t care for it at all. It means even if you feel that the word sorry said by him doesn’t carry much feeling and it is shallow, it doesn’t matter to you and you may accept it as a heartfelt sorry.

The difference between an intellect driven person and a conscience driven person is that the former is focused on damages and the compensation for those damages whereas the latter is focused on solving this matter in a friendly way. Hence even if he’s offered a compensation which is somewhat less than the damages, according to him; he may accept it without any arguments. The intellectual person on the other hand may not accept it and he may insist that the damage is more than the compensation. He may not want the compensation to be more than the damages but he may also not be willing to settle for less, even if it is 10% less according to him.

However, in case of a person driven by conscience, he may not care much about small details related to intellect, like the amount of compensation seems 90% of the estimated damages; and he may gladly accept it. He may also not care much about details related to heart, like the word sorry should be heartfelt; and he may easily settle for a shallow apology.

Some people may find this behavior partly strange, but this is the best type of behavior and it may bring the best type of results in the long run. The way you look at this entire incident in this case is that a problem has occurred, the solution is being offered and that’s all. For a person driven by conscience, the maximum he may ask for is the solution to his problem and if he receives it even without asking for it like in this case, this is more than what he may wish for.

Your signature move in this case is that the use of personal pronouns will be the minimum, compared to all three cases. An intellectual as well as an emotional person may use these words around average whereas an egoistic person may use such pronouns more than average and that too with emphasis on them. However, a conscience driven person avoids using personal pronouns as much as he can as these pronouns create boundaries between people. A person with high conscience doesn’t create boundaries and hence he may not use these words.

Hence you may use sentences like, ‘your car has hit my car’ which means that the collision between the two cars doesn’t mean the collision between two people. Just because his car has hit your car doesn’t mean he’s your enemy and it is purely accidental. A big difference between a person driven by ego and a person drive by conscience is that the former considers everyone his enemy until proved otherwise whereas the latter considers everyone his friend, until proved otherwise.

Accordingly, it is very difficult for you to consider this person your enemy and you may even have friendly vibes for him. This is why the use of personal pronouns is limited and implemented in a way that they don’t convey the message of enmity and they instead convey the message of friendship. As the conscience grows more, the sentence may subconsciously change to, ‘my car has been hit’. At this stage, the cause as well as the medium has been eliminated altogether, and you’re only talking about the effect. It means you don’t bother about who hit your car and you only see that your car has been hit.

The first sentence has the word ‘your car’ which conveys that the other person should not feel much guilt as his car has hit your car and he has not hit you, which means he’s not done it on purpose or he’s not your enemy. Hence the other person may feel relaxed because he’s not been blamed and the blame has been shifted to his car, though deep down he knows that the car was being driven by him and hence the blame once again comes to him. However, this is a mild form of complaint and it may not hurt much.

In the second sentence, the cause as well as the medium of this problem has been eliminated altogether. This is because when you have high conscience, you believe that there is no point in discussing the cause or medium of what has already happened and you should focus on the effect, if you must. You understand that digging deep into the cause may not provide any benefits and on the contrary, it may cause problems or it may waste time. Hence you avoid mentioning the cause as well as the medium and you only focus on the effect. The other person may feel even more relaxed as you have not mentioned him in any way, though he knows it’s his mistake. The other person is the cause of problem in this case and his car is the medium.

This is what happens as your conscience grows; you don’t hold grudges against people for their actions. It means if a person makes a mistake, the mistake and the person are two different entities and they’re not one. Hence one mistake doesn’t mean someone’s entire personality and so the person should not be judged from one mistake. Just because something bad happened and you were the cause behind this bad, doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. In fact, a person with high conscience may not even consider you a cause and he may rather consider you a medium.

It means in this case, you may think that your car has been hit and the other person as well as his car is a medium and nothing else. We’ll discuss this topic in details, later on. To summarize, you may not hold this incident against this person and you may be friendly towards him, throughout this incident. It should be noted again that you may not try to do any of this and all of it may happen naturally; because these actions are being carried out by your subconscious mind, based on your exact personality type.

Let’s assume another situation in this case and let’s suppose someone has hit your car with his car and he has run away. Hence you’re left with your damaged car with no one to pay for compensation or even to apologize. Let’s see what you may do in this situation, if you’re controlled by these four entities, taking one at a time.

If you’re an intellectual type, the first thing you may do is to focus your attention on the plates of the car which is running away after hitting your car and you may note the number of this car. This is your natural reaction as you’re an intellectual type. You may then assess the damage. If the damage is not much and let’s say it is so, you may avoid calling the police as you understand that the time wasted in the entire follow up act may cost you more than the cost of repairs.

Hence you may choose to drive away from the situation instead of calling the police. On the way, you may keep thinking about the damage as well as how stupid that person may be, though your focus may be more on the quantum of financial loss as well as on the plan to get your car repaired.

If you’re an emotional type, you may not be able to pay attention to the plates of the running car as you’re an emotional type. It should be noted that the first response in a sudden situation may almost always be the response according to your personality type, which means the response according to your nature; and only the responses coming after that may be deliberate. Since noting the number of the running car is the natural act of an intellectual type, it may not come to you at once; and by the time it may come to you, there may be no car in your vision.

You may assess the damage and let’s suppose it is not much. You may not think of calling the cops as this is something you may not be comfortable with. It should be noted that the emotional type of people usually try to deal with matters on their own or with the help of their dear ones and they generally do not believe in complex and big systems for help, as these systems are created by the intellectual type. This doesn’t mean they may not approach such systems, it only means that they may avoid them as long as possible.

This is a major reason due to which women across the globe suffer so much in different ways, but they often choose not to go to the law. Most women are heart dominated and hence they like to settle their issue directly or let them remain unsettled. Intellectual people on the other hand, are the ones who make full use of these systems and they tend to use law and other such systems a lot. These people only believe in settling their accounts. Whether they do so on their own or a system does that; doesn’t matter to them. This is why they may use police and law to their advantage, much more than the emotional people.

Hence you may choose to drive home and this is what you may think on your way home. If you’re not much attached to this car, you may not think much about the damages or anything else for that matter. In this case, you may not even think about repairs, you may go home and you may not get your car repaired for a significant period of time. As you’re an emotional person, you’ll care for your car only if you’re attached to it and not otherwise. So whether it is repaired in a day or in a month may not matter much to you.

An intellectual type on the other hand may get his car repaired at the earliest as he may think that delaying the repair may increase the damage and hence the car should be repaired in time. You see, how every action or even every thought of yours is controlled by your personality type; and that too without your conscious knowledge in most cases : )

In case you’re attached to this car, you may feel sad while driving away from the scene and you may start thinking about the repairs. Unlike an intellectual person, you may not think about the money required for repairs and you may rather think whether or not your car will look the same again, after repairs. It means the focus of the intellectual person is on the amount spent for repairs whereas the focus of an emotional person is on the well being of his car.

You’re likely to get your car repaired at the earliest in this case as you’re attached to it and in fact, you may first go to a car repair shop before going home. Even when it comes to talk to the mechanic, the intellectual person may concentrate more on the cost and he may try to get a smart deal. On the other hand, the emotional person may not primarily focus on bargaining and he may rather seek an assurance from the mechanic that his car will look the same again.

Coming to the next possibility, if you’re an ego type, this is what you may do when someone runs away after hitting your car. It should be noted that ego uses heart or intellect in order to get things done and it doesn’t operate on its own. Hence there are two possibilities in this case; you may be an intellectual ego type or you may be an emotional ego type. It means your basic type may be one of intellectual or emotional type, with added corruption from your ego.

If you’re an intellectual ego type, you may certainly note the number of the running car and whether the damage is big or small, a police complaint is very likely to follow. This is because in your opinion, someone has attacked you and he’s run away without giving you a chance to reply. Once again, it’s not about the car and it’s about you verses him. Hence you have to show him what happens when someone chooses to mess up with you. You may spend as much time as needed to ensure that the culprit is brought before you, by the police.

Hence you may engage in effort and you may spend time, which may be much more in quantum, than the result you achieve, which means an apology and a small financial compensation in the end, as your car may have received minor damage. Being an intellectual ego type, you may find ways to claim more compensation than the quantum of loss and you may even succeed in doing so. You may remember this victory for long and you may tell this incident to other people from time to time, in order to feed your ego.

If you’re an emotional ego type, this is the most difficult type for this situation as well as for all other situations of this type. You may choose to chase this car and if you succeed in catching this car, a physical fight or a strong emotional drama is compulsory. Things may go to any extent in this case and this is why it is the most difficult type because putting your life or someone else’s life in danger for a small damage is not a worthy act for any human being. Majority of acts of impulsive violence which result in injuries or deaths over small issues are carried out by emotional ego type of people.

If you’re not able to catch this car despite your best effort but you’re able to note its number during the chase, a police complaint is what may come next. You may spend all the time and effort it takes to catch this guy and you may even offer money to policemen for this job, if the system of your country allows such things. You may even forge an injury in this case in order to make it an even bigger offence as personal injury can increase the quantum of this offence. As already mentioned, this is the most difficult type and you may do anything to settle your score with this guy. Remember the phrase, ‘hell has no fury like a woman scorned?’ It has been used for emotional ego type women as they can go to any extent in order to take revenge.

Coming back, you may finally succeed and the police may catch this guy. You may abuse him if you have that luxury, you may take out all your anger on him, you may refuse to accept the compensation and all you may be interested in is an apology, or to be precise; a written apology, if you find out that criminal case may not trouble this person much as the offence may not be high in quantum. If the offence is high or significant in quantum or you manipulate things to increase the quantum of this offence, the only thing you may be interested in is a police case so that this guy may be sent to prison.

However, if the matter is to be settled through apology, you may insist on written apology and you may even get it. In fact, you’ve done so much so far, only in order to obtain this document, though you may not know it consciously. It is not a simple document of apology for you, it is the proof of your victory as well as that of your enemy’s defeat in a battle which you fought sincerely and for a long period of time. As a result, this apology document is going to stay with you for many years of your life, or even till the end of your life; and you may show it to other people from time to time; like a champion shows his trophy : )

If you’re the conscience type, this is what you may do in this situation. You may assess the damage and you may drive away from the scene, with neither much anger for that person nor many worries about the damages. You’re the only type who is capable of smiling on his way home. This is because you may try to learn something from this incident also. For instance, you may reach the conclusion that anything may happen to you at any time in your life and hence there’s no point in feeling so proud or engaging in bad karmas to gain advantages.

You may think that this accident may even have caused you injuries and you may thank god for limiting this accident to a small quantum of damage to your car. You may also think about the person who hit your car and you may smile at the fact that he chose to run away for nothing. This means you know that even if he had stopped, you would have let him go without any trouble. The strange shades of human personality and the big claims made by people in many spheres can make you smile, as no one knows what may happen next moment but everyone still tries to control his entire life and some of them try to control other people’s lives too. It means a car or something else may come from anywhere as well as at any moment and it may kill you. So what is the point in thinking so big about you?

Coming back to the example where your conscience stops you from eating a lot of food, it may do so in a friendly manner and it may also ensure that your heart is also compensated in one way or the other, instead of ignoring it. This is another difference between what your ego and conscience may do in this situation. For instance, this matter is finished for your ego as soon as you choose not to eat more, though it may not be finished for your heart. It means your heart may keep crying for more of this food item but your ego may not care at all and it may remain unaffected.

On the contrary, your conscience will mark the request of your heart as important and it’ll ensure your heart that due attention will be paid to it, at a relevant time. At this time, it is only an assurance and nothing else, but your heart knows that your conscience never makes false promises and hence it’ll feel happy to have this assurance. Your ego on the other hand is very good at making promises to your body, heart or even to your intellect, in order to get done through them, what it wants, though it may almost never keep those promises. The ego is exceptionally good at creating illusions in order to get what it wants, as the ego itself is nothing but a big illusion.

In fact, the biggest illusion in this world is your ego and when it is said that the world is nothing but illusion, in the deepest sense it means that as long as you see it through your ego, it’s an illusion. In reality, there is no illusion in the world and the reason you find it illusionary is that the eyes you’re using to see this world are not the eyes of your conscience and they’re the eyes of your ego. The eyes of your heart and intellect can also cast illusions though they’re relatively smaller illusions. Imagine looking at a wall which has pure white color on it. Suppose you use four options to do so and you wear black glass, green glasses, red glasses and then no glasses.

Accordingly, you may see this wall in different colors, depending on the color of your glasses. Black glasses represent your ego and hence you’ll tend to add black to each and everything you see. It means you may find everything and everyone as your enemy and you’re only likely to find darkness in the end because your eyes are capable of seeing everything in black only. Though this wall is white, it may certainly look black or blackish to you, the opposite of what it is. This is why it is the worst type of illusion as you’re seeing something which is the opposite of reality.

The green glasses represent your heart as green is the color of life and your heart tries to find life in each and everything around it. Though this wall which means the world is white, you’ll see it as green. This may give you some advantage at the early stages because you may see things as beautiful as they are not in reality; which means you may assign much more value to people and things, than they actually deserve. As you can understand, it may cause problems later on when you find out that the actual value of these people and things is far less than what you assessed.

This is why emotional people may feel very happy at the beginning of each relationship or venture but they may end up suffering in the end, in many cases. Remember, the wall is white and the green color is being imposed by you only, which means the illusion is being created by you and not by the wall. Hence the world has no illusion and these illusions are created by you only. This is why the title of this book says, ‘Heaven and Hell Within’ as your heaven and hell depend only on the fact, which glasses you are using and not on the outside world, which is merely a vision and nothing else.

Red is the color of ambitions as well as that of aggression and this is why it perfectly suits your intellect. Your intellect is the one which wants to see material development and in order to do so, it keeps breaking things into smaller pieces. For example, it is the intellect which is responsible for reaching the atom and electrons, by breaking an element into smaller and smaller units. Since it wants to achieve more, it is ambitious and since it breaks things down in order to do so; it is aggressive because breaking anything is an act of aggression.

Your heart on the other hand believes in joining people or things instead of breaking them as it enjoys the concept of a number of people or things becoming one. This is why human relationships work better when handled by the heart compared to when handled by the intellect as the former strengthens them by uniting people whereas the latter spoils them as it tries to break them down into pieces. It means that instead of enjoying the company of people, it starts analyzing their personalities more and more so that it may be aware about each and every shade of their personalities.

This can make such people uncomfortable as no one wants other people to dig deep into him or her and this also keeps you away from enjoying these relationships because you’re busy investigating all the time. Hence you’re seeing this wall as red whereas it is white in reality and this is what creates illusion once again. The world in reality is not illusionary and you’re trying to impose your illusions on it, just like you’re imposing red color on this wall. In the end, this wall or so to say this world may refuse to be painted in your color as they want to have their own colors; and that is when you may call this world illusionary.

The moment your glasses come off, the scene changes and you call it illusion. This is because you’re accustomed to see this wall as red and it has suddenly turned white. Hence this wall becomes illusionary for you as it keeps changing its color though in reality; it was your decision to impose your red color on it and the wall was always white.

There are two ways you can call something illusionary. The first way is that you see something as it is and it then changes quickly as well as significantly, defying all the rules. Hence it becomes illusionary. In this case, this thing is to blame as it is casting this illusion and you’re doing nothing from your end to create this illusion. This is how you may think the world behaves as you don’t do anything to change it but it changes in ways which are not good for you.

The second way of something being illusionary is that the thing is behaving in the same manner from the start till the end, but you impose your expectations or wishes on it and hence you see it differently at different stages. Hence you call this thing illusionary as it keeps changing without obeying a fixed rule. For instance, if you look at this white wall through all these glasses one by one and then without any glasses in the end, you may find it defying the rules and hence you may call it illusionary. This is because it keeps changing colors on its own even when no one is putting these colors on it. Since a wall is not supposed to change its color on its own, it defies the rule and hence it becomes illusionary according to you.

However in reality, the wall has never changed its color and it is the same white wall from the beginning till the end. The only thing that is happening here is your ignorance to this fact or to this rule that in order to see the true color of this wall, you should not wear colored glasses as the color of those glasses will be temporarily imposed on the color of this wall. However, as soon as the glasses go off, the wall becomes white again, which means it becomes illusionary for you.

Coming to the conclusion, in the first case, things are not what they appear to you and they change on their own. Since there’s no effort from your side, these things are to blame. This is the first type of illusion where you’re innocent and the whole world is to blame. The second type of illusion is that things never change in reality and your perception of them or the way you look at them or assess them at different stages is the only thing that changes. The end result is once again the same as things keep looking different to you at different stages and hence it creates illusions.

However in this case, things are innocent and only you’re responsible for such illusions. Though most of us think that they are trapped in the first type of illusion; almost all of us are trapped in the second type of illusion in reality; the one created by us and us alone. Going even deeper, the first type of illusion is there only in order to draw a relative comparison and it doesn’t exist in reality, at all. Hence there are no chances that anyone of us may fall into this type of illusion. That leaves the second type of illusion only, and this is the type we all fall for. We’ll discuss this topic in details later on, but I’ll still mention an example related to this concept.

Suppose you’re an emotional type of female which means you’re wearing green glasses. You like a guy and you fall in love with him. The guy is great and everything looks perfect in the beginning. It all then starts changing and in a year or so, the guy becomes the opposite of what he was at the beginning. The relationship dissolves and you genuinely think that this guy is illusionary as he changed to the opposite type in a year or so. This may be true according to you; but in reality, this may only be your version of truth and nothing else.

While falling in love with this guy, you saw everything in green which means you only looked for the positive things and you never paid attention to the negative things which were always present from the beginning. Being an emotional person, you either chose to ignore them or you even painted those negative things in green, which means you considered them positive things. Considering one such thing, you’re having a conversation with this guy at an early stage of this relationship, say your first or second date; and during the course of conversation; he tells you that he’s had ten broken relationships in the last eight years. He may then tell you that he thinks none of those girls was the one he was looking for and hence he saw no future in those relationships.

Himanshu Shangari

 

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In fact, his negative feeling against you may even aggravate through your act of paying for damages as all he may want is for you to offer a heartfelt apology and he may not be interested in claiming the damages at all, to start with. When it comes to you, a heartfelt apology requires heart and as you’re dominated by your intellect, the chances are high that you may not do so. As a result, the situation becomes so that you’ve compensated for your wrong doing according to you or so to say according to your intellect; whereas according to him or his emotions; you have hurt him even more with the compensation than you did when you hit his car.

This is why a person dominated by heart can almost never go well with a person dominated by intellect because their basic rules are a lot different from each other. Hence this intellectual person may actually end up offending the other person more though he may pay for damages. It may also be the case that the other party may refuse to accept compensation and he may leave dissatisfied because the solution of compensation available according to law is not acceptable to him and you’re incapable of delivering what he wants, as you’re an intellectual person and accordingly, you stick to the law. Hence the equation is not settled and you gain negative energy through his negative feelings for you.

On the other hand, if you’re an emotional person and you don’t have high ego, this problem may be fixed in a couple of seconds. Soon after hitting his car, you may get out of your car, you may go to him and you may present an apology which is heartfelt and which may include feelings of regret and comfort; which are at least equal in quantum to the feeling of discomfort he may be having at this moment.

As the language of your heart is very well understood by his heart because it is the same language throughout the universe; this person may feel relaxed at once. This is because his heart duly receives the vibes of comfort and regret sent by your heart and the quantum of these vibes may be enough to balance out the feeling of discomfort he has. In this case, the matter is solved as soon as you offer such apology and if your apology contains feelings of regret and comfort, which are more in quantum than his feeling of discomfort, he may respond with something beautiful instead of being angry.

For instance, as you hit his car, you may at once go to him and you may say something like, ‘I’m really sorry for my mistake, brother. I guess my mind was occupied somewhere else and I couldn’t control my car in time. It’s all happened due to my mistake, I’m truly sorry and I’m willing to pay for the losses’. On the surface, these words may look similar to the words which an intellectual person may use to apologize and in fact, they may be exactly the same. However, your body language, your voice, the accentuations and other subconscious expressions change altogether and this is what does the trick.

In case you’re an intellectual person and you use the exact same words in this situation, this is what may happen. The emphasis may be less on the word sorry and it may be much more on the phrase ‘I’m willing to pay for the losses’. The tone of your voice may clearly convey that compensation and apology are the two solutions for this situation and you’re willing to go with compensation. Hence the word sorry mentioned by you may only reach his ears and it may never reach his heart because it doesn’t have sufficient energy to reach his heart as all your energy is focused on compensation.

Accordingly, the word compensation which means financial compensation; carries the maximum amount of energy, but there is a different type of problem with this word. The energy contained by this word is the one generated by your intellect and not the one generated by your heart because numbers are the domain of your intellect and not those of your heart. Therefore, the word compensation may contain maximum energy but even this word may fail to reach his heart as nothing rising from intellect can reach the heart. In fact, the energy carried by this word may complicate the situation.

This is because the other person may feel at once that you’re interested in financial compensation and you’re not concerned about his feelings at all, as the word sorry is shallow and the word compensation is full of energy. It means that the maximum amount of energy has come from your intellect whereas the minimum amount of energy has come from your heart. You see, how you may use the same words but you may convey different or even opposite meanings.

As a result, he may get offended at once because he may think you’re not a good person or you’re even a hypocrite. This is because being an emotional person, he has a strong sense of detecting the feelings hidden behind each and every word you use and he can clearly feel that the word sorry doesn’t carry the kind of energy which is required to make it look genuine. Hence your apology is fake according to him; and as you’re pretending to apologize instead of truly apologizing, this makes a you a hypocrite according to him. All this is happening on subconscious level and none of you two may be consciously aware of it.

The heart only says what it feels and the words coming from heart are rich in feelings. Accordingly, the words which have no feelings attached to them are fake according to the heart and the people using those words are hypocrites, especially when those words are meant to convey feelings. Since the word sorry should be used to convey feeling in this case, using it as a word without feeling is hypocrisy according to an emotional person. Hence he may get offended and the matter may get complicated.

On the other hand, if you’re an emotional person and you use the same words, the word sorry will carry significant amount of energy which comes from your heart and which carries feelings of regret on your part and comfort for him. The word compensation on the other hand may not carry much energy and it may be used by your intellect just in order to make one more option available, as you don’t know the personality type of this person at this time. It means if the other person is the intellectual type, the word compensation may serve the purpose. The fact that the word compensation doesn’t carry much energy or feelings doesn’t matter to him because his intellect doesn’t bother about feelings, to start with.

As far as your intellect is concerned, a logical or rational solution with feelings or without feeling is the same and there is no difference, as long as the solution is rational. Since the other person is emotional, the word sorry used by you, which carries heartfelt energy; may soothe him at once and the feeling of pain or loss may go away. He may at once realize that you’re truly sorry for your mistake and you understand his pain in the deepest sense. This is all he may need because there are two things the heart likes the most. The first thing is for the other person to understand what it wants and the second thing is for him to do that thing.

Since you understand his pain and you do your best to relieve it; he may get everything he wants and the settlement may now remain a formality. He may feel satisfied and he may even tell you that all is fine and he doesn’t care for compensation. He may not only say it, but he may also refuse to have it, even if you insist. This is because according to him, you’ve already paid for your mistake through your feelings and since he’s a heart dominated as well as a rich person, financial compensation may be the last thing he’s interested in. It should be noted that most of this is happening on the level of subconscious mind and hence none of you two may have conscious knowledge of your behaviors.

This reminds me of a beautiful incidence from real life. A few years back, I was going somewhere with a friend in his car and he was driving the car. Accidently, he hit someone’s car from behind though the damage was not much. He at once went to the owner of the other car and he presented a heartfelt apology by admitting that it was altogether his mistake and there is no excuse for it. He also offered to pay for the losses and he used the word sorry three to four times, and each time it carried heartfelt energy.

The other person not only refused to accept any compensation, he felt very happy, he forgot about his loss at once and he even starting asking about my friend. He asked about him and he then requested him to exchange contact information so that the two of them might get in touch with each other, later on. His view was that in this day and age, it was difficult to find people who can truly feel sorry, even if their mistakes were obvious to them also. Most people tried to purchase the pain of the suffering one by putting a price to it, in the name of compensation.

He said that contrary to that, my friend’s words clearly meant that he understood his pain. My friend exchanged contacts with that person and as I know, they are still in touch. It may look like a rare event to some people, but it does happen. Some people are very good at judging your entire character even through a couple of lines you say. Such people look for the honesty and dedication behind your words and through the intensity of these qualities; they can assess your overall character.

Hence your words or even your body language can tell a lot about you, before you start using any words at all. In order to make it clear, let’s consider this example from four angles where the person hitting the car has personality ruled by four different entities which are intellect, heart, ego and conscience. Let’s first assume that a person ruled by intellect hits someone’s car by mistake and see how he may react. Let’s suppose you’re this person, for the sake of better understanding.

You may get out of your car, you may reach closer to the area where the other person’s car has been hit and you may start assessing the damages minutely. By the time you’re done assessing the damages, if the other person has not approached you, you may go to him; you may say sorry and you may offer compensation. Though you may be a genuine person, but the accent may be more on compensation and less on sorry. This is because the word compensation deals with numbers which fall under the domain of intellect and so you’re duly able to put a lot of energy behind it.

On the other hand, the word sorry deals with a feeling and feelings are not controlled by the intellect. Accordingly, you may not be able to accentuate the word sorry in proper manner, even if you want as you don’t have much emotional strength and you’re an intellectual type. The reason you may spend significant amount of time closer to the damaged area is that as you’re an intellectual person, your definition of fair is to pay for the losses if you cause them. Since the quantum of losses can only be assessed at the point where the car has been hit, you may directly approach that area.

In the second case, suppose you’re a person ruled by heart and you hit someone’s car. You may get out of your car, you may take a brief look at the damaged area and very likely, you may approach the owner of this car before he approaches you. This is because, you’re an emotional person and the value of the owner is much more than the value of his car for you. Accordingly, you understand that if you go to him instead of him coming to you, he may feel better. Hence you may go to him.

You may feel sorry and this word may contain lots of heartfelt energy. You may also offer to pay compensation and the chances are fair that you may handle this matter far better than the intellectual type. As you tend to touch his heart again and again though you may do so subconsciously, which means it comes natural to you and you’re not making special efforts; he may feel happy and the matter may get sorted out easily.

In the third case, suppose you’re ruled by ego and you hit someone’s car. In this case, you may not even step out of your car and if you do, you may stand closer to area of impact and let the owner of the other car come to you, instead of approaching him. As the ego is high, sorry is the last word you may want to use and hence you may start finding reasons to put the blame on the other party. If you find any such reason like he applied breaks at once or anything like that; you may start arguing and you may neither offer apology nor compensation.

This is because whether you say sorry or you pay compensation; they both mean one thing which is that it is your mistake. As you understand, two of the most difficult things to do for your ego are to say sorry and admit mistake in any form. Hence you may not admit your mistake at all and you may rather start finding ways to complicate this matter so that the truth may get lost in that complication. If you find that there’s no logical reason that your intellect may help you with in this case and the mistake is obviously yours; your ego may take a different path.

You may behave in a manner which may irritate the owner to the point that he may use some not so good words for you. This is all you want and you may shift your entire focus on those words. It means you may try your best to ensure that the fact that his car was hit by your mistake becomes secondary and the fact that he used fowl words for you becomes primary. You may do so because this may put you in a position of advantage and you may now demand the other person to apologize for fowl language he used; instead of saying sorry to him. What happens after this is none of our business and so; let’s get out of it : )

If you’re a conscience driven person and you hit someone’s car by mistake, this is what you may do. You may go to the other person, you may feel sorry and you may offer compensation. Like the emotional person, you may do so honestly and you may do something else also, if the situation so demands. As soon as your cars hit, you may park your car on road side and you may also request the other person to do the same, before you two may talk about this accident.

This is because you understand that the amount of time that it is going to take in order to settle this matter may prove troublesome for other people using this road. Hence you may get your car out of the road and you may then settle. It should be noted that the emotional person may not take this extra step. It is not due to the reason that he may not care about the traffic on this road, it is due to the fact that he may get so lost in accident, being an emotional person; that he may forget there’s traffic on this road. He may get his car out of the road only when the other vehicles start blowing horns.

An intellectual person may also park his car on the roadside but he may lack emotions that an apology should carry. An ego type person may not park his car on roadside, even if other vehicles start blowing horns. This is because he knows subconsciously that more trouble he creates, sooner may this matter get sorted out. It should be noted that people in general want to avoid trouble. Hence if the owner of the affected car finds that the trouble created by the entire scene is more than the damage caused to his car, he may settle at the earliest as he may wish to get out of this mess as soon as he can.

Let’s now look at the same example if you’re the owner of the damaged car, considering the same four possibilities. For the sake of convenience, we’ll assume that the person who hits your car is a genuine person, in all four cases. If you’re an intellect ruled person and someone has hit your car from behind, this is what you may do. You may get out of your car and you may not speak much about this accident unless you’ve gone to the point of impact and you’ve assessed the damage.

It should be noted that as your intellect dominates your emotions in this case, your reactions may be primarily based on the quantum of financial loss, which means the bigger is the damage, the more irritated or angry you may become. Suppose the damage is not much and before you shift your focus to the other person, you hear him saying that he’s sorry and he’ll pay for the damages. This matter should be settled at the earliest now, as your intellect has received the remedy it wanted. There’s damage, there’s compensation and there’s even an apology; this is more than what your intellect may ask for and hence the matter should be settled in no time.

The reason it should be settled in no time is because you’re an intellectual person, the solution to this problem has been offered and you may not want to spend unwanted time in this situation. It means you may agree to the other party and you may try to finish this matter at the earliest because that’ll save you time and when it comes to intellectual people, time is money. The extra 30 minutes you may spend here can be used to do many other things and hence you may want to get out of this situation at the earliest.

Coming to second possibility, suppose you’re an emotional person and you’re attached to this car on emotional level. The reason I’ve mentioned this fact is that being an emotional person, the financial damages occurred due to this car being hit may not matter much to you and the fact that the car you love has been hit and wounded may matter much more to you. Even in this case, you may go to the area of impact first and you may try to assess the damage.

However, this assessment is altogether different from the assessment of the intellectual person. An intellectual person may assess the damage from the point of view of financial loss whereas an emotional person may assess the damage from the point of view of how many injuries has his loved car suffered. Hence you may be concerned more about the injuries sustained by your car as if it is a person and it’s really got hurt; than about the financial losses you may have occurred through this damage.

This difference should be understood properly in order to understand the difference between the working of intellect and heart. An intellectual person in this case is primarily concerned about the financial loss and the injuries sustained by the car are secondary as he has no emotional attachment to this car. An emotional person on the other hand is primarily concerned about the injuries sustained by his car and how those injuries have reduced its beauty; and the financial loss occurred by him is secondary.

Suppose the car is not hit much but the injuries are still sufficient to cause you pain. As the other person approaches you and he says he’s truly sorry for his mistake, your pain may be relieved as his words carry a specific type of energy which tells you that he understands your pain and he’s also disturbed by your pain. This much is sufficient for the heart in most cases and hence this matter should be sorted out. More than the compensation, the heartfelt apology from this person is what may do the trick for you. Let me mention once again that all this is happening subconsciously like in all other cases, and even you may not be consciously aware about all this happening inside you.

If you’re a person ruled by ego, this is what you may do in the same situation. You may take a brief look at the damaged area of your car and you may reserve most of your energy to deal with the person who hit your car with his car. This is due to the reason that in this case, neither the quantum of financial damages is primary nor the injuries sustained by your car are primary; as both of them may not matter much to you, being the type of person you are.

The thing that matters the most to you is, ‘how dare he hit my car?’ It should be understood clearly that it is not about damage and it is not about the car even; it is about ‘my car’, which means it is about ‘me’. Hence when you start talking to the other person about this damage, you may use personal pronouns again and again, though you do so subconsciously which means without intentional effort. Here are some of the possible sentences you may use.

‘You should have driven carefully. You’ve hit my car. I purchased this car recently and look how much trouble you’ve caused me’. If you’re an offensive type of person as well, you may also add a line like, ‘if you don’t know how to drive, you should first learn and then drive’ or any other offensive line. You may use all these sentences in a way that the primary focus is only on two types of words; the first ones are the pronouns which refer to you and the second ones are the pronouns which refer to him. It means the words like I, me, my, you and your are the ones which may be accentuated the most, though you may not do so with effort and this accent may come through your subconscious mind.

This is because the ego works through division. Hence for your ego; the boundaries should be clearly defined and in fact, most of the boundaries in all spheres of life have been drawn by the ego. It should be noted that for your ego, the person interacting with you even in a friendly situation is your enemy, though you may not know it consciously. This is because your ego knows only two things lying at the opposite extremes; all that is mine means friend and all that is not mine means enemy. There are no neutral territories for your ego, in most cases.

This is why a person with high ego may always think that the whole world is conspiring against him; as he considers the whole world as his enemy. For a person with high ego, you’re always his enemy, unless you prove otherwise, which means you work for his benefit and you’re at least partly controlled by him. We’ll talk about this topic later on.

Since your ego considers even a neutral person as your enemy, though you may not know it consciously as all this is happening in the hidden part of your mind called the subconscious mind; the person who has actually done something to hurt your ego is a certified and bigger enemy; even if he’s done so by mistake. Hence as soon as you face this situation, it becomes a war between you and this person and considering it from your point of view; it becomes a war between ‘I’ and ‘You’. It is interesting that this war between I and You has been prevailing since the time immemorial and the only entity responsible for this war is the ego.

Hence you may use a number of personal pronouns related to you and this person and these pronouns may carry a lot of energy. The reason you’re doing so is because deep down; you’re in war with this person and accordingly; what matters the most is the equation between you and him. It means that the damages suffered by your car, the financial losses and everything else becomes secondary; and this war between you and him becomes primary.

You may not know it, but in the deepest part of your mind, this fact is being asserted again and again that this person his hit you though in reality, his car has hit your car. It means it’s not about the cars and it is about people for your ego. Hence you may react not as if his car has hit your car, but as he has hit you. In simple words, you take it personally and this is why you use a number of personal pronouns carrying a lot of energy.

A proper settlement in this case is very difficult because no matter what the other person may offer, you may never be satisfied. Even if he offers apology to satisfy your ego and he offers compensation for the damages; you may not feel satisfied though a formal settlement may be reached because there’s nothing more you can receive according to the prevalent laws.

However, as you both leave the venue; after the settlement is finalized; and say it is finalized in the most genuine way which means you’ve received apology as well as compensation; you may still be dissatisfied. The reason it may happen is that deep down, you have this feeling that the other person has intentionally hit your car and more than that, he’s hit you. Hence you’ve created a new enemy within yourself and you may keep cursing him even after this incident, when you have no valid reason to do so.

In the first two cases where you’re ruled by intellect and heart respectively, you may not even think about this person after this settlement is finalized in a good way; or you may think positively about him. However in this case, you may still carry negativity for this person though he’s done his best to compensate for your loss. Hence you may curse him again and again in your mind; and it may continue for a significant period of time after leaving the venue. If your ego is hurt more for any reasons, you may remember this incident as well as this person for a long period of time; of course in a negative way.

The reason you may remember it for long is that your ego is exceptionally good at defining friends and enemies; and it is even better at remembering them. It may forget a friend by mistake; but it’ll never forget an enemy. Hence when you mark this person as your enemy; you attach a lot of energy to this word. This is an instruction for your subconscious mind that the fact that this person is your enemy is important and it should be saved in the best possible way. As your subconscious mind marks it important, you’ll almost never forget him, at least on subconscious level.

This is how your ego may create hell for you. It should be noted that no matter how many times you curse this person for the rest of your life; the negative energy sent by you to him is not going to reach him and it is only going to come back to you. This is because according to the law of karma, you have received a proper settlement or repayment for your trouble and hence you’re not entitled to complain. Even if you keep complaining or cursing this person after this incident; the forces of nature may not carry this energy to him and hence it may come back to you again and again; creating more and more negativity inside you.

Himanshu Shangari

 

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This is due to the reason that all types of profits and losses fall under the domain of your intellect and your heart doesn’t know this language to start with. Your heart operates on the basis of feelings and emotions; and it doesn’t care about profits or losses related to material things. All it cares for are profits or losses related to the feelings it wants to have. Hence it feels like having profit if it achieves a feeling it wants and it feels like suffering loss if it fails to have that feeling. Whatever cost is paid in order to have that feeling is something it doesn’t understand at all.

Moving on, If you look at a food item and the first thing you notice happening inside you is that you should have this food item because it is one of those food items; that only rich, famous or special type of people can afford or eat; this voice is coming from your ego. This is because your ego finds pleasure in copying the behavior of special type of people so that it may also feel special like them. Your heart may not like this food item at all and your intellect may not see any benefit in it; but your ego may still enjoy it a lot as this is the food of special type of people.

However, if you look at a food item and the first thing you notice happening inside you is a strong feeling of liking for this food item, supported by a lot of water in your mouth; this feeling is certainly coming from your heart. Even if this food item is not healthy according to your intellect and even if it is the food of a common man or even that of a poor man according to your ego; your heart doesn’t care about anything and all it wants is to have this food item. Your heart only cares for what it wants, it believes in living in the moment and it doesn’t care about profits or losses which may come later on, through any act it engages in.

This is why emotional type of people can be the biggest gamblers in all spheres of life as they don’t care much about profits or losses. If they want to take risk; the feeling of taking risk is what they love the most which means that the thrill which comes through risk is all their hearts want and they don’t care for what cost they may have to pay for this feeling. An interesting thing to note here is that some people keep losing one gamble after another in their lives but they don’t stop and in fact, they don’t even seem bothered.

An intellectual person may advise one such person that he should not gamble or take such high risks any longer as they bring him losses more often than they bring profits. The intellectual person may also suggest that the gambler should start building a safe approach which means taking the lowest possible risk, in order to avoid setbacks and instability in life. The gambler may not listen to him at all and he may keep doing the same thing.

The intellectual person may think the gambler is a fool, the gambler may also think the same about him. This is because the gambler is an emotionally dominated person, he has developed liking for the thrill that high amount of risk brings with it; and all he cares for is to have this feeling again and again, though even he may not know it consciously. In fact, a majority of people taking big risks in different spheres of life are dominated by heart, ego or conscience and they’re not dominated by intellect.

This happens due to the reason that the intellect is all about calculations and analyses due to which it may almost always advice against such risks because the risk to reward ratio is very high. Hence an intellectual person may consider such risks as blind risks and accordingly, he may avoid them. Your ego may take high risks only in conditions where it strongly gets attached to the rewards and not otherwise. Your conscience may take high risks only in conditions where universal well being or collective well being is at stake and not otherwise.

For example, a person with high ego can risk his life in order to win a medal or recognition whereas a person with high conscience can risk his life without such desires; at times he feels a genuine need to do so. It means a soldier controlled by ego may risk his life in a war primarily in order to win a medal whereas a soldier ruled by conscience may risk his life in a war because engaging in this war is the demand of the situation and for no other reasons. The latter type of soldier doesn’t bother about the medal or even about the result of this war and all he cares for is his karma; which is to fight till the end in this situation.

Hence the soldier with high ego is focused more on rewards and less on the act of war whereas the soldier with high conscience is completely focused on the act of war, which means he’s focused on his duty. Accordingly; the primary desire of the soldier with high ego is to gain recognition or honor through this war, which can make him do selfish things or manipulate facts in a way that they look bigger than they are; so that he may receive honors.

When it comes to your heart, it makes calculations in a different way and the variables used in these calculations are not the numbers and they are the feelings and emotions. Therefore, if your heart encourages you to take one such risk, it is not interested in the net profit or loss you may achieve through such risk and all it cares for is the feeling of thrill that comes with this risk. According to your heart, if this feeling is witnessed, profit is earned whereas the failure to experience this feeling means loss in the language of your heart. This is why there’s always been a strong conflict between the people dominated by intellect and those dominated by heart.

It should be noted that all the rules and laws of different countries or societies have been made by intellectual people so that some type of predictable order may be observed in societies as well as in systems bigger than societies. As the intellect is all about making calculations and drawing probabilities based on those calculations and as it does so under certain defined rules which don’t change in general; it is much more dependable when it comes to achieve stability. This is why intellect is used to draft all the rules and laws because it keeps calling the same thing right which it did a number of years ago. It means your intellect works on the basis of fixed theories and hence it doesn’t deviate much with time, though it may evolve and certain modifications may be applied to those theories.

However, your intellect may seldom suggest something which is very different or even the exact opposite of what it suggested some time back, in relation to the same thing or situation. For instance, it is your intellect which makes you learn and apply this simple rule that two plus two equals four. Once you’ve learnt this rule; it is not likely to change throughout your life and hence; two plus two will always be four for you; as long as your intellect is dealing with this calculation.

Taking another example, it is your intellect which makes you learn and apply this rule that as long as the sun remains effective in the sky, it is day whereas the absence of Sun is night. To simplify, your intellect learns a rule that the presence of sunlight is day and the absence of sunlight means night. Once it learns this rule, it may not change it and it may keep obeying this rule. Accordingly, when the intellect is used to make laws or rules; it sticks to them and it doesn’t change its stand, which is what makes it reliable; and reliability is the first thing needed for any types of laws or rules to sustain in the long run.

The matters of your heart are much different and in fact, they may be the opposite of those of your intellect. When it comes to the domain of your heart, two plus two can equal four at one time; two plus two can equal five at another time, this resultant may be zero at yet another time and it may be anything else at another time. For instance, one person plus one more person is two persons for your intellect but it can still be one person for your heart as it sees them in so much love that they’re not two but one. On the other hand, it may see them as no person as they may hate each other so much that they may end up killing each other.

Though your intellect may consider this result only when it actually happens which means they kill each other in reality; your heart may see it happening the moment it feels that the quantum of hate between these two persons is strong enough to kill them both. If you look at it from a broad prospective; your heart can give you much better and faster decisions than your intellect can, at times. This is because your intellect works on the basis of probabilities and it moves in steps; one after the other. Hence if a process involves ten steps; your intellect considers all of them one by one; before reaching to the conclusion which is obtained after the tenth step or at the tenth step. So it moves from step one to step two, then to step three and it reaches to step ten in this way.

When it comes to your heart; it may directly jump from the first step to the tenth step; not caring for the steps in between. Your intellect may find it absurd as that is not how it should be, because the chances of error are high if you do so. However, a surprising thing is that your heart may be right on more such occasions than it may be wrong; provided it is not corrupted by your ego. These chances further increase a lot if it is boosted by your conscience. If such is the case, your heart may almost always jump from the first step to the last step; even if it is step number 100 or step number 1000; and it’ll almost always be right.

Hence your heart may do things for you in a moment; which your intellect may take years or even lives to achieve; in such cases. This is why you may almost never be able to understand concepts like god or soul through your intellect as you need to go through millions of steps and doing so is almost impossible for your intellect. However, your heart may directly jump from the first step which is you; to the last step which is god; and it may eliminate all the steps in between. For this reason; a number of the things can only be achieved by your heart and not by your intellect. In practical language, these concepts can only be felt or experienced and they can’t be understood.

Since feelings are ruled by heart; you need heart to feel and experience these concepts. For instance, you can’t understand the exact taste of a mango without eating it; no matter how hard you may try, which means no matter how much you may read or hear about its taste. The best way to know how a mango tastes is to taste it; which means to feel it and experience it. Hence you can’t know the exact taste of a mango without experiencing it and the same goes for a number of other things.

Accordingly; you can’t understand your soul, god and the biggest concepts related to existence; no matter how much you read about them or hear about them, which means through your intellect. The only way to know them in sense is to feel and experience them, just like you do in case of mango; and this way comes through your heart and not through your intellect. We’ll discuss this topic in details, later on.

Moving on, your heart doesn’t follow fixed rules like your intellect and it works in a different way. One rule that can define your heart in the best possible way is the rule of feeling. It means whatever your heart feels like doing at any time is the rule for that time. It means your heart is all about the present moment and nothing else.

Hence a person dominated by heart can see day as night or night as day if his heart tells him so. Similarly, a person dominated by heart can kill someone or he may sacrifice his life for someone, if he feels that doing so is the right thing according to the situation, though it may be absolutely wrong according to the intellect. An interesting fact is that if you injure someone under the influence of your intellect, you may never feel bad for it as you do all the calculations before engaging in this act and you only do so when your intellect gives you justified reasons to engage in this act; provided it is not controlled by your ego.

Since your intellect has justified this action first and engaged in it later on; and as your intellect remains fixed in its opinions; there’s no way you may feel bad later on and hence there’re no chances you may feel sorry later on. For instance, when a policeman shoots a criminal in an encounter; he may not feel guilty later on as he knows in advance that shooting this criminal is his duty and hence he’s not doing anything wrong. The moment he leaves for the venue where such encounter is planned; he’s decisive that he’ll shoot the criminal or criminals if needed. Hence it’s an action well planned by his intellect and it may not bring regrets later on.

On the other hand, if you injure someone under the influence of your heart; you do so under impulse and you don’t care for the right or wrong in this act. Your heart feels like doing so and you do it. The confusion may start when after some time or even shortly after doing so; your heart is controlled by another feeling that the other person is suffering a lot and your heart starts giving you vibes of discomfort. Based on your overall personality type, you may ask for forgiveness, you may offer help or you may even injure yourself in order to balance out this act. This is the problem with your heart, it doesn’t stick to fixed rules and it can keep changing them based on how it feels at any particular time. When you use your intellect to analyze this situation; injuring yourself in order to balance out the equation is foolishness.

Taking an example, if you’re an emotionally dominated person, you may even kill someone in the heat of the moment. When you’re captured and presented before a judge who is intellectually dominated; you may confess your crime and you may feel truly sorry for engaging in such crime as you were unable to realize the quantum of such crime while committing it. The judge is intellectual, he looks at the facts; he finds you guilty and he delivers the punishment decided for this crime.

Whether he gives you a life sentence or a capital punishment may not bother him at all later on; as he is doing so after due consideration. Hence you may regret your act of committing a murder as you’re an emotional type; the judge may not regret his act of punishing you as he’s an intellectual type. It should be noted that the judges completely dominated by intellect may deliver justice; completely in accordance with the letter of the law whereas the judges having significantly strong emotional planes may bend their decisions one way or the other.

For instance, if someone kills a loved one of yours and being an emotional type; you kill him also; this is what may happen. The intellectual type of judge may award you punishment which duly justifies this type of crime. Suppose, the minimum punishment for murder is 14 years; the maximum punishment is the capital punishment and your crime seems to deserve 20 years on intellectual merit; then this is what an intellectual type of judge may reward you with. On the other hand, an emotional type of judge may reward you 14 years in this case as he may be biased in your favor because you killed someone who killed a loved one of yours.

It means that deep down; the emotional judge is bent in your favor as he feels you did the right thing by killing the person who killed your loved one or he feels that this act was only partly wrong and not much wrong. Hence he may award you with minimum possible punishment. On the other hand, the intellectual type of judge may not consider this fact in your favor and he may even consider it against you because of the fact that if everyone starts taking revenge on his own; there may be no law and order in the long run. Hence he may consider this fact against you that instead of approaching the law; you decided to punish that person by yourself. Therefore he may not have much mercy on you. Hence an intellectual type of judge may prove bad for you in this case.

On the other hand, if you’ve raped a girl though you’ve not physically harmed her otherwise, this is what may happen. If the punishment for this crime is from 14 years to capital punishment, the intellectual judge may give you 14 years because the act of rape committed by you is the least violent type or the least intense type of rape. Hence he may give you the minimum punishment because the law says if the crime of rape is of least intensity, the punishment should be the least, which is 14 years in this case.

If the same case is decided by an emotional type of judge, you may get 20 years for the same crime as he may bend against you. This is because he may hate you for raping a girl and hence he may want to punish you as much as he can. Since the quantum of punishment may not be justified by any means if it crosses 20 years in this case; he may give you 20 years of imprisonment. If he has the choice, he may give you the capital punishment also though he may not do so in this case.

This is due to the reason that he understands that the intensity of your crime doesn’t call for a capital punishment according to the letter of law. Accordingly, such punishment may be cancelled by a higher court and he may also have to explain his motive behind awarding such inappropriate punishment. Therefore, he may want to give you a capital punishment but he may end up giving you a sentence for 20 years or as much as he feels he safely can. You see, how the type of personality you possess can affect each and every decision you make.

Taking a more common example when you’re an emotional type, suppose you and your lover have a fight and under impulse, you hit her with your fist on her face and she sustains significant injury like she may break a tooth. Soon after that, you may start feeling bad and you start hitting your fist against the wall so that it may be punished. Your heart may feel that doing so balances your previous action but your intellect may find it an even bigger mistake.

According to your intellect, you make one mistake when you hit your lover because the rule it has learnt is that physical violence without valid reason is prohibited and so you should not have used it against your lover. However, if by any chance, you’ve engaged in physical violence and you’ve hurt her, the best thing you can do is to compensate her by taking care of her or by doing anything else which may satisfy her. On the contrary, by hurting yourself, you’re only making the situation worse because one person needed to be taken care of as a result of your first action; and two people need medical care as a result of your second action as you may seriously injure your hand. Hence the problem has not been solved but it has been aggravated, according to your intellect.

When it comes to your heart, it feels like hitting your lover and before you intellect may interfere and stop it from doing so, you hit her. As your heart doesn’t do calculations in advance, it may not be aware about the result of this action at all, which means it may not be aware of how much damage can be caused by this act; and all it knows is that it feels like hitting her. Hence when you do so under the impact of your heart, you don’t hit her with the intention of breaking her tooth and you simply hit her as you feel like doing so. Whether your punch causes mild injury or serious injury is none of your business at this moment because the quantum of injury is a calculation and your heart doesn’t deal with calculations.

Hence you hit her under the command of your heart and as you complete this act, this feeling leaves your heart for the time being. This is because your heart felt like hitting her, you’ve hit her and hence it has achieved what it wanted and so it can move out of this zone now. It should be noted that if your heart doesn’t feel like having enough of this feeling when you hit her once, it may keep pushing you to do so again and hence you may keep hitting her until it feels satisfied and this is the time you may stop, though you may have caused significant damage to her face by that time.

Once your heart feels satisfied, it is free of this feeling and hence it relaxes. As it relaxes, the feeling of love for your lover may come back and that feeling may overtake it. When it happens, your heart may start feeling bad by looking at your bleeding lover and it may now feel like punishing the guilty one, who made her suffer so much. When it comes to the culprit, your heart may have encouraged you to cause significant damage to this culprit, if it was someone else which means a third person.

However, as the culprit is no one but you; it is you who should face this punishment. As your hand has hit your lover, the same hand should be punished as this is what your heart may feel at that moment. Once again, under the influence of your heart which is controlled by a different type of feeling now, you may start hitting the wall with your fist and you may injure your fist. The reason why your heart forces you to do so is that the feeling of pain suffered by your lover must be paid with the same quantum of pain suffered by the culprit.

You may remember that I’ve already mentioned earlier that your heart doesn’t deal in numbers and it deals in feelings. Hence the definition of fair for your heart in this case is to generate the same type and same quantum of feeling that has been felt by the other person. Since it is a feeling of physical pain that your lover has, you’re also directed to have the same feeling in order to settle this equation. Comparing it to a balancing act of your intellect, you hit someone’s car and you pay for the repairs. It means you try to balance out his loss by suffering loss yourself as you’re the one responsible for such loss. The other person accepts your money; and the equation is settled according to your intellect.

Your heart is doing the same in this case, though in a different way. Since it feels the same pain like your lover did, when you hit the wall with your fist, it feels that it has paid for the damage and hence it relaxes. It should be noted that all the feelings like joy and pain are dealt with by your heart and hence the pain suffered by you will be felt by it; though the physical injury may be sustained by your hand. It is similar to the fact that all the numbers are primarily dealt with by your intellect and that is why you offer compensation in numbers equal to the numbers corresponding to the loss suffered by the other party, when you hit his car with your car.

Hence your heart is also doing the same calculations; but with different variables as it is not dealing in numbers and it is instead dealing in feelings. You may keep hitting your fist against the wall, until your heart feels that the quantum of pain suffered by you is equal to or more than the quantum of pain suffered by your lover.

It is interesting to note that if your heart was to decide a case of accident when you hit someone’s car with your car; this is what you may have done. You may have kept asking for forgiveness until the other person forgives you or you may have done the same amount of damage to your car also. This is because you want to cancel out his feeling of loss and not the numbers of loss.

It means you’re not concerned with the figures of his loss but you’re concerned with the quantum of the feeling of his loss. When you look at it this way, you may find that your heart may deliver better justice in some cases; compared to the justice delivered by your intellect. This is because if you hit the car of a rich person who doesn’t care much about money but who has significant amount of emotions or ego, your heart can handle him better than your intellect can.

As you hit his car and as you offer compensation, it may do nothing much for him as the feeling he has at this moment has not been balanced out. You may even apologize for your mistake but this apology may be formal as it is coming from your intellect and not from your heart. Hence it may contain all the words used for apology but it may lack all the emotions or feelings which convey an apology, because feelings and emotions fall under the domain of your heart and not under the domain of your intellect. Therefore, your intellect can make you say sorry; but it can never mix a feeling of being sorry in your words; as that can be done only by your heart.

As the other person is rich as well as emotional; he may not care for the compensation and even your apology may look like an insult to injury to him as it looks like a formal apology with no feelings of regret at all. The chances are high that he may engage in a dispute and though the laws of the land may demand you to pay the financial damages at the most because the laws are made by intellect; the other party may still have negative feelings against you because the physical damages may have been balanced out, but the feeling has not been balanced out.

Himanshu Shangari

 

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Your emotional plane doesn’t deal with numbers, data or with concepts like profit and loss; and it only deals with feelings and emotions. All it wants is to have more and more of this feeling which is related to the taste of this food item and hence it may keep pushing your body to give it more of this feeling, which means to keep eating more of this food item. As a result, you may keep eating more and suffer discomfort later on.

Let’s now introduce ego and conscience one by one to this equation and let’s see what happens. Suppose you have high ego and accordingly your body, intellect and emotions are controlled by your ego. If such is the case, you may find it difficult to eat more of this food item even if you’re an emotionally dominated person and you really want to eat this food item in significant quantity. This is because your ego doesn’t draw pleasure from things, people or situations on merit; and it gets its pleasure from things, people or situations; based on how worthy it finds them in the short run as well as in the long run.

Since your ego doesn’t have an independent system at its disposal in order to work; and it depends on your body, intellect and emotions to get what it wants; it tries to make sure that all these entities work in a way that they are able to work longer and that too in a better way; until it gets fixed on something or someone, in which case it may abuse any one or more than one of these entities.

You may be surprised to know that ego can also do most of the jobs that your conscience can do but their intentions behind doing these jobs are different and accordingly, the net results may also be different, when the bigger picture is considered. Looking at the present case, your ego may not see any benefit in eating a lot and in fact, it may assign negative value to this act as doing so may disturb your body. If that happens, your ego may not be able to draw as much work from your body as it wants and hence it may try to stop your heart from having this desire.

In order to do so, it may start using your intellect in a way that it may keep giving you more and more reasons to avoid eating this food item in big quantities. The memories and other data stored on your subconscious mind may also be used for this purpose and hence you may be reminded of previous incidents when you did so and suffered later on. However, this is not all and your ego may directly influence your heart also; as ego is the biggest trickster in your entire existence and it has got millions of ways to exploit your body, intellect and emotions; as and when it wants.

For instance, it may use your intellect and it may hit your heart where it matters the most for your heart. It means your ego may bring up a reference how your girlfriend who you may love a lot and love comes from heart; dislikes this habit of yours and hence you must quit it. Since your girlfriend may matter more for your heart than this food item; your heart may feel pressurized not to request this food item in big quantities. If your girlfriend is also attending this party along with you; the pressure may become even bigger as your ego now has the presence of your girlfriend and it can use this presence to its advantage.

Though your girlfriend may be in a good mood today and she may not have any idea of disturbing you when you eat as she may think that she should let you do what you want to do at times; your ego may project so many imaginary fears about how she may get upset if she sees you doing this act again. Pressurized by the situation as well as by the facts, your heart may surrender and you may choose not to eat this item beyond a healthy quantity though a part of your heart may keep crying for more; as doing so is its natural job.

Similarly, it may create many other such reasons and it may finally succeed in keeping you away from this habit. Doesn’t it sound good that your ego can also take care of your body, intellect and heart? If your ego can do most of the things that your conscience can do and it can also help maintain harmony between these three entities; how come your conscience is your best friend and your ego is your worst enemy?

This is due to the reason that your ego does all this at high costs as well as with selfish intentions, which means it doesn’t care about your body or your heart in this case, all it cares for is that your body should not suffer on account of acts which bring no  benefit to your ego. As soon as the same act offers some type of benefit to your ego; it may switch sides and when that happens, it may encourage your intellect to support your heart; and your heart as well as your intellect supported by your ego may force your body to engage in this act.

Taking an example, suppose there’s a competition at this party and this competition says that whoever eats the maximum amount of a particular food item in one go, where this food item may be the one you like a lot; will win the competition and will receive a prize. If that happens, the entire equation will change and your ego which looked like your best friend till now; will turn your worst enemy. Your ego knows that you like this item and you can eat it a lot; which means you can bring this prize for it. It should be noted that most of the competitions are created and enjoyed by ego and ego alone.

Let’s try to analyze this situation and try to find out what is happening within you. Starting with your heart; it likes this food item and all it cares for is to have it more and more. Hence it may cast its vote in favor of this act; not for the prize but for the feeling of joy it gets while eating this food item. Your ego on the other hand has got nothing to do with this food item and all it wants is to win this prize. This is because winning this prize will ensure that among all the people present at the party; you’re the one who can do this job.

It means you have something special that the others don’t have and hence this special ability may bring you prize as well as appreciation from a number of people present at the party as most people appreciate the winners in any types of competition. Attention, appreciation, recognition, distinction, control or authority of some type; are the things your ego loves the most and hence it may at once cast its vote in favor of this act. This is the time it won’t care for your body because it’ll do so only when there’s no benefit for it in an act and it can compromise the well being of any of these entities; if it sees benefit for it.

Looking at your intellect, it is neither interested in the feeling of joy as it can’t feel anything to start with; nor is it interested in authority or appreciation because your intellect in its natural state doesn’t feed on these things and they’re dealt with by your ego. However, it may care for the value of the prize as numbers, material values and relative comparisons between values to find profit and loss fall under its domain.

Suppose the value of the prize is decent in a way which influences your intellect. It means your intellect may start calculating as to how much discomfort your body may suffer later on if you eat a lot versus the material value of the prize. As your ego is also influencing your intellect, it may reach a conclusion that the value of the prize is worth giving this competition a try. Hence your intellect my also vote in favor of this competition and as you can see, all three of these entities may agree to this act though their reasons may be different.

This leaves your body which is the poor one in this case and which is going to suffer later on. However, as your intellect, emotions and ego lie on the second level; they’re in commanding position and hence they can force your body to do things which it may not feel comfortable with, as we’ll find later in this example.

An interesting thing to note here is that if your girlfriend is also attending this party and she also has significant amount of ego; the chances of which are high; even her ego may exploit her. It means that though in general, she may be against this overeating habit of yours; she may surprisingly support your decision to eat a lot through this competition and in fact, she may even encourage you to do so; before you’ve yourself decided to do it.

All this happens because of her ego. In the past, if she disliked this habit of yours and she tried to stop you from engaging in it through any possible means she had; she did so on account of ego and not on account of love. This is because pure love will never try to control the lover, unless it is corrupted by the ego which enjoys controlling each and everyone around you. If she was controlled more by love and less by ego, she may have told you that this is a bad habit and she may even have tried to convince you to quit it; and that’s all.

It means she might not have tried to forcibly stop you from engaging in this habit by supplying intellectual logics, through emotional pressure or even through mental torture when she found you experiencing physical discomfort after eating a lot. It means she might tell you again and again in a complaining way that she tried to keep you away from eating a lot but you didn’t listen to her and look what discomfort you’re going through now.

Kindly pay attention that the primary focus is not on your discomfort and this focus is on what she told you, what you didn’t listen to and how you suffered by not listening to her. It means the primary focus is on her as well as on her advice and your physical discomfort is just being used as a tool by her ego. Next time when you tried to eat a lot in her presence, she might have used this reference to control you that last time you didn’t listen to her and you suffered. Therefore, you should listen to her this time. Similar things may have happened related to many other situations or habits of yours; and she may have advised you against them; primarily because she didn’t like them and not because they’re bad for you.

However, the situation has changed now and accordingly her definition of good and bad has changed. She knows you can eat a lot and she knows you can win this competition, though doing so may once again result in physical discomfort later on. As her ego may get focused on the appreciation you may receive if you win this competition and on the pride she may have by virtue of choosing you as her lover; your physical discomfort may be ignored altogether. In fact, she may not think about it even once as all she wants is for you to win this competition.

This is how your ego can control you, this is how it can corrupt even the most beautiful emotions like love and this is how it can twist the definition of fair in the opposite direction; as and when it sees benefits. Kindly pay attention that I’ve used the phrase ‘choosing you as her lover’ instead of using the phrase ‘being your lover’; and I’ve done it on purpose.

The reason behind this phrase is that a person with high ego will almost always think he’s chosen you as his lover and your wish to choose him becomes passive. A person with significant but not high ego will think that he’s chosen you and you’ve also chosen him. A person with significant conscience will think that you’ve chosen him and he’s grateful to you for doing so. However, a person with high conscience will think that love has chosen both of you in order to happen and none of you have chosen the other. It should be noted that your ego can only take pride in something your lover has or achieves; if it is convinced that you’ve chosen him and not otherwise.

This is because the major percentage of pride through one such act of your lover doesn’t come due to his act and it rather comes through your ability to know in advance that your lover is capable of achieving or doing something special. Hence when he achieves something; your ego feeds on this feeling that it knew well in advance that the investment made by it in this person would pay off and look it has paid off. Hence it may reach the conclusion that it was smart enough to invest in a person who has something special about him. A perfect trader of love with all the focus on more and more profits; is what your ego can make you into.

Hence your girlfriend may also encourage you to enter this competition as that gives her ego a reason to grow because she can take pride in the fact that she chose you as her lover or even in the fact that it was she who knew that you’d win this competition and hence she encouraged you to enter it. Another interesting fact related to this event is that the reason she supports you for entering this competition is the pride that your victory may bring for her ego; and the reason why she encourages you to enter this competition even before you make up your mind; is to have yet another type of satisfaction for her ego.

If you win this competition, she may start telling people that she knew in advance that you’d win and that is why she encouraged you to enter this competition, even before you were able to decide on this by yourself. It means she knows you better than you, she knows what’s good for you in any situation and whenever you act on her advice; you end up benefitting. You see, though the physical prize has been won by you in case you win; her ego has won her even bigger prizes as she’s the one responsible for your victory and you may not have made it without her. Don’t we as humans have personalities much more complex than anyone of us can even imagine : )

The game is not over and a lot may still happen as you engage in this competition. During the competition, a stage may be reached when you may start realizing that you’re closer to reach your physical limit of eating and this feeling may start reflecting through your body language, whether you know it or not. At this stage, two egos may work against your body; one of which is yours and the second one belongs to your lover.

When it comes to your ego; it hates nothing more than losing or apologizing and hence it may keep pushing your body to eat more, even if it feels discomfort. Looking at your lover, she may also realize through your body language that you’re closer to reaching your limit. This is because she’s spent a significant amount of time with you and the people who spend a lot of time with you may almost always be able to predict the true meaning of a subconscious physical expression given by you in any situation; through their experiences of the similar types in past.

This is why your family members or your lover may interpret your subtle or subconscious expressions; even when other people may not even notice them in the first place. For example, whenever you reach your physical eating limit, you start changing your seating postures in order to make more space available, you start tapping the table with your hands in order to encourage yourself or you start smiling in order to convey to other people that everything is fine when it is not. Though a stranger may not know the reason you’re tapping the table in one such situation; people close to you know it through experiences as you’ve done it many times and the result has always been your inability to eat more.

Hence your lover may also realize from your body language that you’re reaching your eating limit and this is when her ego may also start pushing you to eat more as her ego also doesn’t want you to lose. This is because if you lose this competition, you’re not the only loser and she may also become a loser, at least according to her ego as it may then feel bad and it may even start suggesting her that the decision to chose you as lover was probably not the best decision she made.

However, it is just a suggestion of small quantum and it alone is not capable of producing significant results as the decision to continue or discontinue a relationship depends on the resultant of a large number of positive as well as negative opinions or ratings in favor of the lover as well as against him. As the resultant starts shifting towards negativity, which means your ego feels like losing more than gaining, it may encourage you to get out of this relationship and find a profitable one. If the gains at any time are greater than the losses, such losses may not break your relationship though they may certainly cause arguments and resentments.

Hence your lover may also push you to eat more and the problem with her ego may become even bigger if she encouraged you to participate in this competition before you made up your mind. If that is the case, her ego is much more attached to the result of this competition because it is she who pushed you into this competition and accordingly, it is she who’ll win or lose; in her own mind. Therefore, she may start encouraging you to eat more due to which, you have two egos working against your body; and both these egos are very important for you.

In fact, when your girlfriend starts encouraging you after realizing that you’re physical capacity is reaching, her body language may also reflect the subconscious expressions which say that she or you as a team are about to lose and she doesn’t want it to happen. No one else may read those expressions but you do read them through your experience because you witness the same expressions when you see her in situations when she’s likely to lose and she hates losing.

Therefore, you may understand her expressions and this is what may put even more pressure on you because if you stop eating more, you’ll not only lose this competition; you’ll also upset your lover and the amount of confidence she has in you may decrease, which may cause problems for your relationship in future. You see, how much is at stake when you’re engaging in a simple competition like this one?

Have you ever noticed that whatever job you may be doing, like a physical activity; you may tend to do it with more energy as your lover approaches or as someone you want to impress approaches? You do so because on subconscious level; your ego knows that her ego will assign more points to more energy and hence your equation with this person may become more favorable for you; whatever it may be at that stage. It means if it is your lover, she may start attaching more value to you and if it is a girl you want to impress, she may also attach value to you and she may start taking interest in you because you have something special which can serve as a tool to satisfy her ego; from time to time.

Pressurized by these two egos, you may keep eating beyond your physical limits and though you may feel strong physical discomfort after eating more; suppose you finally win this competition. As soon as that happens, your ego as well as her ego may divert the focus from physical discomfort and it may start enjoying the fruits of this victory. Your ego may satisfy it through the prize as well as through the attention and her ego may satisfy it through the choice it made when attaching to you as well as to this competition.

Your body may be suffering like hell but the two egos under consideration are joyful like anything. You’re busy receiving appreciations and she’s busy telling other people that she’s the one who knew you’d win before you knew. Even if your condition worsens and you have to take medicines as well as rest for a couple of days after this competition, these egos are strong enough to console you that this much discomfort is not a high price to pay for the victory. Even your girlfriend may tell you that you did a great job and she may take good care of you, while you’re not well.

She’s the same person who advised you against eating a lot and whenever you suffered by eating a lot despite her advice; she added insult to injury by saying so many negative things to you. Why is it so that your sufferings are the same or even more but her behavior has reversed? The reason is that during all those times, you acted against her advice and that is why she took pleasure in taunting you when you suffered, so that you might know the value of her advice.

In the present case, you’ve acted on her advice and that is why she’s comforting you. Kindly note that if she sees you in discomfort the next day; her ego has left her with no other choice but to say it is fine. This is because if she says this is bad and you shouldn’t have entered that competition; her advice also becomes wrong. If that happens, the amount of value you attach to her advice in future may reduce as she has a tendency to go wrong also. As you devalue her advice or opinion, the amount of control she may have over you also reduces.

This is due to the reason that most people in this day and age try to control the ones they love or they think they love; through hidden methods like intellectual or emotional tricks and they don’t use direct methods. For example, most people won’t tell their lovers that they want to control them and the only way their lovers can keep having a relationship with them is to do what they say. This doesn’t happen often as people are smart enough to realize that no one may agree to have a relationship on this condition.

Accordingly, indirect methods are used where you convey to the other person that whatever you’re advising them to do or not do is because he’ll benefit from it and there is no other intention. Since you love him, his benefit is primary for you and that is why you’re taking all this pain to make sure that he benefits. If he listens to you and acts upon your advice; your purpose is served as you’ve controlled him in the name of love.

On the other hand, if he doesn’t listen to you, an argument may start and your statements may still convey that you want the best for him, that is why you advise him and whenever he goes against one such advice and faces problems; it hurts you a lot. Hence you may try to convey that you want his well being more than he wants and that is why he should listen to you, more than he listens to himself even. You’ve learnt a better way to control your lover, in the name of working or advising for his welfare. Many of us do this and then we call it love : )

In reality, all you’re trying to do is to control your lover so that he may do what you want him to do and he may stay away from doing what you don’t want him to do. Going back to the example, you may suffer from even more physical discomfort in this case than you usually do as you ate a lot more this time; your own ego as well as your lover or so to say, her ego is justifying this act.

The result is the same which means physical discomfort and accordingly, she should have treated you the same like she does when something like this happens, but she’s doing the opposite? As you can understand now; you went against her advice on all those occasions whereas you acted upon her advice on this occasion and this is what makes all the difference. It means what you do is not as important for her as the fact whether you do it by going against her advice or by acting on her advice.

Since her advice which is the control factor generated by her ego; is in favor of eating a lot this time; you receive praise for the same act that usually brings you trouble from her side. This leads us to the conclusion that what she wants is more important than whether it is beneficial for you or not in reality. It further means that the control factor remains dominant over this relationship and this is why it is trade and it is not love. You see, how surprisingly can things behave at the bottom; when they appear so good on the surface?

It should be noted that most of this is happening in the domain of subconscious mind and hence neither you nor your lover may have conscious knowledge that this entire act has been performed to satisfy your egos; at the cost of making your body suffer. It means she may not even know that she’s tried to control you through this act and even you may not feel it because everything is happening in the realm of the hidden; the subconscious mind.

Coming to the second option, let’s consider that you have high conscience instead of having high ego; and see what happens here. Since your conscience is controlling your body, intellect and emotions now; the first thing which is bound to happen is harmony. As a result, it may stop your heart from pushing your body to eat more and more of this food item as doing so may cause discomfort to your body and hence the harmony may be disturbed. Your intellect may also be used by your conscience and the end result may once again be the same, which means you choose not to eat this food item beyond the point where it may cause physical discomfort later on.

Hence both your ego as well as your conscience may deliver the same result in this situation but the cost paid for their service is different and this is where everything changes. Your conscience may not convince you to abstain from eating beyond a point because it wants to accomplish some plans through your body, like your ego does. Your conscience does so because maintaining harmony in your body is its job and there’s nothing else to it. Hence your ego offers its services at high cost whereas your conscience offers its services for free.

Looking at the way your ego and conscience do this job; your ego may pressurize you, blackmail you or even force your heart to stay out of this act as these are the weapons your ego is equipped with. Your ego is exceptionally good at putting you as well as the others under fear or greed in order to get what it wants. Hence it may succeed in accomplishing this job but its ways are negative and the costs are high.

Your conscience on the other hand works on the method of harmony through awareness as well as through mutual agreement. Hence it may guide your body, intellect and heart in a much better way than your ego does; because the conscience ensures that there’s something for each one of these entities, which may satisfy them. On the other hand, your ego doesn’t care about any of these entities and all it cares for is what it wants and in order to get it, your ego can keep abusing any one or even all three of these entities; throughout your life.

For instance, in the present example; your ego finds no benefit in eating this food item a lot and it even doesn’t see any benefit in eating this food item at all. This is because having a particular food item or the other, merely on the basis of liking, is the choice of your heart and all other entities like your body, intellect, ego and even your conscience don’t care for such preferences. It means that for all these entities; any type of food is food and its purpose is to provide energy to your body in a healthy way. As long as that keeps happening, none of them is concerned about one food item or another; and this is what your heart only cares for.

It should be noted that though your intellect, ego and even your conscience may advice in favor of some food items or they may even advice against some food items from time to time; these recommendations are based on facts and benefits; instead of being based on tastes of such food items. For instance, your intellect may tell you that you must have two cups of milk everyday in order to meet your daily protein requirements, if you’re a vegetarian. Your heart may not like the taste of milk much; but you may still keep having it, if you’re an intellect dominated person.

This is the time to look at a meaningful sign that you may use while deciding your liking for a food item. When you look at a food item and you feel like having it; here is how to check whether this liking is coming through intellect, ego or through heart. If the first thought that crosses your mind when you look at this food item or when you think about it is that it is good for your health or it delivers any other kind of benefit, this liking is coming from your intellect and not from your heart.

Himanshu Shangari

 

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If his business is genuinely not going good and he tells you this honestly; your mood may change at once. Though he may be telling you pure truth; you may get upset as you may consider it as an excuse to ask for more time. Your expectations may tell you that bad business means less money and less money means no money for you. All this is going inside you and it may have got nothing to do with reality. As this happens, you may start getting into the details of why his business is not going good and how bad it is. Though you may show genuine concern on the outside; deep down you only want to know how good or bad your chances of getting your money back on time are : )

As you keep doing so, your brother may notice it and probably another member of your family may also notice it. When it comes to your brother; he may not like what you’re doing because you’re investigating him for money at a family dinner; when you should be asking him about his health, family or any other such thing. You may express subconscious but obvious signs of anxiety as well as distrust and this is what can create negativity in the relationship.

In reality, it may be the case that your brother may be trying for a financial loan so that he may return your money or he may even be looking for you to give him more time. If he gets the loan and he returns your money on time; you’ve created this negativity without any reasons and whether you know it or not; you’ve spoiled a genuine act of help through your expectations. It means that instead of feeling purely thankful to you for this help; your brother may feel more like being insulted by you as you may have done things like you did over this dinner; many times during this year; particularly as the deadline approached closer.

Through your subconscious expressions, you may have told him again and again that your money is more important for you than he is; and this is what can affect this relationship in a negative way. I mean when you keep talking about financial matters even at family events and your subconscious expressions make it obvious that you’re doing so in order to make sure that your money is returned on time; money is indeed more important for you than your brother is. You may investigate, distrust or even indirectly insult your brother for your money and hence you may end up gaining more negativity through this act than you may gain positivity.

People often wonder that how come the people they help are thankless and some of them even turn against them? The primary reason lies in your expectations related to the return of such help or favor and as these expectations gain strength; you start putting pressure on the other person in subconscious ways. This pressure may disturb the other person and he may move away from you; and this may also happen on subconscious level. It means a person may borrow money from you, he may return it though a little late and he may end up having negative feelings for you, instead of being thankful to you.

This is because you didn’t tell him at the time of lending this money that you’ll directly or indirectly trouble him a lot for this money and you instead offered this money like it is no big deal. Hence he expects it to be no big deal but as time goes by; it does become a big deal and in fact; it may become even bigger than your relationship with this person. Hence you may subconsciously make it clear to him that you value your money more than you value him. Accordingly, he may return your money but he may never be the same with you. He’s understood well that whenever it comes to choose between him and money; you’ll always choose money. As you can understand; no one wants a friend or relative like this and hence he may move away from you; so that he may invest his valuable time in finding someone who loves him more than money.

Coming to the second option, if your brother is not able to return this money on time and he asks for more time; you may give him more time though unwillingly; but you’re almost sure to insult him, though you may do so subconsciously. For instance, you may allow him another three months as he asks and then you may start teaching him how to do his business or how to manage his personal expenses. Though you may consciously think that you’re doing so in order to help him, you’re insulting him in reality; on subconscious level.

When you tell him that he should make such and such changes to his business format; you’re telling him that he’s not smart enough to configure these things on his own and you’re also pressurizing him to make more money from business so that your money should be returned at the earliest. You may also advise him to cut down on some of his family or personal expenses as saving money is a good habit according to you. You’re once again insulting him as well as pressurizing him to return you money at the earliest; on a subconscious level.

Through this advice, you’re telling him that he should reduce his expenses if needed, in order to return your money at the earliest. You see, money is once again more important for you than your brother is; and he may be smart enough to notice it. This is because you never gave him unasked advice about his business or personal expenses before he borrowed money from you. Since you’re doing it for the first time and your subconscious expressions show concern for your money as well as disrespect for him as he’s not been able to return your money on time; it may be easy for him to understand your true intentions.

Whether or not he’s able to return your money on time or at all; one thing is sure and that is the fact that your relationship with your brother may never be as healthy as it was before you offered him this financial help. Isn’t it strange that you helped him in time of need and this help brought negativity in the relationship? You may blame your brother for this negativity and you may even call him thankless; majority of this negativity has been generated by you in reality, though on subconscious level; and hence you’re the first one to be blamed for spoiling this relationship.

Kindly understand that help in its purest sense doesn’t come with expectations for return of any type and this rule becomes even more important when you’re helping a loved one. This is because the expectations for return can make you behave in negative ways and doing so can spoil your relationship, whatever such relationship may be. Hence if you can’t afford to help without expectations for return; you should reduce the quantum of such help to the extent which you can afford to forget or you should refuse to help at all.

This is what your conscience knows perfectly and that is why it may guide you well in advance that your money may not come back at all, in the worst possible case. It should be noted that in the deepest sense, any act of help initiated by you may become the cause of bringing hell to you, instead of bringing heaven to you; if such act is initiated with high expectations of return and that too at the earliest. This is because the quantum of return as well as the timing of return is primarily decided by the variables beyond your control or beyond anyone’s control for that matter and hence you should not have such expectations to start with.

As these expectations may or may not be met; they may bring heaven or hell to you. Even if they bring heaven to you; which means they bring the results expected by you as well as in the time expected by you; this is just another step towards hell. This is due to the reason that as you receive one such result; you may very likely start engaging in other acts of the same type, with same or even higher expectations. The chances of such expectations being met are low due to the outside variables but you may still choose to gamble as the previous gamble paid out for you. Even if the outside variables favor you this time also and you win; it may only encourage you to gamble one more time.

Hence you may keep doing so until the outside variables become unfavorable and this is the time you start coming across hell. It is like you bet on a particular number in a casino and you win out of luck. This encourages you to place one more bet and say you win once again, which encourages you even more. Accordingly; you may start gambling again and again; till the time you’ve lost everything or the casino is out of money. Since we don’t see casinos running out of money much often; the chances are high that you’ll end up losing everything if you keep playing.

Therefore, if you choose to play with expectations for results, you’re inviting hell in both the cases. It means if you lose in the first attempt, a smaller but quicker hell awaits you. On the other hand, if you lose after winning a number of times; the hell may come to you late but it may be a much bigger hell. This is because in the first case, you may not have lost much as you may not have had much to lose. However in the second case, you may lose a lot more than you did in the first case and this is what makes your hell bigger.

For instance, if you go to a casino; you bet Rs. 100 and you lose this bet straight away; your loss is Rs. 100 according to you. However, if you win this bet, you place another bet with the amount you’ve won, you win again and you keep doing the same until you place a bet of Rs. 1 million which have come from winnings; this is what may happen if you lose. Though in this case also, your net loss is Rs. 100, you may be completely convinced that it is Rs. 1 million. This is why your hell may come late in this case but the size of this hell may be much bigger than the size of hell in the first case.

In the first case, you may walk out of this casino with a feeling of loss which is equal to losing Rs. 100 whereas in the second case; you may walk out of this casino with a feeling of loss which is equal to losing Rs. 1 million. It should be noted that when you entered this casino; you had Rs. 100 in both these cases and hence your net loss is Rs. 100 in both these cases. Hence your hell is the same in both these cases in reality; but you may be under the illusion that this hell is much bigger in the second case. When it comes to illusions, you know that your ego is the best at the art of creating them.

It is your ego which makes you believe that as soon as you win something, it is yours. Kindly understand that in reality; this game starts when you start playing and it ends once you stop playing. Whatever happens in between is momentary and hence it should not be considered as the true or the final result. However, your ego may put black glasses on your eyes like always; and hence you may feel like losing Rs. 1 million when your actual loss is Rs. 100. It is your ego which brings smaller hell to you by luring you to gamble in order to multiply your money in the first case and it is your ego once again which brings a much bigger hell to you when seen through black glasses; by pushing you to keep playing in order to win more and more.

Your conscience on the other hand guides you that a gamble is a gamble and sooner or later; you are bound to lose it. Hence it offers you two options, both of which may be equally good though in different ways. Your conscience may tell you that you should either be prepared to lose the amount you’re willing to bet; without any regrets at all or you should not gamble at all. As you choose one of these options, your hell goes away. This is because you’re prepared to lose Rs. 100 and hence you may not be bothered if it is lost.

Kindly understand that in reality; losing money doesn’t bring hell to you and the feeling of loss against your wish or expectation is what brings hell to you. Since you’ve already gone through this feeling with complete conscious awareness before placing this bet; this loss can’t upset you now. You may lose money now but this loss may not bring hell to you because this loss is not happening against your expectation in this case and you’ve already expected it. This means you’ve consciously lived this moment of losing this money; even before placing this bet and hence this moment can’t bother you now, through repetition. Hence if you win, heaven is yours and if you lose; you don’t see hell.

Heaven and hell are created by your own mind and outside variables may only serve as media. For example, you may lose an amount of Rs. 10,000 through theft, you may spend it on your son as you may wish to do so, you may donate it to a temple as you may wish to do so, you may spend it on yourself or you may suffer a loss equal to this amount through your profession. In the deepest sense, money is lost in all the cases. However, some of these acts may bring heaven to you; whereas some of them may bring hell to you.

If parting from money is capable of bringing hell; such hell should come to you in each case but in reality; heaven may come to you if you spend it on your son or if you donate it to a temple with your own wish. This is because money is only a medium and real heaven or hell is created by your own mind. As you feel bad after losing this money through theft; hell is created inside you. On the other hand, as you spend this money on your son and you feel good; heaven is created inside you. Your money is gone in both these cases but the end result is hell in the first case and heaven in the second case; depending on how your react to this loss.

Imagine for a moment that you don’t care at all when this money is stolen and you move on with your life like nothing has happened. As you can understand, the loss of money can’t create hell within you in this case because you don’t let such hell to be created within you, by crying over this loss. In fact; losing or gaining money or anything else doesn’t have anything to do with heaven or hell to start with. It is only your interpretation of these events which creates heaven or hell within you.

Whenever you want to lose money for any reason like spending on your son; you consider it good and heaven comes to you. Similarly; when you don’t want to lose money but you do; you feel bad and hell comes to you. For instance, you don’t want to spend it on your son but you have to do it under compulsion. Hence you feel bad after giving this money to him and hell is created. You see, you spent money on your son in both these cases but heaven came to you in the first case and hell came in the second case; depending on how you interpreted the act of spending or losing money.

It is not about money or anything else for that matter, it is about your wishes or expectations in all the cases. If you wish to lose; heaven comes through such loss; If you wish not to lose but you lose, hell comes to you; and if you neither wish to lose nor not to lose; liberation comes to you. This brings us back to the desire element once again as every heaven and every hell is created by your own desires or wishes. If you create desires and they’re fulfilled, heaven comes to you whereas hell comes to you if your desires fail to materialize. Hence it is your wish or desire which brings everything to you.

It means if you want liberation; you have to stop creating desires because no desire means no heaven and no hell as they depend on desires. This state of no heaven or hell is called liberation. If you’re liberated and you are to place the bet under consideration for any reason; you’re only interested in placing this bet and nothing else. It means you feel happy merely by placing this bet and you don’t care about the result of this bet. This brings us back to Nishkaam karma which tells you to derive all your pleasure from the karma itself and not to expect anything from the results or not to expect any results to be precise.

Back to the example, if you win and Rs. 100 becomes Rs. 10,000; your conscience may present the same choice once again, which says if you can easily forget Rs. 10,000, only then you should play or you should walk out. The moment you feel you won’t be able to bear a loss of any given amount that you have at that time; you may walk out and the hell may be avoided once again. It is your ego which may keep showing you the positive extreme only and hence you may keep betting without even a thought whether or not you’ll be able to forget this loss if you lose.

Your conscience on the other hand keeps you aware about both the extremes and hence it helps you reach a balanced decision. Coming back to the example of giving money to your brother, you may choose to help your brother only with the amount you may afford to forget as soon as you give him this amount. In the deepest sense, any amount that you place on any bet is lost as soon as you place such bet and whatever may come back if it does; is your bonus. Your conscience gives you this approach and this approach helps you a lot by expanding your vision.

Some people may think what if you don’t feel comfortable with losing any amount at all when it comes to help your brother; even if you can afford to give him Rs. 1 million? This is not an option in this case and it may happen in case you’re ruled by ego and not by conscience. This is because if you have assets worth Rs. 100 million, you have a good relationship with your brother and you still can’t afford to lose Rs. 1 million or even Rs. 500 thousands for him; you’re a person ruled by ego and not a person ruled by conscience.

Ego encourages you to give priority to material possessions over people in most cases especially when the returns may not be there; whereas conscience helps you realize that people are much more important than money or belongings. Hence your ego may discourage you from helping your brother even when you can as you may have to lose money in the end; but your conscience will never do that. Your conscience will encourage you to help your brother as much as you can or as much as he needs because love comes first and money comes afterwards.

Hence you may give Rs. 1 million to your brother on his conditions and you may forget this amount as soon as you give it to him. This is because if you remember this amount, your expectations may grow and that may affect your relationship with your brother in a negative way as already explained. However if you forget this amount, you don’t get attached to it and hence you are able to enjoy the relationship with your brother in its natural form. When it comes to family dinners, you may now discuss family matters with your brother like you generally do; instead of discussing financial matters and all this may happen subconsciously; once again.

In the first case, you attached more value to money than your brother and hence your subconscious mind helped you talk about money, even at family dinners or at other such events. In this case, you attach more value to your brother than money and hence your subconscious mind helps you talk about family matters, in the most natural way. Just like the first case, your brother may clearly notice that you’re not bothered about your money at all and you value or love him much more than money. Accordingly; he may start respecting and loving you even more and he may do his best to return your money at the earliest.

After all, no brother may want to cheat on a brother who’s good enough to help him out in time of need and at the same time; who values him much more than material things like money. You see, the more you expect returns; more troubles you may invite and as soon as you forget about returns and you focus only on your karma; which is to help your brother in the best possible way in this case; the returns may come faster and they may be more in quantum.

Hence if your brother has an overall positive personality even if it is slightly positive; the chances are high that when you give him Rs. 8 million without talking about the money you gave him a year back; he may return your money at once and he may also start respecting you more. This is because he may understand that you could have deducted the amount he owes you or you could have at least talked about it while giving him Rs. 8 million. Since you did none of these things; it makes you great as he understands that you love him much more than money and this love will certainly bring back love.

With this, we reach another important conclusion; if you want to be loved truly; you have to first learn to love truly. You can only get what you can give and nothing else.

We’ll continue this discussion in the next part of this book and we’ll discuss a number of beautiful things your heart can do.

 

Lord Shiva Bless You

Himanshu Shangari

 

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Comedy relaxes through understanding and hence it needs intellect. Even the words used in the songs need intellect to be understood though not much intellect is required in this case also. This is because you generally tend to listen to the songs you like; time and time again. Your conscious effort uses your intellect in order to understand the words used in a song; only for the first few times and as you listen to this song again and again; you memorize the words used in this song. It means the words used in this song have been stored on your subconscious mind and hence you don’t have to pay conscious attention or use intellect to understand or memorize them again.

Many of you may have noticed that if you’ve listened to a song hundreds of times, all the lines used in this song keep coming to you prior to when they appear in the song. This is due to the reason that this song is stored on your subconscious mind and hence you don’t need conscious effort to understand or even remember this song as the operation has been taken over by your subconscious mind. This is why the words keep coming to you naturally before they appear in the song; because everything created by subconscious mind is natural.

This process follows three steps where the first two steps use your conscious mind and the third step uses your subconscious mind. In the first step, you only try to understand the words or lines used in a song and your conscious mind is used for this purpose. This is because your subconscious mind only deals with things that you’ve already done back in time; and things you deal with for the first time need your conscious mind because your subconscious mind doesn’t have any memory of these things. Hence you try to understand the words through your conscious mind and you need intellect as your conscious mind uses your intellect to do so, in this case.

In the second step, you try to memorize the lyrics of this song and once again, you need your conscious mind and intellect to do so. You do so by consciously listening to this song again and again; and even by singing it again and again; until you’ve memorized it perfectly, which means it has been stored on your subconscious mind and hence the job of your conscious mind is done. In the third step, whenever you listen to this song again, your subconscious mind starts working and it starts sending you the lyrics of this song in a natural way which means without effort; or to say, without conscious effort.

Let me mention once again that whatever needs the application of your conscious mind, needs effort. On the other hand, whatever needs the application of your subconscious mind doesn’t need effort and hence it seems to come naturally which means without effort. An interesting fact is that you engage in effort in case of using your subconscious mind also; but you don’t realize this effort because of two reasons. The first reason is that this effort is much smaller in comparison to the effort needed by your conscious mind. The second and more important reason is that your subconscious mind is the hidden part of your mind and accordingly, whatever it does remains hidden from you or so to say, from your conscious mind. Hence even if it puts in effort to do something, this effort is hidden and you won’t realize it. This is why you feel that the things done by your subconscious mind happen naturally which means without effort as you’re not able to feel the presence of any effort while doing such things.

This is how you understand, memorize and enjoy the lyrics of your favorite songs and even when you use intellect in the first two steps; you don’t put too much load on your intellect and you tend to relax it more, due to the nature of these exercises. Coming to the music used in songs, you need almost no intellect to understand it because music is not understood and it is felt. Since feeling something falls under your heart’s domain, you use heart and not intellect in order to enjoy music.

This is why you may find that the pieces which contain music only and no words; may prove much more soothing and relaxing. It happens because your heart is completely engaged in order to feel them and that shifts the focus of energy away from your intellect. Therefore, if you’re listening to a piece of music which has no words and you’re lying on bed while doing so; this is what is happening in reality. Since you’re not using much of the available energy for your body; it relaxes. Moving on, as your intellect is also not doing much work and at the same time, your heart may be using most of your available energy to feel this piece of music as much as it can; your subconscious mind may limit the supply of energy to your body as well as to your intellect in order to send maximum amount of energy to your heart so that it may succeed at what it is doing.

As that happens, your body and intellect feel even more relaxed because more energy means more activity and less energy means less activity which further means more relaxation. Hence the comedy shows and music relaxes your intellect. There are a number of other such activities which may do so; and hence they can be used to achieve this objective. In fact, there are specific activities intended to relax each one of these three entities and hence they can be used as and when needed.

Coming back to the topic, since the harmony or balance between these three entities has been disturbed; we’re facing more and more issues. The fact that this balance is getting disturbed more and more with passing time; only means that we as people are being controlled by our egos more and more with the passage of time. This is because the job of our conscience is to maintain this balance and as long as the conscience is present in significant quantum, it never fails to do its job. Since this job is not being done properly, it only means that the amount of conscience we have has decreased in the recent 100 years or so.

A question may arise that even if the amount or percentage of conscience has dropped, why is it necessary that the amount of ego has increased? If you remember the third part of this book, it mentions that it is possible to have less quantum of conscience or ego; even while having them in healthy percentages. Hence it is possible to have low conscience as well as low ego at the same time, like most animals have. Then why did I suggest that we’re being controlled by our egos more and more?

This is due to anther rule which has also been explained in the third part. Only your conscience and ego have the ability to use your body, intellect and heart as a team in order to achieve objectives which are much bigger than your basic needs, at any point in time. Hence if significant progress is happening on any levels, it means that either conscience or ego is present in significant strength. When it comes to materialistic development, we’ve achieved more in the recent 100 years than we may have ever achieved during any period of 100 years.

As the achievements are phenomenal; it means the people of this age either have high levels of conscience or they have high levels of ego because only these two entities are capable of creating this magic. As the harmony within us is being disturbed more and more; it simply means that conscience is not present or it is present in low quantum. Hence conscience is eliminated from this equation and what remains is ego. This is why ego is ruling us more and more in this day and age.

When it comes to harmony, not only the harmony within us is being disturbed but universal harmony has also been disturbed a lot during these 100 years or so. It is once again a strong sign that we as a community are being controlled more and more by ego and less by conscience. The first priority of conscience is to restore and maintain universal harmony and it can do so even at the cost of individual harmony. It means a person with high conscience can sacrifice himself partly or completely, in order to restore or maintain universal harmony or universal well being.

However, the opposite is happening in this day and age, as we’re trying to exploit each and everything around us, in order to witness more and more profit or comfort. This is something that ego only can do and in fact; it is the signature move of ego; to get whatever it wants; no matter how many problems it may create for other people or systems. This is what is happening today and this is what suggests that conscience is leaving us day by day and ego is taking its place. Only a species ruled by ego, which means a human; can think that if he has the power, he can exploit all the natural resources and all other species existing in nature in order to benefit more.

Unauthorized interference is the thing that conscience hates the most and it is the thing that ego loves the most. Since the incidents of unauthorized interference are growing in numbers whether it is burning more and more forests, causing more and more pollution, killing animals for money, fur or even for fun or other such incidents like the stronger country exploiting the weaker country or the stronger human exploiting the weaker human; the evidence for growth of more and more ego is obvious.

Getting back to the topic, if you listen to music or you watch comedy shows on TV, they help your mental plane relax. On the other hand, if you watch programs which are full of drama and especially the negative type of drama with rising and falling pitch; you’re not relaxing your mental plane and you’re instead causing more problems for it. Similarly, if you choose to watch crime investigation programs or you watch programs offering knowledge of some type or if you watch news on TV; you’re making things even more difficult for your mental plane, instead of giving it rest.

This is because all these programs need significant amount of mental energy to be understood and some of them need even more energy when it comes to memorize them. For instance, a program which offers any type of knowledge like a program based on planets and universe needs much more attention from your intellect and hence you end up using your intellect even more, instead of giving it rest. All the facts and information mentioned in this program need understanding as well as memorizing, which puts load on your mental plane and this is the same type of load which your mental plane may have been dealing with throughout the day.

It’s like you’re just finished with your gym routine for your legs, they’re completely fatigued and you go for mountain tracking or you go to a discotheque in order to dance, soon after this routine. As you can understand, your legs may get even more fatigued and as a result, they may even sustain injuries. This is because if you keep putting load on a muscle, even when it is duly tired and it needs rest, the chances are fair that it may sustain injury. Hence it is better to give your legs some rest after a tiring legs workout and put them back to heavy work, only when they’ve significantly recovered.

The same happens with your mental plane also and putting it under load when it needs rest can result in injuries. These injuries are caused on mental plane and accordingly, there are subtle compared to the injuries sustained by the body. Though they may only seem to result in headaches or migraines on temporary basis, a lot more damage can be done over a longer period of time. When it comes to TV news, it once again needs a lot of attention and memory as well, which means significant use of your mental plane and hence it can put more pressure on your mental plane instead of relaxing it.

Drama programs may prove the worst though they may not demand as much mental energy as news and knowledge offering programs may require. The reason they may still trouble your mental plane more is that most of these programs are filled with negativity and the characters in many of these programs engage in conspiracies, betrayals, violence and other negative acts against the other characters. Through these negative acts, these programs send negative energy to your mental plane and this energy is the opposite of the energy which can relax your mental plane.

It means this energy can not only put more pressure on your mental plane, it may even cause harm to it as this negativity may get trapped in your mental plane and it may start hitting its walls. As a result, you may feel even more restless, anxious, or troubled. It should be noted that if you’re a person with high ego, you may not have these feelings instantly and in fact you may feel like you’re enjoying such programs more than anything. This is because your ego also engages in all such things and hence it may like watching similar acts.

However, the problem may become even bigger as all this negative energy may start causing mental distortions inside you with the passage of time and hence you may suffer from mental health issues which may range from mild to very serious issues like split personality disorder or insanity. But this is not all and the problem with the mental plane is even bigger. As you lie on bed in the night and as you try to sleep; your body instantly goes to rest mode but the same may not happen with your intellect.

Your mental plane may still remain active and as long as it remains active, you can’t sleep. This is because your mental plane should come to rest in order for you to sleep or you may not be able to sleep for a long period of time; after lying on your bed in the night. All the thoughts from day’s work; all the negative energy from drama programs, all the information gained through news or from programs offering knowledge may start running within your mental plane and they may make it difficult for your mental plane to come to rest. As a result, you may find it difficult to sleep and there may be only two options for you.

The first option is the natural option and though you may not know by this time how it works, it is the time to know. In this option, your mental plane starts dealing with all the energy trapped in it and as a result, all these thoughts and facts may start running through your mental plane once again, as if they’re happening once again. It means your mental plane may start reliving all these concepts and thoughts one by one so that it may get rid of them. Yes, this is how your mental plane works.

If you give it a number of jobs, the only way for it to relax is to finish working on all those jobs and it may keep working till then; as long as its capacity doesn’t die out. Hence it may catch a thought about a character in the drama serial and it may start exploring various possibilities related to this character or this serial; as it does in general. It has already been mentioned in the third part of this book that the job of your mental plane is to break every fact, information and thought into smaller units and find possibilities. It keeps doing so until it is satisfied that it has reached the smallest possible unit or it realizes that going beyond a point is not possible for it at a time; due to the capacity it has.

Hence it may start dealing with that serial and it may not leave it until it is done with all the possibilities. It may then start dealing with something related to your profession like tomorrow’s meeting which may be important for you and that is why you put it in your mental plane; by thinking about it again and again until now. Hence it may catch the concept of tomorrow’s meeting and it may start deriving possibilities related to this meeting as well as its outcomes.

It may seem like a short sequence but in reality, even a meeting and its possible outcomes can consume a couple of hours as your mental plane may present you with a number of possibilities and it may then start processing all those possibilities. These possibilities may further give birth to a number of other possibilities and this way, your mental plane may engage in a chain reaction of thoughts, which may not seem to come to an end. This is why you may find it difficult to sleep as your mental plane may be significantly busy; which can hinder your sleep.

This may keep happening until your mental plane has run out of all the possibilities or it has reached its limit. This is when you may witness sleep but you may have put a lot of extra stress on your mental plane by then. As it may keep happening and in fact this is what is happening to majority of us in this day and age; your mental health may start going down and hence you may suffer from mental problems; which may be mild or serious; depending on all other variables which affect this equation in your case.

Looking at the unnatural option; some of us may go for sleeping pills so that they may witness sleep at the earliest. However, these pills may do a different type of damage to your mental plane and you may have to pay an even higher price for using them. These pills may forcibly stop your mental plane from working and hence you may be able to sleep. However, they may also make your intellect grow in backward direction which means they may reduce your intellectual abilities over a period of time. Apart from this, they can also have adverse affect on your memory, speech and on some other important aspects. Therefore, their use should be avoided until they become absolutely necessary in certain specific cases.

This problem of mental tension may aggravate more in case of people who have relatively bigger egos and they may end up facing even more mental issues than people with smaller egos. This is because ego means ambitions, bigger ego means bigger ambitions, bigger ambitions mean more planning and more planning means more load on the mental plane as active planning is the job done by the mental plane or intellect. This is why people with big ambitions may find it difficult to sleep because their ambitions may make it difficult for their mental planes to stop; as they may keep asking for more and more planning; even when they’re trying to sleep.

The situation may be so worse in some cases that such people may keep making plans while eating, while going to toilet, while bathing, while driving and while engaging in many other such day do day activities. As such a person keeps planning more and more; these conscious acts send a specific request to his subconscious mind that he wants to plan more and more. Accordingly, the subconscious mind may take over this operation once this request is accepted and it may start providing more and more time for planning.

As a result, this person may start planning whenever he may be doing something which doesn’t need much intellect like the activities mentioned above; and this planning may be initiated by the subconscious mind, though it may then be carried out by the conscious mind as active planning with future possibilities is the scope of conscience mind. It means when this person starts having his lunch; his subconscious mind may automatically send a thought about the pending planning for tomorrow’s project.

As he has marked this project important, his conscious mind catches this thought at once and it starts processing this thought, using more and more intellect. In a matter of no time; his conscious mind may be engaged in planning and the operation of having lunch may be transferred to the subconscious mind. Accordingly, you may observe that though this person is having lunch; he seems to be lost somewhere else and the food is going into his mouth by some automatic procedure.

This is because his conscious mind is engaged in planning which means it is present at the venue where this project is to take place and accordingly; it is absent from the place where his body is having lunch. His body is having lunch with the help of his subconscious mind and as the acts of subconscious minds are hidden, so are its imprints. It means all the activities carried out by your subconscious mind don’t require your active or conscious attention and hence your conscious mind doesn’t have to be there in order to carry out these activities.

As your mental presence is marked only when you’re consciously attending to something, the other person may find you physically present but mentally absent in all these activities. Hence if you watch this person having his lunch; you’ll find him lost somewhere else which is in fact true because his conscious mind is visiting the venue of his project. You see, how your subconscious mind may even encourage you to start planning?

This keeps happening throughout the day and you keep planning while engaging in all the activities which don’t require the use of your intellect; which means such activities don’t require your conscious attention or presence. It may look fine till here though it is not; but the problem starts after this. As you lie on your bed to sleep; you’re once again trying to engage in an activity which doesn’t need the application of your conscious mind or intellect; which means this time is also a free time and it can be used for planning.

Accordingly; your subconscious mind may send you a thought related to some type of planning which may be pending; and as your conscious mind has developed a habit of catching such thoughts given by your subconscious mind and then processing them; it may start planning. One thought may lead to the other and a chain reaction may start once again. Before you realize; 30 minutes may have passed by the time you’re finished with all the aspects related to this planning.

As it happens, you may realize that you shouldn’t engage in planning at this time as it is the time to sleep. Hence you may convince yourself and you may try to disengage from any types of thoughts. However, as you try to relax; your subconscious mind may once again send a fresh thought related to another planning which is pending. Acting upon the habit, your conscious mind may once again engage in the thought process and another 15 or 20 minutes may be gone by the time you’re finished with this series of thoughts.

Your conscious mind may start getting irritated by now and it may seriously want to rest. However, your subconscious mind may once again send a thought related to another ambitious plan and your ego may force your conscious mind to process it; as a lot may change if this plan comes through. This may keep happening until your mental plane has reached its limit and it is in no position to work any longer, without taking rest. Hence it may collapse and you may witness sleep though a couple of hours may have passed or so to say; they may have been wasted by then.

As you have to wake up early in the morning in order to go to your job on time; the amount of rest you give your mental plane may not be sufficient for it to recover completely. Accordingly; it may witness injuries when you start putting load on it from early in the next morning, as it may be still tired. Such mental injuries may appear as headaches, migraines, anxiety, restlessness and other such things in the short run and they may appear as much bigger mental problems in the long run.

This is what many of us are doing in routine and this is why we’re heading towards more and more health issues related to body, intellect and heart as we’re disturbing the harmony between them. Going back to the topic of conscience, it is the job of your conscience to maintain harmony between these entities and it does this job well, if it is present in significant quantum. Hence it may stop your intellect form playing video game so that your body may have the food it requires.

Taking a look at another example, suppose you like a particular food item and you tend to eat it a lot whenever you get the chance, which may often cause problems later on. In this case, your heart is interfering with your body and the harmony is being disturbed by your heart. This is because all types of feelings and emotions are dealt with by your emotional plane and hence it is your emotional plane which likes this food item.

Accordingly, it pushes your body to eat more and more of this item though doing so may cause discomfort for your body; later on. However, your heart may not care for such discomfort and it may keep pushing your body which may act under pressure if your emotional plane is stronger than your mental plane. This is because it is the job of your intellect to issue warnings based on calculations, numbers, analysis and data. As your intellect has data related to discomfort caused by the excessive use of this food item in the past; it may keep issuing warnings which may be ignored if your emotional plane is stronger than your intellectual plane.

Himanshu Shangari

 

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This is what should be done by us also, if we’re to become better as human beings. If someone helps you from his heart; you should also help him from heart and not from intellect. It means if a poor friend tries to help you as much as he can; you also need to do the same. For instance, if he offers you Rs. 500 in times of need as this is the maximum he can offer though you may not accept it as it may be nothing compared to the quantum of financial problem you may  be facing; this is what you should do. When he’s in need, you should also offer the maximum you can or the maximum he needs if the latter is less than the former.

For instance, if you can offer him Rs. 1 million but he only needs Rs. 10,000 to get out of his problem; Rs. 1 million is your maximum at this time and Rs. 10,000 is the maximum he needs. Hence you should offer him at least Rs. 10,000 in order to call your offer of help fair. If you choose to offer Rs. 1000 instead; your intellect may tell you that you’re offering twice the amount of help he offered; it is not so in reality. This is because friendship in its purest sense is not ruled by intellect and it is ruled by heart. Hence if you’re making decisions through your intellect in the domain of friendship or any type of love relationship for that matter, there’s no relationship to start with.

Back to the example, if you set your house on fire in order to burn your neighbor’s house also, you’re doing it because you know he loves his house a lot and losing his house will hurt him with the same or even with more quantum than he hurt you with. As a result, all you care for is that the neighbor should feel the same pain as you felt and the material price you pay for causing him this pain doesn’t matter at all. As you’re a person dominated by heart, it should be easy to understand that the financial losses occurred by burning your own house don’t matter for you.

Going back to the property division, you may ask your brother to apologize for the wrongs done by him to you and your next action may depend on his reaction. If he apologizes due to any reasons and if your heart is satisfied, which means your ego is satisfied as it is your ego which is controlling your heart at this time; with the way he feels sorry; you may agree to this division and you may not care about the numbers. It means that if your brother apologizes in a humble way and your ego is satisfied; you may offer him a 50-50 deal or you may even give him the entire property, depending on your financial status and on your exact personality type at that time.

It means if you’re super rich and your brother has satisfied your ego through your heart, you may even give him the entire property. However, if you don’t have the financial luxury of losing your share in this property, you may still give him something extra, like a deal of 50-50. The reason you may do so is that you’re an emotionally dominated person and accordingly, feelings or emotional satisfaction is the most important thing for you.

It should be noted that an emotional ego type of person may value nothing more than emotional supremacy and he may not assign much value to money or wealth; compared to authority. Though he may have a lot of money and wealth; he may not love them much and he may instead use them as weapons to satisfy his ego on emotional level. Hence he can help a number of people if they bow to him and if they agree to whatever he says. As long as they can bow to him, agree to him and apologize whenever he wishes them to do so; he may keep giving them favors. If one such person enters politics; his primary objective may be to gain authority and not to make money through politics, though he may make money in order to purchase more authority. Hence he may spend a lot of money in order to gain authority.

On the other hand, an intellectual ego type of person may value nothing more than money and wealth; and hence his behavior may be a lot different. Money or wealth means power for him; power means security and security is an important concern for intellect as well as for ego. Therefore, you can’t fool him through flattery and other such things as in the first case; and you need a different approach. The people he may like the most are the ones who can suggest him some plans for gaining more wealth or who can come up with offers which look profitable. It means this person may only understand the language of money and he may not care much for anything else. Hence he may care to attend to you; only if he sees some profit through you.

If one such person enters politics; his primary objective may be to make more and more money through authority and the authority itself becomes secondary. This is the type which is found the most in politics now-a-days and this is why more and more corruption is ruling politics. Emotional ego type politicians primarily engage in acts of display of power and authority when they achieve such authority; and they may not want to make huge amounts of money through politics. As long as they have sufficient to purchase authority in future and they’re able to impress people with their authority, they’re satisfied. Hence they may show off more but they may engage less in financial corruption.

On the other hand, intellectual ego type politicians focus on earning more and more money; and the word sufficient doesn’t exist in their dictionary; when it comes to make money through authority. Accordingly; they’re the ones who may engage in acts of financial corruption; more than any other type. They’re generally not interested in showing off their authority and the authority they have is only a tool to make more and more money and wealth for them. Since politics is a field ruled by intellect and not by emotions; the number of politicians of this type is much more than the number of politicians of any other type; throughout the world. It means that financial corruption may almost never be eliminated from politics and history is the witness to this fact. It looks sad as well as hopeless; but this is how it is.

Going back to the example of property division, since you’re an emotional ego type, authority is more valuable than money for you. As your subconscious mind has a perfect record of this top priority of yours, it may make you give him more even if you don’t think much about it, in order to help you out.

As a result, you may deliver a decision to give him more than he intellectually deserves; and this decision may come without any conscious thoughts or feelings because it may be given by your subconscious mind. The reason for this extra value given to your brother is that this extra financial value is delivered with a hidden or to say a subconscious message that as long as your brother takes care of your emotional needs, he’ll keep benefitting in terms of material things, in future also.

Isn’t it amazing how deep your subconscious mind can go even though you may not be aware of it at all? Let’s analyze this act in details. Sooner or later, your brother will realize that you don’t care about the percentages or money to start with and all you care for is emotional satisfaction. This is because he realizes that as soon as he satisfied you emotionally, you gave him more than he deserved; as per his intellect. This gives him a strong hint for future that all he needs to do in order to have a good equation with you or even in order to get benefits from you is to take care of your emotions.

Accordingly, he may publically start showing more respect for you, he may start paying more attention to your emotional needs and he may start doing many other such things which give you the types of feelings that your ego wants through your heart. In return, you may start offering him more and more things holding material value; as he may be an intellectual type and you know that these things matter to him the most. Hence a silent understanding may be reached through which, your brother gives you emotional comfort and you give him financial comfort or so to say intellectual comfort in return.

An onlooker may think your brother is exploiting you as he is the one who’s benefitting in terms of material things; but this is not how you may think. The equation is fairly balanced according to you because he gives you what you like and you give him what he likes. The end result of both these types of acts is a feeling of satisfaction and hence they’re balanced. He gives you satisfaction the way you want and you give him satisfaction the way he wants; and this is what is fair according to your heart. Hence even if a number of people keep telling you that your brother is exploiting you financially; you may not pay attention at all; as you know the equation is fairly balanced.

Coming to the second possibility of division when you’re an emotional type with high ego; if your brother refuses to apologize for any reasons which may even be justified according to him; you may refuse to settle. This is because you know he attaches same value to material things that you attach to emotions and hence you may want to make him feel the same pain that he caused you, if he refuses to apologize. The division may go to the court and it may be kept pending for many years, causing your brother more and more pain as he may want to get his share at the earliest and so the delay disturbs him. You may even intentionally delay the proceedings by manipulating certain aspects of this case, as you know that such delay will cause even more pain to your brother.

You see, how the definition of the word ‘fair’ may be different for your body, intellect, heart and ego. Your body defines ‘fair’ as returning the same amount of physical pleasure or pain that someone gives you, provided it is not controlled by your ego, in which case it gets corrupted. Your intellect defines ‘fair’ as a returning a rational amount of profit or loss based on calculations, to the person who gives you such profit or loss; unless it is corrupted by your ego. Your heart defines ‘fair’ as returning the same type of feeling that someone gives you, provided it is not corrupted by your ego.

When it comes to your ego, it defines ‘fair’ as whatever satisfies it and it finds the use of any method fair, in order to achieve its objective. Since your ego is dependent on your body, intellect and heart for practically applying its actions, it may use one or more than one of them in order to get what it wants. Hence if it corrupts your body, you may beat your brother up in the already mentioned example. If it controls your intellect, you may try to give your brother less than he deserves, as your intellect is all about the numbers. If your ego controls your heart, you may either want your brother to emotionally pay for his wrong doings by apologizing or you may make him feel the same pain that you’re feeling.

It should be noted that even if you choose to give him more when he apologizes, this is an act of ego and it is not an act of uncorrupted heart. This is because all you want in this case is to see your brother in pain and when it comes to pain, there’s no pain as strong as the pain caused by a forced apology; provided you have significant amount of ego. Hence the intent is to cause him the same amount of pain on instant basis rather than doing so through court case which takes much longer. You see, an instant apology is a better remedy found by your corrupted heart because it serves the purpose at the earliest.

Your heart is only interested in causing him pain and it doesn’t care how this pain is caused. Whether it is caused through apology or through court case is all the same to your heart. In fact, the former is even better than the latter. This is due to the reason that if such pain is caused through apology, your supremacy is accepted which is an added bonus whereas if such pain is caused through court case, your supremacy is not accepted though your brother may feel the same amount of pain in this case also. This is why emotionally dominated people with high egos may always present apology as an option for many disputes; as it makes them feel in command. You see, how the interplay of all these entities can complicate the personality of a person, depending on which of them dominates and which of them controls him at a time.

It is the time to look at the conscience now. Conscience is also an application like the ego and hence it also depends on your physical body, intellect and heart in order to get certain things done. However, your conscience is a different type of application and in fact; it is almost the opposite of the ego. If the ego is a virus which controls the functions of all the three entities already mentioned, your conscience offers an antivirus as a part of its application. It means as your conscience grows, it starts fighting with your ego and it starts stopping your ego from corrupting your body, intellect and heart.

Accordingly, the more your conscience grows the freer you may feel from your ego and the expressions of all three entities may become free from any corruption, which means they may start exhibiting in their natural states. However, this is not the only thing your conscience does and this application comes with other features also. Your conscience also works like a booster and it can enhance the performance of your body, heart and intellect. As your conscience grows beyond a point; it can unleash such powers hidden inside your body; intellect and heart; which can help them connect to such entities from other worlds; which have greater or much greater powers and abilities compared to a human. We’ll discuss this topic in details, later on.

The basic job of your conscience is to keep these three entities free from any types of corruptions as well as from any types of pressures or interferences. In addition to this, it is the job of your conscience to make sure that these three entities work as a team and they co-operate with each other, as and when required.

Though ego can corrupt or control these entities and cause problems; these entities on their own can also interfere with each other at times and this is where your conscience comes handy. For instance, if you’re playing a video game and your intellect is taking great pleasure in this video game, supposing it is a video game that requires a lot of intellectual abilities; this is what may happen in the absence of conscience. You may get so involved in this video game that you may keep ignoring the signals from your body that it needs food or it wants to excrete water as the bladder may be full.

Most of you may have noticed that while playing those interesting video games, the food, the need to go to toilet and many other such things may have been delayed; and sometimes, delayed a lot. When this happens, it means your intellect is interfering with the affairs of your body because your body needs to engage in certain activities and your intellect is stopping it from doing so. This can happen as long as your conscience has not grown beyond a certain level and this can even enhance if you have high ego.

However, as your conscience reaches a healthy level, it stops your intellect from interfering with the needs of your body and hence it guides your intellect to stop playing this video game, have your meal or go to toilet; then come back and play again. Your conscience has got nothing against your intellect or against any other entity for that matter and all it wants is for all these entities to work in harmony. Hence it makes sure that your intellect doesn’t trouble your body in order to get what it wants.

It should be noted that maintaining harmony between these entities means stopping an entity from forcing another entity to do or not to do something that becomes necessary for it; and the word necessary is the key here. For instance, if your body is genuinely in need of food, this function becomes necessary as it needs energy in order to carry out its operations in a smooth way. As your intellect stops your body from doing so in order to get what it wants, say for a period of 30 to 60 minutes or even longer; your intellect forces your body to make unnecessary compromises.

Looking at the situation of your intellect; the act it is engaging in is relatively less important than the act your body wants to engage in; and hence your body should be given priority. This is because playing video games ranks low in priority when compared to the need of your body for food as the need of your body in this case is necessity whereas the need of your intellect is luxury. As it is easy to understand; necessity should never be compromised at the cost of luxury; hence your conscience stops your intellect in this case, in order to maintain harmony.

Another fact worth mentioning is that most of such video games come with a pause feature or they offer you to save your progress at check points which may appear every 2 to 4 minutes. Hence you have the luxury to put your video game on pause and resume it after having your meal; without much trouble. On the other hand, the need for food and the need to urinate don’t come with a pause feature. Though you can certainly abstain from doing these things for an hour or two; such delay is not natural and you’re forcing it. This means that your body is not co-operating and you’re forcing it to adjust; which is where harmony gets disturbed.

The word harmony in this context means that whatever your conscience finds worthy of doing at any stage; all three entities should agree to it. Taking the present case, your conscience knows that if such force is used on your body, this will disturb harmony as your body may start suffering. Though such suffering may be on small scale and you may not even notice it in the short run, the consequences are bound to appear in the long run. This is something that your intellect may not know or care for; but your conscience knows and cares for. This is why it may stop your intellect to force unnecessary things on your body in order to maintain harmony.

Have you ever wondered why people in general are physically or even mentally not as healthy as they used to be in old times? The root cause of this problem is disturbance of harmony within us. In the recent times; more and more priority has been given to the intellect and in order to do so; the body and the heart have been ignored, which has resulted in disturbance of harmony. There are no doubts that when it comes to intellectual domain; we’ve seen the kind of progress which may certainly be much more in quantum as well as in pace; compared to the progress made during any other ages in the same amount of time; but this progress has come at high price.

As the needs of physical body have been ignored and is it has been forced to make unnecessary compromises; it has suffered in the long run and hence; the physical health factor has significantly dropped. This is why in order to balance this factor; many types of physical exercises and special types of diets have been introduced in the recent times. Though they have certainly helped; but only to an extent and even they’ve failed to restore that natural harmony of body, intellect and heart that we used to have, as the force factor continues to exist.

Looking at the other end of this problem, we have not only invited a number of physical problems by ignoring the body, we have also invited a number of mental problems by putting too much load on the intellect. This is why a number of mental health issues have also appeared over these years and this is what happens when harmony is disturbed. The body is suffering because it is being forced to make compromises whereas the mental health is suffering because the intellect is being used beyond healthy levels.

This is why the word balance is the most important word. The word balance in this context can be considered equal to harmony and both these words may be considered similar to but not equal to the word conscience. This is because the conscience tries to restore harmony or balance and hence it becomes equal to these words most of the time; but it can compromise the balance between these three entities at times; where the need to restore balance rises in fields much bigger than you.

Though your conscience may still be engaging in the act of restoring balance, such balance may be universal or collective and in order to restore such balance, the balance of these three entities within you may be disturbed. This is how your conscience works. It knows perfectly at every time; which one of a given number of things is the most important, which one comes second and so on; and it’ll always do them in the order of priority. We’ll discuss this topic in details, later on.

Coming to the mental health issues, it should be understood that the word harmony or balance is the key here. Using any of these three entities below a healthy level can cause problems and using any of these entities much above healthy levels can also cause problems. This is because when you use your body below a required level or you force it to make compromises beyond a healthy level; it starts deteriorating. Similarly, when you use your intellect beyond a healthy level; you don’t give it sufficient time to expand and relax; and hence you may invite mental health issues.

It should be noted that all these entities need time to refresh and grow; and this rule must be remembered in order to maintain harmony. For example, it is not when you go to gym and engage in hard exercises that your body grows; it is when you take rest that it grows. By engaging in such exercises; you’re only giving demand to your body that you need more strength or muscle and you’re doing nothing more than that.

However when you take rest; it is only then that your system takes care of this request and it works in order to grow more muscle and strength so that you may have it the next time you want to do those exercises. This is how it happens and this is what you should understand. If you choose to go against this rule; you may disturb the balance and you may end up suffering instead of benefitting. For instance, if you try to engage in gym exercises for 8 hours every day and you sleep for 4 hours only or even less; you’re certainly going to land in trouble because you’re putting so much load on your body and you’re not giving it sufficient rest to gain more strength or even to recover; in order to be able to handle this load, the next time.

Hence your gym trainer may suggest you to exercise for an hour or two at the most at beginner or even at intermediate level; and that also for five days or at the most six days a week and not more than that. This is because they know that if proper rest is not given to your body, you may suffer in the long run; though you may see some benefits in the short run.

The same happens to your intellect also. When you keep using it a lot; without giving it sufficient rest; it starts suffering. The fact which makes it even more complicated is that it is much more difficult to rest you intellect compared to your body. It means all you need in order to rest your body is to lie down or assume any other posture of resting your body, though you may be doing anything like watching TV. Even when you watch TV, your body starts relaxing and by the time you’ve watched it for 30 minutes, your body may be relatively relaxed and ready to work again.

However, this is not the case with your intellect; as it needs different type of rest. The fatigue of your body is physical and hence it needs physical rest whereas the fatigue of your intellect is mental and hence it needs mental rest. Therefore, you need to stop engaging your intellect in any type of mental activity at all; in order to give it proper rest; just like you need to stop your body from engaging in any type of physical activity, in order to rest it.

This is why you can relax your body while lying on couch and watching TV but you may not be able to relax your intellect this way. In fact, you may end up making the situation even worse than it was at the beginning of this act. This is because the TV program you are watching may require the application of a lot of intellect; and hence it puts even more pressure on your mental plane, instead of relaxing it. In this case, your body is resting but your intellect is working and accordingly; your body will relax and your intellect may get even more tired.

However, this is not a big problem and it can be fixed easily. All you need to do is to start watching such programs which require minimum amount of intellect or which require the application of heart instead. For instance, watching all those foolish type comedy shows or listening to soothing music can relax your mental plane also. This is because the music is dealt with by your heart and hence your intellect is put to rest. The comedy shows do need some intellect in order to be understood properly; but the application of your intellect is the opposite type in this case and hence these programs help it relax.

If you go to gym, you may remember that after doing all those heavy exercises for a particular muscle group, certain stretching exercises for the same muscle group are recommended. As a general rule; these exercise should put more pressure on that muscle group and accordingly; it should feel even more tired; the opposite happens and your muscle is relaxed. This is because all other exercises are intentionally meant to put pressure on this muscle group in order to put demand for growth; this last exercise is aimed at releasing some of that pressure.

It should be noted that the demand for extra muscle has already been given through those exercises and hence you don’t need to carry this tension in your muscle any longer. Accordingly; some physical movements which aim at releasing the pressure instead of building it are advised. When you do these stretching exercises, you may feel that the tension from that particular muscle group has reduced. Hence specific types of physical exercises are done in order to relieve specific types of physical tensions. This is why you may find most sportsmen engaging in stretching exercises before they start playing. They do so to remove unwanted tension from their muscles. Though these exercises are physical in nature, they don’t cause tension in muscles and they remove the already existing tension.

The same happens in case of your mental plane or intellect also. The kind of effort it does when you’re watching comedy shows is the opposite of what it does in general and hence this effort serves as stretching exercise for your intellect. It should be noted that even in order to watch and understand comedy shows as well as in order to laugh; you need the application of intellect and you can’t do this without intellect. This is because comedy is created either through situations or through words and you have to understand the meaning behind those situations and words, in order to be able to enjoy it.

As soon as the word ‘understand’ comes to picture, intellect also comes with it. In general, the comedy shows which feature comedy through situations, which means they try to make you laugh through visuals; need less amount of intellect. This happens because the visuals are generally self explanatory and they don’t have hidden meanings. On the other hand, words can have hidden meanings and in fact; some comedy shows may be entirely based on the theme of creating laughter through words with hidden meanings. These are the comedy shows which require more intellect compared to some other shows which deal with graphics or with relatively simple words or sentences.

However, even in case of comedy shows which require more intellect, the application of intellect is in a different direction and hence such exercises of your intellect help you relax. In addition to this, as and when you laugh while watching these shows; laughter creates that special effect of relaxing your mental plane in its own way. This is why watching comedy shows can help you.

When it comes to music, you may need intellect in order to pay attention to the words being said in a song, but the amount of intellect used is not much. The music in the song needs almost no amount of intellect as there’s nothing to understand in music and in fact, you can’t understand a thing about music, even if you use all your intellect. Music can only be felt and it can’t be understood. It means though you can understand what instruments can be used to create music and how those instruments can be used; you can’t first understand music and then enjoy it, like you do in case of comedy shows; as music is felt through heart.

Himanshu Shangari

 

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The Heart and Emotions

We’ve come to the third plane which is called the emotional plane. This plane deals with heart and through heart, it deals with a wide variety of emotions that heart may generate. It is only due to the existence of this plane within us that some of the most meaningful words like beauty, love, joy, happiness and other such words have a place in the dictionary of every language, as well as in our lives. However, the relevance as well as the presence of these words or emotions may differ in percentage, in case of different people; depending on the strength of their emotional planes.

Looking at the word ‘Beauty’, we’ll simply not be able to feel any type of beauty and hence we won’t need this word in our dictionaries, if we don’t have emotional plane. This is because, though the intellect deals with information, facts, logics, calculations, analysis and conclusions; it doesn’t deal with feelings. Hence when it comes to beauty, only your heart can feel it and your intellect is absolutely incapable of feeling the beauty of anything as it can’t feel anything to start with. All the feelings and emotions are dealt with by the emotional plane through your heart and this is why heart is considered as the most important entity within you, by the people who deal in emotions.

It should be noted that among the important entities within you, like intellect, heart, ego and conscience; only your heart and intellect have the ability to act independently and all other entities need help from one or both of these entities in order to carry out their operations. This means that your intellect can do all the calculations on its own and it doesn’t need help from the other entities. Similarly, your heart can generate all types of feelings and emotions on its own and it also doesn’t need help from the other entities.

However, when it comes to your ego and conscience, they don’t have the ability to do anything directly and both of them depend on your intellect as well as on your heart; in order to carry out their operations. Though your conscience can do certain things on its own; it still needs one of these entities to give expressions to those things, in most cases. Moving ahead, when it comes to your ego, it can’t calculate anything on its own like your intellect and it can’t feel anything on its own like your heart. Your ego is more like an application which can control both your intellect as well as your heart and hence it can get what it wants through them.

For example, your ego can’t make any calculations or analysis like your intellect does but it can control or possess your intellect and tell it how to make calculations in different situations. It means that the calculations may still be done by your intellect in all types of situations, but the nature of such calculations can be imposed on your intellect, by your ego. For instance, when you try to settle a property division with your brother, your ego may control your intellect and it may tell it to use its abilities in a way that you or so to say your ego gets as much as it can, through this division.

You can consider the ego like a virus which corrupts the system it possesses and hence such system can’t work in its natural way. The moment the ego possesses this system which is your entire existence; it starts operating this system; in any way it wants. The ego can possess your body, intellect and heart; and through them, it can control each and every activity which needs one or more of these entities. The entities that ego can’t control or possess are your conscience and your soul and hence they always remain pure.

It should be noted that your soul can neither be controlled nor damaged in any way by your ego. However when it comes to your conscience, it can’t be controlled or possessed by your ego, but it can suffer damages through the hands of your ego. It means as your ego becomes stronger, it reduces the percentage and quantum of conscience you have as these two entities are in constant war within your existence and they try to damage each other as much as they can. We’ll discuss this topic in detail, later on.

When it comes to your conscience, it is also dependant on your intellect and heart to get things done through them, like your ego. Your conscience can also control your body, intellect and heart just like your ego can; though your conscience does so to improve the performance of your system and not in order to gain benefits through it, as we’ll discover later on. Hence your ego and conscience need your intellect, heart and even your body in order to get a number of things done, in most cases.

In order to understand this concept in a better way, imagine a property was purchased jointly by you and your younger brother, though the percentages of investments made by each one of you may be different. Let’s suppose you made an investment of 60% and your brother made an investment of 40% in this property, many years back. Now for some reasons, a division of this property is under consideration. Let’s suppose you’re a person ruled by ego and your basic type is intellectual type. It means you’re an intellectual person having high ego. In this case, your ego may control your intellect and it may tell your intellect to find out a way which may bring maximum profit to you through this division.

It should be noted that if there is no ego and only your intellect is doing this calculation; the matter may be decided in a very practical and intellectual way. Your intellect may simply let your brother know that the property should be divided in the ratio of 60% to 40% as investments were also made in the same ratio. Hence it looks like a practical solution based on fair calculations. This is what your intellect does when it is exhibiting in its independent state and it is not being controlled by any other entity like ego or conscience.

However, as your ego controls your intellect, the way it operates changes. This is because your ego doesn’t care about what is practical or fair, and all it cares for is to get more and more; and to possess more and more. The only objective of your ego is to gain advantage over everyone and everything; and it is not concerned with the ways through which such advantages may be gained. This is why your ego may often land you in troubles because it controls and misuses the abilities of your intellect, heart and even those of your body in order to satisfy itself and such misuse often brings problems to you; according to the law of karma.

Hence your intellect controlled by your ego may start finding ways to get as much as it can from this property division and it is not concerned about what is practical or fair. It should be noted that the definition of fair is different for all four of these entities and they don’t have a common definition of what is fair. In fact, these four entities called intellect, heart, ego and conscience may have different definitions for most words and this is what makes us very complex in nature as we have a number of definitions for every word or situation; as all these entities lie within us.

When operating independently, your intellect defines ‘fair’ as the resultant of unbiased calculations done in a particular case. Since we’re living in intellectual world and most of the laws as well as other systems have been designed with the help of intellect, the definition of fair for intellect may be the prevalent definition of fair in most cases. This is because the intellect has delivered this definition for different situations and hence it may reach the same definition when put under similar conditions; unless controlled by another entity.

The definition of ‘fair’ in case of your ego is something that brings you maximum gains; thereby bringing it maximum satisfaction. As a result, the definition of fair according to the ego may look biased and unfair according to prevalent norms; as such norms have been set up by uncorrupted intellect, in most cases. Coming to your heart, it may define the word fair in an altogether different way, depending on what it feels like at that moment.

For instance, if you’re a heart dominated person; your heart is not controlled by your ego and it is inclined towards your brother; you may ask your brother to decide this settlement in whichever way he wants. As a result, even if your brother divides this property in the ratio of 50-50 which is unfair according to your intellect, your heart may happily accept it and it may even consider this division fair. When it comes to your heart, a deal of 50-50 may be equal to a deal of 60-40 or even to a deal of 0-100. This is why the word fair rings different bells to your heart.

However, if your heart is controlled by your ego, it only means that your heart will be misused. Accordingly, your heart may be pushed by your ego to define the word fair in a way that the latter may receive satisfaction from the division. You should know that love is the natural emotion of your heart and hate is introduced by your ego. Therefore, as long as your heart remains unaffected by your ego; you are able to love purely. On the other hand, as your ego starts controlling your heart, the ratio of hate in your heart and the ratio of control in your overall personality may start increasing. Hence, if your ego controls your heart in this case, a different type of meaning for the word fair may be found.

An interesting thing to note is that though your ego can control your body, intellect and your heart; and their natural expressions may get distorted due to the corruptions introduced by your ego; the results will be different in the same situation; depending on your personality type. It means that though your ego can control these entities, your overall personality type is still decided by the plane which is the most developed. For instance, if your emotional plane is the most developed one; your natural expressions in most situations may come from the heart and not from the body or intellect; if the ego doesn’t corrupt these entities.

If your ego controls these entities, your natural expressions may still come from your heart as it is the strongest among all three entities; though these natural emotional expressions will be corrupted by your ego. Hence if you’re an emotionally dominated person with high ego; your natural response in most situations is an emotional response controlled by ego. As already explained, the ego doesn’t have an independent system of its own and it operates through these three entities. Accordingly, it can’t make you express yourself intellectually in most situations; if you don’t have much intellect to start with. It means your ego can get things done through your intellect, heart or body but it can’t change the strength of these entities; especially in the short run.

Since the ego loves the best thing among a number of things; it may control the strongest one among these entities in order to get things done. Hence if you’re an intellectual type which means your mental plane is the strongest among the three planes; your ego loves your intellect much more than your body and heart. Accordingly; most of your actions and reactions may be intellectual ego type, which means intellectual actions corrupted by ego. On the other hand, if your emotional plane is the strongest one; your ego loves your heart the most and hence most of your actions will be emotional ego type; which means corrupted emotional actions; as we’ll find out soon.

Similarly, if your physical plane is the strongest one; your ego loves your body the most and hence most of your actions may be physical ego type, which means corrupted physical actions. Therefore, your physical body may be corrupted or misused the most by your ego in this case; as it is the most dominant among all three entities and accordingly; it is more likely to give an outward expression to what your ego wants.

If this is the case, your body may be misused by your ego which means you may have a disagreement with your brother and you may engage in a physical fight with him. You don’t care about fair division and all you care for is to beat him up, if he doesn’t settle the way you want. This is because your ego is controlling your actions and your body is the weapon for your ego in this case. As a result, your ego uses this weapon against your brother and hence you may beat your brother up.

Moving to the second possibility, if you’re an intellectual type with high ego; your ego may control your intellect and hence it may be used as a weapon. As your intellect deals with calculations and analysis; the final expression may be to profit as much as you can, through the application of your intellect. Accordingly, you may try to use your intellect to twist some facts related to this division in a way that you end up having as much share as you can.

In the third case, if you’re an emotional type with high ego; your ego may control your heart and hence it may be used as a weapon. As your heart deals with feelings and experiences on the most subtle level; the final expression may be to hurt your brother as much as you can through the application of your heart, if he doesn’t agree to do what you want him to do. Since your heart is corrupted in this case; it operates on the principal of hate instead of operating on its natural principal; which is the principal of love.

As a result, your heart may not be interested in any settlement at all or it may be interested in a different type of settlement; both of them leading to problems for your brother; depending on your exact personality type. For instance, during this meeting for division; you may bring up a number of emotional grudges from the past; against your brother and you may ask him to apologize for the wrongs done by him to you; before you may consider this division. It should be noted that since you have high ego, many of these grudges may not be justified or fair to start with. However, as you already understand by this time, the definition of fair is different for your ego.

Since the heart works in the most unpredictable ways among all these entities; the results may be surprising in this case; when seen through the eyes of intellect. For instance; your heart controlled by your ego may tell your brother that as long as he doesn’t apologize for hurting him in the past, there’ll be no division. Even if the property is shut down under dispute and the matter goes to the court for many years; your corrupted heart may not care and instead; it may feel happy. This is because all it wants is to hurt your brother if he doesn’t bow to your supremacy and apologizes; and in order to hurt him; you may also keep hurting yourself; as much as is needed and for as long as it takes.

It is like you hate the neighbor a lot and in order to trouble him; you set your own house on fire in a way that his house should also catch fire. If this is the case, your corrupted heart may fill with joy when your house as well as the house of your neighbor burn together. This is because the only thing you want is to make your neighbor suffer and you don’t care what price you may have to pay for it. As already mentioned in the third part of this book; the heart doesn’t know the language of price to start with and hence the question of profit and loss doesn’t rise in the first place.

All your heart feels is that your neighbor has hurt it, though in reality; he has hurt your ego and it is your ego which is controlling your heart and telling it that the neighbor has hurt it. Accordingly, your heart feels this pain and the only way it knows to balance this pain out is to make him feel similar amount of pain. Since money, assets, costs and material value of things are dealt with by your intellect and your heart has got nothing to do with them; any price it pays to hurt this neighbor is immaterial. It means that for your heart; a loss of Rs. 1 Million is equal to a loss of Rs. 1 Billion is equal to a loss of Rs. 100 is equal to a loss of Rs. 1 is equal to no loss at all.

It may sound surprising to many of you but this is how your heart operates. The reason it may sound strange to you is that the prevalent definitions of profit and loss have been established by the intellect which means by the intellectual type of people and they have not been finalized by the emotional type of people. In the language of the heart, only feelings matter and the cost or price doesn’t matter. Hence if you’re an emotional type of person and a friend helped you some time back by giving you Rs. 50,000 and that brought you out of trouble, this is how you may repay him when he’s in need; provided your heart is not corrupted by your ego.

If you have sufficient resources, you may even help him out with Rs. 5 million if this is what is required to get him out of trouble. The best part is that at the most; you may only feel that the equation of help is balanced and nothing more than that. I know many of you may be surprised as to how can Rs. 50,000 equal Rs. 5 million? However, if you’re surprised, it is only because you’re using your intellect to analyze this equation of help. Accordingly, Rs. 50,000 will never be equal to Rs. 5 million because your intellect deals with numbers and these two numbers are obviously not the same.

When it comes to your heart, it doesn’t deal with numbers and it only deals with feelings. Hence the way your heart sees this equation is that you were in trouble once, this friend helped you as much as it was needed to get you out of that problem, you got out of your problem only because of his help and you felt completely relieved. Kindly pay attention to two words only; as they may be the only words your heart may care for. The first word is help and the second is the phrase ‘completely relieved’. Therefore, the fair definition of help for your heart in this case is to help your friend as much as is needed to get him out of his problem so that he may feel completely relieved, just like you did.

Hence your heart equates feelings with feelings and not numbers with numbers. A feeling of help must be balanced with a feeling of help and a feeling of complete relief must be returned with a feeling of complete relief. Whether you spend Rs. 50,000, Rs. 5 million or even Rs. 5 billion is immaterial for your heart because it doesn’t deal in numbers and it instead deals in feelings and emotions. Accordingly, your intellect may see this act as an act of help which is much more in quantum than the quantum of help offered by your friend; your heart may see it equal in quantum because the end result in both the cases is the same feeling of complete relief.

It is interesting to note that even if your friend needs Rs. 5000 only to get out of his problem; your heart may do the same calculations. It means you may give him Rs. 5000, it gets him out of his problem, he feels relieved and you consider this equation balanced. Working on the same theory, your heart doesn’t know that Rs. 5000 is ten times less than Rs. 50,000 and you still owe your friend an act of help equivalent to Rs. 45,000 which is the difference in amount. As already mentioned, the numbers are considered by your intellect and not by your heart. Even in this case, your heart feels that help has been returned by help and a feeling of complete relief has been returned by a feeling of complete relief. Accordingly, it considers the equation settled though your friend may not think so, if he’s an intellectual type of person.

This is why people dominated by their hearts may prove most unpredictable at times because we decide the predictability of people on the basis of intellect whereas the heart doesn’t know the language of intellect. It is only if you know the language of heart that you may predict the next action of someone dominated by heart. Let’s now look at a beautiful incident from the life of Lord Krishna, in order to understand the working of heart in an even better way.

Lord Krishna is a powerful Emperor at the time of this incident and he possesses great amounts of wealth. One day, a janitor comes and tells him that a bagger-looking person named Sudaama has come to the door and he’s claiming to be lord’s childhood friend. Lord Krishna is busy with his queens at that time but as soon as he hears the name Sudaama, everything just disappears and before anyone may understand anything, he starts running towards the door; barefoot and calling out his friend’s name.

He reaches the door in frenzy; he embraces his friend and he welcomes him in. Everyone is surprised by the way a powerful king is treating a bagger as lord Krishna is personally doing most things for his friend. Sudaama stays for some days and then he asks for lord’s permission to leave. Sudaama is suffering from extreme poverty and encouraged by his wife, he’s come to lord Krishna, in order to ask for financial help. However, he is unable to ask for such help after witnessing the purest love of lord Krishna for him; as he feels that introducing money to this equation may take away the beauty of this love. Hence he leaves without asking for any help and lord Krishna also doesn’t offer him any financial help.

Hence Sudaama leaves for his village, absolutely filled with lord’s love. However, as soon as Sudaama leaves, lord Krishna starts distributing his wealth and he starts ordering one possession after the other; to be handed over to Sudaama. He doesn’t do so in front of Sudaama as that may make him feel ashamed. Queen Rukmini is present at the venue and she’s looking at this whole act in a surprising manner. As lord Krishna keeps assigning more and more of his wealth to Sudaama, a time comes when Rukmini interferes and she asks the lord to reconsider this distribution as she feels the lord may give him everything if she doesn’t stop him.

Hence she interferes and she asks the lord as to why is he assigning so much of his wealth to Sudaama? Lord Krishna says that his friend helped him in time of need and he’s returning the favor. He then tells her that at a time during childhood, they were stuck in a jungle for a long period of time due to bad weather; and they had almost nothing to eat. Sudaama had some rice with him but the quantity was so small that it was not sufficient even for one person and both of them were almost dying of hunger. Sudaama took out the rice, he offered a handful to lord Krishna and he kept another handful for himself as this was all he had; and they both ate the rice. As the weather got better, they both got back to the village.

Lord Krishna stops after this and says that he’s returning the help offered by his friend; many years back. Rukmini gets confused after hearing this incident as her intellect was not able to understand how lord Krishna can offer so many valuable things in return for a handful of rice. She asks lord Krishna as to how can he justify giving immense wealth to his friend in return for a handful of rice? What surprises her the most; is that lord Krishna keeps assigning one valuable after the other to Sudaama and he keeps saying that he still needs to assign more wealth to balance out the help offered by Sudaama.

The answer to her question is one of the most beautiful answers ever; and such answer can only be given by a person with pure and absolutely uncorrupted heart. Lord Krishna says that the equation is easy to understand; when Sudaama helped him; he only had two handfuls of rice; both of them were in need of it and he gave him one handful. He then says that the entire wealth of Sudaama at that time was two handfuls of rice and he gave him one; which means he gave him half his wealth.

Hence in the deepest sense, his help can only be returned when the lord also gives him half of his wealth at this time. He says this is why he is assigning one thing after the other to his name; he’s calculating whether the half mark has been reached or not and as he finds he still has more than Sudaama; he keeps adding more to Sudaama’s account so that both of them have equal amount of wealth. Can you imagine the magnitude of purity as well as the strength of lord Krishna’s heart from this act? This is what your heart can do when it is not corrupted by the ego. For heart, feelings equate with feelings and numbers don’t equate with numbers.

Let’s look at the mindset of Rukmini as well as that of lord Krishna during this incident. She’s assessing Sudaama’s act of help through her intellect and accordingly; she is not able to understand how such immense amount of wealth can be equal to or even less than a handful of rice. On the other hand, lord Krishna is assessing Sudaama’s help through his heart and hence he finds that that he also needs to give half of his wealth to his friend, in order for such help to be called fair. You see, the definition of fair is different for your heart and intellect.

The reason why lord Krishna uses his heart instead of intellect is that friendship is the domain ruled by heart and not by intellect. Accordingly; his conscience stops his intellect to interfere, even if it wants to do so. In addition to that; the lord understands that when Sudaama helped him out; he did so with his heart and not with his intellect. It means Sudaama helped lord Krishna out of love for him and not in order gain something. Since Sudaama’s help came from heart; it can only be returned from heart; in the deepest sense. Hence lord Krishna returns this help through his heart and not through his intellect.

Himanshu Shangari

 

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Acknowledgments and Prelude

The Heart 01

The Heart 02

The Heart 03

The Heart 04

The Heart 05

The Heart 06

The Heart 07

The Heart 08

The Heart 09

The Heart 10

The Heart 11

The Heart 12

The Heart 13

Lord Shiva Bless You

Himanshu Shangari