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The way you see it with your green glasses is that the guy is right in doing so as he shouldn’t settle for something that doesn’t work for him. You give him points for honesty and going even farther, you assume on your own that you’re the one he’s looking for. You two engage in a relationship and you even start making plans for future. However, a time comes when you find him arguing more and more with you and you start feeling like he’s trying to run away from this relationship.
You do your best to save it but it comes to an end; and the only one to blame is this guy as you remained the same throughout this relationship and it is he alone, who changed in a negative way. You may even ask some people as to what is your fault because you only played fair and you’ve been cheated in return. Well, if you’re really interested to know what your fault is, let me help you out here.
When this guy tells you that he’s walked out of ten relationships in eight years, doesn’t that ring a warning bell to you? Let’s remove those green glasses and let’s try to see things as they are. This guy may not be a bad guy but one thing is sure; he doesn’t like long term commitments and he tends to walk out of relationships after some time, though even he may not know it consciously and it may all happen subconsciously. It means it is his nature; hence he may not intentionally try to walk out of relationships and such things may happen on the basis of circumstances, even according to him.
Some of you may think what if this guy is actually a genuine guy and he was never responsible for any of those breakups? I won’t say it can’t happen but the chances of that happening are one in hundred; and only a person with green glasses will opt to try his luck in favor of one against ninety nine; and then be sure that his one chance will certainly win every time. Coming to this guy, he has faced ten broken love relationships with the average life of a relationship being less than one year. If he did his job fairly in all those cases; it only means one thing which is the fact that all ten of those girls were bad ones or let’s say, not so good ones.
Do you really think if you meet ten different people at different stages as well as in different situations, all ten of them may turn out bad? Has the world become so bad that there’s not even one person in every ten persons, who’s good? Before making any judgments, kindly pay attention to the fact that you checked certain basic things about these ten people before engaging in relationships and you only engaged in relationships when most of those things worked in your favor. It means they passed the basic tests of being good people and only after that, you decided to engage in relationships with them. Hence you took due time to assess them according to your level of wisdom and these people were not randomly forced on you.
When you look at it like this, the equation changes. In fact, the equation always remains unchanged and only your viewpoint changes. These facts indicate that if a person spends time and effort in assessing ten different people so that he may have relationships with them, the assessment is positive in all the cases, it remains positive for some months and then it suddenly starts turning negative in all these cases, the chances are high that these people have not changed and the way you assess them has changed.
Let me mention this fact that this guy may not be a bad guy, but he may have this habit of walking out of relationships, though even he may not be consciously aware of it that he’s afraid of long term commitments. Accordingly, he assessed these ten women differently at different stages during these relationships and this is what changed everything. Taking one such case, at the beginning of a particular relationship, he was interested in a having a relationship as this is why he was looking for someone, to start with.
As he’s interested in a relationship at this time or say he’s even eager to have a partner, his subconscious mind may operate in a way that he may primarily be able to focus on the good habits of the women he meets or dates. This happens because he keeps wishing for a partner again and again; and this wish sends a request to his subconscious mind again and again, which says a partner is needed at the earliest. The way his subconscious mind understands it or even the way this request has been given by his conscious mind at this time is that a partner is needed; and there are no specific and important tags attached to this wish.
This means his primary wish is to have a partner at the earliest and it is not that he either needs a very good partner or he doesn’t need a partner at all. Kindly understand that there’s a big difference between these two wishes and the subconscious mind is smart enough to spot this difference at the earliest. Through the first wish, he’s primarily asking for a partner at the earliest and the type of partner becomes secondary. However through the second wish, he’s primarily asking for a good partner and the time taken to do this job is secondary.
Accordingly, his subconscious mind gives priority to the time factor in case of the first wish whereas it gives priority to the exact personality of the partner in the second case. Whatever may your wish be, your subconscious mind may make you behave in a way that such wish may be completed; and you may not be aware of this entire process, even in the least. Since his wish is the first one, which means he wants to have a partner at the earliest, his subconscious mind assigns more importance to the time factor and less importance to the exact personality of the partner.
As a result, it makes some changes to his behavior pattern or so to say, it puts a specific type of glasses on his eyes, the glasses which can help him fulfill his wish. As he starts meeting girls, he tends to spot the good things they have at the earliest whereas he tends to ignore the negative things in them or so to say, he may not even spot many of them at this stage. This is happening because if he pays equal amount of attention to the negative habits also; more and more girls may be rejected on the basis of different negative habits that he may not like; and the process of having a partner may be delayed. Since time is the primary factor for this wish, his subconscious mind distracts him when it comes to spot their negative habits and it fixes his focus more on their good habits.
As you can understand, it is the shortest possible way to get a partner because he’s only looking at the good habits they have and almost everyone has good habits in them, though everyone may have negative habits also. This is not all and there’s more. In order to make sure that the girl he likes also likes him so that the result may be achieved at the earliest, his subconscious mind may make changes to his behavior, once again without his conscious knowledge.
As a result, he starts liking what this girls likes and he starts enjoying what she enjoys so that both of them have things in common, which help building a relationship at the earliest. It should be noted that in general, he may not like doing some of these things a lot and this is a temporary adjustment made by his subconscious mind in order to fulfill his wish at the earliest. Since this is happening without his conscious knowledge, even he may not know why he is liking or engaging in things which he generally doesn’t like or engage in.
For instance, he may not have much liking for dancing in general. However, when this girl asks him for a dance, he may gladly do so and he may not even notice this change in his behavior as this action has been carried out by his subconscious mind. The entire focus of his subconscious mind at this stage is to get him a girlfriend at the earliest and it may do anything in its power to achieve this objective. Since the subconscious mind is very powerful, it may succeed in getting him a girlfriend at the earliest, by hook or by crook. As soon as this happens, his wish is fulfilled and things start getting back to normal or natural.
Over a period of time, he may develop a new wish which is to maintain this relationship and this wish is forwarded to the subconscious mind. As a result, some adjustments are once again made to his behavior patterns on temporary basis, and these adjustments make sure that he keeps doing things which are required to maintain a healthy relationship with this girl. This is what he wished for and this is what his subconscious mind is blessing him with. Hence his focus may still be fixed on her positive habits and he may also try to keep his negative habits under check; though he may do so subconsciously.
In the next stage, the girl may start getting too close to him and she may even start giving hints about the future plans which include concepts like having a family together. As he doesn’t want this at all deep down, there are only two options left for him at this point. The first option is that he should tell this girl straight away that he doesn’t want to plan for future at this time and he can’t even say when he may be ready for such planning. Suppose he chooses this option, the girl doesn’t like it as this is in opposition to what she wants; and the relationship ends.
The second option is that according to his basic nature, he may not feel comfortable facing this situation in a direct way as it may bring him the type of blames he may not like. For instance, if he says it straight away, the girl may blame him for using her and she may be the one who may walkout after cursing him. If this is what he’s not comfortable with, he may want another way. Hence a new wish is created and forwarded to his subconscious mind. This wish says he wants to get out of this relationship but he doesn’t want to be the one who bears all the blame for this breakup.
As this wish is registered, his subconscious mind starts working on it and once again, certain specific behavior changes are made to his basic nature. This is the time when his subconscious mind gives him a different pair of glasses which enables him to spot the negative habits of this girl at the earliest and these glasses don’t focus much on the good habits. When that happens, he may suddenly start discovering so many negative habits of this girl, which he was so far unaware of. As that happens, he starts liking this girl less and less, and this is where this relationship enters its final phase.
It should be noted that this guy may not pretend to have discovered all those negative things about this girl only at this stage; and he may be right in saying so; at least consciously. In order to fulfill his previous wishes related to this girl, his subconscious mind made him oblivious to the negative habits of this girl. Hence he may not have much awareness about many of her negative habits so far. As his wish has changed now and the new wish needs him to find more and more negative habits of this girl, in order for this wish to be fulfilled; things change.
His subconscious mind starts making him aware of all those negative habits of this girl, which were there right from the beginning but he was never able to see them as his vision was blocked by his subconscious mind, in order to fulfill his wishes during those times. As he finds out more and more negative habits of this girl and as he starts complaining about them, tension starts building. The arguments become intense with each passing day and a day comes when they decide to breakup. His wish is once again fulfilled and he’s not the only one to be blamed for this relationship as the girl also has her contribution through her negative habits.
This is how you can have different points of view about the same person or thing at different times, based on what type of glasses you are wearing, which means how you want to see them at those times, deep down. The girl may be shocked at his changed behavior because she had all those negative habits from the beginning and she may not even have tried to hide them. What she may not understand is that why is this guy mentioning all those negative habits at this stage and why was he fine with them so far? She may feel like this guy has intentionally used her though he may have used her; unintentionally or subconsciously at the most.
As this guy walks out of this relationship, he may think that this girl was not the right kind of girl for him and the relationship has broken, primarily due to her negative habits and not because of him. This assurance makes him worthy of falling in love again or so to say, worthy of having a relationship once again. Boosted by this assurance, he may soon start wishing for one more relationship and the process may start once again. This keeps happening and this way, he may have walked out of ten relationships in eight years; and it was never his fault according to his conscious mind.
It should be noted that if this guy chooses to go with the first option which is to tell his girlfriends straight away after eight to ten months that he doesn’t want a long term relationship and hence they should split; he may not be able to have ten or even five relationships. If he tells his first girlfriend that there’s nothing wrong with her but he still wants to walk out of the relationship as this is how he is; the girl may accuse him of using her and she may say a number of bad things before the breakup. She may also add this specific clause that if he doesn’t like long term relationships, he should have made it clear before getting into this relationship. She may add that by hiding this fact, he has cheated her and she may also spread bad words about him, which he duly deserves.
Hence he may face a lot of negative energy which he duly deserves and this negative energy may give birth to a conscious type of guilt. It should be noted that conscious guilt is the one which rises from a negative act which you do consciously and you regret it later on. On the other hand, subconscious guilt is the one which rises from a negative act which you do subconsciously or indirectly and you may not have any conscious regret for such act. Another fact to be understood is that whenever there’s a guilt of any type; it has to be balanced out in some way through an action of the opposite type; sooner or later.
Conscious guilt needs conscious action to balance out and subconscious guilt needs subconscious action to balance out. Since conscious guilt is completely in your knowledge right from the moment the act which caused it was done; it becomes very difficult to live with conscious guilt. Hence you may feel consciously pressurized to do something in order to balance it out and at the same time; you may find it difficult to repeat the same type of act in future; at least consciously.
When it comes to subconscious guilt, it is caused due to acts which contain negativity in a hidden way and hence you don’t become consciously aware of such negativity. It means you’re consciously not bothered about such acts. Hence you can afford to take much more time to balance them out and at the same time; it may also be possible to repeat the acts which caused such guilt. This is why most people choose to engage in subconscious acts of negativity as conscious acts of negativity can make it difficult for them to live happily or even difficult to live at times. Let’s try to understand this concept with the help of a real life situation.
Suppose you borrow an amount of money from a friend and you promise to return it at the earliest. Suppose you have a personality type which features a negative habit that encourages you not to return money to anyone; whenever you borrow it. This means you may borrow money; you may make promise to return it but you may never return it; thereby breaking your promise. This act of not returning the money or breaking your promise can be done in two ways; the conscious way as well as the subconscious way. Let’s now look at both these ways.
If you choose to go through the conscious way; you borrow money from your friend and as soon as he asks for it for the very first time; you tell him straight away that you’re not going to return it ever as this is what you feel like doing. Since you’re engaging in it in a conscious way; everything has to come out loud and clear. As that happens, your friend may tell you a number of negative things as he feels like being cheated or betrayed. This may not stop here and he may start telling all the common friends that you borrowed money and then you straight away refused to return it.
As a result, a number of other friends may start convincing or pressurizing you to return his money. When that happens, you’re left with two choices only; the first one is to return his money as you may find it difficult to handle the pressure created by your friends. All this is happening consciously and hence you’re aware that if you choose to tell all these friends that you’re not going to return money no matter what comes; you may end up losing all your friends. Hence it is a conscious negative act and you’re facing a conscious punishment if you don’t balance it out at the earliest. So the first option is to balance it out through an act of repayment and when that happens, things may get back to normal though it may take some time.
It means you may return this money, you may apologize and you may promise not to do so again. Even if you don’t make one such promise, you may simply not be able to do it again; even if you want to. This is because through this act; you’ve faced a lot of negative energy in the form of insult as well as social disgrace and in addition to that, you have had to return the money also. Hence this situation results in all around losses where you don’t gain anything and you lose what you already have. It means you don’t get to keep the money and you face so much trouble at the same time. Your intellect as well as your ego may find it very easy to convince you that such acts should not be repeated in future as they may bring losses only. Hence you may stop engaging in such acts.
Another option that you may choose in the same case is not to return this money; no matter what. If you do that, you may end up losing most of your friends and well wishers though you may still keep the money. Even in this case, you may find it very difficult to repeat this act because you’ve understood well through the first act of the same type; that the losses brought by this act are much bigger than the profits. Hence you may choose not to engage in such type of acts in future. You see, how your conscious guilt can help you stay away from negative habits : )
Let’s now look at the same act when negativity is created through the subconscious mind. In this case, you may borrow money from your friend, you may promise to return it at the earliest but you may almost never return it. When your friend asks you to return this money; you may come up with an excuse that you’re financially very tight at this time and you need more time to arrange this money.
It should be noted that your intention is the same in this case also; which means you don’t want to return this money; but the operation is being carried out by your subconscious mind; and that changes everything. Your subconscious mind is smart enough to know that if you refuse to return this money straight away, the consequences may be very bad. The reason your subconscious mind may know this fact is that you may have consciously engaged in one such act in this life or in one of your recent past lives. When you did so, you may have faced one of the two consequences already mentioned by me.
Since you ended up suffering a lot; no matter which one of those options you chose; it created an important memory on your subconscious mind. Based on your personality type; this memory or knowledge helps you do one of the two things. If you’re an overall positive person at this time; this awareness encourages you to stay away from such negative acts as you may have to face problems later on. All this is happening on the level of your subconscious mind and hence you may have no conscious knowledge about the reasons due to which your subconscious mind is telling you to stay away from this act.
This means you may have consciously committed one such act in your recent past life and you may have faced problems after that. These problems may have marked an important Samskara on your subconscious mind that this type of act brings difficult to handle problems. You may not have conscious knowledge of this Samskara in this life as your conscious mind keeps changing in each life; but you do have subconscious knowledge of this fact.
This is due to the reason that your subconscious mind remains the same throughout the journey of your soul and hence everything stored on it remains intact. Since you have no conscious knowledge of the kind of problems this act may bring; you may hear an inner voice which says that doing so is bad and hence it should be avoided. Your subconscious mind may also send some possible problems which may happen in case you do so; to your conscious mind. Listening to this voice, you may choose to stay away from this type of acts if you’re a positive person.
On the other hand, if you’re an overall negative person at this time, you may still want to engage in this negative act despite the warnings issued by your subconscious mind. However at the same time, you may also want to avoid the problems which may be caused by this act. Hence you forward a specific request to your subconscious mind in this case; that you wish to engage in this act but you don’t wish to face problems later on; or such problems should be the minimum in quantum. When that happens, your subconscious mind starts acting on this request and it takes control of the entire operation.
This is what is happening in the second case of subconscious fraud, being discussed. It means you’ve already faced problems through one such act; you don’t want to face those problems again and at the same time; you do wish to engage in such acts again and again. Hence when your friend asks for his money; you may present an excuse and you may ask for more time.
It is interesting to note that since the operation has been taken over by your subconscious mind; even you may not be consciously aware at this stage that you don’t wish to return this money. You may instead feel that you’re willing to return his money but you don’t have it now. Hence you may find yourself genuinely short of money on conscious level and that may help you look genuine when making this excuse; but only on conscious level. It means in your conscious awareness, you may only be telling him the truth when you say you don’t have sufficient money at this time and hence he may buy your excuse.
However deep down, your subconscious mind is working on this job and it may not let you have sufficient money at any point in time. This doesn’t mean you may not have this amount of money at all; it only means your subconscious mind may keep introducing such distractions from time to time; that you may consciously feel like not having sufficient money to spare. For instance, even though you may witness a raise in salary which may enable you to return the money in three to four installments; your subconscious mind may not let you do so by creating distractions and here is one of them.
As soon as your salary is raised; your wife may start demanding for a car for her as she may find it very difficult to manage her affairs without a car. She may give a number of fair reasons in support of her need for this car and hence you may conclude that her need is genuine and so it should be taken care of, at the earliest. Accordingly, you may get a new car financed and the increment in salary may be consumed in monthly installment for this car. While doing all this; you may consciously find that you’re doing all the right things and you have no intentions of doing anything bad to your friend.
Your subconscious mind may tell your conscious mind that the need of your wife at this time is much bigger than the need of your friend at this time. The former may even supply you with the information that your friend already has so much money to spare with and hence he can afford to wait for some months whereas the problem that your wife is facing is critical and hence she may not be able to manage her affairs without a car. Everything is justified according to you and hence there is no conscious guilt of not returning your friend’s money even when you could have.
However, this is only the illusion created by your subconscious mind and you’re being fooled by it. In reality, your wife is facing the same problems for the last five years and she’s been able to manage everything; though with some difficulty. Hence the thought that she may not be able to manage without a car any longer; is your way of fooling yourself or so to say; it is the way through which your subconscious mind is assuring you that you’re not doing anything wrong by choosing not to return your friend’s money.
This is just one excuse and your subconscious mind may keep creating more and more excuses as and when they’re needed. As a result, you may neither return his money nor you may tell your friend straight away that you’re not going to return it at all. You keep presenting genuine looking excuses for delay as that helps you in many ways. Looking at one such benefit; your friend may understand with the passage of time that you don’t wish to return this money and based on his personality type; he may choose to react differently. We’ll discuss two options for the sake of this example.
If he’s an overall positive person; he may stop asking for this money as he may realize that even if he keeps asking you; it is not going to make any difference. Hence he may stop asking you about this money. If he chooses to do so; the pressure is lifted and you’re free from this burden on conscious level; though it may create guilt of high quantum on subconscious level. However, as this guilt is created on subconscious level; it can’t bother you directly or consciously; and it may only keep giving you a feeling of guilt every once in a while; especially when you meet this friend.
In order to avoid this feeling of guilt; you may subconsciously choose to move away from this friend so that you may not have to face him again and you may be saved from this guilt in future. Your subconscious mind may once again help you with this job and it may do so in many ways. For instance, you may start finding negative things about your friend in order to convince yourself that he’s not worthy of being your friend and hence you’re doing the right thing by choosing to move away from him.
All this is happening on subconscious level and hence you may feel it happening naturally. It means you may not think that you’re creating those negative habits or exaggerating them; you may instead think that you’ve discovered them recently. As you attach more and more negative attributes to your friend, your decision to move away is justified and at the same time; the guilt for not returning his money also reduces. This is because he is a bad person now and choosing to do something bad to a bad person is not that bad; according to you : )
The specific types of negative acts which may help you out are the ones where your friend engages in some type of financial disputes with other parities. For instance, it may come to your notice that a client of your friend has filed a complaint against him and this complaint says that he has delivered him goods which are less in value than he paid. It is interesting to note that even if this claim is absolutely false, you may certainly consider it as a true claim as doing so brings benefits to you. Now you have the reason to think that your friend cheats other people for money; hence he’s not a good person and you should move away from him.
You may also think that you should not return his money as by doing so; you may teach him a lesson as to how it feels when you cheat someone for money. It means you’re trying to deliver justice by cheating him for money in order to balance out his act of cheating someone else for money. As you do that; you keep money and at the same time; you’re free from any type of guilt also. You see, how your subconscious mind can turn everything to your advantage; though it only does so when you wish. It means your subconscious mind can help you achieve hell as well as heaven but it doesn’t make that choice. This choice or desire comes from your conscious mind and your subconscious mind only helps fulfill this desire, whatever it may be at any time.