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For example, if your subconscious mind is an airplane and your conscious mind is the pilot; this is what the former may do for you. If you choose the worst location for this airplane to land; this airplane will land you in that place or so to say, it may crash at that place as landing may not be available there; for such place may be hell. Similarly, if you choose a very good location, it may land you in that beautiful place and this place may be considered as heaven. Though it is the airplane which has landed you in hell or heaven in both these cases; you can neither blame it for going to hell nor can you appreciate it for taking you to heaven.
This is because this airplane is a medium and it only does what the pilot wishes it to do. Hence the good or bad choices are being made by the pilot and the airplane is only helping him achieve his objectives; whether good or bad. In the same way, your conscious mind makes all the choices and your subconscious mind helps fulfilling them. Hence whether it creates good or bad for you; is none of its business and the credit as well as the discredit; all goes to your conscious mind.
Therefore, if you don’t want your subconscious mind to create hell for you; stop creating such conscious wishes which end up in bringing hell to you. As long as you keep creating such wishes; your subconscious mind will keep helping you fulfill them and you may have to face negative consequences. On the other hand, if you keep creating positive wishes through your conscious mind, your subconscious mind will help you achieve them also and hence it may bring heaven to you through them. Whether you want heaven or hell is your conscious choice and your subconscious mind is there to help you fulfill your wishes; whichever type they may be.
So choose your wishes or desires wisely as they’re the ones which decide your future. This is why desire element lies at the root of the theory of Karma as well as at the root of your entire personality as your subconscious mind starts working in order to fulfill your desires; as soon as they’re created. Choosing to create negative desires means ending up in hell, choosing to create positive desires means ending up in heaven and choosing to have no desires of your own at all; means ending up being liberated. The best thing is that only you have the power as well as the right to control your desires and through the type of desires you create; you have the right to control hell, heaven or liberation which may come your way.
Back to the example, if your friend chooses the second option and he starts telling your common friends that you’re not returning his money; the situation is still manageable. This is because he may not be able to tell them that you’ve refused to return money and he may only be able to tell them that you’re making excuses which say you don’t have sufficient extra money. As you can understand, this situation is a lot different from the already discussed situation where your friend tells the common friends that you straight away refused to return his money.
This time, you’ve come up with a better plan; you’re not refusing to return his money and all you’re saying is that you’re genuinely short of money and you need more time. When it comes to most of your common friends, they may think in the first case that you’re bullying a friend by taking money and then refusing to return it. Hence they may stand against you because bullying is a conscious type of negative act and accordingly, it may bring conscious reactions from your common friends.
However in this case, your negative act is subconscious and accordingly; it may not give your common friends much space to engage in conscious reactions. It means your friends may get divided on whether to take up this matter with you or not due to the reason that you’re talking about your limitation to return this money and that may happen to anyone. Hence some of your friends may not even discuss this matter with you because they may think you’re genuinely not able to return this money and the friend who has given you money should understand your problem and adjust.
There may be a couple of friends who may take up this matter with you, encouraged by the friend who gave you money. However in this case also, they don’t hold solid ground and you’re in a better position. It means you can give them a number of genuine looking reasons for not being able to return this money and you may even end up gaining their sympathy. You may even try to convince them that the friend who gave you money behaved inappropriately with you or insulted you on a number of times; merely because you were not able to return his money on time, due to genuine problems.
Many other such things may happen from your side as well as from your friend’s side and the conclusion may be that almost all your common friends may choose to stay away from this matter. This may happen because they may not be able to decide which one of you is genuine and which one is not. It means you’re either not returning the money on purpose or your friend doesn’t want to understand even your genuine problems; and the common friends may get confused between these two possibilities. Their confusion may help you and you may keep having them as your friends.
Hence in this case, you may only lose the friend who gave you money and your subconscious mind may give you a number of reasons to justify this move so that you may not have much guilt for doing so. As this formula helps you once; you start repeating it and sooner than you know, it forms a pattern on your subconscious mind; a pattern which results in the negative habit of borrowing money and then not returning it. This is why majority of people engage in negative acts of the subconscious type; so that they may afford the luxury of staying away from conscious guilt and even staying away from conscious awareness of the fact that they’re doing anything wrong.
This is the reason that conscious awareness is considered as the first step to improve a negative habit. As soon as you consciously become aware of a negative habit, you may find it very difficult to continue having such habit because each time you engage in it; you may have to deal with conscious guilt instead of dealing with subconscious guilt. As you understand by now; conscious guilt is very difficult to handle and hence you choose to go with subconscious guilt which can keep you away; even from the awareness that you’re doing something wrong.
This is why the people who follow religions which prohibit eating non-vegetarian food may find it very difficult to try such foods whereas the people following religions which don’t prohibit such foods may not have any problems with such foods at all. The religions of the first type keep creating conscious awareness about the fact that eating non-vegetarian food is very bad and it brings a number of problems. Accordingly, a follower of one such religion may have to deal with conscious guilt if he chooses to engage in the act of eating non-vegetarian food. As you understand the power of conscious guilt; it keeps this follower away from eating non-vegetarian food.
On the other hand, a person who follows a different type of religion which doesn’t prohibit eating non-vegetarian food may not have conscious guilt or even subconscious guilt while eating non-vegetarian food and hence it may not be a big deal for him. The reason he may not even have the subconscious guilt is that at this time; there are no unanimously agreed measures to decide whether eating non-vegetarian food is good or bad. For instance, most people may agree that killing a human being is bad and hence it becomes a unanimously agreed negative act of extreme quantum.
When it comes to eat non-vegetarian food, some people may consider it good and some others may consider it bad. Accordingly; eating non-vegetarian food may result in any type of guilt; only in case of those people who consider it bad and not in case of those people who don’t consider it bad. Taking a look at the people who find it bad, if the awareness is conscious like the one coming through their religion, the guilt may also be conscious and hence they may find it almost impossible to eat non-vegetarian food as it is very difficult to deal with conscious guilt of any type.
Then there may be people who may practice in religions which don’t prohibit eating non-vegetarian food but these people may themselves be divided when it comes to eat such food. It means that a part of their personalities may tell them doing so is wrong whereas another part may tell it is not. Hence they may keep eating non-vegetarian food; though they may certainly have subconscious guilt for doing so as a part of them is stopping them from eating non-vegetarian food.
These people may find a number of different ways to deal with this subconscious guilt, based on their overall personalities. For instance, some of these people may regularly make donations to the institutions which work for animal welfare in one way or the other. As they make these donations and as they witness the animals benefitting through their donations, the subconscious guilt they have is balanced out with the act of donation. They eat some animals; then they do good things for some other animals and hence the equation is balanced.
Some other such people may keep dogs, cats or other pets and they may take very good care of them, which may once again be a subconscious act of getting rid of the guilt they may have. On the other hand, the people who eat non-vegetarian food without having any conscious or subconscious guilt may not feel the subconscious need to donate for animal welfare or to raise a cat or dog; as there is no guilt to start with and hence; no balancing act is required.
Let’s now get back to the case of the guy who keeps walking out of relationships without conscious knowledge of the fact that he’s doing so on purpose. His tenth relationship may have broken recently and his conscious mind may have assured him once again that it was not his fault and he’s worthy of having a healthy relationship. He tries once again and this time, he finds you. The same happens in this case also and he walks out of this relationship, leaving you wondering like each one of those ten girls as to why did he change?
Let me tell you a secret of the subconscious mind. Your subconscious mind may help you achieve whatever you wish to achieve; but it may almost always express your true personality or the truth; through subconscious words or expressions. This is because the mind is all about expressing it and hence it can’t stop expressing itself. Since your conscious mind is conscious, its expressions are also conscious which means they can be easily noticed or observed.
On the other hand, your subconscious mind is hidden and so are its expressions. Hence it expresses itself through hidden words, lines, expressions or body language, which are not easy to notice and you need deep attention to interpret them. If however, you’re able to read them, you are in a strong position to know the real meaning behind what someone is saying or doing.
Considering the present case, when this guy dropped this line during the early stage of this relationship that he’s had ten broken relationships in the last eight years, this line was dropped by his subconscious mind. You may go back and remember that you didn’t ask about this information and he offered it on his own. This line was a subconscious expression of warning for you, and this warning said that you should not move ahead with him, if you’re interested in a long term relationship.
I know it may seem like an insufficient sign but it is still an obvious sign; though it is a subconscious sign as it has been given by his subconscious mind; without his conscious knowledge. The reason it happens is because after each broken relationship, he may have carried subconscious guilt that he is responsible for that breakup and as the number of breakups increases, this guilt intensifies. This is because a number of his girlfriends may have blamed him for some negative conducts that he thinks he didn’t do; at least intentionally. Hence the subconscious guilt is there and it needs to be balanced out.
For instance, a number of them may have told him that the reason he’s finding faults with them is because he wants to get out of the relationship and he’s finding excuses to do so. Though he may not have agreed to this fact consciously, he knows deep down that it is correct. On subconscious level; he knows that he really doesn’t want to engage in long term commitments and that is why he starts finding reasons to get out of a relationship once it crosses a stage which he finds uncomfortable.
This results in the formation of subconscious guilt, as his subconscious mind has done all this. For instance, if you slap someone consciously without any valid reason; you may have conscious guilt and you may engage in conscious acts of balancing this act. This is because as long as you don’t balance this act, you may consciously keep remembering it and that may bother you again and again. Accordingly; you may engage in a conscious act of balancing and the quantum of such act may be equal to the quantum of the first act of slapping this person.
On the other hand, if you accidently happen to slap or hit someone; the guilt is subconscious and you may not feel much bad in this case. Hence you may simply say sorry and you may get out of it. Some parents hit their kids subconsciously for no big reasons and then later on, they buy them something that these kids really like. This gift is a subconscious act of balancing the subconscious act of slapping. However, even in case of subconscious guilt; as one such guilt becomes stronger, the balancing act becomes compulsory. Hence as the number of broken relationships increases, the subconscious guilt of this guy becomes stronger. Let’s say he reaches this stage after his seventh broken relationship; which means the subconscious guilt becomes strong after his seventh broken relationship.
This is where he needs a subconscious act to balance out his guilt. As a result, he may have expressed this feeling to his eighth, ninth, tenth and eleventh girlfriend which is you; that he’s had seven, eight, nine and ten broken relationships over the last few years. Coming to your case, he mentions this fact and then he adds that he thinks none of those girls was the one he was looking for. The second line adds a conscious expression and it tells about the state of confusion which is going on within him.
It means he expresses his subconscious guilt that he may not be worthy of a long term commitment and then he adds a conscious expression in the following sentence. This expression says that he thinks none of those girls was the one he was looking for. This sentence is in opposition to the first sentence though it may not look so at first sight. It is a conscious expression explaining the state of his conscious mind which says he’s not responsible for those breakups. However deep down, he has a subconscious guilt that he may have been responsible for those breakups.
A state of confusion is there between his conscious and subconscious mind and that is why he says ‘he thinks’. Kindly pay attention to this phrase which unfolds the mystery behind the information disclosed in these two lines. Since he’s confused whether or not he’s responsible for those breakups, he uses the phrase ‘he thinks’. It means even he’s not sure whether or not the girls were right for him and this is only an estimate.
Hence his subconscious mind releases the information that he’s had ten broken relationships in eight years and his conscious mind releases the information that he’s not sure whether something was wrong with those girls or it was he, who was responsible. Combining these two pieces of information, you can reach the conclusion that this guy can’t be trusted with long term commitments and even he knows it deep down, as obvious from his expressions.
Taking a look at another possibility, as long as this guilt is not strong but it is significant, like this may have happened after his third broken relationship; he may have told his fourth girlfriend that he’s had three broken relationships as the girls were not the ones for him. He may not have added the phrase ‘I think’ and he may have said clearly that the girls were not the ones for him. This is because till this point, his conscious mind is absolutely sure that he’s not guilty for these breakups; as the subconscious guilt is not strong enough to cause confusion.
However, as the number of breakups increases and as more and more of his girlfriends tell him that he wants to walk out of the relationship and that is why he’s making excuses; his conscious mind may get confused. This is because a number of people are telling him something that he believes is not true. Though he may be consciously sure that the girls are not right in what they’re saying; his subconscious mind knows they’re right and hence the subconscious guilt may start gaining strength. As more and more girls keep blaming him; the subconscious guilt gains even more strength and this is the time when an apparent clash may surface between his conscious and subconscious mind.
From this point onward, whenever a girl says he wants to walk out of the relationship and that is why he’s finding faults with her; this is what may happen inside this guy. Like always, his conscious mind may refuse to believe this information as this information is false according to his conscious mind. However, as this information reaches his subconscious mind; it validates this information and it then sends it back to his conscious mind for reconsideration. It means his subconscious mind tells his conscious mind that what he believes is not true and what the girl says is true.
Since the acts of subconscious mind are hidden, this information is forwarded by the subconscious mind in the form of an inner voice which may be called a type of inner fear that the girl is right. As it reaches his conscious mind, it rejects this information and the same is sent back to his subconscious mind which once again sends it back to the conscious mind; asserting that it is true. This may keep happening and this is what may cause confusion within this guy; as his mind is now split in two parts where one part is saying one thing and the other part is saying another.
Since this guy may not know the exact mechanism behind this process; he may simply feel that something from inside him is telling that the girl may be right in what she’s saying. Hence he gets confused when it comes to decide whether or not he tends to run away from long term commitments. It should be noted that as long as the quantum of subconscious guilt doesn’t become stronger than the quantum of conscious confidence; such confusion may not rise or it may not become significant. This is because till this point, the conscious mind may be well capable of dealing with the subconscious messages which may not be strong enough to challenge the strength of the conscious mind.
Taking an example, if you’re perfectly all right on a day according to your conscious knowledge and a number of people start telling you one after the other that you don’t look well, it may create confusion within you and this confusion may start gaining strength as the number of such people increases. This is because you don’t consciously find anything wrong with you but at the same time; a number of people are telling you the opposite. Hence you may get confused and you may even check your body temperature or other vital signs in order to make sure you’re all right.
A more common expression is that after the fifth or sixth person has told you so; you may go to someone you trust and you may ask him if he thinks you look well. When you ask him for his opinion about your general well being at this time; it simply means you’re confused about such well being and you want him to help you get out of this confusion.
If this person also tells you that something looks wrong with you; your confusion may intensify and you may start checking your vital signs. This confusion is being caused because you believe on conscious level that everything is well, which may be true in fact. However, as more and more people keep telling you that you don’t look well; you may start believing it on subconscious level that you’re not well. This is because your subconscious mind operates on the basis of repeated requests or messages of any type; and accordingly it starts believing in or working on things which are fed to it again and again.
The magicians as wells as the hypnotists know this secret and that is why they keep telling you the same thing again and again so that your subconscious mind may start believing it. Looking at some other examples; all the advertisements work on the same theory. These advertisements keep sending the same type of information to your subconscious mind again and again; and your subconscious mind may start believing that information with the passage of time. We’ll discuss this concept in details, later on.
Hence when your subconscious mind starts receiving this information again and again; it starts sending messages to your conscious mind that something may not be right. When this happens, you may get confused as the conscious part of your mind is telling you that everything is all right whereas the subconscious part of your mind is telling you that it is not. The moment these subconscious messages become strong enough to penetrate your conscious mind or so to say your true confidence or faith in you; you may start checking your vital signs; which confirms that your conscious mind has been dominated by your subconscious mind.
It is the time to know that stronger is your conscious mind; more difficult it is for people to convince you against something that it believes in. For instance, if you’re a person with weak conscious mind which means weak confidence; the confusion in one such case may arise after the second or third person tells you that you’re not well. If your conscious mind is stronger than this, the confusion may start only when five to six people tell you this fact. If your conscious mind is even stronger, eight to ten people may be needed to create this confusion.
Taking a look at the extreme, if your conscious mind is absolutely strong; such confusion may not be caused even if the entire world tells you that you’re not well. This is because when you reach such a stage, your conscious mind becomes extremely capable of noticing each and everything you want to notice, about you as well as about other people or things. Hence if you’re unwell at this stage; you’ll be the first one to notice due to the very high awareness level of your conscious mind. At this stage, even if a minor negative change happens in your body; you’re able to feel it as soon as it happens even if this change is so small that it may not be captured by the doctors also; after doing all the tests.
When you reach such high level of conscious awareness, no one can make you believe you’re wrong when you consciously know you’re right. Hence when the first person tells you that you don’t look well, you may not care at all as your body is not giving you any signs of being unwell. At the most, you may connect to your body and mind for a moment and you may try to feel if something is wrong. As you do so and as you feel everything is all right; this matter is finished here. No matter how many people may tell you after this that you don’t look well; you may not be confused at all. This is because your conscious mind is so strong that your subconscious mind may not be able to penetrate this strength; no matter how many messages of the opposite type it may send to it.
An interesting thing is that when you reach one such stage which is the stage of very high spiritual growth; your conscious mind takes over your subconscious mind and accordingly; the latter doesn’t oppose the former and they both form harmony with each other. It means your subconscious mind listens to your conscious mind alone in this case; and it doesn’t listen to anyone or anything else. In other words; your conscious mind becomes strong enough; not to pass on any such information to your subconscious mind; which the former doesn’t like.
This is the biggest secret of spiritually advanced people. It should be noted that each and every type of information is first sent to your subconscious mind through your conscious mind and only then the former may store and use it. This is why you need more effort when you do something for the first time as all the effort is being done by your conscious mind and almost no effort is being done by your subconscious mind.
It becomes relatively easier the second time and even easier as you start doing it again and again; as your conscious mind keeps transferring more and more information related to this act to your subconscious mind; each time you try it. Based on this information, your subconscious mind helps you when you try to do it again and again; and when this information is enough to let your subconscious mind deal with this act on its own; without any help from your conscious mind; a pattern or a habit has been formed.
Himanshu Shangari