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On the other hand, if there’s a human being who’s doing this job instead of this machine, which means he’s selling water bottles; the situation may change altogether. The chances are high that he may not even care for someone to approach him and tell him that a person is suffering, he needs water and no one has that specific coin or say any type of money for that matter.

As he has heart, an intense feeling of helping this person out of his situation may rise as soon as he finds him falling on the ground in front of his shop. Accordingly, he may not wait for anything, he may grab a bottle of water and he may run to the suffering person so that he may feel relieved at the earliest. You see, how much can change in the absence of heart? It should be noted that this example doesn’t mean anything against any type of machine and it only indicates the fact that machines don’t have hearts and hence they can’t do the things which require the application of heart.

The intellect can help us create a number of useful resources but it can’t help us enjoy the services offered by those resources; as enjoyment is a feeling and the intellect doesn’t deal in feelings to start with. All types of feelings and emotions fall into the domain of heart and this is what makes it a very important entity because without feelings and emotions, we may be able to pass time, we may never be able to live life in its true sense.

As already mentioned, the heart has the ability to live in the moment and it doesn’t need to store much information on the subconscious mind, in order to do what it wants to do, in most cases. The intellect on the other hand, operates in a different manner as it finds information about things, people and places; it stores such information on subconscious mind and it needs that information in order to deal with those specific things, people or places in future.

Hence the ability of intellect depends largely on the amount of information it has stored on the subconscious mind, whether such information has been stored in this life or in a number of past lives. Therefore, the definition of an intellectual person includes the condition that the person in question has gathered and stored a large amount of information related to various spheres in a number of lives, on his subconscious mind and he’s able to use this information to his advantage, as and when he comes across those spheres.

It is certainly a big advantage but it comes at a cost and at times, this cost may prove higher or much higher than the value of information stored by the intellect on the subconscious mind. This is because the intellect may keep sending more and more information to the subconscious mind, the latter may keep storing it and as this process goes on, the subconscious mind may get cramped with pieces of information of various types.

This is the time to know that the subconscious mind perfectly fits the saying which is used for the ocean, ‘the ocean never keeps anything inside it forever and whatever goes in, must come out at one time or another’.  It may or may not be true in case of the ocean but it is absolutely true in case of the subconscious mind. Accordingly, more information you’re storing on it, more is the number of thoughts it may keep sending to your conscious mind and as you can understand; more thoughts mean less peace of mind.

I guess now you know why a number of intellectual people tend to suffer from mental problems like anxiety, restlessness, difficulty in sleeping and even from bigger types of mental problems. These people keep collecting new pieces of information at a fast pace and they keep storing them on their subconscious minds. As the subconscious mind of such a person stores more and more information, it keeps sending more and more thoughts related to that information, to his conscious mind. As these thoughts increase in number and as they don’t stop from appearing even when this person tries to stop them; his mental rest is disturbed and he may suffer from mental problems, which may vary in quantum, depending on a number of variables.

The primary reason that people in the old times had fewer resources but they still lived much more happily than the people of this age; is that they didn’t assign undue importance to intellect. These people didn’t store such information on their subconscious minds through their intellects, which they didn’t need often in their lives. For instance, an average person from the past didn’t care to learn more and more about medicines, if his profession didn’t deal in medicines. Whenever he felt like suffering from a health problem, he’d go to a doctor and consult him for suitable medicine.

Let’s compare this to an intellectual person of this day and age. He has learnt about a number of medicines which may prove useful for him; which means he has remembered most of the medicines he has used for any types of health issues he has faced till a point in his life. For instance, if he suffers from urinary infection, the doctor prescribes him a medicine and he gets well, he may feed that medicine in his memory so that he may use it whenever he suffers from urinary infection again. He keeps doing so in case of most other medicines and soon, it becomes a habit.

Some people may go even farther and they may feed information related to those medicines also, which their family members used for treating certain problems they had at times. Doing so may give them an edge in the domain of intellect as they have better chances of treating themselves on their own in future and they may even try to treat other people around them, through the information they have.

For instance, if a friend suffers from urinary infection; such a person may draw information related to this health problem from his subconscious mind and he may suggest his friend to try this medicine. Whether such medicine works for his friend or not is not the scope of this discussion, but we’ll still assume it works. Though storing more and more information on the subconscious mind, related to various medicines may help this person, it comes at a cost as it can disturb his peace of mind.

Some people go even beyond this, they store the names of all the medicines used by them on their minds and if they tend to suffer from a different type of health issue; they may open a search engine on the internet and they may try to find more about this health issue as well as about the medicines which may help in case of this health issue. Once again, they may find the correct medicine through internet; but that may happen only after a long history of browsing through different pieces of information and storing them on their subconscious minds.

Though this information can certainly help, it keeps filling the subconscious mind of such a person with more and more information, which may lead to many types of problems. For instance, he goes to a late night party, he enjoys eating and drinking a number of items, he comes back and he feels the urge to urinate more than usual. Though the problem with urine may not be much to handle and he may still be able to have peaceful sleep, the problem with his mental plane may become too much to handle.

As he’s the intellectual type, it is natural for him to try and find the cause of such more than usual urine. His conscious effort may generate a request which may activate his subconscious mind and as a result, all the pieces of information related to this problem may start coming to his conscious mind. For instance, when he consulted the doctor once for this problem, he suggested him a list of food items which might cause this problem on temporary basis like for 2 to 6 hours as these items might be diuretic in nature, like any drink containing caffeine.

He may start scanning through all the food items he had at this party and this may put load on his intellect; at this late in the night when rest is a better option for his intellect. Another thought may come from memory that sometimes, sitting in a specific seating pose which may press the bladder more than usual for a significant period of time may also cause this effect on temporary basis. The intellect once again starts working on it and it tries to find out whether it happened or not. A number of other such pieces of information may come to his conscious mind through his subconscious mind and he may keep working on them, let’s say for an hour or so.

Another complication which may rise is that among a number of things which may cause this effect on temporary as well as on long term basis; he may have done two or more than two of such things. For instance, he may have had an energy drink which contains caffeine and which can create this effect for 2 to 6 hours. He may also have had a specific type of meat which has the tendency to initiate a urinary infection, though it may happen in one in hundred such incidences only.

Similarly, there may be other things also, which may be responsible for a temporary or permanent problem related to more than usual quantity of urine. He may get confused as to which one of them may have caused this problem and this may take more time; as well as put more load on his intellect as it has to rationalize which one of those things may have caused this problem.

He may finally reach the conclusion that if this problem doesn’t go away by the morning, he’ll try the medicine which is also stored on his subconscious mind, which has come to his conscious mind now and he has repeated its name a number of times inside his conscious mind, so that he may not forget it by tomorrow morning. This is what many of us do, we repeat such pieces of information in our conscious minds which are very likely to be used soon. All this effort may take an hour or more; he may be able to sleep only after that; or even after two hours as it is not an easy job to put your mind to rest at once, especially when it’s been processing at fast pace for an hour or so. Hence he may be able to sleep even after two hours, from the time he goes to bed.

Suppose he wakes up in the morning and the problem is gone by now. Very likely, it was caffeine which caused this effect on temporary basis and hence this effect went away on its own. Nothing much has happened to him in reality but he has lost a couple of valuable hours of sleep, bothering to solve something which wasn’t there in the first place. This is how your intellect can cause problems for you, if you use it beyond healthy level.

Let’s consider an emotional person in the same situation. He comes back and he finds himself passing urine which is more in quantity than usual, though it is not troublesome, like in the first example. All he may think is that it may be temporary and hence there’s no need to worry. Another thought may come that if it doesn’t go away by tomorrow, he’ll consult a doctor or he may find the previous prescription for this problem when it happened in the past, he may try that medicine and see what happens. That’s all he may do and he may then sleep in no time. By the morning, his problem is also gone but he has not missed his sleep like the intellectual person.

It is interesting to note that even this emotional person’s intellect may generate the couple of thoughts mentioned in this example, as thoughts are created by the intellect, whether they’re conscious or subconscious. Conscious thoughts are the ones which are created freshly by the intellect whereas subconscious thoughts are the ones which it created in the past and they were stored on the subconscious mind which keeps recreating them naturally, as and when it finds fit.

As this person is emotionally dominated, he may not store much information related to this incident of urinary infection which happened in the past. An intellectual person may intentionally try to remember the names of all medicines prescribed for this problem whereas an emotional person may not bother much and he may simply keep the prescription at a safe place; so that he may find the name of the medicine in case he needs it. The same may happen to many other aspects related to this incident where the intellectual person may store all the information on his subconscious mind; and the emotional person may store all such information outside his mind.

Accordingly, the subconscious mind of this person doesn’t have much information related to this incident and hence it may not send many thoughts or pieces of information to his conscious mind, which saves time and effort. In addition to that, an emotional person doesn’t care much about thoughts and he lives by feelings. Hence even if a couple of thoughts may rise from his subconscious mind, he may not care paying intention to them because paying attention to thoughts needs intellect; and intellect is what he doesn’t believe in much.

You see, the incident is the same, but two different types of people react differently where one of them may lose his sleep over this incident and the other one may remain unaffected by it, almost completely. It should be noted that even if a urinary infection has happened in reality, the relevant steps are to be taken in the morning only. Hence there is no point in wasting time over this issue in the night, when you should be sleeping and putting your intellect to rest so that it may feel fresh in the morning. This way, it may actually be in a better position to handle this problem as it has recovered from fatigue.

This is just one incident and there are thousands of such incidents in everyone’s life. Though one of these incidents may not make much difference to disturb your peace of mind significantly; thousands of such incidents joined together can certainly do significant amount of damage to your peace of mind. Hence intellect should not be used at places where things can be managed without it, and it should only be used when its usage becomes necessary. Feeding each and every piece of information to your subconscious mind through your intellect can certainly give you instant advantages at times; this practice comes at high cost and hence it should be avoided.

Apart from disturbing your peace of mind, unnecessary use of intellect may not even let you enjoy properly, many times in your life. This is because you start thinking about things which should be enjoyed instead. This reminds me of a small but valuable incident from real life. Not long ago, I went to Haridwar which is a city famous for taking bath in Ganges, the holiest river in Hindu religion. It is believed that this city has places where the water of this river becomes holier compared to when it reaches most other places. Hence a number of people visit this city to take bath in Ganges.

Apart from the fact that this river is considered as the holiest river in Hindu religion, its water is cold and alive enough to make you feel immense joy, even if you’re not bathing for religious purposes. In addition to that, the scene around the intentionally prepared bathing venue is beautiful with hills all around; and it adds more value to the feeling of joy. Hence it may prove a beautiful experience, if you like bathing in rivers.

As we went at this place made for bathing and as we entered the life giving water of this river, the two of us enjoyed this water differently, based on our overall personalities. As soon as my friend entered, he said that there was more than usual sand in the water, which meant there’s rain on the hills. This river came from the hills and when it rained on the hills; more sand was added to this river. Moving ahead, he said that there was significant amount of soil also, which also suggested the evidence of rain as some hills offer soil instead of sand, when it rained.

Then he looked at a small tree branch and he said that this tree branch indicated that rain was accompanied by a storm also since tree branches had fallen into the river. He then spotted a bigger tree branch and he said that the storm seemed to be of significant strength as the river contained very big tree branches. It went on like this for some time, he told many other things; and then he changed the topic.

He told me that the water of Ganges had something special about it. He added that contrary to the water from many other sources, you might store this water in a plastic can or in any other type of pot or box for as long as twenty or fifty years or even longer; neither fungus would grow on it nor any other type of deformity would be witnessed. He mentioned that many scientists and researchers had been trying to find the cause behind it and he then started providing facts in support of the information given by him, while I kept enjoying the water of this river. This went on for about 30 to 40 minutes and he only stopped once we stepped out of the river.

As far as I was concerned, I never engaged in a conversation and he kept talking alone, as I intentionally stopped my intellect to interfere in the experience which was purely meant for my heart. While he kept explaining the facts related to the water of this river, he forgot to enjoy this water, which was so special according to him. On the other hand, I used my heart to get as much life out of this experience as I could and by the time we got out, I was feeling as fresh as I could.

You see, both of us bathed in this river but the experiences were almost the opposite. While I enjoyed and lived this bath to the fullest, my friend did everything but bathe. Standing in water or dipping yourself in water cannot be called bathing, especially when it comes to do so in a river like this one. Bathing in a river like this is an enhanced experience filled with feelings of joy; and joy can only be felt with heart and not with intellect. Hence according to me, he never bathed in this river on that day because he didn’t feel the life enriching water of this river even for a moment. All the time, he was busy using his intellect, when he should have been using his heart. You see, how much damage can your intellect do at times?

It should be noted that my friend may not have done all this with conscious effort and it may all have started naturally or so to say, through his subconscious mind. As he has developed the habit of using his intellect a lot, he may not be able to stop it from working, even when he wants to do so.

This is because he’s always given priority to intellect over heart and this preference has been stored on his subconscious mind. Accordingly, his subconscious mind suggests him to use intellect in each and every situation, even if such situation demands against the use of intellect in order to be handled in the best possible way. In addition to this, he keeps collecting almost each and every type of information related to everything that comes his way. This information gets stored on his subconscious mind and as it holds more and more information, it starts sending more and more thoughts to his conscious mind in all situations, where these thoughts may be relevant to those situations.

For instance, he stored all such information about this river and as soon as he stepped into this river, his subconscious mind started sending pieces of information related to this river, as they are naturally the most relevant thoughts at this time. Yes, there is no doubt that the thoughts related to this river are the most relevant thoughts in this situation but kindly understand, this situation suggests against the use of any types of thought at all, to start with.

This is not a situation to use thoughts or information and this situation demands the use of heart, feelings, emotions and the experience generated through all of them. Therefore, even the most relevant thought in this situation is equal to the most irrelevant thought in the same situation; as the concept of any type of thought is irrelevant in this situation to start with. Accordingly, any type of thought is as useless as any other type of thought and hence there is no difference between them, at this time.

This is the problem between your intellect and your heart. The way your intellect may see it is that the thoughts generated by your subconscious mind are the most relevant ones according to this situation, whereas your heart may find them as absurd as the thought of being bankrupt or any other thought for that matter. This is because all your heart wants at this time is to feel this moment and anything that stops it from doing so is equally bad. Since every type of thought is doing the same thing in this situation, which is to keep your heart away from enjoying the moment; they’re all the same and they’re all equally irrelevant to your heart.

Let’s now try to understand it in the language of intellect, so that it may become easy to understand for people who use little heart and a lot of intellect. Suppose you have Rs. 1000 only with you; you really need to get on a train in order to reach city X today, for an important assignment and the ticket costs Rs. 800. As you try to approach the ticket window, suppose someone comes to you and he offers to sell a branded travel bag for Rs. 500, when its retail price is Rs. 1000 or even more. Though you may certainly have purchased this bag at any other time if you had money as you need it, you can’t afford to do so as reaching the city X is much more important than this bag.

Considering another option, suppose the ticket seller offers you 50% discount or even more, if you choose to go to city Y instead of going of city X. He offers you this ticket for Rs. 900 when the routine price may be Rs. 2000. Let’s take another option and suppose he offers you the train ticket to city X for Rs. 400, if you choose to go tomorrow, instead of going today. You have no choice and you refuse these offers also as your intellect warns you that the train to city X must not be missed today. All these offers are intellectual offers and hence it should be easy to distinguish between them, for intellectual people.

Let’s first look at the relevance of these offers and try to arrange them in the order of relevance. The offer to go to city Y looks like the most irrelevant offer because you don’t’ have anything to do there and hence you may not want to purchase the ticket to this city, even for Rs. 100. The offer for travel bag may come higher in relevance because you need a travel bag, you like this brand and the discount is really good. Hence if you had extra money, you might have bought it. Since you don’t have that extra money, your intellect tells you to miss this opportunity.

The offer to go to city X tomorrow is the most relevant offer. This is because it takes you to the same city you want to go and in addition to that, it offers you the luxury to avail the second offer also; as you’ll have Rs. 600 with you, after you purchase the ticket for Rs. 400. With this money, you can purchase the travel bag and you can still have Rs. 100 with you. This is why this offer is the most relevant according to your situation. However, as you simply can’t afford to miss this train today, you choose to stay away from this offer also.

Since there are no emotions involved in all these choices and everything deals with needs generated by intellect; it should be easy to understand this example, for intellectual people. Moving ahead, we have reached this conclusion that offer three is the most relevant one followed by offer one and then followed by offer two. This may look perfect till this point but it is going to change completely, from here on.

Let’s now try to understand why do you have the need to refuse all these offers? Whether it is the most relevant offer or it is the least relevant offer, availing any one of them leads to the same as well as unwanted result in this situation; which is that you’ll miss this train today; which you simply can’t afford to do. Since the end result delivered by all of them is the same, they become equally relevant or so to say, they become equally irrelevant in this situation. It may not look convincing to some of you, but this is how it is.

Kindly understand that the relevance of all these offers should be considered only if you’re going to avail at least one of them. On the other hand, if you’re not in a position to avail any of these offers and many other such offers for that matter, what is the point in taking so much time to find out which one is more relevant among them?

If you keep thinking about them while in train; when you didn’t avail any of them; your intellect is creating illusions. This is because these offers became things of past as soon as you moved on. Hence they’re not there in reality at this time and you’re only creating them in your illusions. Therefore, any such offers should be considered for relevance, only if you’re going to avail one or more than one of them; and not otherwise.

A person with intellect alone may keep wasting time to find out the order of relevance of these offers even if he’s not going to avail any of them or even when he’s moved on and he’s in train. On the other hand, a person who has conscience along with intellect may not even think twice about these offers as they’re all equally irrelevant to him, at this stage. This is what your conscience does, it helps your body, intellect and heart operate in a smooth manner and stay away from unnecessary burdens.

I’m not against the use of intellect and what I’m trying to convey is that everything has a proper place and it should be used at that place only. The primary objective in each and every situation should be assessed first and only then, the entity best suitable to achieve that objective should be used. The primary objective of going to Haridwar was to enjoy bathing in Ganges and it was not to talk about Ganges, as that could have been done back at home.

Accordingly, any type of thought that prohibits the achievement of this objective is equally irrelevant. The relevance of a thought about Ganges should only be considered in comparison when a debate or discussion is going on, related to this topic. If such is the case, the information shared by my friend may certainly prove relevant.

However, this information is equal to crap at this time because this is not the time to think, this is the time to feel and live in the moment. When it comes to feel and live in the moment, only your heart knows how to do it and hence the command in all such situations should be passed on to your heart, of course under the guidance of your conscience as your heart has a tendency to go too far, in many situations : )

In a different situation, suppose a team of researchers approaches this river in order to conduct some research related to the water of this river. Suppose one of these researchers is an intellectual type and another one is primarily an emotional type though he may still possess significant amount of intellect as otherwise, he may not become a scientific researcher to start with.

As this team approaches this river, the intellectual one may be purely interested in scientific facts and other such information related to the water of this river, which may prove useful for the purpose of their research. On the other hand, the emotional person may partly conduct this research and he may partly be busy in enjoying the beauty of this river. If his emotions put pressure, he may even start taking bath in this river, while he’s on duty and he should be conducting research instead of bathing in this river.

You see, the river is the same but the situation has changed. In the first example, the primary objective for approaching this river is to enjoy bathing in this river and hence heart should be used in this case. On the other hand, the primary objective for approaching this river in the second case is to study its water. Accordingly in this case, the use of intellect is justified and the interference of heart should not be allowed or it should be kept to the minimum. It may not look like a big issue to some people if the emotional type enjoys the beauty of this river on duty and he even takes bath in it, the issue is much bigger than you may imagine.

 

Himanshu Shangari

 

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The same may happen in case of car, word travel, business and many other things and hence he may start getting more and more disturbed as well as unhappy with the passage of time when he should feel happy and at peace in reality. You see, heaven and hell is once again within you as even an amount of Rs. 1 billion can disturb you much more than relaxing you. Heaven is created by a specific type of mindset and the same goes in case of hell also. Therefore, all you have to do to invite heaven is to develop that type of mindset and nothing else.

When it comes to a spiritually advanced person, he may not plan anything until he receives money, which means for two weeks. Once he receives prize money and he wishes to buy a house, he may simply decide as to which of the attributes related to a house are the ones he requires the most and he may not pay much attention to the rest of them. Suppose his priority is to purchase a house at a peaceful location and the house should have a specific size or more. This is all he may care for and nothing else. Hence he may contact a dealer and he may let him know about his preferences. The dealer may suggest some houses, he may visit them and he may finalize one of them at the earliest.

It means he’s purchased a house and he’s not been disturbed even in the least, during this process. In fact, he may feel happy as he purchases this house. Since he didn’t go through dozens of houses, the information related to those houses may not disturb his vision or judgment when he finalizes a house on the spot. It should be noted that when you have seen any attributes of a house, which according to you are better than the one under consideration; it becomes difficult to buy one such house. This is because your intellect automatically starts comparing the house under consideration with the house that you can’t buy or you don’t want to buy as that house lacks something else which another house has, which further lacks something that another house or this house may have.

Hence most houses may lack one thing or the other and this feeling of lack has come from your own mind in reality, instead of being an actual lack. For example, if you prefer a house near a beach; you may buy one such house as soon as it meets your other requirements, if you’re a spiritually advanced person. On the other hand, if you’re a spiritually less developed person, you may keep looking for more and more options; even when you’ve found a house near a beach which meets your basic requirements. You do so in order to make sure that you get the best type of location you can and this is what creates problems.

A spiritually advanced person which means a person driven by his conscience puts importance to his needs and nothing more than that whereas for a spiritually less developed person; his need is the minimum he wants and it is not the maximum he wants. In fact, the second type of person has no defined definition for the maximum he wants and this is what creates problems. The minimum as well as the maximum for the first type of person are the same as well as reasonable and hence he may not have problems buying anything or getting anything done. It means he sticks to his preferences in sense and not in details.

Hence most houses near beach will do for him and so it becomes easy for him to meet his requirements. On the other hand, the second type of person considers it as the minimum requirement and the definition of maximum keeps changing in his case, and this is what troubles him. For instance, even if he comes across a house near a beach and this house meets his requirements related to location; he may still keep looking at more and more houses; so that he may choose the best location, according to him. It means though he has found in the first house, what he wanted when he planned for a house; he wants more now.

This means the definition of what may satisfy him keeps changing with time and this brings problems. In the beginning, he needs a house near a beach and let’s say in a particular area. The dealer has shown him one such house and it meets his requirements. Therefore, he should purchase this house if other criteria are met. However, he may ask the dealer to show him all other houses which are located near beach in the area he prefers. As he starts seeing more and more such houses, he’s only going to land in confusion and he’s very likely to face regrets later on.

He may choose one of these houses based on location which may be the best according to him; but this house may not be as big as another house for the same prize but which is not so good when it comes to location; according to him. Similarly; another one of these houses may have very good design as well as interiors but it may lack something else. This may keep happening inside his mind and the end result is that he may eventually end up buying a house, which is still not as good in some aspects; as the other houses seen by him are.

Hence as he purchases this house, he spends a lot of money on it but he still ends up having some disappointments related to certain aspects of this house. It should be noted that the aspects related to this house, which he thinks are not good enough may actually be good in reality and the reason he finds them not so good is because he’s comparing these aspects to those of the houses which have them better. This is what makes all the difference in the world. A person of the first type is only interested in what he needs and nothing else and so his requirements are easy to meet. He’s only focused on what he needs and he’s not focused on what he’s missing out which means he’s focused on what he’s getting and not on what he may get.

A person of the second type on the other hand, will almost always focus on what he’s missing; instead of focusing on what he’s getting. It should be noted that what you get is happening in reality as well as in the moment whereas what you may have got or what you may get is happening in past or future and hence it creates illusions. A person of the first type knows this secret and hence he’s focused on whatever he’s got, instead of worrying about what he may get or what he may have got. A person of the second type focuses on what he may get or what he may have got instead of focusing on what he’s got; and hence his peace of mind is disturbed.

For instance, a person of the first type lives only in the house he has purchased and hence he’s peaceful. When it comes to the second type of person, he may keep living in the houses he hasn’t purchased, instead of living in the one he’s purchased. It means whenever he looks at a house with a garden, he may start thinking about the house which had a garden but which he didn’t buy because the location of the house he bought is better than the location of that house, though his house may not have a garden. As this thought comes to his mind, he starts living in the past instead of living in the present.

Taking a look at another fact, suppose some relatives visit him and they plan to stay for a couple of days. When it comes to allot them rooms; he may find that this house has fewer rooms than the one he didn’t buy because the location of that house was not as good as that of this house. This may once again take him to the past and he may start imagining that if he had purchased that house; it would have been easier to accommodate these relatives. Once again, the peace of mind is disturbed on account of illusions which are based in the past.

This may happen in case of a number of other aspects also and as result; he may start doubting his decision of buying this house, though on a subconscious level. As this idea gains strength; his liking for this house may start reducing and at the same time; his peace of mind may be disturbed even more. This is because he may start missing the garden, the extra rooms and all other such things which this house doesn’t have, instead of focusing on the things that this house has but the other houses don’t have. It should be noted that if he found this house better than all those houses at the time of purchase, there must be things related to this house which are much better than those houses as otherwise, he wouldn’t have purchased it.

Hence there may be nothing much wrong with the house and all the problems are happening because of his mindset. As long as he keeps comparing this house to the other houses which he could have purchased; he may never be at peace. The moment he stops comparing this house to those houses, peace comes to him. It means the moment he stops living in the past where he made the decision to buy this house and he starts living in the present, which means he starts enjoying what he has in this house; he’s at peace.

A spiritually grown person knows this secret and hence he may not opt to look for more options, as soon as he finds something which meets his requirements. Since he hasn’t visited the house with a garden, the house with extra rooms and all other such houses, he has not much to compare with. Accordingly; it is easy for him to live in this house with peace as well as to enjoy this house in the best sense. This is because he saw this house, he liked it, he purchased it and that’s all he cares for. Even if he sees some of those houses before this one, he’ll forget them the moment he purchases this house. Once again, he finds peace.

An interesting thing is that a person of the first type may almost never talk about anything good related to his house to the others on purpose; though he may tell people that he loves this house if they ask him about it. On the other hand, a person of the second type may start describing a number of good things about his house to a number of people he interacts with; even when they’ve haven’t asked him about such things related to his house.

This happens due to the subconscious need to balance out the regrets which have formed in his subconscious mind, related to the purchase of this house. It means that through the praise he engages in and through the appreciation of other people as and when it comes, he’s trying to convince himself subconsciously that his decision to buy this house was in fact the right decision. Since this is an act of assertion, it simply means he regrets his decision to buy this house deep down; and he’s trying to balance it out through praise and appreciation. Since the first type of person is confident about the purchase; consciously as well as subconsciously; he doesn’t need to assert this fact through praise or appreciation.

It is only when you feel deep down that what you’re saying may not be true, that you try to assert it so that the other person may believe it or you may believe it. A husband comes home late as he was genuinely busy at office; he throws his things away and he doesn’t feel the need to explain anything. If the wife asks; he may simply tell there was a hell lot of extra work at the office.

He comes late another day and this time he was busy doing something that his wife doesn’t like. As soon as he enters; he may start telling that there was extra work at the office and he may start telling a number of things related to this fact. He may even call once or twice that he’ll be late due to extra work at office and he may even bring something that his wife likes, like her favorite ice cream. He may do so in order to distract her so that she may not take much interest in the delay thing as her mind may get busy with ice cream : )

His behavior is different in these two cases because in the first case, he’s honest on the conscious as well as subconscious level and hence he doesn’t need to add details since pure truth alone is sufficient and it doesn’t need assertions. However in the second case, he’s trying to look honest on conscious level when he’s dishonest on subconscious level as well as on conscious level.

Therefore, his subconscious mind fears this act and in order to balance out this fear; he may say or do a number of things to assert this fact that he was indeed at office. Hence assertion means something is wrong deep down; and you’re trying to cover it or you’re trying to ensure yourself that it is not. You try to cover it when even you know consciously that it is not true, like in this example of getting late from the office, where you know consciously that you’re lying.

You try to ensure yourself through assertion, when even you don’t know consciously that what you’re saying is not what you feel deep down; like in case of the house. It means deep down; you obviously feel that your decision of buying this house was wrong; but you don’t know it consciously. Hence when you assert this fact through acts of praise for this house; you’re trying to console or so to say, you’re trying to fool your subconscious mind that your decision was indeed right. However, you may never be able to do so because your subconscious mind is smart enough, not to be fooled by your acts of assertion : )

Suppose you win a game show and the host presents you with two options to choose from, as your prize. You can choose to have option A or option B. One of them offers Rs. 100 thousand and the other one offers Rs. 1 million. The catch is that you don’t know which one of them offers which amount of money. Suppose you pick option A and you win Rs. 100 thousand. If you’re a spiritually less evolved soul; you may find that the joy of getting Rs. 100 thousand is less than the pain of losing Rs. 1 million. The joy may leave you in a couple of days whereas the pain may stick there for a long period of time and it may take you back to this moment again and again.

It means you may often keep visiting this moment in your imagination and you may think what if you chose option B. You may start living the result of option B, which means you may start imagining how you might have enjoyed more if you had won Rs. 1 million. As soon as this illusionary enjoyment ends, you’re back to reality and you may not be able to enjoy the reality now.

This is because you’ve lived a number of things in your imagination, and those things are much better than the things happening in reality. Since you’ve drawn a comparison between imagination and reality; and the imagination is better as it can be most of the time; you’re not able to enjoy reality. Hence your imagination or illusions have spoiled the taste of reality and only you are to blame for it.

Let’s consider another option in the same case. Suppose as soon as you win Rs. 100 thousand; the host tells you that he played a prank on you and the option B in reality offered Rs. 10 thousand only. If this is the case, you may feel as happy as you can because out of the two options, you’ve got the better one and this is what makes you happy. It should be noted that you may not live option B in your imagination in this case at a later stage, because you have no regrets related to the decision made by you at this moment as that decision led you to the best possible result. Isn’t it surprising that though you’ve won Rs. 100 thousand in both these cases, you have regrets in the first case and you feel happy in the second case.

Once again, money is not the first thing for you and having the best possible option is important for you. It further means that your wish is the most important thing for you, than anything else. In the first case, you wished to win Rs. 1 million and hence you felt bad when you won Rs. 100 thousand. In the second case, the moment you know Rs. 1 million means Rs. 10 thousand in reality; your wish changes and this changed wish is what you’ve already got and hence you feel happy.

In the deepest sense, your true desire was to win the maximum available amount through this game show. As that doesn’t happen in the first case, you feel bad and as that happens in the second case; you feel good. It should be noted that the desire to achieve the best rises from your ego; whereas the desire to focus on doing your best rises from your conscience.

It means your ego always focuses on the result whereas your conscience always focuses on the karma and not on the result. As already mentioned; your conscience brings you better results in most cases; since you’re not focused on the result and you’re instead focused on the karma. It improves the quality of your karma which further improves the quality of the result; since the result is dependent on the quality of your karma, in most cases. Hence if you’re a conscience ruled person in this case; you’re simply interested in your karma of choosing an option and you don’t attach yourself to the results of any type, as that may end up disturbing your peace of mind. It means a person ruled by ego has high expectations of winning the best possible amount and hence he’ll be disturbed if it doesn’t happen.

It is not the amount of prize that disturbs him; it is the fact that his desire to win the maximum possible amount has not been fulfilled. A person ruled by conscience on the other hand; doesn’t create such a desire in this case and he may choose an option randomly. Whatever comes his way, he feels happy because he had no prize a moment ago and now he has it, which means he’s achieving something and not losing something. However, in case of a person ruled by ego; he’s already won the biggest possible prize in his imagination and if he gets a smaller prize now; it’s not profit and it’s instead loss for him.

This difference should be understood well in order to be properly aware of how your ego can create hell for you. Suppose the prizes are indeed Rs. 1 million and Rs. 100 thousand. A conscience ruled person doesn’t bother much about the result and he’s simply interested in his karma of choosing an option. If he wins Rs. 100 thousand; he’s happy. This is because the way he sees it is that he is having an extra amount of Rs. 100 thousand, compared to what he had a moment ago. Since he’s profiting in terms of money; it is but natural for him to feel happy.

When it comes to a person ruled by ego; he’s already won Rs. 1 million in his imagination and hence if he wins Rs. 100 thousand now; it’s not a profit of Rs. 100 thousand for him and it’s a loss of Rs. 900 thousand which is the difference between these two amounts.

Suppose you engage in a professional assignment on contract and an amount of Rs. 100,000 is committed to be paid to you once you complete this assignment. You finish this assignment within a period of time and when you ask for payment; the other party tells you that he can only give you Rs. 50,000 though he committed to give you Rs. 100,000. Suppose you don’t have any other option but to accept this amount. A sense of loss amounting to Rs.50,000 will disturb your mind and this sense of loss is a valid sense of loss, for a material person, though the saint may not bother much in this case also.

The reason this sense is valid is because it was committed by the other party that you’ll receive Rs. 100,000 thousand at the completion of this project. Hence this amount is well earned by you and if the other party is willing to pay only half of it; you’re losing the remaining half; which you duly deserve. It is fair to have a feeling of loss in this case because all of it is happening in reality. It means you deserve this amount in reality as you’ve worked for it and this amount was committed to you. Hence this loss is real loss and the pain caused by it is real pain.

However, when the game show host asks you to choose one option; all he’s committing is that you’ll get whatever that option represents; and he’s not committing to pay the maximum possible amount. A person ruled by conscience understands well in this case; that the option he chooses is the option he deserves and he’s got nothing to do with the option he misses out on. Hence he randomly chooses an option and whatever the result is; he’s happy because this is what he deserves according to him and this is what he’s getting.

When it comes to the person ruled by ego in this case; he’s already attached himself to the bigger prize which means he’s already won this prize in his imagination and all he needs to do now is to manifest it into reality. In case he wins the smaller amount; he suffers because he thinks what he deserves is not what he’s getting. Though in the first case of loss from assignment; his loss was based on reality; it is based on imagination or so to say it is based on illusions in the present case. Therefore, there is no problem in reality and he’s created this problem on his own. Hence only he’s responsible for the hell which comes his way in this case.

If you watch such game shows where the prize money is offered as a choice of picking an option when more than one option is available; here’s a tip which may help you decide whether the person choosing an option, which means the participant is dominated by ego or by conscience. More is the time taken by the participant in order to decide which option he should go for; more is the ego factor. Less is the time taken by the participant; less may be the ego factor which means higher conscience.

This is because the only reason you may take time in choosing between a number of prizes when you don’t know which option leads to which prize; is that you’ve already won the best prize in your imagination, assuming you’re this participant. Since you’re attached to this prize now; you want to make sure that you get this prize only. Hence your ego pushes you to do your best to make sure that you win the best prize and nothing else. This is why you become extra cautious because if you don’t win the best prize now, any other prize you win is a loss and not a profit; according to your ego; since it has already attached itself to the best prize.

It means you already have this prize in your imagination or in your illusions and if it doesn’t happen so in reality; it’s a loss according to your ego because you’ve lost what you had. On the other hand, a person ruled by conscience simply doesn’t like attaching to the results and that is why there is no point in wasting time, thinking about which option to choose and which not to choose. In the deepest sense, he understands that he’ll not choose the prize; and it is the prize which will choose him. It means whatever amount he is to win; he will win and whatever amount he’s not to win; he won’t win. It is as simple as that for him.

Hence he doesn’t bother at all and he randomly chooses an option at the earliest; whichever one he may feel like choosing at that time. Since he’s not won the best prize in his imagination or in his illusion; the only prize which is happening for him is the one which is happening in reality. Hence there is no confusion or disturbance since there is only one prize and as already explained earlier in this series of books; you need at least two options to create confusion or disturbance.

When it comes to the person ruled by ego, if he wins anything other than the best; there are two prizes and that is why there is confusion or disturbance within him. The first prize is the one he’s won in his illusion and the second one is the one he’s won in reality. Hence a comparison starts happening within him and since this comparison gives him the conclusion that the prize won by him in his imagination or illusion is better than the prize he’s won in realty; a sense of loss fills him and he suffers.

In the deepest sense, it is his desire to win the best prize, which makes him win it in his illusions before he chooses an option and this is what may bring hell to him if he doesn’t win the best prize in realty. Once again, he suffers because he’s not focused on the karma and he’s focused on the result. No matter how many situations related to real life you analyze; you’ll find that sorrow comes to you only when you focus on results instead of focusing on your karma; and the reason you focus on results is your desire to achieve such results.

We’re back to the root of all your joys and sorrows; which is the desire element. Hence if you don’t want to feel bad later on; don’t create too many desires. A spiritually advanced person in this case doesn’t create any specific wish and he’s open to welcome anything that comes his way. It means if he wins Rs. 100 thousand through option A when option B gives Rs. 1 million, he’s only interested in what he can do with Rs. 100 thousand, instead of being interested in what he could have done with Rs. 1 million. Hence all his focus is fixed on what he has, which means on the moment he has and not on what he doesn’t have; which means a moment of past or future.

Since it is the job of your intellect to draw comparisons and create visions based on those comparisons; growing it beyond healthy levels can be troublesome. It should be noted that as long as your conscience is strong enough to control your intellect; any amount of intellect is healthy, even if it reaches its optimum limit. This is because your conscience can stop your intellect from doing anything at any time. Hence it can stop your intellect from drawing any comparisons and it may instead let your heart feel the joy that the present moment brings. However, if your conscience is not strong, which automatically means your ego is strong as already explained; more intellect only means more problems in the long run. If this is the case, the last thing you may have is peace of mind.

Your intellect can certainly help you achieve more in life, when it comes to the resources which can give you pleasure. However, it doesn’t have the ability to enjoy those resources and this ability is reserved with your heart. Hence a person dominated by intellect may keep collecting more, he may keep engaging in comparisons of different types like what he has achieved verses what he may have achieved or what he may achieve in future. All these activities leave no energy for your heart to enjoy and hence you may have everything but you may enjoy nothing. It means you may have all the things which can make your life enjoyable; you may still not be able to enjoy your life; in the absence of a significantly grown heart or emotional plane.

The word life in its deepest sense doesn’t mean how many resources or recognitions you have gathered till a particular point in time; it means how much you have enjoyed or lived the resources, recognitions or any other things available to you; till that point in time. Life means to live, to live means to feel and experience; and to feel and experience means heart. It is the job of your intellect to help you get the resources you need in order to enjoy life and do some other important things; but that’s all it can do and enjoying those resources or living the moments is the job of your heart. There is no doubt that without heart, we may all simply turn into machines as the major difference between humans and machines is that we have hearts and they don’t have them.

A human being has a physical body, intellect and heart whereas a machine has a physical body and intellect; though the latter doesn’t have ego and conscience as well. Though a machine can be physically more efficient and mentally faster than a human being, it can never even think of competing with him, when it comes to the domain of feelings and emotions as it doesn’t have heart; at least till his point. It may look like a small difference to some people but it can change each and everything at times.

For instance, imagine a machine is installed at a location and the job of this machine is to dispense water bottles when a coin of specific denomination, say Rs. 1 is fed into it. This machine may certainly reduce human effort as it doesn’t get tired due to which it can work 24 hours a day and it can also do all the calculations without even a single error. Suppose someone suddenly suffers from an intense physical condition like a fit or an attack, close to this machine, he needs water at the earliest and he as well as a couple of people around him don’t have this coin or any coin for that matter.

If this machine is the only source of water around this person; this is when everything changes. As this machine doesn’t have heart, it doesn’t have emotions and hence it can’t feel anything. Accordingly, it may never consider offering a bottle of water free of cost; even if the person chokes to death in need of water, in front of this machine.

 

Himanshu Shangari

 

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You may consciously feel that you’re doing so due to a positive reason but in reality, your subconscious mind is using the emotions of your family members to keep you away from this conference. This is because the conference has fixed dates, it is an important conference, such events take place only once or twice every year and you gain a lot through them; whenever they happen. Hence you try your best not to miss them; but that only happens until you’re not biased.

It might have happened in the past also and you might have chosen to postpone the vacation by a week or so. Your wife might have had some plans for that week and your son might have cried for the original schedule. However, when you looked into all the things in a fair way, you might have concluded that your son’s wish and your wife’s plans were not as important as this conference was. It means your wife didn’t have things to do, which might be equal or more in importance, compared to this conference.

In fact, they might be routine things like a get together with some of her friends or a shopping schedule, which might be adjusted to later dates; without much trouble. When it came to your son, he’s not losing much as the vacation was only being delayed by a weak and it was not being cancelled. Hence he might also not have a valid reason and he might be trying to convince you, more because he didn’t have the ability to differentiate between the importance of this conference and the timelines of this vacation. Accordingly, you decided to postpone the vacation for a week or so and everything was managed without much trouble.

It should be noted that all of us may face situations where two or more important things may clash with each other, when it comes to timelines or choices. These are the times when you have to make some adjustments and these are the times which test your spiritual growth. As a general rule, you should compromise the thing which is relatively less important out of two or more things being considered and this importance has to be decided fairly. For instance, the vacation can be enjoyed after a week also; but the same choice is not available in case of conference.

Yes, it is right that family is very important but kindly understand that your profession is also very important as it is primarily because of the incomes generated through your profession that you may be able to afford such vacations to start with. Hence a proper balance needs to be reached between your professional affairs and personal affairs. Proper balance means avoiding the extremes; where your heart lies on one extreme and your intellect lies on the other. If you always choose to go with the intellect, you may end up spoiling your relationships with your loved ones whereas if you always choose to go with your heart, you may end up spoiling your profession.

Therefore, you should find a balance between these two entities so that your personal life and profession affect each other negatively, in the minimum possible manner. In the present case, the loss occurred by postponing the family vacation is much smaller compared to the loss occurred by missing this conference. In fact, you may add another day or some extra value to your family vacation when you postpone it; in order to compensate for the delay and this gesture may make this vacation even better than before. Hence this front is manageable without much loss in this case.

However, missing this conference is a permanent loss and it can’t be reversed. It means that most of the opportunities missed by staying away from this conference may be missed forever. For instance, you may have gained additional and updated information related to your profession, you may have met important people from across the globe and you may have discovered new partners or friends as you did in the past, whenever you participated. Hence the loss on this front is much bigger than the loss on family front. Accordingly, you should choose to postpone the vacation for a week or so in order to attend to this conference.

It should be noted that the family should also be given due importance or otherwise, you may once again choose to go with the intellectual extreme. For instance, if you tell your family that you may not be able to go on this vacation due to this conference and you may not go even after this conference as you have other things to do on professional front, this action may create problems. This is because you’re altogether ignoring your family for your profession and if these things keep happening; you may eventually end up losing your family. Hence postponing this vacation for a week or so is a good choice in this case whereas cancelling it or missing the conference are biased acts and hence they should be avoided.

Coming back to the point, since your heart is biased against your profession; you may choose to miss this conference for the sake of your family. It may happen in case of many other such things or events related to your profession and as it keeps happening; you may start suffering on professional front. Taking a look at one more such act; suppose you go to your clinic or hospital at about 10 AM and you come back at 8 AM, though you may take a break for an hour; to have your lunch. It means your operative hours are from 10 AM to 8 AM in general; let’s say from Monday to Saturday. As per the demand of your job; you may also have been offering urgent consultations or even urgent home visits; in cases of emergency.

As the situation changes; you may stop offering these services and doing so may affect your profession in a negative way. Once again, it may all happen naturally and you may not have conscious knowledge of this fact that it is happening as a result of the conspiracy planned by your heart and your subconscious mind. For instance, you may come home one day and you may feel more tired than usual. You may ignore it but it may start happening on daily basis and this is what may draw your conscious attention.

This problem may start bothering you more and more with the passage of time and in order to manage this stress, you may choose to disengage from offering urgent consultations during your non working hours. Yes, your heart and subconscious mind can create physical as well as mental fatigue also. In fact, a number of people having such problems may have them because they’re doing something for living, which their hearts don’t like.

If your heart doesn’t like something, your subconscious mind may oppose your efforts towards this thing. It means your conscious mind tries to do it and your subconscious mind tries to stop it. Hence there is friction between these two and this friction makes you tired relatively soon. It’s like if you choose to run against strong wind, you’ll get tired soon whereas if you choose to run with its flow, you’ll be able to cover much more distance with the same amount of effort.

Hence you may stop offering such services and this may have negative impact on your profession. Some of your regular clients may have to avail the services of other doctors in cases of urgency; and most of them may choose to stick to those doctors. This is because you’re not available for them when they need you the most, as this is what the meaning of urgency is. Hence you may lose more business and you may not even feel responsible.

This is because if you try to resume these services, your health may start going bad again; and you may have to stop these services once again. A number of other such things may affect your profession negatively. Though you may try to do your best to succeed in this profession, this effort is only your conscious effort and it may not be enough to win over the resistance offered by your heart and subconscious mind. Hence your profession may eventually go down, though you may be doing your best to make it better. You see, how much is at stake when you choose to go against your heart : )

There are two important things to note here. The first thing is that you may not have any conscious knowledge of the fact that you’re spoiling your profession intentionally as all this is happening subconsciously. The second fact is that even though your profession is going down; you may not bother deep down and on the contrary; you may have a strange type of subconscious relief when it happens.

This is because your subconscious mind knows that if this profession deteriorates to the point where it fails to generate sufficient incomes in future, you may eventually move out of it on the basis of circumstances; and that gives you the choice to engage in another profession which may be singing. It should be noted that if your profession fails on the basis of circumstances which are called bad luck in general; even your father may not force you to stick to it as you’re not able to earn much through it. Hence your heart and subconscious mind may engage in a conspiracy to destroy your medical profession and all this may happen without your conscious knowledge, so that you may remain completely free of conscious guilt of destroying your profession.

An interesting thing is that your heart and subconscious mind are taking revenge upon your father; and that too without your conscious knowledge. This is because as your profession starts going down despite your best conscious efforts to make it better; your father may start feeling guilty on the subconscious level first; and then on the conscious level even. He’s the one who compelled you to continue being a doctor even when you didn’t want to do so. Accordingly, it is he who may bear the maximum percentage of responsibility for your professional failure; first on subconscious level and then on conscious level.

This is the reason why a number of sons may fail at professions or things that they don’t want to do but their fathers want them to do. Though these sons may try their best on conscious level, in order to achieve success; they may end up failing. Since they’re doing so against the wishes of their hearts; their hearts and subconscious minds conspire against them in hidden ways. As a result, they fail and their fathers may feel subconscious or even conscious guilt of pushing them into these things or professions; depending on the exact personalities of their fathers. Though the sons may fail despite their best conscious efforts; they may feel a strange type of subconscious joy through this failure.

This joy is rising because their hearts have succeeded in getting them away from something they don’t like. It is the time to note that you simply can’t succeed in most things; as long as your heart is not willing to do them; particularly the things which need a series of actions over a period of time; like a profession or a relationship. The only exception to this rule is for the people who are highly dominated by their intellects as well as egos; as they may be able to do things for a long period of time; even if their hearts don’t like them. However, even these people may not like or enjoy their actions and they may keep engaging in such actions; more like machines or out of compulsion. This is because liking or joy comes from heart and as long as your heart is against something; you’re never going to like it.

Talking about compulsions; a powerful politician may have engaged in a number of negative acts of hurting other people in order to gain power. He may not have liked these acts and he may have even started disliking them at a point in time. However, he may get trapped in the course of events and hence he may keep engaging in such acts. It means if he gets out of politics now and he loses the authority he has, he fears that the people he troubled a lot may now trouble him a lot; once he becomes an ordinary man.

Hence he may keep working hard to maintain his authority and in order to do so; he may have to engage in even more negative acts; as such acts are compulsory to succeed in politics; most of the time. It means this politician is trapped in a vicious circle and even if he wants to get out of it now; he may not do so because of fear of getting hurt.

Your heart may not be good at making calculations like your intellect but you simply can’t afford to ignore your heart if you truly want to live. This is because even the best type of authority or the biggest amount of money can’t give you any joy or pleasure; if you ignore your heart. Feelings like joy, pleasure, satisfaction and happiness are dealt with by your heart and you simply can’t have them if you don’t pay attention to your heart. Hence isolate intellectual or intellectual ego type people may make significant material progress in their lives; but they may live as well as die unsatisfied as well as unhappy; because of ignoring their hearts.

This is why there’s a need to strike balance between your intellect and your heart because the intellect brings more resources, comfort and safety to your life whereas the heart brings life to your life. It means that in reality; you have no life without heart though you may seem to have one. In the absence of heart, you’re only like a machine which is doing one thing after the other but which is certainly not living in the truest sense. This is because a machine is serving as a tool for the others and it doesn’t know anything about itself. Likewise, people who don’t have significantly developed emotional planes may not be able to live in the deepest sense and they may only be able to operate like machines.

9 Coming back to the topic; the signs of discomfort of any type are there for you to pay attention to them on conscious level; so that certain things may be fixed at the earliest; depending on the things in question. These issues may be related to your body; they may be related to your intellect or they may be related to your heart; like in the recent example.

It should be noted that the reason your subconscious mind sends you such strong signs in case of this example is that it notifies you about the fact that your heart is not comfortable with medical profession and hence; conscious action is required. Proper conscious action in this case is to get out of this profession and start trying your luck in something you want.

Even if your father or someone else doesn’t agree; face them consciously and tell them that this is what you want and this is what you’re going to do. It may seem difficult, you may upset your father and the new profession may come with higher risks. However, this much loss is nothing compared to the loss you’re going to take if you choose to ignore these messages and let your subconscious mind deal with this matter. As you’ve already seen, your relationship with your father may go very bad in this case; you may eventually end up moving away from medical profession and you may also waste a number of important years of your life; feeling discomfort when you could have spent those years in your comfort zone.

Kindly understand that when your heart is completely into something or someone; your performance related to that thing or person improves very fast. This is because complete heart into something means complete liking; complete liking means complete focus; complete focus means all your energy being used for that job or person; which further means success at the earliest. On the other hand, your heart may keep distracting you every now and then; if you choose to engage in a job or with a person it doesn’t like or it dislikes. This is why listening to your heart can improve your chances of success, almost in every sphere of your life.

It should be noted that when it comes to relationships or enjoying life in general; you should let your heart decide most of the things related to these fields as these fields are dominated by your heart. However, when it comes to profession; the choice of profession should be made by your heart and the operations should be taken over or assisted by your intellect; depending on the type of profession you’re engaging in. For instance, you should choose to become a singer if your heart strongly motivates you to do so. However, once you become a singer; you should practice all the professional codes which singers are supposed to practice; and that comes through intellect.

It means talent primarily comes through heart and professionalism comes through intellect. Since a successful professional needs them both; he should use his heart to develop talent and he should use his intellect to build professionalism. As already mentioned many times; balance is the key for everything and spiritual growth is what brings more and more balance. This is because more spiritual growth means more conscience and more conscience means more balance.

Let’s go back to the topic which says your intellect may cramp your subconscious mind with more and more information related to various fields. More cramped your subconscious mind becomes due to the storage of more and more information on it; more is the number of thoughts it may keep sending to your conscious mind and accordingly; more difficult you may find to be at peace. This is because absolute peace is the state of mind when you have no thought at all, not about your past and not about your future. Absolute peace of mind enables you to live and enjoy in the present moment and it stops you from living in the past or in the future.

It is the time to know that as long as you’re living in present which means in the moment, your peace of mind may not be disturbed much and it may happen only when you’re either living in the past or in the future. It may seem difficult to understand as some people may think they can be disturbed a lot in the present also; it is not so in reality; when you look at this fact in its deepest sense. For example, if you face a loss of Rs. 1 million due to any reason; you may start feeling disturbed and you may find that this disturbance is happening in the present. But this is only what you may think and this is not so in reality.

The reason this loss is bothering you is because your intellect may tell you about a number of things that you may not be able to do in future in the absence of this money; and hence you feel worried or disturbed. Kindly note this worry is coming from the future; and not from the present. For instance, you may have paid for a new house in part and the remaining amount of money is supposed to be paid after a month. As soon as you face this loss, the first thing that may come to your mind is that you won’t be able to pay the remaining amount now, the deal for this house may fail or get delayed, you may even have to lose the money that you have already paid and a number of other thoughts related to this deal.

All this is happening either in the past or in the future and nothing is happening in the present. The money that you’ve already paid lies in the past. The worry that you may lose that money or even this house is based in the future and hence none of them lies in the present. Accordingly; your worries are based in the past or in the future and they’re not based in the present. Have you noticed the animals don’t worry much and the same happens in case of kids also?

The reason this happens is that none of them has intellect developed to the extent; which can help them draw so many imaginary scenes related to past as well as future. Since all they can do is to live in the present moment, their peace of mind can’t be disturbed, though they can face some physical problems in the present. However, as soon as those problems go away, they start being happy again.

For example, if you lose Rs. 1 million on a day and this amount means a lot to you; you may not be able to enjoy almost anything for one, two or even for three days; until you’ve significantly recovered from this shock. It means even when the loss becomes an event of past after three days; you keep worrying about it as you keep reliving the moment of loss in your mind.

Now imagine a baby facing any type of problem at all; like he’s badly in need of milk for the last 30 minutes and he’s crying like hell. As soon as he gets milk; he starts smiling or he stops crying. Imagine another situation where you keep telling a baby that he won’t have any milk for the coming five or ten days, from tomorrow onward. As long as this baby doesn’t develop intellect to process this information and draw future possibilities leading to worry; he’ll remain unaffected since he’s getting milk as of now and this is all that matters to him.

For instance, if in an unfortunate instance, the mother of a baby dies; you won’t find him crying at that moment or at any moment at all; except the moments he needs his mother, like for milk. It means he cries only when he faces problems in the present and he doesn’t bother about the past or the future. As soon as you start feeding this baby with a bottle of milk; his worry is gone once again because there is no problem in the present now; though he may take some time to adjust feeding from a bottle and hence he may cry because of that. The same happens in case of animals and all other species which don’t have significant amount of intellect; and they don’t worry about the past or about the future.

This is due to the reason that it is the job of the intellect to draw imaginary scenarios for future; based on the events happening in present; or even those happening in the past or future. These scenarios are happening only in your imagination and in reality, they may or may not happen in the future; and they may not have happened in the past. This is how your intellect can disturb your peace of mind by making you live in future or in past; instead of letting you live in the present.

For instance, if you’re told that you’ll be given no food for two days starting from tomorrow though you can eat as much as you want today, you’ll start living in the future at once; and hence you won’t be able to enjoy the food which you may have today, in the same way as you do in general. This is because you’re living in tomorrow when you won’t have food and hence you’re not able to enjoy the present moment which offers plenty of food. Though you may eat a lot of food today; it is not because you want to eat it; it is because you have to eat it since you’re living in the future, which offers no food.

It means you’re eating a lot of food only for your future and not for your present moment. Hence this food can’t give you pleasure and even when your stomach is absolutely filled, you may still feel worried about future; instead of feeling satisfied on account of having more than sufficient food, which should be your natural response in such a case. Your own mindset is responsible for each type of pleasure or pain you may face; and outside situations are only the media which may provide it with reasons to feel good or bad.

It should be noted that even the positive type of future or past scenarios created by your intellect can disturb your peace of mind. For instance, if you suddenly come to know that you’ve hit a jackpot for Rs. 1 billion, this amount will be given to you after two weeks and it means a lot for you; your peace of mind may be gone at once. This is because your intellect may start drawing imaginary scenarios for your future, related to what you may be able to do with this amount of money. It may take you to future where you may be purchasing a big house, starting a business, taking a world tour, buying expensive cars and doing many other such things. Though this is a good type of disturbance; it is still disturbance.

Accordingly, you may feel restless or anxious and you may once again not be able to have peace of mind. You may not be able to even sleep properly for many days in this case also; as your mental plane may simply not come to rest and it may keep drawing more and more scenarios for your future. Hence the planning for your future may keep happening continuously in your mind; as long as you’ve sorted everything out.

This may certainly help you perform certain things in a better way in future though not necessarily; it comes at a high cost. The time you should spend enjoying the present moment which is real; is spent in the future or in the past which are imaginary or so to say illusionary. Illusion is something which you see happening though it is not happening in reality. Though a big house may become real in the future because of the amount you’ve won through the jackpot; it only exists in your imagination at this time and hence it is an illusion at this time. Therefore, it may become reality after a month or two but it is certainly an illusion at this time.

This is where the approach of a spiritually advanced person differs from a spiritually less developed person. If the former wins this jackpot, he’ll enjoy the moment and he won’t bother much about the future. Once he receives this amount, he may start considering things to do one by one and he may start doing them one by one. It means he may think of buying a car; he may buy it; he may then think of buying a house and he may buy it.

However, he may not waste his time planning about this house or car for a number of days until he actually buys them; and he may decide everything on the spot which means in the present. For instance, he may simply think that he’ll buy a house and a car with this money when he receives it and that’s all. He may then stop bothering about what type of house or what type of car; and he may start enjoying the present moment in whichever way he wants. For instance, if he feels like eating a specific food item at that time; he may start doing so instead of spending this moment in future; doing all the planning.

A spiritually less developed person on the other hand may not remain at peace until he’s done each and everything he wants to do with this money. If he thinks about purchasing a house, it doesn’t stop here and this house may keep happening in his imagination until it has happened in reality. It means he may start planning what type of house, what location, how many rooms and many other things. He may even start looking at a number of houses on the internet or by visiting them personally and he may start comparing them for size, comfort, location, cost and other factors.

In the deepest sense, it may only increase the level of his anxiety as well as that of his illusions. This is because he may waste significant amount of time looking at the same houses again and again, before he actually has money. Another significant problem which may happen is that he may get attached to one or two of these houses which means he may truly want to buy them. If he’s not able to buy one such house for any reason later on; like the house may already have been sold by the time he approaches the owner after receiving the prize money, disappointment is bound to come. Though he may buy another house, the regret of not being able to buy that particular house may remain there for a long period of time and it may disturb his peace of mind.

Another thing which may happen is that as he keeps looking at more and more houses on the internet or through personal visits; he may find most of them lacking one thing or the other which another house has. It means he may like a house very much when it comes to the space it has or the design it has; but he may not like its location. He may like the location of another house but he may not like the way it is built or the size it has. This may happen in case of many other attributes related to various houses and hence he may end up confused and restless, after looking at more and more houses.

This is because his intellect may start creating an imaginary house which has the location of one house he likes; the size of another house he likes; the comfort of yet another house he likes and so on. Hence his intellect may create an illusionary house which is the mixture of such attributes from these different houses; which he likes the most about them. In simple words, his intellect may create an illusionary picture of a perfect house in future and this illusion may end up disturbing him as it may very likely not happen in reality.

 

Himanshu Shangari

 

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The Heart

One of the most wonderful things about heart is that it has the ability to live in the moment and it can assign value to things, people or places on the spot, unlike the intellect. Hence your heart doesn’t try to fill a large part of your subconscious mind with different types of information unlike your intellect; and this fact helps you perform better. This is due to the reason that more cramped is your subconscious mind, more thoughts it may keep sending to your conscious mind and accordingly, more disturbed you may feel.

People who think intellect is better than heart should know at this point that intellect can do much more damage to your life as well as to your overall personality than heart. The intellect keeps gathering more and more information about a number of things, it stores such information on your subconscious mind and it uses this information later on, in order to reduce the time taken by you to do the jobs related to this information. As there is a probability that you may have to do any type of job in future; your intellect keeps feeding information related to as many fields on your subconscious mind; as it can.

More intellectual you are, more is the capacity of your mental plane to work and accordingly; you tend to store more and more information on your subconscious mind because this is what the job of your intellect is. This is why people dominated by intellect keep learning more and more new things as this is what intellect loves the most. As they store more information on their subconscious minds, they’re better equipped to handle a number of situations which require the application of intellect, compared to a person with average amount of intellect. However, this blessing comes at a price and sometimes; this price may be too high to pay.

As you keep storing more and more information on your subconscious mind, it starts getting cramped with information and accordingly; you may find it difficult to have peace of mind. This is the time to know that your subconscious mind almost never sleeps and even when your body and conscious mind are sleeping; it keeps working. This is why you’re able to dream while sleeping, as your subconscious mind is working and it is creating those dreams. The kinds of dreams you may have depend on your overall personality type as well as on the most recent activities you’ve done or not done. We’ll deal with this topic, later on.

The concept called sleep means that your body and your conscious mind come to rest whereas your subconscious mind keeps working in order to maintain the compulsory functions of your body as well as in order to do some other things. If your subconscious mind also goes to complete rest; you may not even be able to breathe and you may die. Though breathing may look like happening naturally to you, which means it may seem to happen without effort; it does require effort like everything else. It should be noted that each and every type of activity needs some amount of effort or energy in order to take place and it can’t happen without effort or energy.

Since your subconscious mind takes care of functions like breathing, digestion and other such activities; they seem to happen without effort, which means naturally. It has already been explained that everything your subconscious mind does remains hidden from your conscious knowledge and hence it looks like happening naturally to you, which means without effort. This is why you feel like all these activities are happening naturally though due amount of effort is done by your subconscious mind.

This brings us to another important term called health. In the language of the mind, the state of perfect health may be defined as the state where all the compulsory functions of your body are executed by your subconscious mind and your conscious mind doesn’t have to pay much attention to them. Hence when you’re healthy in terms of physical, mental and emotional health; you don’t feel anything at all, related to these planes as everything is being done on the subconscious level and hence it seems like happening naturally.

It means your body is in such state of health that all its operations can be carried out by your subconscious mind and hence you don’t need conscious attention to carry out these operations. This state of affairs may continue as long as your subconscious mind alone is capable of doing so. Whenever it finds that it may not be able to maintain the physical health of your body on its own or whenever it finds that something happening to your body is worthy of being noted by your conscious mind either in order to engage in some effort or in order to take some type of precaution, it starts sending signals to your conscious mind.

These signals draw the attention of your conscious mind and this is the time you start feeling the problematic area of your body in a conscious way. When that happens, you don’t remain oblivious to this area like you do in general and it starts attracting your conscious attention again and again. For example, if you sustain an injury on your leg; the state of natural health is disturbed as you can actively feel that part of your leg now, until you recover from this injury. As soon as you sustain this injury; your subconscious mind starts working towards taking care of this injury with the help of your immune system and at the same time, it starts sending signals to your conscious mind to the effect that something worthy of paying attention has happened to this body part of yours.

As a result, you may start having a feeling of pain around this area of your leg and this pain draws your conscious attention again and again. The same part of your body didn’t draw any attention when it was normal and hence you may not have actively felt it even. For instance, if this injury has happened around your knee, you may feel your knee again and again, through the pain generated by this injury or so to say; by your subconscious mind. However, you may not have actively felt the presence of this part before this injury happened; as everything was being handled by your subconscious mind and hence it remained hidden.

Your subconscious mind is sending you two messages through this pain. The first message is that you should be consciously aware that something wrong has happened to this body part and hence you should take precautions related to this body part; until this problem is fixed altogether. Accordingly; you feel the need to consciously engage in effort in order to keep this body part away from hitting against something as that may increase the quantum of this injury. As you consciously protect this body part until it recovers, the recovery becomes faster since you consciously ensure that you don’t do anything which may delay the process of recovery.

As long as your conscious attention is required, your subconscious mind may keep sending you signals and accordingly; you may keep paying attention to this body part. Throughout this process which may happen over a couple of weeks, you may be consciously aware of this body part of yours; more than you are generally aware of it and more than any other body part of yours during this time.

This is because all other body parts are working normally and hence your subconscious mind is taking care of the operations related to them. This body part has something wrong with it due to which, your conscious attention is required. Since conscious attention or effort means knowledge or awareness; you’re duly aware of this body part of yours until it recovers completely and your subconscious mind takes over this operation once again.

The amount of conscious attention you may require as well as the period for which you may require this attention; is dependent on the quantum of injury sustained by you. If your subconscious mind feels that the injury is not serious and it can fix this injury in a short period of time; messages of pain with mild intensity may be sent to your conscious mind until this injury goes away.

However, if your subconscious mind feels that the injury may take long or very long or it feels that the resources that it has may not be sufficient to handle this injury and outside resources are required; it may send the second type of message by increasing the amount of pain. It may send strong or very strong messages of pain so that your conscious mind may pay more attention to this body part and it may also engage in effort to help your subconscious mind in fighting this injury. This means that the first type of message tells your conscious mind to take caution and the second type of message tells your conscious mind to help.

Hence less pain means your subconscious mind doesn’t need much help from your conscious mind in order to fix this injury. This is why when you sustain minor injuries like bruises; you don’t feel like doing anything to fix them and you know that your body will automatically fix them in a couple of days. Your subconscious mind sends signals of pain which are mild in strength and through experience; you know that mild pain means your body or so to say; your subconscious mind will take care of this injury.

However, if you sustain a serious injury like a deep wound sustained by a sharp object; the quantum of pain felt by you may be high or very high. This happens because your subconscious mind realizes that much more effort and time may be required to heal this injury and your conscious help is also required. The first type of conscious help is to pay due attention that you don’t do anything which deteriorates this injury; like exposing it to water or something else of the same kind. Hence you may consciously start protecting this wound from things which may aggravate the injury.

The second type of help is the outside help which may be applied in the form of medicines, bandages or anything else which helps your body recover from this injury at the earliest. Have you ever felt that whenever you come across an injury; the need to go to the doctor becomes stronger as the quantum of pain generated by such injury increases? It means if an injury doesn’t give you much pain, you may not bother going to a doctor or availing medical help of any type. This is because you know on subconscious level that your immune system will fix it on its own and hence you don’t bother going to a doctor.

However, if an injury generates high or very high amount of pain; you may run for medical help at the earliest. This is because through this pain, your subconscious mind is telling you that the resources within your body may take very long to overcome this injury and outside resources may help it recover faster. Hence you may avail medical help so that this injury may be fixed at the earliest. Since availing medical help is the job of your conscious mind, this is why such signals of strong pain are sent to it by your subconscious mind.

As your conscious mind is also involved in this battle, you may actively feel this body part, as long as the injury is there. As soon as the quantum of injury drops below a level which your subconscious mind feels comfortable with; the pain reduces and you start paying less and less attention to this body part; until the injury goes away completely and you stop feeling this body part once again.

Hence pain or discomfort of any type is your subconscious response to make your conscious mind aware about the fact that something wrong has happened and it needs your conscious attention. It means that though some people may hate the feeling of pain which comes with an injury; this pain is your friend in reality, as it helps you assess your state of health as well as your chances of recovery at any point in time. Therefore, pain should not be hated and it should be welcomed because this pain is nothing but your subconscious mind’s way of telling you that you need to fix something which has gone wrong and which may become even worse if you don’t pay conscious attention to it in time.

Suppose you’re taking a walk in a park near your house when a neighbor comes running towards you and he shouts that your house has caught fire. As soon as you hear this news; a number of things happen inside you, depending on your personality type. Your intellect may start calculating the losses which may occur due to this incident of fire and hence it may give you reasons to worry. Your heart may start bothering about some people, some things or even the entire house; whichever of them it is attached to. As a result, it may add a feeling of discomfort and the intensity of this discomfort is directly proportional to the intensity of your emotional attachment to these things or people.

Your ego may also start worrying about this incident in its own way because if your house burns down completely; you may become the object of sympathy as you may become homeless for some time. Since your ego may have invested much time and effort in building or decorating this house, a strong feeling of pain may be generated by your ego also. Your conscience may also be worried about the well being of people in the house as well as about the well being of the other houses and the people in those houses.

It means your conscience may not care for the house itself or the things in the house, it may get worried for the people and it may also be concerned with facts like what if this fire spreads and catches other people’s houses also? Hence your conscience may also suggest you to act at the earliest, though this suggestion may not be accompanied by pain or strong discomfort, like in the first three cases. As a result, you may start running towards your house and on the way; you may start thinking about the ways you may get the appropriate type of help and resources to fix this problem.

When you analyze the situation this far, you may find that though the information provided by your neighbor has filled you with discomfort, you don’t dislike him and in fact you may be thankful to him. This is because he has only tried to bring your conscious attention to something wrong happening to things or people you care for. Hence you don’t curse him for causing you pain or discomfort as it is the most welcome type of pain or discomfort, because it gives you a chance to fix certain things at the earliest.

The same happens when your body sustains an injury. Your subconscious mind informs your conscious mind through signals of pain that something is wrong and it needs to be fixed. Hence you should welcome pain and you should not hate it because it is trying to draw your attention to something which needs to be fixed at the earliest. The same theory applies in case of other types of discomforts like any type of fever. Any type of fever is not your enemy and it is your friend in fact. When you suffer from fever, it is the way through which your subconscious mind tells your conscious mind that a problem has happened inside your body. Hence your conscious attention as well as conscious effort to fix this problem may be required.

Therefore, this fever should be welcomed and it should not be hated as it is only trying to inform you that something needs your attention at the earliest. Suppose, there is no feeling of pain and there is no fever. It may look good as you may be relieved of these problems now, but the reality is the opposite and you may have to suffer much more. For instance, an infection occurs in your throat and as it gains strength beyond a point, your subconscious mind generates pain as well as fever in order to draw your attention to it. Now imagine that none of these feelings are there.

If that happens, you may not be able to realize that this infection is there and it is getting worse day by day, until your throat stops working altogether or even until this infection turns into some type of tumor. Kindly understand that the only way you may feel this infection on conscious level is through the pain around the area of this infection which may be called sore throat in this case; and also through the increase in body temperature, if this infection crosses a significant level. As a general rule, your subconscious mind will first give you a feeling of pain, when this infection is at the early stages. If you ignore this feeling and you don’t do the needful, the infection may aggravate. Accordingly, the pain may increase in intensity and it may also be accompanied by fever so that you may attend to it at the earliest.

As you receive these strong signals, you become consciously aware of this condition, you avail medical help and the problem starts getting fixed. When this infection drops below a level, the fever goes away. This is a signal from your subconscious mind to let your conscious mind know that your effort is in the right direction and it is helping. However, if the medicine doesn’t work for some reason; the pain as well as the fever may increase in quantum. This is the way through which your subconscious mind tells your conscious mind that the effort generated by the latter is not helping and something else should be tried.

Hence you may change medicine or doctor until the fever goes away and the pain reduces. After this, the pain may also go away gradually and you may not feel anything related to your throat now, which means your throat becomes normal now. This happens because your subconscious mind realizes that the problem has been fixed and no help is required from your conscious mind. Accordingly, it stops sending signals of fever or pain to your conscious mind. This way, the pain, the fever or any other type of discomfort generated by your subconscious mind; related to your body, is the way through which it tells your conscious mind to attend to something important in time; so that bigger problems may be avoided. Hence pain or fever should be welcomed and they should not be hated.

The same happens in case of other planes like mental plane or emotional plane. Hence migraines, headaches, restlessness, anxiety, inability to sleep and all other such things are the signals sent by your subconscious mind to your conscious mind. These signals inform your conscious mind that something is wrong with your mental plane and if it is not attended to in time; the problem may aggravate. Since the matters of mental plane are not so easy to understand, a number of people may not realize that all these symptoms are there to tell them that something is wrong with their mental planes. Hence they may keep avoiding these signals, which may result in bigger problems related to mental plane; including insanity or schizophrenia.

It should be noted that just like the physical problems may take time to become very big if not attended to in time, the same happens in case of mental problems also. For instance, a throat infection may take a long period of time to convert into a tumor if you choose to pay no attention to it at all, for any reasons; or you choose to pay minimum attention. It means you choose to take pain killers and fever suppressing medicines instead of treating this throat infection which is the root cause of these problems. Since you’re avoiding the cause and you’re only dealing with the effect, you’re only going to end up facing more problems in the long run.

Suppose someone is throwing stones at you and he has a heap of stones around him. The correct approach to fix this problem is to stop this person from throwing stones at you, through an appropriate method. However, if you instead start attending to the body parts which are being hit by the stones; your problem is only going to aggravate. This is because the injuries sustained by your body are the effects of the act of throwing stones, which is being done by this person. Hence the cause of these injuries lies with this person and not with the stones which are just the media used by this person. Accordingly, the correct approach is to stop this person from throwing stones at you.

Similarly, the correct approach in case of throat infection is to get it fixed and not to suppress pain or fever generated by it. This is because if the root cause is not attended to in time; the problem which means the infection may aggravate to the point where pain killers and fever suppressants may not be able to help you any longer. Hence the correct approach is to get the infection fixed as doing so will automatically make the pain and fever go away.

The same happens in case of mental problems also. The people who suffer from frequent headaches, migraines, anxiety, restlessness or inability to sleep should understand that these problems are only the effects of something wrong happening on their mental planes and these problems are not the causes, in most cases. Hence they should try to get the causes fixed instead of suppressing the effects. It means that though you can keep getting rid of headaches, migraines and other such effects with the help of medicines; this may not help in the long run and it may aggravate your problem in reality.

Kindly understand that you’re only dealing with the effect and you’re not dealing with the cause or so to say, the root of the problem. As long as the root is there, the problem is not going to go away and in fact, it is only going to aggravate with time. Hence you should attend to the root cause of this problem at the earliest, whatever that may be in your case; so that you may not suffer more in the long run. An occasional headache or a random night without sleep is acceptable but if it happens in routine, you may certainly have problems related to your mental plane. Hence these problems need to be fixed in time; instead of being avoided.

It happens in case of your emotional plane also, though in a different or so to say, in an emotional way. For instance, if you don’t like something or someone but you keep doing that thing or you keep being in the company of that person in spite of suffering from emotional discomfort, your problem is only going to increase. Hence you should try to get out of this thing or move away from this person; so that the root cause of the problem may be fixed. For instance, if you’re a doctor by profession but you want to be a singer and this urge is getting stronger day by day; the best way to fix this problem is to quit medical field at the earliest and try your luck in singing.

If you don’t do so and you keep hanging on to the medical profession, the emotional discomfort may start increasing and a time may come when it may reach a point where an explosion may occur. Which things or people may get affected by this emotional explosion depend on the root cause of this problem. For example, if you keep practicing as a doctor despite wanting to be a singer, primarily because of the pressure of a family member, say your father; this is what may happen.

Subconscious deposits of hate or disliking for your father may start building inside you because you want to do something and he’s stopping you. Hence the amount of respect you have for your father may go away gradually; and it may be replaced by hate or disrespect which may gain more and more strength with the passage of time.

Depending on your exact personality type; this hate may find an outlet in a direct or indirect way, which means in a conscious or subconscious way. Looking at the conscious way, you may one day confront your father and you may tell him on the face that you’re going to become a singer and that’s it. You may also express a number of emotional grudges from the past and the intensity of these grudges may be high enough to do significant damage to this relationship, at least for the time being. However, this is the easy way out and the subconscious way is even more troublesome.

If you’re a relatively weak person; you may choose to react in subconscious ways as the conscious ways need much more effort and courage. Looking at some of these ways, you may subconsciously start disliking your father more and more though you may almost never confront him directly. You may also start disliking your profession and this dislike may gain strength with the passage of time.

As a result, your performance at your profession may start dropping and you may witness results which may not be as good as they used to be. An interesting thing is that you may not bother much about fixing the problems in your profession and on the contrary, this drop in performance may start giving you subconscious vibes of strange comfort.

Since these vibes are subconscious, you may not feel them consciously. It means you may not realize that it is your heart which is causing problems with your profession and you may think that outside variables are affecting your profession in a negative way. Therefore, you may consciously feel that luck factor is going against your profession and that is why progress is not happening. However in reality, your heart is going against your profession or to be precise, your profession is going against your heart and this is why both your heart and your profession are suffering.

Since your heart wants to get out of this medical profession, your liking for this profession drops. As a result, you may try to get out of it but you may have to continue it due to the pressure from your father’s side. When that happens, your liking for your father as well as for medical profession drops and as this state of affairs sustains, this liking keeps dropping until a point comes when it turns into dislike. From here on, this dislike for your profession as well as for your father may keep gaining strength with the passage of time, though all this is happening on subconscious level which means without your conscious awareness.

As a result, your heart starts showing disinterest in your profession and when that happens, you may not bother much about gaining more knowledge about your profession, staying updated and doing all other things which are required to make your profession grow. It should be noted that you may not do all these things consciously and they may all happen on subconscious level, which means without your knowledge. Since your subconscious mind is very powerful and it is hidden, it may create things which may spoil your chances of achieving more in your profession. All these things may look so natural that you may not even realize that you’re doing any effort to move away from your profession.

For instance, there’s a medical conference which features discussions and information about some of the most prevalent as well as important medical issues. A number of doctors from across the country or even from other countries are going to attend this conference and hence you may gain a lot if you attend to this conference. However, as the dates for this conference are announced, they may clash with the dates of vacation that you’ve planned with your family; especially for your son as it may be summer holidays for him. As a result, you face a situation where you either have to postpone the vacation or you have to miss this conference.

Accordingly, you may try to convince your son or even your wife, that the vacation should be postponed by a week or so; in order for you to attend to this conference. Your son may start protesting and even your wife may let you know about her plans for the week after your conference, which she’s already made in advance. You may assess the situation and you may choose to miss this conference in favor of your family vacation. You have all the valid reasons to miss this conference and you may not even feel in the least that you’ve been tricked by your heart and your subconscious mind.

In the past, whenever a situation like this approached, you tried to deal with it on the basis of merit; without being biased in any way. However, your heart is biased against this conference this time and since your subconscious mind is helping it out, you may not feel the conspiracy planned by the two of them. As a result, you may consciously feel that you’re choosing the vacation due to the love for your family whereas in reality; you’re choosing it due to dislike for anything related to medical profession. Kindly understand that there is a big difference between avoiding this conference because of love for your family and because of dislike for this conference. The first reason is positive whereas the second reason is negative.

Himanshu Shangari

 

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Heaven and Hell Within 05

The Heart 02

Om Namah Shivaay

This book has become possible with the Grace of Lord Shiva and every valuable word in this book is only due to his Blessings. This Book is dedicated to the advancement and development of the good in people. The primary aim of this book is to make our lives as well as those of others, better and better by improving ourselves continuously.

Om Namah Shivaay

Disclaimer

The views expressed in this book are author’s views, based on his knowledge; and they are not bound on anyone to believe. Some of the views expressed in this book may not appeal to some natives or they may not agree with those views. This is absolutely normal as each and every individual has a right to stand by his own views.

Hence this book should not be seen as an effort to force author’s views on other people and it should be seen as an effort to make people aware of author’s views about certain specific topics, based on the knowledge he possesses.

Contents :

The Heart

Contact Me

They Come First

After bowing to Lord Shiva, let me take this moment to thank the person who has been an influence so strong and supportive in my life that she is second only to Lord Shiva for me. She is none other than my respected and adorable mother, Smt. Jeewan Lata. So much can be said about her contribution to my life and her support in making me what I am today, that a whole book can be written about it! But, I will consider her like Lord Shiva and hence move onto the next person, after bowing to her, as even an ocean of words can’t describe her real contribution in my life and for this book.

Second on the list of acknowledgments is my dear and respected father Lt. Sh. Bodh Raj Shangari. Though he left us when I was nine only, the mere fact that he along with my mother brought me to this world, makes me indebted to him for this life as well as for many lives to come. God Bless your soul father, wherever you are! Even though you are physically not with me anymore, you have always been present in my mind, through all the sweet memories of my childhood, and you will always be.

Prelude

The first two parts of this book dealt with the things like the basic working of the conscious mind, the subconscious mind, the aura, the transfer of energy, the theory of karma, the formation of good and bad habits and some other concepts.

From the third part onward, we’ll try to look deep into our existence and we’ll try to understand the working of the entities which are responsible for making us what we are at any time; as these entities lie at the bottom of each and everything we do and even at the bottom of each and everything we even think of doing.

Through this part as well as through some other parts of this book, we’ll discuss such entities in our existence, which collectively define what we are at any point in time, during the journey of the soul. These entities are the body, the intellect, the emotions, the ego, the conscience and the soul.

We’ll dig deep into the working of these entities and through that working, we’ll try to understand the actual role of each one of these entities in our existence. We’ll also discuss how these entities influence our overall personalities and how we can choose to shape up most of these entities the way we want.

For instance, this part explains the working of heart and it also explains the role of heart in our lives. The book is written in easy language and it is full of day to day life examples so that the concepts explained in the book should be understood well. For instance, a day to day life situation is mentioned and then it is discussed how you may handle this situation; based on which one of the important entities dominates your personality.

Hence your response in this situation is considered if you’re a person dominated by heart; and such response is discussed in details. It means the things like what you may do in such situation; why you may do them, how the other entities like intellect may try to counteract the response generated by your heart and why you may finally choose to go with the response generated by your heart; are discussed. Even when you do so, what may happen inside you after this and how different entities within you compete with each other; before and after such response.

Then your response is considered in the same situation if you’re a person dominated by intellect and all these possibilities are considered in details; once again. Hence you may get an insight into how these entities compete within you for each and everything you do or even think of doing and how a specific one of them may win this battle; based on your personality type. Likewise, your responses are considered in cases when you’re ego dominated or conscience dominated.

Through these situations, this book explains the continuous battle for supremacy between your intellect and your heart; as well as the continuous war between your ego and conscience. The scope of study is advanced from third part onward and we’ll deal with some of the deepest secrets of human existence, through this part as well as through some other parts of this book.

With this, I now take your permission to lead you to the book.

 

Lord Shiva Bless You

Himanshu Shangari

 

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Coming Soon

 

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This is because she has not closed this sentence and she has kept it open, though in a subconscious way. If she uses sentences like, ‘I’m not interested, I don’t have time for all this or I already have a boyfriend’; these are closed sentences and they leave no choice for you. I’m not interested means she’s not interested in whatever you may propose because she’s not has mentioned that it is the movie that she’s not interested in. Hence it means you and so this sentence is a closed one, giving you no option to move ahead. Likewise, the other two sentences mean that she’s not interested in you, at least at this time; and that’s the end of the road for the time being.

However, when she says she doesn’t want to watch a movie; it is an open sentence because it suggests that she may have nothing against you and instead, she’s opposed to movies. At the same time, this sentence suggests that she may like doing something else because a specific denial for movie means a probable desire for something else. It is the time to learn that when we’re really not interested in all the things of a type, we generally don’t mention any one of them, even in a negative way.

For instance, suppose someone invites you for a meeting at a café, he orders coffee and sandwiches for him and then he asks you whether you’ll have sandwiches as well with your coffee. There are two ways you may answer this question and they both mean different things. If you’ve recently eaten and you don’t feel like eating anything at all, you may say, ‘No thanks or I’ll have nothing or I’ll have coffee only’. All these sentences are closed sentences because what you want deep down is what you’re saying. Hence this answer is a clear no.

On the other hand, if you feel like eating something but you don’t like sandwiches and at the same time, you don’t want to express yourself loud, this is what may happen. You may say, ‘Oh thanks but I don’t like sandwiches’ or anything like this. This is an open sentence which suggests that you’re not opposed to eating and you’re opposed to the sandwiches. Hence you’re suggesting the other person that he should ask you about something else.

The same thing is happening here. The girl is not saying that she doesn’t like you, she’s saying she doesn’t like watching movies. Hence she’s suggesting you to come up with another option which she may like. Accordingly, you should try a different option like, ‘what about a cup of coffee in the evening then?’ The chances are good that she may take a second or two to answer this question, which is once again a subconscious sign that she wants to go with you.

This is because she may like coffee and she may like you as well. In addition to that, the fear factor has also been taken care of, as a café is a safe place in general. Hence it is a yes from her side but she may not feel comfortable giving an easy yes, being a female. This is why she’s taking time, so that she may not have to say it and you understand it on your own, or even persuade her for this proposal. Accordingly, you should use another sentence to persuade her so that she may be spared from the burden of saying yes so easily.

Hence when you use a sentence like, ‘oh come on, it’s just a cup of coffee and it’ll be fun’; she may find it easier to say yes or she may even give her silent consent through her eyes or face; using more subconscious signs; based on her personality type. If she’s still confused for some reason of her own but she likes to go with you, she may say something like ‘I don’t know, maybe some other time’. This doesn’t mean you should quit and it only means you should persuade her more for this date and very likely, she’ll agree to your proposal.

This is just a situation and these are just some signs. There may be a number of other situations and accordingly, there may be a number of other signs, depending on those situations as well as depending on her overall personality type. For instance, three different girls in the same situation may like you the same, but they may react in different ways, depending on their overall personality types. A bold type of girl may not take much time and she may give you a straight yes; an average type of girl may take some time and she may give obvious subconscious signs whereas a shy type of girl may take much longer, she may never say yes and even her subconscious signs may be difficult to read.

It is a complex study and the behaviors of different human beings are different in the same situations, based on their exact personalities at those times. For instance, a shy type of girl may say no to movie as well as to coffee and she may not even come closer to you, which means she may maintain a neutral comfort zone. However she may use different subconscious signs and this is why you must learn first, what type of girl you’re dealing with.

For instance, she may attach no to movie or coffee but she may never directly oppose your initiative to approach her. She may not come closer to you, but she may also not try to hurry up and leave the venue at the earliest. If a shy girl is standing with you even after rejecting your proposal and her basic body language is favorable, it is very likely that she’s surly interested in you but she’s unable to find the courage to go out with you, at least for the time being.

On the other hand, if a shy girl doesn’t like you, she may not give you a chance to offer coffee instead of a movie and she may not even bother to let you finish what you’re saying. She may tell you at the earliest that she’s not interested or she may not even say so and she may leave the venue. Her presence with you for a significant amount of time is a sign that she’s interested but she needs more time. Hence you should give her more time and you should try again, not at this time though.

It means you may need to approach this girl two, three or even four times on different days; before she may finally agree to your proposal. Before you leave her for the time being, you can try saying that she can take more time if she wants and you’ll meet her again. If she’s interested, you’ll see that she won’t object to this proposal and in fact, she may start feeling nervous. This is her way of telling you that she’ll welcome you as and when you approach her again. You see, there are a number of variables and the results may change as these variables change in different cases.

Let’s now try to look at some signs which indicate that no means no. The most obvious sign is the distance and this girl may never allow you to step inside her comfort zone. In fact, as you stand at a neutral distance and as you propose her; she may step back or lean back while replying to your proposal. This is a strong sign that your proposal has generated a negative response within her due to which, she finds you fit, not even for the neutral category though it may only be for the time being. Hence she may automatically step back or lean back as she starts fearing or disliking you subconsciously. The more dislike you generate in her, the more this distance may increase.

Another obvious subconscious sign is that she may use short as well as closed sentences which may give you neither time nor any other option. For instance, all the sentences like, ‘I’m not interested, I don’t have time for this and all other such sentences’ mean that she’s not interested, especially if the answers are supported by her body language also. The worst type of responses may be No thanks or something else like this which may contain three, two or even one word, which is No. As a rule, the fewer are the words used to convey a no, the stronger is the rejection.

For instance, if she maintains safe distance, she uses just a couple of words, she says them at a fast pace and the volume of her voice is relatively higher than average; it is the strongest type of no. It means you’re not welcome now and you may not be welcome in future also. In fact, this response suggests that this girl may dislike you. If she turns around and starts walking away as soon as she says this in the manner described by me; it is a confirmation that she dislikes you, at least at this time.

Similarly, there may be other negative signs which may vary from country to country as well as from situation to situation, depending on the overall personality of the girl in question. Some girls may not even let you finish and they may start walking away without answering, some girls may not even bother stopping if you’re trying to approach them while they’re going somewhere and some girls may make you feel that they don’t care about a word of what you’re saying as they may look least interested when you speak to them.

A strong type of female may use direct as well as offensive signs to reject your proposal. She may give you a flat no in a couple of words, as soon as you finish saying what you want to say; she may then hold her position firmly whether she’s sitting or standing; she may look at you directly and she may ask you if you have something else to say; even before you think about your next line. It means she’s not interested in you, she doesn’t like your idea of invading her privacy and it is you who should leave this place and not her. You see, different signs may be expressed by different people, depending on their overall personalities.

Let’s now go back to the example where the division of property is pending between you and your brother; and you are a person ruled by conscience. When it comes to conscience, fair means fair; in its deepest as well as in its all inclusive sense. Hence your conscience may not let you decide this matter in an unfair way, no matter what may happen. For instance, let’s suppose your brother borrowed an amount of money from you about a year back and he promised to return this money as and when he had sufficient extra funds to return it. However, due to lack of sufficient funds or due to any other reason, he has not returned this money so far.

Your intellect may tell you that while finalizing this division, you should also settle the amount given to your brother, as it is still due. This is because you have an account to settle with your brother and it is fair that the money borrowed by him should be taken into consideration while settling this division. Suppose this property is sold and a net amount of Rs. 20 million is received, which means Rs. 12 million for you and Rs. 8 million for your brother, according to the percentage of investment made by each one of you. Suppose your brother had borrowed Rs. 1 million about a year back.

Your ego may tell you to deduct this payment first and then give Rs. 7 million to your brother; given the fact that the payment is handed over to you by the purchasing party; though your brother may also be present at the venue. Your intellect if not corrupted by your ego may not provoke you to do so and it may suggest a mild gesture. As a result, when you divide this payment, you may remind and convince your brother that he owes you Rs. 1 million and he had promised to return this money whenever he had sufficient extra funds. Hence your ego sees deducting money without his consent as fair whereas your intellect sees convincing your brother to return this money as fair.

However, if your conscience controls you, none of these acts may qualify as fair and it has a different definition of fair. In this case, you may divide the amount, you may give him Rs. 8 million and you may not even talk about the money he owes you. This is because by engaging in any of the already mentioned acts, you’re pressurizing your brother to return this payment; and hence it becomes unfair. Your conscience is aware that when you gave this amount to your brother, you were under no pressure and you chose to help him out of free will. It was an act inspired by the love for your brother and it was not an act inspired by the sense of profit or loss.

In addition to that, your brother made it clear that he’ll return this money as and when he had sufficient extra funds. If you didn’t like this condition, you should have asked him to modify it and define a time limit to return this amount. However, you willingly agreed to this condition and hence you must honor what you agreed to. By pressurizing him in any way, you’re violating the condition that he will decide when to return this money.

I know he said sufficient extra funds and according to you; he seems to have a lot of them at this time; it is not that simple. The decision that he has sufficient extra funds has to come from him and you can’t force him to reach this decision, even if you’re doing so by convincing him to return your money. He may not want to return this money at this time for a number of reasons which may be genuine; but he may have to return it as he may feel pressurized by you. Since you agreed that he may return this amount as and when he has sufficient extra funds and this decision is to be made by him whether or not he has extra funds at this moment, asking him to return your money is not fair according to your conscience.

It may seem complicated and even foolish to some of you but this is how your conscience operates. Its job is to maintain harmony in its deepest sense and this is what it is doing at this time. For instance, though your brother is receiving an amount of Rs. 8 million, he may have debts amounting to Rs. 15 million at this time. As majority of these debts may be time bound or law bound, he may be under significant pressure to pay them at the earliest because he may already have gone beyond the deadlines in some of these cases. If such is the case, he may be receiving this payment but he may not have any extra funds at all.

Hence the way your intellect sees it is that he has Rs. 8 million and so he should give you Rs. 1 million. However, the way your conscience sees it is that only he should be the judge of whether or not he has extra funds and you should not pressurize him to return your money; as doing so is unfair. Therefore, the definition of fair for your conscience in this case is that you give him Rs. 8 million and whether or not he returns your money, is immaterial at this point. Even if your brother doesn’t return money, you should not talk about it even once. If you do so, he may feel ashamed when he should not; and that makes it unfair once again. This is how your conscience may define fair in this case.

Your conscience helps you look at the bigger picture in order to maintain harmony. If you look at the bottom of this matter, you gave money to your brother after clearly understanding the condition mentioned by him and you did so under no pressure. Accordingly, you have no right to change or modify this condition at a later stage even if such modification looks like a subtle one; and only your brother reserves the right to make this modification, if it favors you. If you violate your promise even in the least, primarily in order to bring benefits to you and losses to your brother; it becomes unfair.

Let’s now try to go beyond this financial transaction and look into the bottom of this matter. The first thing your conscience does before doing anything is to fix an objective. If it finds the objective worthy of making an effort for; only then it may guide you to engage in effort. By doing so, it saves you from a number of problems you may face in future, and all such problems may be witnessed, primarily due to your inability to foresee them.

Hence when your brother comes to you for financial help; your conscience helps you find the primary objective as well as the difficulties which you may face, if you choose to engage in this act of help. When it comes to find the primary objective, you can either help him in order to gain some type of advantage or you can help him purely out of love for him. Since you’re a person ruled by conscience; you understand that brotherhood is the domain of love and it is not the domain of business; which means it is the domain of heart and not that of intellect.

It should be noted that he’s asking for pure help and he’s not discussing any type of business proposal at all; in which case, it does become business and hence your intellect has the due right to interfere. However, when a brother or any loved one asks for a pure favor or help; only your heart and conscience should be engaged and your intellect or ego should not be engaged. Therefore, you understand that your brother is asking for such help out of love and if you choose to help him; it should also be out of love and not out of business. Returning love with love only is fair; and your conscience knows this rule perfectly. Hence it’ll guide you to act from heart and not from intellect though the intellect may be used for some other facts related to this matter.

After deciding that such help should come from heart, the next thing to decide is the quantum of help asked by him verses the quantum of help you can offer. It means your brother is asking for Rs. 1 million with the condition that he’ll return this amount as and when he has sufficient extra funds. Accordingly; you have to decide two things from here. The first thing is whether or not you can afford to give him Rs. 1 million at this time and the second thing is that whether or not you can wait for a long period of time for this money to come back to you or it may not even come back to you ever.

Looking at the first factor, you can give your brother Rs. 1 million only if you have this amount of money with you; even if you truly want to help him. Suppose you’re rich, you have net assets worth Rs. 100 million and Rs. 1 million in cash is not a big issue for you at this time. Looking at the second factor; your conscience helps you understand that the condition for return mentioned by your brother means he may return it at the earliest; he may return it late or he may not be able to return it at all; even if he truly wishes to return it. This is because in order to return this amount, he has to have it first and only then he may be able to return it, if he wishes to.

Since having this amount of money in future is subjected to outside variables which are beyond anyone’s control, it may or may not be returned. In addition to that, he’s saying that he’ll return this amount whenever he has sufficient extra funds. It means whether or not he has sufficient extra funds in future is to be decided by him and not by you. This fact means that he may or may not wish to return this money, based on his definition of sufficient extra funds. Kindly understand that the previous fact says he may or may not have extra money whereas this fact says he may or may not want to return this money; even if he has extra funds in future. As he’s your brother; you may know him well and hence you may have a fair idea of whether or not he may want to return this money; if he has sufficient extra funds in future.

Since your conscience helps you see this situation without any glasses; you’re in a very good position to take a decision on this matter. Therefore, you should agree to give him Rs. 1 million only if you can afford this amount at this time and also if you can afford to forget this amount if it doesn’t come back due to one of the two reasons which have already been explained. It should be noted that in the deepest sense; your relationship with your brother is much more important than any amount of money and hence it should not be spoiled because of money.

Therefore, the phrase ‘forget this amount’ in this context doesn’t mean you should forget this amount as well as your brother if he doesn’t return it and it instead means; you should be able to forget this amount in a way that this relationship is not affected even in the least. Your conscience may not try to force you to prepare yourself to forget this amount; it may only make you aware that you should help your brother only if you can afford to do so easily.

Based on your personality type; if none of these conditions is much trouble for you, which means you’re a good as well as a rich person and you’re willing to forget Rs. 1 million for your brother if needed; you may go ahead and give him this amount. As you give him the money, you’re already clear that this money may not come back and hence in the deepest sense, you forget it the moment you give it to him. As soon as you forget this money; all the expectations for return also disappear and hence you have no reason to worry about this amount of money. Since you’ve understood everything well in advance, you won’t ask your brother to return this money when the property is sold.

If you’re a different type of person and you can’t afford to lose Rs. 1 million forever, though you may afford to offer this amount to him at this time; your conscience may suggest you to take a different route. It may suggest you to pay only as much amount as you can afford to forget. Hence if you can afford to forget Rs. 500 thousands for your brother, your conscience may suggest you to offer this much money only. Your intellect may guide you to change the condition of return instead of reducing the amount but your conscience may refuse this proposal.

This is because your conscience has a much better vision than any other entity you have; and hence it is able to see what other entities may not see. Your conscience understands that even if you change the condition of return and your brother agrees to return you this amount after a certain period of time; say one year; it may or may not happen. When you look at this equation without any glasses which means with the help of your conscience; it is easy to understand that there are a number of outside variables in this equation and they may affect the final outcome.

It means even if your brother sincerely wants to return your money; he may not be able to return it on time or he may not be able to return it ever. In order to return your money, he first needs to have this amount of money in future. The future depends on a number of variables beyond everyone’s control and hence any promise based in future can’t be trusted in the deepest sense. Kindly understand that in the deepest sense; the promise made by your brother means that he’ll try his best to return this amount in one year; and nothing more than that; though even he may not realize it at this time.

Accordingly, if the outside variables like luck factor don’t go against him and he is able to collect this amount of money from various sources as he expects at this time; he may certainly return it if he wishes to do so. However, if the variables beyond his control play against him and he fails to have this amount after one year; he may not be able to return it even if he wants to. Looking at some of the worst possibilities; which may also be introduced by outside variables in rare cases; your brother may turn bankrupt in future or he may not even live for one more year. You see, even the promise made by a very good person doesn’t mean it’ll be fulfilled and it only means he’ll do his best to fulfill it.

Your conscience knows this rule that outside variables can change any equation in any way and hence the worst should always be considered. This is why it will always help you look at the complete picture from one extreme to another, so that you may reach a fair decision. Hence your conscience may guide you that this money may come back at the earliest in the best case; and it may never come back in the worst case. It may then suggest you that only if you’re prepared for the worst case, you should move ahead with this act. This is because once you are prepared for the worst, there is no way you may face problems later on.

It should be noted that the best possible and the worst possible in every equation or situation are rare possibilities and accordingly; they may seldom be witnessed. Hence when you expect the best; the chances are high that you’ll end up in disappointment because you’re asking for a rare thing and even the second best may not satisfy you now, if you happen to come across it. On the other hand, if you’re prepared for the worst; things can only go better from here and nothing can disappoint you now. This is because even if you face something which is bad or very bad but not the worst in a given situation; you consider it as a bonus as it is still better than what you’re prepared for.

For instance, if your brother returns this money in two years or three years and that too in installments; even this brings joy for you as you had forgotten this amount the moment you gave it and any amount which comes back is a bonus now. The worst that may happen in this case is that you may never get your money back and once you’re prepared for it; things can only get better from here as you can only gain when you’ve nothing to lose. On the same lines, the chances are high that you’ll lose instead of gaining, when you’ve a lot to lose and not much left to gain.

This is why the negative extreme of every situation comes with the strongest chances of gains and the positive extreme of every situation comes with the strongest chances of losses. This rule as well as many other rules like this one are the constituent units of the laws of nature and only your conscience understands them in the deepest sense. As long as you know them and you obey them; you can only end up in happiness in every situation. On the other hand, if you don’t know these rules or you don’t obey them even after knowing them; sadness, disappointment or sorrow is bound to come to you every now and then.

Hence your conscience may guide you that if you can’t afford to lose Rs. 1 million forever, you should reduce this amount. Suppose this is the case and you’re comfortable with losing Rs. 500 thousands only; you should offer Rs. 500 thousands to your brother and not more than that. When you do so; you’ve once again freed yourself from the burden of expectations attached with the return of this money and hence you may be able to enjoy your life as well as the relationship with your brother, in its true sense.

It should be noted that if you expect your brother to return this money; you can’t properly enjoy your relationship with your brother until your money is returned. This is because due to your expectations; every time you meet your brother; you may start thinking whether or not he’ll return your money on time. Hence this money may not let you enjoy your relationship with your brother and it may bother you time and again. This problem may intensify as the deadline for returning this money approaches closer; as your expectations may become even higher and hence they may make you restless and such restlessness may cause negativity in this relationship, on subconscious level.

For instance, if you meet your brother at a family dinner when the deadline is only ten days away; your expectations may make you behave in a strange way. Since it may happen subconsciously; you may not notice it much, but your brother or even some other members of your family may notice it clearly. Since the subconscious expectations are high in this case, your subconscious responses may change a lot, expressing all these expectations. Looking at some of the things that you may do subconsciously; you may ensure that you sit closer to your brother so that you may discuss certain things with him; even if you don’t know it consciously and even if you don’t do so in general.

It means you may not sit next to him in general but you may intentionally do so this time, though on a subconscious level. As the event starts; you may start talking to him and sooner than you know, the topic of discussion may shift to financial matters when it should be ideally related to family matters. Hence your subconscious mind is guiding your intellect to take control of this conversation when your heart should be dealing with this event or even with this conversation as this is a family dinner and not a business meeting.

Since your acts are being controlled by your subconscious mind, you may ask him questions which may indirectly suggest him to return your money at the earliest. For instance, you may ask him as to how his business is going on, is it going good and other things like that. Though it may look like a general type of question, it is not so in this case; as it is accompanied by your subconscious expectations. You’re excepting him to say that business is good so that you may be assured that he’s making money and your money will be returned on time.

Himanshu Shangari

 

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Unless intentionally controlled in some cases, your voice and your body language are the carriers for the expressions of your subconscious mind whereas your words are the carries for the expressions of your conscious mind, in most cases. This is why it is said that you should pay more attention to someone’s facial expressions, body language and the energy that his voice carries; than to his words. The reason for this is that the expressions of the conscious mind are often manipulated and they’re not true as you can control them and hence you have the luxury of changing any types of words in order to benefit in any type of situation.

On the other hand, your subconscious mind offers you no such luxury due to which, the expressions given by it are absolutely true, though they may be subtle and difficult to read at times. Many of you may have noticed that your girlfriend might have said no to a number of things; but she actually wanted to do those things in reality. For instance, she may have said no to the first dating proposal when you approached her, though her subconscious expressions may have conveyed a clear consent or even willingness.

It may also happen that she keeps saying no but you find her interested for some reason unknown to you and so you propose her that you’ll wait for her at such and such place and at such and such time. She may say no even to this or she may say ‘I’m not sure’ or ‘I don’t know’, when you once again have a feeling that she will certainly come. Your feeling proves true and she comes.

The reason this happens is because in general; girls are much more conscious than men and this extra consciousness creates significant difference between their conscious and subconscious expressions. In this situation, her subconscious mind has a liking for you and accordingly it agrees to your proposal through her body language and other expressions which carry its messages. The conscious mind on the other hand, may consider social conditioning as a big factor due to which, it may apply a number of filters to the original message.

It should be noted that when you ask her out on a date, the answer to this question is generated by her subconscious mind and this answer is yes. However, as this answers tries to get out, her conscious mind may try to change this answer for many reasons and this is where this difference starts building. As the conscious mind can control words and sometimes even facial expressions with effort; she may convey disinterest in your proposal through these channels.

However, the channels beyond control of her conscious mind in general, and the channels which convey the unfiltered messages of her subconscious mind may express a clear consent. This is why you may observe that she is saying no to your proposal but the tone of her voice, her facial expressions as well as her body language is in opposition to this ‘no’ and all these channels are saying yes. You may not understand the exact reason for this contrast but you may be smart enough to observe that she means yes as you may read some of her subconscious expressions, if not all of them.

Hence you continue delivering your proposal, she says no to the date or she says she doesn’t know whether she can come or not; but you have a strong feeling that she’ll come and she does appear at the venue.  This is why it is said that when a girl says no, she doesn’t mean it. The conscious mind of a woman is much more active than that of a man and hence the filters applied to the expressions of her subconscious mind, which are our natural expressions; are more in number. As a result, her body language and her words may convey the opposite messages where her words may say no and her body language or all of her subconscious channels may express a clear yes.

One of the reasons women use conscious mind much more than men is that throughout the history of mankind, women have been used, exploited and troubled a lot, especially by men. Hence most women have this subconscious fear that a man may hurt or exploit her; especially a man she doesn’t know well. This creates the need to be on alert and when it comes to active alertness; it is primarily the domain of your conscious mind. Therefore, the conscious mind of a woman is much more active than that of a man, particularly in these situations.

If you take a look at the entire history of all types of interactions between men and women; you may find a large number of incidents where men physically abused women or hurt them in other ways. However, it may be difficult to find such incidents where a woman raped a man. Since this information is fed into our subconscious minds as a part of general awareness; a man doesn’t have the need to use conscious awareness or fear when planning to meet a woman for the first time; even at a lonely place. He may not think about it consciously, but he knows subconsciously that women don’t hurt men on physical level. Accordingly, there is no fear and his conscious expressions don’t need extra filtering.

A women on the other hand, is subconsciously aware that if she goes with a man on a date, particularly the one she can’t duly trust at the time in question; the chances of something troublesome happening to her are there, though they may not be high. This is what creates the need to be alert. Hence she has two feelings where the first one is that of liking for a man and the second one is that of fear of men in general; due to the information stored on her subconscious mind; related to a number of unfortunate incidents of violence against women by men.

As a result, the fear is conveyed through her words whereas the liking is conveyed through the other channels which carry the messages of the subconscious mind and which in general can’t be controlled by the conscious mind. Hence in reality, she means that she likes you but she’s also afraid that something bad may happen to her if she chooses to meet you alone. This is why if you ask a girl out on first date, you should propose a place which is full of people instead of a place which is solitary in one way or the other, as the presence of other people may reduce the extent of her fear and it may become easier for her to agree to your proposal.

For instance, if you’re asking a girl out for the first time and you’re proposing to go for mountain tracking or even for a movie, the chances are high that she may refuse though she may surely want to go out with you. This is due to the reason that the fear factor may be more than the liking factor in this case and hence she may avoid going with you. When it comes to mountain tracking, she’s alone with you and almost anything unpleasant can happen to her. This may convey a strong feeling of fear and the answer is almost bound to be no for this proposal as well as for all other such proposals where she’s alone with you.

When it comes to movie, the situation presents a different type of fear. Though there may be many people watching a movie, the theatre has complete darkness and darkness means fear. In this situation, she may not imagine the worst types of things like a rape or a murder; due to the presence of a number of people in the theatre, the fear of subtle kind of violence is still there. For instance, she may fear that you may use darkness to your advantage and you may try to get access to those parts of her body; which she may not want you to access during this date; for one reason or the other.

Hence the chances of a no are once again high though they are not as high as in case of mountain tracking. Some of you may wonder that when you asked your girlfriend out for a movie on your first date, why did she agree? Was she fearless or was she not aware of all this information about a number of men having a tendency to physically exploit women at lonely places? None of them may be the reason and there are other valid reasons for her consent.

For instance, though it may have been your first date; she may have known you for a long period of time and she may have developed liking as well as trust for you. It can happen if you two are classmates, neighbors or colleagues for a long period of time and during this time, she’s come to know that you can be trusted with such incidents, to a reasonable extent. Hence she may say yes to a movie proposal because the fear factor is lower than the liking factor plus trust factor, though she may still say no to mountain tracking as the fear factor may become higher than the liking plus trust factor in that case.

Another reason for her consent may be that though she may not know much about you and accordingly she may not trust you much, she may have a different type of feeling. She has a liking for you, she knows what luxuries you can try to take in the darkness of the theatre and she may be ready to give you those luxuries due to her own reasons. For instance, she may have a personality type which says doing that much on a first date is not a problem and hence she may say yes. This girl knows what you can do at the most in a theatre, and she’s prepared for that or she may even be willing for you to do that. This is why she may say yes.

However in general, when you ask a woman out for the first date, you should propose a public place as that increases your chances because the fear factor reduces significantly in this case. This is why asking a girl out on a coffee date has become the most prevalent form of proposal for first dates. A café is full of people; she doesn’t have any reason to fear you at all; and hence she may say yes; through conscious or subconscious expressions : )

However, in order for her to agree to your proposal, even on subconscious level; she must have some liking for you. It means even if she feels the safest on a proposed date with you but she has no liking for you; the answer may be a clear no. Hence the phrase ‘when a girl says no, she means yes’ is not completely true and it needs modification. The modified form is that ‘when a girl says no, she may mean yes’. If the girl has liking for you and she says no, it means yes. On the other hand, if she doesn’t like you or she even dislikes you; no means no in such cases.

Some people may be confused when it comes to differentiate between a real ‘no’ and a ‘no’ conveying yes. It may seem difficult but it may become easier, if you know the mechanism of conscious as well as subconscious mind, which means how they give out expressions. If a girl says no but she means yes, her words may carry no but the rest of her expressions which are subconscious expressions carry a clear yes. If on the other hand, she says no and she means no; her words as well as her subconscious expressions carry a clear no.

In the first case, there’s a contrast between the expressions of her conscious mind and those of her subconscious mind whereas in the second case, there’s a harmony between the expressions of her conscious and subconscious mind as they’re both conveying the same message. This is because in the first case, she needs to express liking and fear at the same time and hence there’s a contrast. However, in the second case, she only wants to convey disinterest because the fear factor is not there; as the fear factor may be considered only if she wants to go out with you.

For instance, if you want to go for mountain tracking; only then may you bother about the risks involved in this venture. On the other hand, if you’re not interested in mountains to start with; there’s no point in assessing the risk. As a rule of human mind; liking or disliking for something is considered first and if the result is liking or consent; only then the other factors like fear, risk or cost are considered. Taking an example in case of cost, when you go to purchase a car; you don’t ask about the discounts offered for a car first and then like it; you like it first and then look at the discounts. This is because if you don’t like it at all, what is the point in wasting your time asking for discounts.

Hence if she doesn’t like you, the only expression she needs to convey is that she’s uninterested and that comes as a harmonious expression shared equally well by her conscious as well as by her subconscious expressions. Taking a look at the third though rare case, a girl may say yes, through her words as well as through her subconscious expressions. If that happens, it means this girl likes you a lot and she also trusts you to the point that she has no fear when she’s with you. As there is only one expression in this case also, her words as well as her entire body language carry the same message of yes. The girl of this type may even approach you in order to initiate a relationship.

Looking at the fourth possibility; a girl may express yes through her conscious expressions but her subconscious expressions may convey a clear no. It means that deep down; this girl is not interested in your proposal; but she’s still saying yes. This may happen in case of an arranged marriage when the parents of a girl convince or force her to say yes when you ask her about her consent for marriage, at a family meeting. She may say yes through her words; but her subconscious expressions may convey ‘no’ or ‘I’m not sure’. Her words are conveying the conditions imposed on her and her body language is conveying her true wish.

Likewise, a girl may not like you much but she may say yes to your dating proposal; as she may be interested in something you may have; instead of being interested in you. For instance, she may have strong liking for pleasures which can be obtained through money; she may not have much money and you may have a lot of it. Hence she may pretend to be interested in you when in reality; she’s only interested in your money. In this case, she may say yes when you ask her out, but her subconscious expressions may suggest a ‘no’, though the no in this case may be difficult to read. We’ll discuss more about this topic, later on.

As the conscious expressions are obvious, there is no need to discuss them. So let’s look at some subconscious expressions which may help you understand this equation. In case a girl is interested in you but she doesn’t say so; here are the subconscious signs to look out for. She may say no to your dating offer, but she may convey a number of subconscious signs in favor of this offer or in favor of you; depending on her overall personality, the extent of liking she has for you, the situation and some other variables which may be different in different cases. Hence her responses may change with change in these variables, which means different girls may give different types of subconscious signs in response to the same offer.

Taking a look at some of these signs, the no may be soft which means it may not carry much energy and the sentence carrying no may be delivered at a relatively slower speed and it may carry significant or even more than significant length. It means that the ‘no’ contained in her sentence may not carry heartfelt energy and as you understand by now, the absence of this energy means the word is a formal word and it is not coming from the heart. Since the approval for any type of liking or disliking has to come from heart in order to be true, absence of this energy suggests that it hasn’t come from heart and it is coming from intellect.

The reason she may not give you a simple no and she may instead choose a long sentence like, ‘I don’t think I’ll be able to do that tomorrow or I don’t think that’s a good idea’; is that she doesn’t want to discourage you from asking her out and hence she’s taking due time to speak to you; which is another subconscious sign of interest. It should be noted that we only pay more or even due attention to things or people we really like and we don’t want to spend time or attention for things or people we don’t care for, whether positively or negatively.

Hence the fact that she’s using long sentences while speaking to you or she’s saying things at a slower pace means she wants to give you more time in order to keep you interested. The volume of her voice may also be lower than the average volume of her voice. This is once again a subconscious sign that she doesn’t want to say no. Hence the volume of her voice reduces subconsciously which means naturally; as if she’s trying to stop her denial from reaching you : )

Her body language may suggest alertness and it may look tense. The reason this may happen is that she’s interested in you and hence she’s trying to look as active as she can as that can project her personality in an even better way. For instance, her stomach may be tucked in more than usual which means she wants to impress you. As you already know by now, you only want to impress people you like and you don’t waste time impressing people you’ve got nothing to do with at all.

She may avoid eye contact as much as she can, though this sign may change in case of certain specific types of girls like a girl who’s relatively bolder and who likes you a lot. If such is the case, she may say ‘no’ but she may keep looking at your face or in your eyes; so that you may read a clear yes in her eyes. The reason an average type of girl may avoid eye contact is because she knows you may read a clear yes in her eyes. Eyes are very powerful media and they may convey much more than words can, in such situations.

The physical distance between the two of you is one of the most important factors as it is one of the strongest subconscious signs for liking or disliking. It should be noted that each one of us has a subconscious boundary or physical distance which we consider neutral and this boundary may be different for different people, depending on the overall personality of a person in question. This neutral boundary means that if you neither like nor dislike a person as it may be your first interaction and you’re not afraid of him for any reasons like a conscious fear that he may harm you; this is where you want that person to be.

Suppose this distance is 3 feet in your case, though you may not be consciously aware of this boundary as it is a subconscious boundary. It means that you’re comfortable when people belonging to general category maintain a distance of at least 3 feet or slightly more, while they approach you or talk to you. This is your neutral subconscious boundary of safety or your neutral comfort zone.

This boundary changes in case of people belonging to special categories, depending on whether these categories are positive or negative. For instance, this boundary may shift to 4 feet in case of people you already don’t like or in case of people, who’re meeting you for the first time but for some reason, you don’t feel safe with them and you’re scared to some extent.

Likewise, this boundary may shift to 2 feet, 1 foot or even less in case of people you like and this boundary keeps reducing in distance, as your liking for a person increases. When you like a person a lot, like your mother, this boundary may disappear altogether, even if for some moments; and these are the moments you feel like hugging her or you allow her to hug you. This boundary may not disappear all the time even in case of your dearest ones but it may certainly be placed much closer than its neutral placement. For instance, even when you don’t feel like hugging your mother; or you don’t feel like she should hug you, you may be perfectly comfortable if she maintains a distance of 1 foot or more.

This subconscious boundary may be called your comfort zone in general. This zone is subconscious which means it is hidden. Hence you may not consciously see this boundary present or shifting in case of different people, you may surely feel it and that also in a strong way. This comfort zone for different people is defined by their subconscious minds, it may be different for different people based on a number of variables and it may be even different for the same person, at different times.

For instance, your comfort zone for a boy may be 1 foot at a time as he may be your boyfriend at that time; and this zone may shift to 3 feet or even more; once you breakup with him. The phrase even more in this context means that you may develop dislike for him and hence your comfort zone may shift to an even greater distance than normal. It should be noted that your comfort zone is maintained by your subconscious mind; only as and when it is possible to do so. Hence this boundary may not be maintained in places where crowd is a compulsory condition and you can’t escape it; like a discotheque. The boundaries are changed or adjusted in this case under compulsion and they come back to their normal state; as and when this compulsion goes off.

It is interesting to note that people who put great importance to their comfort zones or boundaries often don’t like going to these places. They reason behind this is that they don’t like their comfort zones to be redefined in ways that these zones shrink a lot, which means that people belonging to general category are temporarily allowed to enter the zones defined for the dearest ones. Since this is a subconscious reason, they may not know it precisely though they may feel strong discomfort in these places; and that is why they avoid going to these places.

Another fact related to the comfort zone is that your subconscious mind tries to maintain it in every situation; though you may not have the conscious knowledge of this fact. For instance, if the minimum distance for a person in general category is 3 feet and the maximum distance is 5 feet; yes there is a maximum distance also; this is what may happen. If this person enters this zone of 3 feet, you may automatically step behind in order to shift this boundary to 3 feet or more once again, and you may do it without effort, which means subconsciously.

On the other hand, if this person goes at a distance of more than 5 feet for any reason, you may automatically come closer to him in order to maintain a distance between 3 and 5 feet with him. The same equation applies to all other types of people, which means if your mother goes at a distance of 3 feet for any reason when the boundaries in her case are 1 foot to 2 feet; you may move closer to her in order to maintain this comfort zone. You see, how smart and intelligent system you have inside you, which does so many things for you; and that too without your conscious knowledge : )

After knowing how your comfort zone operates, let’s get back to the example. Pay close attention to how she maintains her comfort zone with you because this is one of the most important subconscious signs which can tell you which category has her subconscious mind put you into, at any particular time. In general, most women have similar types of comfort zones and most men also have similar types of comfort zones, though the average comfort zone of a woman may be different from the average comfort zone of a man, particularly when she’s interacting with a man.

This is because of the fear factor once again. Since women have subconscious fears related to men; the average distance they maintain in case of unknown women is less than the average distance they maintain in case of interacting with unknown men. As women don’t fear women in general, the boundary of discomfort shrinks. On the other hand, the boundary of discomfort expands in case of their interactions with men, as the fear factor is there, deep in the subconscious mind.

Therefore, if you want to assess your true situation, you should have the basic knowledge about her comfort zone with women in general as well as that in case of men in general. It is not difficult and you can learn it by simply observing her interactions with some males as well as with some females, belonging to general category or those belonging to special category like friends. For instance, if you observe that she allows her male friends up to a distance of 2 feet from her whereas she allows males in general category up to a distance of 3 feet, this much is sufficient for you.

As you approach her, stand at a distance of about 3 feet and wait for some time while talking. If she neither likes you nor dislikes you; she’ll maintain this distance from her side. If she doesn’t like you or she strongly dislikes your proposal, she may automatically increase the distance by stepping back or by leaning back. If that happens, simply get out of this place as soon as you can because you don’t stand any chance with her at all; at least at this time.

A caution is compulsory here. You should be duly aware of her comfort zone and in the first step, you should not invade her comfort zone or you may read this sign in a wrong way. For instance, if you get as close to her as 2 feet when you approach her for the first time, she may simply step back to maintain her neutral comfort zone with you. It doesn’t mean she doesn’t like you and it only means you initiated a panic response inside her, by invading her comfort zone in an abrupt manner. Hence the sign of disliking is valid only if you’re at a neutral distance and she still tries to increase this distance.

On the other hand, if she likes you; as you stand at 3 feet and wait while talking to her, she may automatically come closer to you. I’ve used the word automatically because these responses are not controlled responses and they’re natural responses which originate from the subconscious mind and hence the concerned person may not even know he or she’s doing such things, on a conscious level.

She may step forward or she may simply lean forward in order to reduce this distance, depending on the situation as well as on her overall personality type. If that happens, you should know that she likes you and the closer she gets, the stronger is her liking for you. Suppose she comes to a distance of 2 feet while talking to you, it means she’s comfortable with you because she’s allowed you in the zone where she puts her friends, and friends are always comfortable to be with. It only means one thing; she has liking for you and if she has fear also, the liking is more than the fear. Hence your chances are good.

However, the comfort zone factor doesn’t finish here and it only starts from here. Throughout the conversation, pay attention to the distance she maintains as it may keep changing. If you say something that makes her think negatively about you, this distance will increase automatically in the order of such negativity. It means a more negative gesture from you may offend her more and the distance may increase more.

If on the contrary, she decreases this distance by stepping forward or leaning forward when you do something or say something, it means that your gesture has created a positive response within her, she’s feeling more comfortable with you and hence the distance is decreased. The closer she lets you come, the stronger is the liking. If you find her comfortable and leaning forward instead of stepping forward, it means she wants to get closer but she wants you to make this move. In this case, you should take a step forward and you’ll find that she may not object at all. In fact she may welcome this move.

The distance factor can be used not only for this situation, but also in order to assess the value she assigns to you, at any stage during this relationship, if you succeed in having a relationship with her. For instance, as long as she doesn’t feel the most comfortable with you, she may still maintain a distance, even if it is 6 inches. However, as soon as she’s all into you, the distance will disappear and she may even start touching you or leaning against your body a number of times. This is a strong subconscious sign that you’re allowed as deep in her comfort zone, as anyone can be, at least for the time being.

When it comes to the sentences she may use if she likes you, even if she says no, her sentences may includes hints of some other options and the sentences may be open as well as suggestive. For instance, if you ask her out for a movie date and she says she doesn’t like watching movies or she doesn’t feel like watching a movie these days, when the basic signs are in your favor, she’s only rejecting the proposal for a movie and she may not be rejecting you.

Himanshu Shangari

 

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This is the time when you start doing this thing naturally which means without any conscious effort as all the effort is coming from your subconscious mind now; and there is no way you may feel this effort as it is a hidden type of effort. The reason it may happen is because most of us depend on the subconscious mind to do most things for us, so that the conscious mind may be kept free as it needs more effort as well as energy to carry out its operations, compared to the same taken by the subconscious mind. Hence in order to preserve energy as well as effort, you start transferring information related to various acts to your subconscious mind, as and when you attempt them through your conscious mind. This information is stored on your subconscious mind and it helps you do the same or similar things faster and easier, in the future.

Though it helps you manage time, effort and energy in an effective manner; it comes with a disadvantage, which most people witness. As you engage in hundreds of such small or big acts and you transfer the information related to them to your subconscious mind; your conscious mind gets into a habit of transferring each and every type of information, which it finds important for positive or for negative reasons. This is because your conscious mind starts depending on your subconscious mind for each and everything it wants to do and in order to receive help from your subconscious mind, it has to transfer all this information to your subconscious mind as the latter can’t help you with something, as long as it doesn’t have information related to such thing.

As soon as this habit is formed; most pieces of information that you come across are forwarded to your subconscious mind, through your conscious mind. This is why when someone tells you that you’re not looking well, your conscious mind transfers this information to your subconscious mind without delay. This is where the problem may start because your conscious mind may keep sending such information to your subconscious mind, which may cause problems later on.

However, the good thing is that you have the choice to consciously choose which information is to be passed on to your subconscious mind and which information is to be blocked from reaching your subconscious mind, if you know the secret of doing so. This job can be accomplished in two ways. The first way is to make your conscious mind strong enough so that it may not want to depend on your subconscious mind for help and the second way is to learn specific techniques which may enable your conscious mind to block any information it doesn’t want to send to your subconscious mind.

Looking at the first method which is meant for most of us, when it comes to transfer any type of information; your conscious mind obeys a rule. The stronger is your conscious mind, less is the amount of information it sends to your subconscious mind as the former knows it can deal with a number of things on its own and hence it doesn’t need help from the latter.

This is the key factor which decides confidence. As your conscious mind starts gaining strength; your confidence rises. This is the time when you’re ready to face any type of challenge or adventure because most challenges for you are the acts which have not been performed by you and which may be difficult to meet in the first attempt. Since the first attempt at anything is always made by your conscious mind, you don’t receive any support from your subconscious mind and you depend on the strength of your conscious mind alone. It means if your conscious mind is strong, you may accept one such challenge and if your conscious mind is weak, you may not accept one such challenge.

For instance, if someone offers you a significant amount of money as part of a bet; if you spend 30 minutes in ice cold water; this is what may happen. If your conscious mind is strong and you wish to earn this money; you may accept this bet without much trouble and you may even win this bet, even if you’re doing so for the first time in your life. On the other hand, if your conscious mind is weak, you may refuse this bet as this is the first time you may attempt to do something like this and your subconscious mind can’t help you. Since your conscious mind is weak; you may have this internal assessment of yours; that you won’t be able to win this bet.

However, if for any reasons; you have done this job a number of times in the past, though you may have been forced to do so; you may accept this bet. This is because you now have information related to this act on your subconscious mind and this information tells you that you can do it. Accordingly; you may accept this bet and you may win it too in this case. This is why parents, teachers or gurus may force you to do certain things though you may be afraid that you won’t be able to do them. They know that even if you fail during your first attempt; you may start getting better and better at one such act; as you keep trying it.

They may not know the exact mechanism which says that your subconscious mind starts helping you when you try the same thing again and again; and hence you’ll be able to do it; but they know through experiences that if someone tries a thing again and again; he may succeed. As a general rule, the faster you succeed at a new thing which means fewer are the number of attempts you make in order to succeed, the more confident you are, which means the stronger is your conscious mind.

Hence true confidence rises from the conscious mind and it helps you attempt things for the first time; without any fears or worries. This is why people with strong conscious minds or the people having true confidence may try a number of things for the first time, without worrying much about the results. On the other hand, people having weak conscious minds have low confidence and hence they avoid getting into new things. These people try to stick to the things as well as to the routines which are familiar to them; so that most of the job may be done by their subconscious minds, though they may not know this fact.

Though by doing so, they can certainly succeed at such jobs with the help of their subconscious minds; they keep missing out on the opportunities to provide strength to their conscious minds as such strength can only be gained by trying new things. Hence the secret to provide strength to your conscious mind is to keep trying more and more new things. While trying such things, try to be fearless and don’t worry about the results as that may create fear of losing. As you keep doing so; your conscious mind may start gaining more and more strength because you now need it more and more. It has already been explained in the third part of this book that any entity which needs more strength; gradually grows stronger.

The second way is the way of meditation which offers specific techniques to train your conscious mind in a way that it can choose to accept or reject any type of information at any time. Whichever information it rejects; doesn’t go to your subconscious mind and hence no record for such information is created in your memory as memory is dealt with by your subconscious mind. Though this way is not meant for an average person, I’ll still explain how it helps.

This is the secret method which spiritually advanced people like saints use. They can stay in the material world but it may not lure them in the way it lures a common person. Even if most beautiful girls try to entice them; such girls may fail to do so and this may happen in case of all other material desires. This happens because in order to desire something, you have to consciously like it and wish for it again and again; so that a subconscious record of these experiences may be created. As this conscious desire is created again and again; it is registered by your subconscious mind and this is when your subconscious mind takes over this operation and it starts encouraging you to fulfill this desire and it starts suggesting you the ways to fulfill this desire.

However, when it comes to true saints; they reach a stage where they see and feel everything; but they don’t create a conscious desire for anything. As long as there is no conscious desire; the subconscious mind can’t influence you to fulfill that desire because it doesn’t have any desire or data to start with. The saints make use of this method and they don’t let any material thing go through their conscious minds; to their subconscious minds and hence no record is created; which means no desire.

Therefore, when a beautiful girl tries to entice one such saint; he may keep watching her but he may stop his conscious mind from registering any impact of this event. Since the impact is not registered; nothing related to this girl is forwarded to his subconscious mind and hence no desire is created. You can relate this act to the act through which, anesthesia is injected in a body part of yours; when a doctor wants to operate it and he doesn’t want you to feel the pain. As long as the anesthesia remains effective, you can’t feel anything happening to this body part though it may be going through a surgery.

When it comes to feel any type of impact, your body only receives an impact but this impact is not felt by it and it is felt by your conscious mind, through the nerves which connect your conscious mind to different parts of your body. The anesthesia stops the nerves of a specific body part from sending signals from this body part to your conscious mind; as long as it remains effective. Hence whatever happens to this body part may not be felt by your conscious mind. Accordingly, you don’t feel any pain though the body part may be cut deeply; because feeling pain as well as many other such things is a conscious act and hence it can’t be carried out until your conscious mind is involved.

The anesthesia prohibits the involvement of your conscious mind in this act and hence you don’t feel any pain. Since your conscious mind is working well and it is able to carry out all other operations related to your body; except those related to this body part; you may see this surgery happening like a witness; without any impact being registered on your conscious mind. As your conscious mind doesn’t register this impact; it is not forwarded to your subconscious mind. Hence the only memory you may have of this surgery is that you saw it getting performed on you and nothing else; which means no pain or pleasure attached to it.

It further means that not much importance may be attached to this incident as pain or pleasure automatically attach importance to events or experiences; where pain attaches even more importance than pleasure. This is why you may remember those events of your life most clearly; which caused you some type of pain; followed by the ones which caused pleasure and then followed by the ones which caused none of these feelings; which means they were neutral type of events.

Have you ever wondered that when you go to a park or to any other public place for enjoyment; though you may come across hundreds of people; you may only be able to remember a few of them by the next day? There are three types of people you come across according to your mindset. The first type of people are the ones who create a sensation of pleasure; like a beautiful girl smiling at you. The second type of people are the ones who create a sensation of pain or fear; like a guy who beat you at one such public place. The third type of people are the ones who are neutral which means they don’t create any sensation at all, like people in general.

Accordingly; you may remember the ones who caused pain and you may also remember the ones who caused pleasure but you may not remember the ones who caused none of these feelings. This is because your conscious mind didn’t feel much impact through the people of the third type and hence the information related to them was not sent to your subconscious mind or to be precise; this information was a very weak type of information as the conscious impact caused by them was weak.

Based on the strengths of these impacts as felt by your conscious mind and as forwarded to your subconscious mind; you tend to remember that person the most; who created the maximum impact, followed by the one who created relatively less impact and so on. A person who influenced your conscious mind the most in positive or in negative way; may be easy to remember; even after a couple of months. This is how the conscious as well as the subconscious mind create memories; in co-ordination with each other.

It should be noted that the negative impacts are stronger than the positive impacts for most people; as pain is given more importance then pleasure by an average person. This is because avoiding pain is more important than creating pleasure for most people and hence pain is felt more strongly than pleasures; so that the events causing such pain may be avoided in future. This is why you may be able to remember a beautiful girl who smiled at you at a public park, even after six months or a year as she created the impact of pleasure on your conscious mind and the same impact was forwarded to your subconscious mind.

Taking a look at another possibility; you may remember a guy for many years or even for the rest of your life; whom you met just once at this park; whom you had a fight with and who beat you badly. This is an impact of pain and hence you may not forget it for many years or even throughout your life; depending on your overall personality type and depending on the quantum of importance your conscious mind has attached to it, while forwarding it to your subconscious mind. More is the quantum of importance attached to an event by your conscious mind; longer and more clearly your subconscious mind remembers it.

Hence you may not remember this surgery as clearly or in an as impactful manner as you may have; if it was done without anesthesia and you had consciously felt all the pain. If it happens to be so; you may not forget it for the rest of your life and whenever you remember it, you may start feeling some type of pain once again; as there is pain attached to this memory; on subconscious level. However, in case the anesthesia is given, you may remember this event not so clearly or not for a long period of time and on top of that; you may not feel any pain when you talk about it.

Let’s now get back to the saint, after knowing the mechanism of creating desires, memories and impact. The saint has learnt the art of rejecting the impact of everything he wants to avoid. Hence he may experience an event which may cause pleasure for an average person, like watching a beautiful girl dance, but he may consciously put this act into the third category which is the neutral category. It means that though an average person watching this girl may create a memory or desire as he may attach pleasure to this event; the saint may not do so because this event doesn’t cause much impact on his conscious mind.

This is because he’s learnt the art of putting every type of act into a neutral category. It means he has trained his conscious mind in a way that it looks at everything in a neutral way. Accordingly; the conscious mind doesn’t send much information related to any act to the subconscious mind; and hence no memory or desire is created. It means this saint has learnt to look at everything or experience everything; just like you look at hundreds of people in your day to day life but you don’t attach any importance to most of them as they fail to create an impact on your conscious mind.

This is the time to understand that the conscious mind of every human being has different levels of sensitivity and hence the definition of good, bad or neutral impact may be different for different people. For example, if an average person wins million dollars in a lottery; it may create a big impact of pleasure on his conscious mind which may forward it as an important memory to his subconscious mind. However, if a multi-billionaire wins the same amount of money in a lottery; he may not pay much attention and hence no significant impact may be created on his conscious mind, through this event. Similarly, if an average person wins hundred dollars in a lottery; it may not create much impact on his conscious mind.

Likewise, an average housewife may feel significant impact of pain on her conscious mind, if a needle pierces one of her fingers while sewing whereas a warrior may not feel anything through the same act. The warrior may need a deep wound caused by a sharp weapon, in order to feel the same conscious impact of pain. Similarly; all other types of impacts may vary in quantum for different people; depending on a number of variables. A popular actor may not care much for a beautiful woman as a number of beautiful women are mad for him. However, the same beautiful woman may cause a strong impact of pleasure on the conscious mind of a person who has never been in the company of a beautiful woman, though he has always wished for it.

A true saint masters the art of being absolutely insensitive to all material things and hence none of them can cause an impact on his conscious mind; whether such impact is good or bad. He experiences everything like a witness and he never becomes an active part of anything. It means he never thinks he’s doing something while doing it; and he thinks such act is happening through him. Hence he considers himself as a witness when experiencing things and he considers himself as a medium when certain things are done through him.

Through this technique, this saint has learnt the art of avoiding the conscious impact of each and everything; which means he has learnt the art of staying away from the desire element as no desire can be created without conscious impact. A particular desire may need big conscious involvement whereas another desire may need very small amount of conscious involvement or impact; but no desire can be created without conscious impact or involvement. The saint experiences everything but he remains uninvolved or unattached in all these things and hence he never witnesses a state of confusion or disturbance; as there is no conflict between his conscious and subconscious mind at any stage.

Hence a saint can go through every experience whether it brings pain or pleasure, but he remains unaffected from it on conscious level. Just as you watch the surgery being performed on you like a witness when you have been given anesthesia; he watches everything happening like a witness but he consciously chooses not to let such events create an impact, just like the surgery fails to create a conscious impact of pain in your case. Therefore, if a number of people keep telling him the same thing which he knows is not true; his confidence may not be shaken because the opinions of these people are unable to go through his conscious mind.

Accordingly; these opinions may not go to his subconscious mind and so; no confusion may be created. In order for any type of confusion to be created, there should at least be two options or two things. An average person comes across opinions from two parts of his mind; which are conscious and subconscious mind. Whenever these two minds have different opinions; a state of confusion is created. On the other hand, a saint only operates through his conscious mind and his subconscious mind remains passive most of the time. This is because subconscious mind is all about past, memories, experiences, desires and other such things.

The saint doesn’t create any of these things as he lives in the moment only and hence his subconscious mind doesn’t have anything to offer in most cases. Hence his confidence can’t be shaken because he only has one mind and not two minds. As long as there is only one; confusion can’t be there. For instance, if you’re to choose between red and green; you may get confused but if green is the only option; there is no confusion since there is no choice. Even when it comes to green; as long as the choice of taking or leaving it is there; you may once again get confused. However, if there is only green and you have to take it; there is once again no confusion. The saint always has only one option which comes through his conscious mind. Hence he’s truly confident and no one can shake his confidence or create confusions in his mind. We’ll talk more about this topic; later on.

Coming back to the example of the guy who walked out of the relationship; you see, it was obvious from the start but you didn’t care. Taking a look at some other facts, even you may have ignored many negative things about this guy in the beginning phase of this relationship as your subconscious mind may also have been helping you get into a relationship at the earliest, just like his subconscious mind. Consider all the situations mentioned by me for this guy at different stages, in your case also and you may find that you may also have been seeing what you wanted to see at every stage, just like this guy did.

You see, the outside world may not be changing its colors and it may be you who’s imposing your own colors on it. As long as you’re able to impose those colors, the world looks beautiful and the moment the world starts showing up in its true color, it starts looking illusionary. This way, most of us are under the spell of second type of illusion where the world doesn’t change at all and our perception changes alone. Accordingly, the illusion is not coming from outside and it is rather coming from inside.

Hence no matter how much you may try to fix this illusion from outside, which means no matter how many options you may try; this illusion may never go away. This is because the problem is inside and you’re trying to fix it from outside, which is not going to happen. All you need to do is to remove your glasses, whichever color they may be; and try to see the world as it is and not as you want to see it. That reminds me of the fourth option. So let’s discuss this option now.

In the fourth option, you’re looking at this wall without any glasses and hence you see it as it is. You’re aware about each and everything that happens to this wall, as and when it happens and the way it happens. This state of no glasses is represented by your conscience as this is the first thing it does. As conscience starts growing, you start seeing things and people like they are and not like you want to see them. Since there is no difference between what you see and what there is in reality; there is no illusion in this case.

Hence a person with high conscience doesn’t find any illusions in this world, though the other three type of people may think he’s lucky enough not be hit by them or he’s smart enough to handle the illusions. He’s neither lucky nor smart when it comes to face or handle illusions and it is the simple fact that he doesn’t see any illusions to start with. As there is no illusion, the question of how you handle it doesn’t rise in the first place. I mean, how can you deal with something which isn’t there to start with?

Coming back to the example where your conscience stops you from eating a lot of food, it may do so in a friendly manner and it may also ensure that your heart is also compensated in one way or the other, instead of ignoring it. Looking at the way it may do so, the next time you have free time and you feel like eating, it may remind your heart to have this food item again, supposing it is an item which is generally not made at home and it is available at commercial food joints only. As that happens, these four entities may once again start an equation within you. Let’s look at this equation now.

It may need ten minutes to go there, another ten minutes to come back and about thirty minutes to have this item; this is what your intellect may be thinking at this time. When it comes to your ego, it may never suggest this option to start with as it may want to use these fifty minutes for something profitable or constructive and there’s no profit in spending fifty minutes plus money to have what your heart wants.

Since you’re a conscience ruled person, you don’t have an issue with ego and your issue is more likely to be with the intellect. The intellect may suggest that spending fifty minutes and money merely in order to have a feeling which you have already had many times; is not a good option. Your intellect may suggest you to invest this time in learning something new; revise something already learnt or create something new with the knowledge you have.

Once again there’s a conflict between your intellect and heart like the previous situation and your conscience brings harmony through the same method. It honors the wish of your heart and it assures your intellect that its concern will also be taken care of. Your conscience keeps doing this and it maintains harmony between all these entities. It honors the request of your body when needed and it does the same in case of your heart and intellect.

Since your conscience is taking good care of all of them and it is not asking them to pay high price like the ego does, all these entities may start loving your conscience with the passage of time and they may be ready to make any compromise at its wish. The best thing is that your conscience never tells any of these entities to make unnecessary compromises and it lets all of them exhibit in their natural states.

In fact, it may boost their performances, as already explained. As a result, you may do business like a perfect businessman with no emotions involved, you may enjoy like a kid who doesn’t have intellect to start with and you may also take very good care of your body. This is called the state of balance and once you reach it, only then can you realize how good it is to be in this state. We’ll discuss more about the working of conscience in the coming parts of this book.

Going back, being an emotional type, you hit your lover and then you start hitting your fist against the wall, in order to balance out what you did. You may not know it consciously, but the number of times your fist hits against the wall may be such that the quantum of pain you suffer becomes equal to the quantum of pain that you lover is experiencing according to you. As you reach that point, your fist may stop hitting against the wall because even this feeling may leave your heart now; that you’re guilty of hitting your lover. Soon after this, the feeling of care for your lover may take over your heart and you may start attending to her medical needs.

It is interesting that you may not carry much guilt for this incident after you’ve injured your fist, as justice has been delivered according to you. Even if your lover brings up this incident after some time like a couple of months later; and she complains that you once hit her so bad; you may at once say that then you hit yourself also, as an act of repentance. When you say this, your voice as well as your body language may not carry much guilt or any guilt at all and instead, it may carry love. This is because your subconscious mind carries no guilt related to this incident as the equation was settled on the spot and hence; it may not express such guilt through subconscious expressions like your voice and body language.

Himanshu Shangari

 

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For example, if your subconscious mind is an airplane and your conscious mind is the pilot; this is what the former may do for you. If you choose the worst location for this airplane to land; this airplane will land you in that place or so to say, it may crash at that place as landing may not be available there; for such place may be hell. Similarly, if you choose a very good location, it may land you in that beautiful place and this place may be considered as heaven. Though it is the airplane which has landed you in hell or heaven in both these cases; you can neither blame it for going to hell nor can you appreciate it for taking you to heaven.

This is because this airplane is a medium and it only does what the pilot wishes it to do. Hence the good or bad choices are being made by the pilot and the airplane is only helping him achieve his objectives; whether good or bad. In the same way, your conscious mind makes all the choices and your subconscious mind helps fulfilling them. Hence whether it creates good or bad for you; is none of its business and the credit as well as the discredit; all goes to your conscious mind.

Therefore, if you don’t want your subconscious mind to create hell for you; stop creating such conscious wishes which end up in bringing hell to you. As long as you keep creating such wishes; your subconscious mind will keep helping you fulfill them and you may have to face negative consequences. On the other hand, if you keep creating positive wishes through your conscious mind, your subconscious mind will help you achieve them also and hence it may bring heaven to you through them. Whether you want heaven or hell is your conscious choice and your subconscious mind is there to help you fulfill your wishes; whichever type they may be.

So choose your wishes or desires wisely as they’re the ones which decide your future. This is why desire element lies at the root of the theory of Karma as well as at the root of your entire personality as your subconscious mind starts working in order to fulfill your desires; as soon as they’re created. Choosing to create negative desires means ending up in hell, choosing to create positive desires means ending up in heaven and choosing to have no desires of your own at all; means ending up being liberated. The best thing is that only you have the power as well as the right to control your desires and through the type of desires you create; you have the right to control hell, heaven or liberation which may come your way.

Back to the example, if your friend chooses the second option and he starts telling your common friends that you’re not returning his money; the situation is still manageable. This is because he may not be able to tell them that you’ve refused to return money and he may only be able to tell them that you’re making excuses which say you don’t have sufficient extra money. As you can understand, this situation is a lot different from the already discussed situation where your friend tells the common friends that you straight away refused to return his money.

This time, you’ve come up with a better plan; you’re not refusing to return his money and all you’re saying is that you’re genuinely short of money and you need more time. When it comes to most of your common friends, they may think in the first case that you’re bullying a friend by taking money and then refusing to return it. Hence they may stand against you because bullying is a conscious type of negative act and accordingly, it may bring conscious reactions from your common friends.

However in this case, your negative act is subconscious and accordingly; it may not give your common friends much space to engage in conscious reactions. It means your friends may get divided on whether to take up this matter with you or not due to the reason that you’re talking about your limitation to return this money and that may happen to anyone. Hence some of your friends may not even discuss this matter with you because they may think you’re genuinely not able to return this money and the friend who has given you money should understand your problem and adjust.

There may be a couple of friends who may take up this matter with you, encouraged by the friend who gave you money. However in this case also, they don’t hold solid ground and you’re in a better position. It means you can give them a number of genuine looking reasons for not being able to return this money and you may even end up gaining their sympathy. You may even try to convince them that the friend who gave you money behaved inappropriately with you or insulted you on a number of times; merely because you were not able to return his money on time, due to genuine problems.

Many other such things may happen from your side as well as from your friend’s side and the conclusion may be that almost all your common friends may choose to stay away from this matter. This may happen because they may not be able to decide which one of you is genuine and which one is not. It means you’re either not returning the money on purpose or your friend doesn’t want to understand even your genuine problems; and the common friends may get confused between these two possibilities. Their confusion may help you and you may keep having them as your friends.

Hence in this case, you may only lose the friend who gave you money and your subconscious mind may give you a number of reasons to justify this move so that you may not have much guilt for doing so. As this formula helps you once; you start repeating it and sooner than you know, it forms a pattern on your subconscious mind; a pattern which results in the negative habit of borrowing money and then not returning it. This is why majority of people engage in negative acts of the subconscious type; so that they may afford the luxury of staying away from conscious guilt and even staying away from conscious awareness of the fact that they’re doing anything wrong.

This is the reason that conscious awareness is considered as the first step to improve a negative habit. As soon as you consciously become aware of a negative habit, you may find it very difficult to continue having such habit because each time you engage in it; you may have to deal with conscious guilt instead of dealing with subconscious guilt. As you understand by now; conscious guilt is very difficult to handle and hence you choose to go with subconscious guilt which can keep you away; even from the awareness that you’re doing something wrong.

This is why the people who follow religions which prohibit eating non-vegetarian food may find it very difficult to try such foods whereas the people following religions which don’t prohibit such foods may not have any problems with such foods at all. The religions of the first type keep creating conscious awareness about the fact that eating non-vegetarian food is very bad and it brings a number of problems. Accordingly, a follower of one such religion may have to deal with conscious guilt if he chooses to engage in the act of eating non-vegetarian food. As you understand the power of conscious guilt; it keeps this follower away from eating non-vegetarian food.

On the other hand, a person who follows a different type of religion which doesn’t prohibit eating non-vegetarian food may not have conscious guilt or even subconscious guilt while eating non-vegetarian food and hence it may not be a big deal for him. The reason he may not even have the subconscious guilt is that at this time; there are no unanimously agreed measures to decide whether eating non-vegetarian food is good or bad. For instance, most people may agree that killing a human being is bad and hence it becomes a unanimously agreed negative act of extreme quantum.

When it comes to eat non-vegetarian food, some people may consider it good and some others may consider it bad. Accordingly; eating non-vegetarian food may result in any type of guilt; only in case of those people who consider it bad and not in case of those people who don’t consider it bad. Taking a look at the people who find it bad, if the awareness is conscious like the one coming through their religion, the guilt may also be conscious and hence they may find it almost impossible to eat non-vegetarian food as it is very difficult to deal with conscious guilt of any type.

Then there may be people who may practice in religions which don’t prohibit eating non-vegetarian food but these people may themselves be divided when it comes to eat such food. It means that a part of their personalities may tell them doing so is wrong whereas another part may tell it is not. Hence they may keep eating non-vegetarian food; though they may certainly have subconscious guilt for doing so as a part of them is stopping them from eating non-vegetarian food.

These people may find a number of different ways to deal with this subconscious guilt, based on their overall personalities. For instance, some of these people may regularly make donations to the institutions which work for animal welfare in one way or the other. As they make these donations and as they witness the animals benefitting through their donations, the subconscious guilt they have is balanced out with the act of donation. They eat some animals; then they do good things for some other animals and hence the equation is balanced.

Some other such people may keep dogs, cats or other pets and they may take very good care of them, which may once again be a subconscious act of getting rid of the guilt they may have. On the other hand, the people who eat non-vegetarian food without having any conscious or subconscious guilt may not feel the subconscious need to donate for animal welfare or to raise a cat or dog; as there is no guilt to start with and hence; no balancing act is required.

Let’s now get back to the case of the guy who keeps walking out of relationships without conscious knowledge of the fact that he’s doing so on purpose. His tenth relationship may have broken recently and his conscious mind may have assured him once again that it was not his fault and he’s worthy of having a healthy relationship. He tries once again and this time, he finds you. The same happens in this case also and he walks out of this relationship, leaving you wondering like each one of those ten girls as to why did he change?

Let me tell you a secret of the subconscious mind. Your subconscious mind may help you achieve whatever you wish to achieve; but it may almost always express your true personality or the truth; through subconscious words or expressions. This is because the mind is all about expressing it and hence it can’t stop expressing itself. Since your conscious mind is conscious, its expressions are also conscious which means they can be easily noticed or observed.

On the other hand, your subconscious mind is hidden and so are its expressions. Hence it expresses itself through hidden words, lines, expressions or body language, which are not easy to notice and you need deep attention to interpret them. If however, you’re able to read them, you are in a strong position to know the real meaning behind what someone is saying or doing.

Considering the present case, when this guy dropped this line during the early stage of this relationship that he’s had ten broken relationships in the last eight years, this line was dropped by his subconscious mind. You may go back and remember that you didn’t ask about this information and he offered it on his own. This line was a subconscious expression of warning for you, and this warning said that you should not move ahead with him, if you’re interested in a long term relationship.

I know it may seem like an insufficient sign but it is still an obvious sign; though it is a subconscious sign as it has been given by his subconscious mind; without his conscious knowledge. The reason it happens is because after each broken relationship, he may have carried subconscious guilt that he is responsible for that breakup and as the number of breakups increases, this guilt intensifies. This is because a number of his girlfriends may have blamed him for some negative conducts that he thinks he didn’t do; at least intentionally. Hence the subconscious guilt is there and it needs to be balanced out.

For instance, a number of them may have told him that the reason he’s finding faults with them is because he wants to get out of the relationship and he’s finding excuses to do so. Though he may not have agreed to this fact consciously, he knows deep down that it is correct. On subconscious level; he knows that he really doesn’t want to engage in long term commitments and that is why he starts finding reasons to get out of a relationship once it crosses a stage which he finds uncomfortable.

This results in the formation of subconscious guilt, as his subconscious mind has done all this. For instance, if you slap someone consciously without any valid reason; you may have conscious guilt and you may engage in conscious acts of balancing this act. This is because as long as you don’t balance this act, you may consciously keep remembering it and that may bother you again and again. Accordingly; you may engage in a conscious act of balancing and the quantum of such act may be equal to the quantum of the first act of slapping this person.

On the other hand, if you accidently happen to slap or hit someone; the guilt is subconscious and you may not feel much bad in this case. Hence you may simply say sorry and you may get out of it. Some parents hit their kids subconsciously for no big reasons and then later on, they buy them something that these kids really like. This gift is a subconscious act of balancing the subconscious act of slapping. However, even in case of subconscious guilt; as one such guilt becomes stronger, the balancing act becomes compulsory. Hence as the number of broken relationships increases, the subconscious guilt of this guy becomes stronger. Let’s say he reaches this stage after his seventh broken relationship; which means the subconscious guilt becomes strong after his seventh broken relationship.

This is where he needs a subconscious act to balance out his guilt. As a result, he may have expressed this feeling to his eighth, ninth, tenth and eleventh girlfriend which is you; that he’s had seven, eight, nine and ten broken relationships over the last few years. Coming to your case, he mentions this fact and then he adds that he thinks none of those girls was the one he was looking for. The second line adds a conscious expression and it tells about the state of confusion which is going on within him.

It means he expresses his subconscious guilt that he may not be worthy of a long term commitment and then he adds a conscious expression in the following sentence. This expression says that he thinks none of those girls was the one he was looking for. This sentence is in opposition to the first sentence though it may not look so at first sight. It is a conscious expression explaining the state of his conscious mind which says he’s not responsible for those breakups. However deep down, he has a subconscious guilt that he may have been responsible for those breakups.

A state of confusion is there between his conscious and subconscious mind and that is why he says ‘he thinks’. Kindly pay attention to this phrase which unfolds the mystery behind the information disclosed in these two lines. Since he’s confused whether or not he’s responsible for those breakups, he uses the phrase ‘he thinks’. It means even he’s not sure whether or not the girls were right for him and this is only an estimate.

Hence his subconscious mind releases the information that he’s had ten broken relationships in eight years and his conscious mind releases the information that he’s not sure whether something was wrong with those girls or it was he, who was responsible. Combining these two pieces of information, you can reach the conclusion that this guy can’t be trusted with long term commitments and even he knows it deep down, as obvious from his expressions.

Taking a look at another possibility, as long as this guilt is not strong but it is significant, like this may have happened after his third broken relationship; he may have told his fourth girlfriend that he’s had three broken relationships as the girls were not the ones for him. He may not have added the phrase ‘I think’ and he may have said clearly that the girls were not the ones for him. This is because till this point, his conscious mind is absolutely sure that he’s not guilty for these breakups; as the subconscious guilt is not strong enough to cause confusion.

However, as the number of breakups increases and as more and more of his girlfriends tell him that he wants to walk out of the relationship and that is why he’s making excuses; his conscious mind may get confused. This is because a number of people are telling him something that he believes is not true. Though he may be consciously sure that the girls are not right in what they’re saying; his subconscious mind knows they’re right and hence the subconscious guilt may start gaining strength. As more and more girls keep blaming him; the subconscious guilt gains even more strength and this is the time when an apparent clash may surface between his conscious and subconscious mind.

From this point onward, whenever a girl says he wants to walk out of the relationship and that is why he’s finding faults with her; this is what may happen inside this guy. Like always, his conscious mind may refuse to believe this information as this information is false according to his conscious mind. However, as this information reaches his subconscious mind; it validates this information and it then sends it back to his conscious mind for reconsideration. It means his subconscious mind tells his conscious mind that what he believes is not true and what the girl says is true.

Since the acts of subconscious mind are hidden, this information is forwarded by the subconscious mind in the form of an inner voice which may be called a type of inner fear that the girl is right. As it reaches his conscious mind, it rejects this information and the same is sent back to his subconscious mind which once again sends it back to the conscious mind; asserting that it is true. This may keep happening and this is what may cause confusion within this guy; as his mind is now split in two parts where one part is saying one thing and the other part is saying another.

Since this guy may not know the exact mechanism behind this process; he may simply feel that something from inside him is telling that the girl may be right in what she’s saying. Hence he gets confused when it comes to decide whether or not he tends to run away from long term commitments. It should be noted that as long as the quantum of subconscious guilt doesn’t become stronger than the quantum of conscious confidence; such confusion may not rise or it may not become significant. This is because till this point, the conscious mind may be well capable of dealing with the subconscious messages which may not be strong enough to challenge the strength of the conscious mind.

Taking an example, if you’re perfectly all right on a day according to your conscious knowledge and a number of people start telling you one after the other that you don’t look well, it may create confusion within you and this confusion may start gaining strength as the number of such people increases. This is because you don’t consciously find anything wrong with you but at the same time; a number of people are telling you the opposite. Hence you may get confused and you may even check your body temperature or other vital signs in order to make sure you’re all right.

A more common expression is that after the fifth or sixth person has told you so; you may go to someone you trust and you may ask him if he thinks you look well. When you ask him for his opinion about your general well being at this time; it simply means you’re confused about such well being and you want him to help you get out of this confusion.

If this person also tells you that something looks wrong with you; your confusion may intensify and you may start checking your vital signs. This confusion is being caused because you believe on conscious level that everything is well, which may be true in fact. However, as more and more people keep telling you that you don’t look well; you may start believing it on subconscious level that you’re not well. This is because your subconscious mind operates on the basis of repeated requests or messages of any type; and accordingly it starts believing in or working on things which are fed to it again and again.

The magicians as wells as the hypnotists know this secret and that is why they keep telling you the same thing again and again so that your subconscious mind may start believing it. Looking at some other examples; all the advertisements work on the same theory. These advertisements keep sending the same type of information to your subconscious mind again and again; and your subconscious mind may start believing that information with the passage of time. We’ll discuss this concept in details, later on.

Hence when your subconscious mind starts receiving this information again and again; it starts sending messages to your conscious mind that something may not be right. When this happens, you may get confused as the conscious part of your mind is telling you that everything is all right whereas the subconscious part of your mind is telling you that it is not. The moment these subconscious messages become strong enough to penetrate your conscious mind or so to say your true confidence or faith in you; you may start checking your vital signs; which confirms that your conscious mind has been dominated by your subconscious mind.

It is the time to know that stronger is your conscious mind; more difficult it is for people to convince you against something that it believes in. For instance, if you’re a person with weak conscious mind which means weak confidence; the confusion in one such case may arise after the second or third person tells you that you’re not well. If your conscious mind is stronger than this, the confusion may start only when five to six people tell you this fact. If your conscious mind is even stronger, eight to ten people may be needed to create this confusion.

Taking a look at the extreme, if your conscious mind is absolutely strong; such confusion may not be caused even if the entire world tells you that you’re not well. This is because when you reach such a stage, your conscious mind becomes extremely capable of noticing each and everything you want to notice, about you as well as about other people or things. Hence if you’re unwell at this stage; you’ll be the first one to notice due to the very high awareness level of your conscious mind. At this stage, even if a minor negative change happens in your body; you’re able to feel it as soon as it happens even if this change is so small that it may not be captured by the doctors also; after doing all the tests.

When you reach such high level of conscious awareness, no one can make you believe you’re wrong when you consciously know you’re right. Hence when the first person tells you that you don’t look well, you may not care at all as your body is not giving you any signs of being unwell. At the most, you may connect to your body and mind for a moment and you may try to feel if something is wrong. As you do so and as you feel everything is all right; this matter is finished here. No matter how many people may tell you after this that you don’t look well; you may not be confused at all. This is because your conscious mind is so strong that your subconscious mind may not be able to penetrate this strength; no matter how many messages of the opposite type it may send to it.

An interesting thing is that when you reach one such stage which is the stage of very high spiritual growth; your conscious mind takes over your subconscious mind and accordingly; the latter doesn’t oppose the former and they both form harmony with each other. It means your subconscious mind listens to your conscious mind alone in this case; and it doesn’t listen to anyone or anything else. In other words; your conscious mind becomes strong enough; not to pass on any such information to your subconscious mind; which the former doesn’t like.

This is the biggest secret of spiritually advanced people. It should be noted that each and every type of information is first sent to your subconscious mind through your conscious mind and only then the former may store and use it. This is why you need more effort when you do something for the first time as all the effort is being done by your conscious mind and almost no effort is being done by your subconscious mind.

It becomes relatively easier the second time and even easier as you start doing it again and again; as your conscious mind keeps transferring more and more information related to this act to your subconscious mind; each time you try it. Based on this information, your subconscious mind helps you when you try to do it again and again; and when this information is enough to let your subconscious mind deal with this act on its own; without any help from your conscious mind; a pattern or a habit has been formed.

Himanshu Shangari