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The time flies and the moment of departure finally arrives. You may not wish to leave but you have to and the same may happen to this girl also. As you two depart; the urge to meet again may start getting stronger and you two may fix the next date soon after departing or even before departing. This relationship may turn out to be one of the most meaningful relationships of your life and all you may feel is that everything happened naturally.

Well, most things were well planned and the comfort caused right from the beginning of this relationship was the already existing comfort between you two from past lives; though none of you knew this. Hence you felt like being comfortable in her company and she felt the same; right from your first meeting, though this comfort was there since a long period of time; on subconscious level.

Looking at some other interesting facts, when you two dress up for this first date; most of your choices related to this act may be controlled by your subconscious minds, in order to impress the other person. For instance, this girl may feel like wearing jeans with a top; for no obvious reasons though she may have a number of other types of dresses. She may naturally choose to wear a black top, though she likes blue, red and pink also. Similarly, she may make a number of other such choices related to how she dresses for this date; and all these choices may happen naturally.

In reality; she may only feel comfortable with a type of dress or with a color; which you like and her subconscious mind knows it. For instance, though she may try some skirts before trying a combination of jeans and top; something may not feel right deep down for her. She may not know why, but she may feel something is missing. She may try a combination of jeans and top and she may start feeling comfortable at once. She may then try different colors for her top and the moment she tries a black top; she may start feeling the most comfortable. The same may happen in case of choice of jewellery, makeup, footwear and all other things.

Her subconscious mind is helping her dress up in a way which impresses you a lot, according to the information it has, based on your interactions from the past. She may simply do all these things on the basis of inner feelings of comfort or discomfort and she may not be able to assign visible reasons for the choices she makes. For instance, though red may also be her favorite color like black; she may not feel the same vibe of comfort today; when she wears a red top; and this vibe instead comes when she tries the black one.

This is because her subconscious mind knows you like black more than red and hence it makes her prefer black over red. The same may happen in your case and you may naturally wear things which she likes a lot. It is like you two know each other very well, consciously for many years and you two are dressing up to impress each other. Since you both know what the other person likes, it is easy for you to do so. The same is happening here, though on subconscious level and hence you two have no conscious knowledge that you’re dressing in a particular way; in order to impress the other person as he or she likes this way of dressing.

You see, how your subconscious mind can fix most things for you; even before you have the chance to have your first chat with your life partner. When you two meet over your first date; this girl may have dressed in a way you like a lot and you may have dressed in a way she likes a lot. A number of other such things may happen subconsciously and that is why you may feel that it took no effort for this date to convert into a relationship.

Since all the effort was done by your subconscious minds; you’re right in thinking so because you only see that effort as effort; which has been done consciously. Since both of you may not have done much to impress the other on conscious level; it all seems like happening effortlessly. Hence you may feel like your relationship was blessed from the first moment. It is true and this blessing came through your own subconscious mind, which simply acted on your desires from the past lives. It means deep down; only you two are blessing yourself with this relationship and no one else is doing this job for you : )

It should be noted that the above example just explains the overall nature of subconscious acts in a particular type of case and some of these events may happen differently in case of different people belonging to the same type. However, one thing may be common and that is the fact that all such couples may naturally do things in the beginning of their relationships; which the other partners like. As already explained; their subconscious minds know what their partners from past lives like and hence these people start doing those things naturally; which means on subconscious level.

The term ‘a particular type of case’ in this context means that this is the study of the type of case where two people have had a significantly positive love relationship in their past life or past lives. Apart from this, two people who meet for dating purposes may have had a number of other types of relationships in their past lives.

For instance, a couple may have had a relatively less positive relationship in past life; another couple may have had a mixed type of relationship which means positive at times and negative times and yet another couple may have had a relationship which may have ended up negatively though it may have started positively in their past life. There may be yet another couple who may be interacting with each other for the very first time, which means they may not have had any relationship or interaction in their past lives.

The scope of this study is vast and there may be a number of different combinations of relationships; that different couples may have had in past lives. Based on the type of relationship a particular couple has had in the past life; their natural behaviors which mean their subconscious behaviors during the beginning phase of their interaction or relationship in this life may be described. It should be noted that the time taken by a couple in this life to reach an important stage in a relationship like marriage or live in; is an important factor when it comes to determine the strength of their relationship in their recent past life.

As a general rule; stronger relationship in the past life means a quicker marriage or live in; whether such relationship was positive or negative in past life. On the other hand, a couple who had a relatively weaker relationship in the past life whether such relationship was positive or negative; may take much more time when it comes to start living in, getting married or even when it comes to start having a well established relationship; starting from their first date. If two people never had any relationship in the past lives and they’re meeting for the first time ever throughout the journey of their souls; the chances are high that they won’t witness a live in or a marriage and they may separate before this stage.

This happens because a stronger relationship from the past means much more activity or energy in such relationship, whether such energy is positive or negative. Since this relationship featured more activity; the same trend may start in this life also; as there may be a lot to settle from the past life. It is the time to know that apart from being positive, negative or mixed; a relationship also possesses strength or energy which is independent of positivity or negativity; and which is a very important criterion when it comes to study relationships.

Let’s take an example before dealing with this concept directly. We know that sugar as well as salt mixes with water. Let’s consider sugar, salt and water as three people and let’s draw two possibilities where water and sugar form one couple whereas water and salt form another couple. Suppose the mixture of water and sugar is positive and the mixture of water and salt is negative, which means we assume salty water as negative and sweet water as positive in this case. As water and sugar try to form a couple; which means when they try to form a mixture; though it is going to be a positive mixture; there are a number of factors which can affect the speed at which this mixture is formed.

The most common way is to put sugar in water and it’ll gradually get dissolved. Let’s consider it a relationship of average strength and let’s now look at other variations. If we put powdered sugar instead of regular table sugar into water, the process speeds up. If we use heated water, the process further speeds up. On the other hand, if we use sugar granules and we try to mix them with ice cold water; the process slows down. Similarly, the quantity of water versus the quantity of sugar is also a criterion as it decides how sweet the mixture may become.

The same can be observed in case of mixing salt with water by changing the temperature of water as well as by changing the type of salt. For instance, solid blocks of salt may take more time to dissolve in water than powdered salt. Hence the speed with which this relationship which means a mixture may be formed; varies in both these cases, depending on a number of variables though the overall nature of the mixture may still remain the same.

Similarly, the quantity of water versus the quantity of salt is also a criterion as it decides how salty the mixture may become. Hence the time taken by these mixtures to form and the overall strength of these mixtures, which means how sweet of salty they are; may be different in different cases; depending on a number of variables.

It means though a mixture of salt plus water is still negative as assumed by us; it may take much longer for the peak negative expression to appear; if solid salt is tried to mix with ice cold water. Similarly, a mixture of sugar and water is still positive but it may take longer or shorter time to be called a mixture; depending on what type of water and what type of sugar is mixed and depending on some other variables. For instance, if solid sugar is put into water just above its freezing point and the outside temperature is also just above the freezing point of water; this mixture when formed may certainly be positive but a very long period of time may be required; before we may even call it a mixture.

The same happens in case of people. Two people with weak auras of any type may take much long to form a relationship whereas two people with strong auras of any type may form a relationship at a quicker pace. Have you noticed that some couples get married soon after their first interactions whereas some other couples may take many years to reach this decision? The answer lies in the strengths of their relationships from the past; and these strengths further depends on their auras or in easy words; on their overall personalities.

People who have strong auras whether positive or negative; tend to create many more interactions with their partners whereas people with weak auras whether positive or negative tend to create fewer interactions with their partners. This is because strong aura means more energy and more energy means more activity. Similarly, weak aura means less energy and less energy means less activity. Have you noticed that some couples have a lot going between them most of the time, which means they keep interacting with each other in one way or the other whereas some other couples just seem to pass their time in each other’s company and there may nothing much going between them, most of the time?

The answer lies in their auras which means in their overall personalities. This is why some relationships are very dynamic and they have lots of energy in them; whether positively or negatively; whereas some other relationships are slow or very slow; as there is not much energy in them. Hence if a couple has had a positive relationship in past life and the intensity of this relationship was high; they may build a solid positive relationship in this life; within a short period of time. On the other hand, if a couple has had a positive but less or much less intense relationship in the past; they may need long or very long time to build a relationship in this life. This is the couple which may take many years before getting married.

Let’s now look into a negative type of relationship from past life and let’s see how it may materialize in this life. For the sake of this example, we’ll consider this relationship as a negative as well as intense relationship. Some people may wonder why does a couple need to form a relationship in this life to start with; if such relationship was negative in their recent past life? This is because whether positive or negative; any desire has to be fulfilled completely in order to be deleted from the task list of a soul. Hence a negative relationship may end only when both partners engaged in this relationship; or at least one partner gets tired of it; and this partner develops a strong desire to move out of this relationship.

However, if both the partners want to remain engaged in one such relationship for negative reasons; this relationship may keep happening life after life. These relationships are generally the relationships based on revenge and that is why they happen. Suppose a couple had a relationship in their recent past life and though it started positively; it soon turned negative. A number of negative things were done by both the partners to each other and they both wanted to take revenge; till the end of their lives. Since they don’t desire to move out of this relationship and they rather wish to trouble the other person through a relationship; they’ll meet again in this life.

When it happens, they may quickly get married to each other. It is interesting to note that most of their interactions may have negativity and even the decision of marriage may be based more on negative reasons than being based on positive reasons. For instance, neither the guy may like this girl deep down nor this girl may like this guy deep down. This is because they hate each other on subconscious level due to the negative experiences from past life; and this hate is bringing them closer, instead of love doing so.

Yes, hate can also bring people closer, so that they may settle their pending accounts and they may move on their separate ways after clearing all the negativity which exists between them. If you have an enemy and you hate him a lot; simply try to focus on this relationship of hate; and this is what you may find. You may find that you want to settle a score with him and if given a chance; you’d love to settle it. This desire to settle score with him is what will bring you two together, so that this score may be settled and this desire may be deleted.

However, once your score is settled; your enemy may now have a score to settle with you since you’ve caused him pain in order to settle your score and he now wants to return this pain to you. Hence you two may once again get in touch, he may settle his score but then; you may once again have a score to settle with him. This may go on until a stage is reached in a particular life; when one of you gets tired of it and this is when this game ends.

It usually happens when one of you achieves sufficient spiritual growth to realize that one of you will have to quit the desire of settling score as otherwise; this negative relationship may never come to an end. If you’re that person; which means you achieve sufficient spiritual growth in a particular life say in this life; the enemy may keep doing bad to you but you may choose not to respond and you may bear all the pain caused by his acts. As soon as he feels his score is settled; this relationship ends because you don’t have any score to settle now.

It’s like a game where one of you has to win and you’ve become wise enough to accept defeat; since you know there’s no point in playing this game as it is useless; and the only way this game ends is when one of the two players accepts defeat. It should be noted that the game of hate can never be won by anyone, until the other person chooses to quit, which may be interpreted as accepting defeat.

This is because there is no finishing line in this game, which means it is independent of time and other conditions. It’s like you’re wrestling with someone and the rule says that as long as one of you doesn’t accept defeat; the game won’t be decided; even if it takes very long time. Hence the only way this game may end is when one of you accepts defeat. Another rule says that even if you’re badly injured or you get unconscious; you may take time to recover and then get back to this game. It means one of you has to accept defeat, in order for this game to end and there is no other way.

If such is the case, you may both keep wrestling for days, weeks, months or even for years as none of you may wish to accept defeat; and there is no other way to end this game. A time may come when the wiser one of you may choose to accept defeat since he may realize that there is no point in wasting time for this game. Though he may seem to have lost when he accepts defeat; he’s the winner in reality. This is because he’s seen the futility of this game of hate and through this experience; he’s learnt to stay away from all such games in future. It means this person won’t agree to engage in this type of wrestling with anyone else in future; as he knows how useless and painful this game is.

On the other hand, the person who wins by virtue of the other person accepting defeat is a loser in the deepest sense. This is because he’s won this game after long period of wait; this will boost his ego and he will engage in such games again and again. Since he knows through experience that the other party may accept defeat after some time and he loves to win; he may keep playing this game of hate with different people, simply in order to win. Though he may certainly win most of these games or all of them as the opponents in all cases may prove wiser and they may choose to quit; this person is doomed to keep playing this game of hate.

This is because more he wins more he wants to play and more he’s stuck in this game of hate. Accordingly, he may keep playing it though the other player may keep changing, which means his enemies may keep changing. Hence the winner in this game is loser in the deepest sense whereas the one who accepts defeat is the winner. This is why you should not hate people because this hate may get you tied to them again and again, which means you may have to face them in a number of lives; in order to get rid of such hate.

We’ll continue this discussion in the next part of this book. We’ll see how a negative type of love relationship forms and how the people engaged in this relationship may harm each other; without their conscious knowledge. So let’s take a break for the time being and let’s meet again after this break : )

 

Lord Shiva Bless You

Himanshu Shangari

 

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It means if someone wanted to travel, he could only carry ten kg load with him due to his physical limits; he had the option to carry gold; diamond or things of utility like grains, other food items, certain tools, weapons and other such things; he would have ignored gold and diamonds altogether and he would have taken other things which might prove useful. This is because gold or diamond carried no value then; and hence they couldn’t buy anything or they couldn’t be exchanged for anything. Apart from this, you can neither eat gold nor can you make weapons with it due to various reasons beyond the scope of this discussion; and the same goes for diamond also.

So what was the sense in carrying or even choosing to have these items with you if you were born during those times? It absolutely made no sense and hence you wouldn’t carry them with you or you wouldn’t even bother collecting them. Let’s now jump into a time when these items have been assigned high value like the present time. If you face the same situation today; you may try to carry as many diamonds as you can, followed by gold and then by other things; assuming you have the luxury to carry them or collect them.

So what has changed during these years? If gold or diamond means heaven today; why wasn’t it so during those times? Gold and diamonds haven’t changed but the impact they bring to us has changed. The reason for this change in impact lies in our interpretation. When we didn’t attach any value to them; they didn’t do much to serve us and as soon as we attached high value to them; they became capable of bringing many types of material heavens to us. Once again, it is not about gold or diamond; it’s about how we interpret them at any given point in time.

Imagine what may happen if this news is made public today that from now on, gold and diamond will carry no value and all the people who have them can exchange them with another metal which may be proposed as a substitute. Most people may quickly exchange these things with the new metal of high value and no one may care to collect them any longer. It means most people may stop wearing gold ornaments or diamond jewellery and they may start wearing the new metal which carries high value.

An interesting thing is that the same people who find diamond jewellery beautiful till this day; may start finding it not so beautiful or not beautiful at all. This is because in that situation, diamond doesn’t carry any value and hence there is no point in finding it beautiful. It means that even beauty doesn’t lie in the diamond and it lies in our interpretation of it, like all other things. As long as the diamonds carry high value; people may take pride in wearing them and their minds may necessarily find beauty in them.

However, as soon as they lose material value; the minds of the same people may change and as a result; diamonds may not look the same beautiful. In the deepest sense, you wear these jewellery items to let other people know that you’re rich enough to afford them. Hence these items keep changing depending on which of them are now capable of making you look rich. It means these metals are just the media through which you can show other people that you’re special or blessed; which further means it’s all about your ego in the end.

It should be noted that the quality of being special in the deepest sense; rises from the conscience whereas the desire to show other people that you’re special rises from ego. An interesting thing is that as long as you have the desire to show other people that you’re special; you simply can’t be special in the deepest sense. The moment you get rid of this desire to show you’re special; you become special; in the deepest sense. We’ll discuss more about this topic, later on.

Imagine all the currency notes of your country are discontinued at once and you’re directed to exchange them with new currency notes within a specific period of time. This announcement changes everything. The same currency notes which brought comfort to you may now start bringing discomfort to you because if you don’t exchange them within the specified time; you may never be able to exchange them and they may prove waste forever. As a result, you may do your best to get rid of them at the earliest whereas you did your best to collect them even until a moment before you received this information.

Once again, the currency notes are the same but the impact caused by them on you has reversed. They brought heaven to you until a few moments ago and they now seem like hell to you since you find them useless and you want to get rid of them at the earliest. Everything is the same about these currency notes except your interpretation of them and that changes everything for you.

Going back, your subconscious mind works on the basis of patterns and not on the basis of events. Hence your conscious mind may need much time and effort to form each one of these patterns on your subconscious mind through repeated events of the same or similar type; and your conscious mind may again need much time and effort to modify or delete some of these patterns.

Your conscious mind may be considered like the weather which may change on daily or even on momentary basis whereas your subconscious mind can be considered like the climate; which is the sum total of the weather; over a long or very long period of time. As you can understand, weather can change any time but it is not easy for climate to change and even some minor changes in climate may take many years to happen. If we want to assess the possibility of rain; weather deals with the rain which may happen today or tomorrow whereas the climate deals with how much rain a region may receive on average, during a year or during a particular season.

Therefore, if you don’t have weather predicting devices or systems; it becomes difficult to predict whether it may rain tomorrow or not as you can only be sure about today or to be precise, you can only make a guess about the present moment. This is like your conscious mind, dealing with individual events. However, even in the absence of weather predicting systems; you can still be able to predict the average amount of rain that your region may receive in a year or in a season; which means over a longer period of time.

You’re able to do so as you see it happening every year and though the days of rain may change during a year or season; and even the amount of rain during a particular day may change a lot every year; the overall amount of rain which happens during a season or a year; doesn’t change much and it remains closer to the predicted limit. Hence you can’t depend on the weather of a region if you don’t have weather predicting systems though you can certainly depend on the climate of a region as it follows a uniform or predictable pattern.

Imagine what may happen if the climate also starts behaving like weather? It means it is cold one day and it is hot another day. It rains one moment; it stops raining the next moment and then it starts raining again, the moment after that. If this keeps happening, you may simply not be able to grow any crops because they need some predictable climate patterns in order to grow. The same may happen to many other things which are dependent on uniform patterns of climate and all such things may fail to materialize. Hence there is a need to have some type of predictable climate in order to maintain harmony in life; in any region in general or on earth in general.

This is what happens in case of conscious mind and subconscious mind. Even if the former tries; it simply can’t change any pattern formed on the subconscious mind through a single event or so to say; without resistance and it needs effort and time. For instance, the average temperature of a geographical region during a particular month may not increase or decrease by 10 degrees all of a sudden. If such change is to happen; it may happen over 10, 20, 100 or even 1000 years as this process is slow and not fast. Therefore, habits are formed on your subconscious mind and it takes effort and time to form them, to modify them and to delete them.

This effort varies in case of different people as well as in case of different habits, which means how strong or weak those habits are. Stronger is a habit, more effort is needed to change it. Since the effort is to be generated by the conscious mind and the resistance is to be offered by the subconscious mind; the strength of your conscious mind versus the strength of your subconscious mind is the most important criterion; when you want to make some changes to your personality. As a rule; more spiritual growth means more conscience, more conscience means more strength for your conscious mind and stronger conscious mind means it is easier to make changes to your personality. We’ll discuss more about this, later on.

Let’s now get back to the example, where you meet this girl. Your subconscious mind knows most of her preferences as well as her habits and her subconscious mind also knows the same about you; though none of you know it on conscious level. If you know thousand habits and preferences that she had in recent past life; the chances are high that only a few of them may have been changed by her, due to the reasons already explained; unless she’s a spiritually advanced person in which case; she may be able to change majority of her habits and preferences if she wishes so; due to her strong conscious mind. However, this is an exceptional case and this is not the scope of this discussion.

As you still know most of her habits and preferences deep down; your subconscious mind may start helping you out in order to resume the relationship with this girl and her subconscious mind may also do the same. Since none of you knows these things consciously; it may look like magic or magical to you. The first thing which is bound to happen is that no matter how many filters of formality you apply so that your first conversation may look decent or reserved; your subconscious expressions may start shouting that you like her a lot and the same may happen to her also.

It means though you two may engage in formal talking as this is your first meeting or date; this formality may only be expressed through your conscious channels like your words and all the subconscious channels may express clear consent, liking or willingness. Hence you may strongly feel attracted to this girl and you may have this feeling that she also likes you a lot; and the same happens in her case also. This is what you call love at first sight. The reason you call it love at first sight is because you’re consciously seeing or meeting this girl for the first time though in reality; you’ve spent many years or even many lives with her; but you don’t know this fact on conscious level.

This is why you may find that some people just get in touch with you at different times in your life like most other people; and these specific people become very important for you in a short period of time; contrary to how you form relationships in general. All such people have already established relationships with you from past life or lives and though your conscious mind doesn’t know this fact; your subconscious mind knows each and everything about these relationships. Hence you may feel from the beginning of such relationships that these people can be trusted.

Comparing them to the people who didn’t have much interaction with you from past lives; whenever you think about anything proposed or offered by those people; your conscious mind starts weighing things as it does in general. It means you start measuring their visible positive points against their visible negative points and based on this comparison; you decide whether or not you may trust them with different things, in the earlier stages of such relationships.

However, when it comes to the people who have already had significantly positive relationships with you in past lives; this assessment is done in a different way. Though your conscious mind still does the same type of calculations like weighing their visible advantages against their visible disadvantages; the invisible factor or so to say; the subconscious factor also comes to the picture. It should be noted that in case of general people; your subconscious mind doesn’t have much information or any information about them from the past and hence your conscious mind does most of the job. Therefore, such assessments follow a visible pattern, which means you know exactly why you should trust or not trust them.

When it comes to these special people; your subconscious mind already has a significant amount of information about them from the past lives; and that changes everything. As your conscious mind starts assessing these people for certain things; the subconscious mind interferes. Your hear strong inner voices which may be called intuitions as they come with no conscious reasons; and these voices tell you that even if you don’t have sufficient visible information to trust these people at this time; you should go ahead and trust them.

Since you don’t find the reason for these voices; that is what makes these reasons invisible for your conscious mind as the reasons are certainly there on the subconscious level; and it is only the fact that you can’t see them on conscious level. Hence these reasons look invisible to you and so you call these voices intuitions, which means voices or feelings without visible reasons.

Though your conscious mind may not understand a thing; your subconscious mind may assure you that you can go ahead and trust this person; and this assurance may come through inner voices. You choose to listen to these voices as they’re strong; you go ahead and trust these people and this trust proves right most of the time. You may call it magical but there are solid reasons behind all this and hence there is no magic.

Hence when you meet this girl, all your subconscious expressions as well as all her subconscious expressions may speak out loud that you two like each other a lot. Though it is the first meeting or date; you feel like a lot has happened over this date and she also feels the same. This is due to the fact that you need much more time when you need to create something for the first time; compared to repeating or doing something that you’ve already done a number of times. Since you’ve done a number of things with this girl in the past; you find that doing those things comes natural to you during this date.

Your subconscious mind has perfect record of her preferences as well as that of your interactions from the past and it uses them to resume this relationship. Since you don’t know the acts of your subconscious mind on conscious level; it looks like happening by magic or by luck to you. Let’s look at certain things which your subconscious mind may do for you and which may put you in a position of advantage.

Suppose you like tea as well as coffee and you have both of them at times. Suppose this girl likes coffee and she doesn’t like tea. Since your subconscious mind knows this fact; it may help you out here. As you order for something; you may choose to have coffee today instead of tea; and you may do so randomly which means without any conscious reason. However, this is not random and your subconscious mind has made you do it; by controlling what comes out of your mouth when you order. This is because it knows the girl doesn’t like tea and ordering coffee at an early stage of this relationship may help you since bigger number of common interests or preferences may help you develop a relationship at the earliest.

Hence you may choose to have coffee and you may even mention that you like coffee a lot, though you may not say it in a planned way and it may just get out of your mouth randomly; and you know why. Since the girl is also going to have coffee and you’ve told her that you like coffee a lot without consciously knowing that she likes it too; you look natural to her. It means if she says she likes coffee and then you tell her that you also like it a lot; she may think you’re saying so to create common grounds and it may or may not be true. It generally happens at the beginning of this type of relationships and people do so to find or create common grounds.

However in this case, since you’ve expressed your liking before asking her about her liking; she only has the choice to believe that you really like it; which means you two have one thing in common. The trick is that your subconscious mind also knows that she likes coffee and that is why it makes you express this fact that you like coffee a lot; before asking her what she’ll have. When it comes to her subconscious mind; it also knows that you’re telling the truth because it knows you really like coffee. Hence her conscious mind doesn’t have any reason to doubt this fact since you’ve mentioned it without asking her about coffee; and her subconscious mind already knows you’re speaking the truth.

As a result; she may believe at once that you really like coffee a lot and that initiates a common ground between you two. Moving on; even before you talk about coffee; your subconscious mind may start impressing her without your knowledge. For instance, when you approach her for the first time and you ask her out; your subconscious mind already knows that she likes chatting over coffee and she doesn’t like going to public parks or movies; as much as she likes coffee. Once again; you may randomly propose her to chat with you over a cup of coffee though you may have proposed a public park or a movie to some other girls; when you asked them out for the first time.

As you know, this is not random and your subconscious mind makes you do it in the most natural way. Since this girl loves going to cafes for chatting; you’ve added one more advantage to your account. She feels attracted to you, she feels like going out with you and you’ve offered her favorite place for the first date. The answer comes as a yes and neither you nor she knows that it is a planned proposal.

When you to go to a café; you may randomly choose a table; say in the corner and that may happen for no obvious or conscious reasons. Have you noticed that at times when you go to such places and there are a number of vacant tables; you may take a moment or two to decide which table to choose? You may then decide to go with one particular table and you generally don’t have conscious reasons for choosing that table. It means this table may at times be in the corner, it may be in the middle at another time or it may be someplace else at another time, though you may certainly have your favorite spots. It all happens naturally and you just feel like going with the inner voice which selects this table. Well, now you know the reason behind this inner voice.

In the present case, your subconscious mind may encourage you to choose a particular table and you may naturally lead her towards that table; say a table in the corner which is just by the side of cash counter; though you may or may not choose this setting in general. You may not have any idea at all that you’re choosing this table to impress her as you’re not planning this move; though only on conscious level.

Your subconscious mind has a record of her preferences and it knows that when she visits places like cafes; her favorite spot is the corner closest to the cash counter. She may have her own reasons for this liking and she may even like another type of spot. The point is that whatever her preference may be; your subconscious mind already knows it through experience.

As you lead her to one such table; you’ve already scored points, even without your conscious knowledge. This is because she likes this table the most; among all the vacant tables and you’ve also chosen this table; which is one more sign that you two have things in common; deep down. She may not interpret these signs on conscious level but she may clearly feel that things are happening in your company; as naturally as they happen to her when she makes the choices. This means that if she had the choice to make these decisions; she would have made them in the exact same way. Hence you touch her deeply since you do things like she does; and you don’t even know it till this point.

It should be noted that the closer you get to someone’s subconscious mind and the more you touch it; stronger is your relationship with this person, as a result. This is why you’ll find that when you go out for a dinner with your wife and kids; you tend to do things which they like, assuming that you want to make them happy. You do so because those things touch them on the deepest level, which means on the level of their subconscious minds and hence they start liking you more from this level. It means their subconscious minds start attaching more value to you since you know how to comfort or please them.

Same thing is happening here with the only difference that you’re not doing it on purpose and you don’t even know that you’re doing it; and it all feels like just happening according to you. Since the girl also have no idea that you know what she likes; she can only understand that you two have common tastes. When you get closer to this table; you may once again choose a random side to offer her for seating; and this is the side she likes the most; when she has the choice to make. For instance, you may offer her the side which gives her the view of cash counter and it may be her favorite side; though you may do so randomly : )

You see, even before you two have actually interacted; your subconscious mind has guided you in a way that she’s already feeling relaxed in your company because her favorite things are happening when she’s with you and that also when you don’t know anything about her choices; at least according to her conscious knowledge as well as your conscious knowledge. As you ask her for coffee and she says yes; you ask her if she’d like to eat something and you may then randomly suggest if she’d like to have a chocolate pastry.

You’re bang on target and you’ve once again hit a spot deep within her. She likes chocolate pastries a lot and the first thing you’ve offered her is a chocolate pastry. It is once again like she’s making all these choices instead of you offering her those choices; and this is what makes her even more comfortable. Once again, you don’t know that you’ve done anything to please her so far; as all this is being done by your subconscious mind. You may not even like chocolate pastries a lot and you just offered them as a random choice as your conscious mind may have told you that girls usually like things having chocolate as an ingredient and a chocolate pastry randomly occurred to you.

In reality; you subconsciously know this fact that she likes things like chocolate pastries and you also noticed subconsciously that the café has chocolate pastries featured in the showcase; when you entered the café and approached the table. Have you ever heard that most of the communication between two people is non-verbal and this part is more important than the verbal communication? Now you know how these non-verbal communications happen and why they are more important than verbal communications.

Verbal communications are controlled by your conscious mind which has far less information compared to your subconscious mind which controls most non verbal communications; like in this case. You haven’t done much so far according to your conscious mind but you’ve still touched this girl more deeply than someone else may have touched even in ten dates. She also doesn’t know the conscious reasons for all these things. Hence all she feels is a strong feeling of comfort in your company and a feeling of comfort is the best type of feeling in most situations.

More comfortable you feel in someone’s company; more time you want to spend in his or her company whereas more discomfort in someone’s company means you want to spend less time in his or her company or you simply want to avoid his or her company. Since the comfort factor is strong; she may already like your company and this date is almost destined to give birth to a meaningful relationship which may last for many years or which may continue till the end of your life. Over the course of this date; a number of other such things may happen when you may touch her deeply without any conscious effort and she may also do the same without any conscious effort.

 

Himanshu Shangari

 

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This is because habits are not much dependant on circumstances outside and they’re dependent on preferences stored related to them; deep inside you; on your subconscious mind. Hence if you have built a breathing pattern of taking short and fast breaths whether or not you know when you formed this pattern; this pattern will continue to be effective until you put in significant conscious effort to change it. Suppose you suffer from a particular health issue; you visit a doctor and he tells you that your breathing pattern is the cause of this health issue. Hence he may suggest you to change your breathing pattern in a way that you may take long breaths.

Just because you know that your present breathing pattern is causing problems; just because you start disliking this breathing pattern and just because you already know the correct type of breathing pattern; you’re not going to get rid of your present breathing pattern and you’re not going to get the new breathing pattern; merely on the basis of this information or even desire. Your present breathing pattern was formed after a long history of conscious effort of a specific type and you may need similar type of effort to change your breathing pattern.

Hence you may start doing so on conscious level; you may have to monitor the way you breathe and you may have to try hard to change this pattern to the one you want; for one month; two months or even for a much longer period of time. Since it is a big task; you may or may not succeed; depending on the strength of your conscious mind versus that of your subconscious mind. It should be noted that your present breathing pattern is being controlled by your subconscious mind and the new breathing pattern will be established by your conscious mind; if you succeed in doing so.

Therefore, when you’re trying to impose a new breathing pattern on the already existing breathing pattern; your conscious mind and subconscious mind are in conflict. For years or even for lives; your subconscious mind has been implementing the same breathing pattern and any effort to change this breathing pattern is seen as an invasion by it. Hence it’ll try its best to maintain this breathing pattern and it will put as much resistance to the objective of your conscious mind; as much it can.

Yes, breathing patterns can also come from past lives and in fact; most people may keep having the same or similar breathing patterns for a number of lives; unless they change them consciously for any reasons; in one of their lives. Once a new breathing pattern is formed; it continues to be effective unless another series of conscious efforts is practiced to change it. Most things related to us keep behaving or existing in the same manner through our subconscious minds; unless an external effort which means conscious effort to change some of these things is practiced.

It is like the law of motion which says that every body continues to be in its state of rest or motion; unless an external force is applied to change such state. Acting on the same rule; everything being handled by your subconscious mind keeps happening in the same or similar way; unless conscious effort is applied to change it. Since most of the jobs in our existence are handled by the subconscious mind; most things keep exhibiting in their already established patterns; unless these patterns are changed consciously.

Hence when you try to change your breathing pattern or any other habit for that matter; your conscious mind is in conflict with your subconscious mind which puts resistance to change. This is because your subconscious mind works on the basis of rules or conditions and it is never comfortable to work with rules or conditions which keep changing.

Just imagine what may happen if the laws of your country are changed every month or every week? The common people as well as the law executing agencies may find it very difficult to get accustomed to the frequently changing laws and the system may collapse as a result. This is why it is not considered wise to change laws or rules of any type on frequent basis; so that a predictable order may be maintained.

The same happens in case of your personality; and your subconscious mind opposes changes of any type, so that it may continue to work in its present state of handling certain things in question. Hence it resists the efforts of your conscious mind to change anything, simply in order to form some type of predictable harmony as otherwise, your overall existence may suffer much more than it may benefit. Just imagine that your subconscious mind doesn’t put any resistance to your conscious efforts and you’re able to make any changes to your personality; whenever you want them.

It means if you want; you may become lazy one moment; you may become hard-working the next moment and you may become lazy once again; the very next moment. Similarly; you may choose to become brave one moment and coward next moment; you may choose to become kind one moment and you may choose to become cruel next moment; you may choose to get attached to someone one moment and you may choose to get detached the next moment; you may choose to love one moment and you may choose to hate the next moment; and you may be able to do a number of other such things of the opposite types.

If you’re able to do this; not only the harmony within your existence may get disturbed; collective harmony may also get disturbed. This is because if you love someone one moment and you get married to her at that moment; you hate her the very next moment and you want a divorce; you love her at another moment and you want to get married to her again and then you hate her again; only chaos is going to prevail. Likewise, if you become brave one moment, you run away the next moment and you come back the moment after that and so on; it is once again going to end up causing confusion or chaos.

In order to avoid all such things; your subconscious mind registers each and everything as a pattern and it may take long or very long to register this pattern; depending on a number of factors. When one such pattern is formed; your subconscious mind may do its best to protect this pattern and hence it may offer resistance to any changes which your conscious mind may want to make to this pattern. This practice of your subconscious mind ascertains a basic level of harmony in your existence; so that things may operate smoothly.

Imagine you’re a very good as well as a kind person. This habit of being good and kind has been formed on your subconscious mind as a result of significant conscious effort produced by you; through a series of acts of kindness and goodness. Hence your subconscious mind tries its best to protect this habit so that something of the opposite type may not happen every now and then.

Suppose someone hits your car with his car, an argument takes place and it heats up to the point where you may even think of engaging in physical violence; on conscious level. If your subconscious mind is unable to resist this conscious desire of yours at this moment; you may even end up killing this guy or injuring him seriously as you may at once change your habit of being kind to the habit of being cruel.

Since you can become cruel in a moment and it means cruel in the deepest sense; you may kill this person as well as many other people during your life time; though you’re a kind and good person. Doesn’t that sound strange that you’re a kind and good person but you keep killing people? This is why your subconscious mind resists any changes that your conscious mind may want to make, related to certain habits of yours.

A big difference between the working of your conscious mind and that of your subconscious mind is that your conscious mind operates on the basis of individual events in most cases whereas your subconscious mind operates on the basis of thousands of events of the similar type. This is why you may need thousands of acts of a type to create a habit and you may need similar number of acts to change such habit. Hence your conscious mind is more like ‘in the moment’ whereas your subconscious is operating more on the basis of preferences which form your personality or nature.

Therefore, when you have an argument with this guy and you get enraged; your subconscious mind starts opposing you strongly because what you’re trying to do at this time is not in accordance with your habit of being kind or good. In fact, you’re trying to engage in an act of cruelty which is the opposite of kindness. As a result; you start hearing a number of voices from inside and these voices try to stop you from engaging in a fight or even from prolonging the argument. If these voices are not sufficient on their own to stop you from engaging in violence; your subconscious mind has many other tricks.

Your subconscious mind may distract you or distort your focus away from this person and it may do so in a number of natural ways. For instance, it may bring your attention to the fact that a number of people are trying to mediate and you should at least listen to them. As you tend to listen to them; your focus is distracted and you may not be able to have the same amount of anger; once you’re done listening to them. One of these persons may suggest you that you should better inform the police instead of messing with this guy on your own; and your subconscious mind may strongly support this advice.

Before you know, it may convince you to either settle the matter peacefully or let the police handle this matter; whatever may be the best possible option according to the situation. However, whichever option you choose to go with; you’ve avoided engaging in a physical fight; or so to say; your subconscious mind has succeeded in keeping you away from this physical fight. When you look at this incident after a day or even after a couple of hours; you may thank those people in your mind; as they stopped you from engaging in an act of violence; which you absolutely hate deep down.

In reality; it is your subconscious mind which did this trick. A number of people may also be there to stop you from engaging in a fight; if you’re a violent or cruel type of person. However when that happens; your subconscious mind will almost never let you pay attention to these people and it will motivate you to focus on the act of violence. You may engage in violence and you may never realize that a number of people tried to stop you from doing so.

This happens because of the same rule. In the first case; your subconscious mind is trying to protect your habit of being kind and hence it makes you listen to the people who’re advising you against physical fight. In the second case; your subconscious mind is trying to protect your habit of being violent or cruel and hence it keeps you away from paying any attention to the people who’re advising you against violence. Since these people are doing the same job in both these cases but the outcomes are the opposite in nature; it means there’s more to this equation than these people.

It is your subconscious mind which is distracting you away from violence in the first case and it is your subconscious mind which is focusing you on violence and away from the people advising you to avoid violence, in the second case. Hence you only choose to listen to the others when you really want to do so, which means your subconscious mind wants to do so; though you may not know it consciously.

Once again we come to the same and the most important fact that Heaven and Hell are both within you and they’re not outside. Though the circumstances outside as well as the situations outside may be exactly the same for two people; one of them may receive heaven through one such situation and the other one may receive hell through the very same situation; depending on their mindsets.

For instance, if you don’t like rain and it starts raining suddenly when you’re outside; you may start feeling like hell. However, another person near you is enjoying this rain like it brings heaven to him; since he may like it a lot. So how can we define whether rain in this case brings heaven or hell as it brings hell for you and heaven for another person?

It means that rain neither brings heaven nor hell to you; and it is your interpretation which brings such heaven or hell to you. If you interpret rain as hell, based on your mindset which is further based on your overall personality; rain means hell in this case. On the other hand, if you interpret rain as heaven; based on your mindset which is further dependant on your overall personality; rain means heaven in this case.

You see, rain is rain and it is neither heaven nor hell. It is your interpretation which attaches heaven or hell to it. The same happens in case of all other things, situations and people. It means none of them brings heaven or hell to you in reality; and only your interpretations related to them bring such heaven or hell.

Taking another example; your girlfriend gets married to someone else against her wish under pressure from her parents; and you’re upset like hell. You start cursing her parents and you may even curse your girlfriend. Her marriage fails in six months primarily due to her strong attachment to you. If you’re still so much into her; this divorce appears like heaven to you. Her parents realize their mistake; they meet you and they express their wish of getting their daughter married to you. This news comes as heaven to you and her parents look like the angels of heaven to you.

You get married to this girl and suppose problems start surfacing after some time; as they usually do in a number of marriages. It takes two or three years for you to make up your mind that this marriage is hell; and you want to get out of this marriage though the girl may want to continue with marriage. Once again, her parents approach you and they request you not to break this marriage and give it another try; and this advice seems like hell to you. You get divorced against their advice and this divorce looks like heaven to you.

Considering another option when they advise you to stick to your marriage, suppose you consider their request and you give another chance to your marriage. This chance works out and five years after that; you have a happy family with this girl as well as with a couple of kids. Whenever her parents visit; they bring heaven to you because they convinced you to give more time and effort to this marriage and their advice proved good.

Let’s analyze these heavens and hells witnessed by you at different times; related to same people or same situations. When her parents got her married to someone else; they looked like devils. When they got her married to you; they looked like angels. When they asked you to continue your marriage though you didn’t want to; they once again looked like devils to you. However, if you continued this marriage and it worked out well in the long run; they once again started looking like angels to you.

Talking about the girl, she looked very good to you when you two were in love; she looked bad to you when she got married to someone else; she again looked good when she got divorced and she married you. Moving on, she again started looking bad to you once your marriage suffered and if you chose to continue the marriage; she started looking good once again.

So how will you define good and bad in this case? I mean what is the real criterion for deciding good or bad in this case? The most prevalent answer is that the circumstances, situations, things and people outside are what bring heaven or hell to you. Is it truly so in reality? Kindly pay attention that this girl may have been more or less the same throughout this entire episode but she brought heaven to you at times and she brought hell to you at times. Her parents may also have remained the same; but they also brought heaven to you at times and they brought hell to you at other times.

Looking at certain things or situation; when her marriage with someone else happened; this marriage brought hell to you but when her marriage happened with you; it brought heaven to you. When her marriage with someone else suffered, it brought heaven to you but when the same happened in case of your marriage; it brought hell to you. Since neither the people involved in this equation, which means this girl and her parents nor the situations or things involved in this equation, which means concepts like marriage and disturbance in marriage may have changed much or they may not have changed at all; they can’t be held responsible in the deepest sense.

That leaves you and you alone and this is where the problem lies. When you look deeper, you’ll find that whenever something or someone behaved as you wished, that thing or person brought heaven to you whereas whenever something or someone behaved against your wish; that thing or person brought hell to you. It means the root cause of your all the good as well bad happening to you or all the heavens and hells which come your way; lies deep within you and this root cause is called the desire element.

Going even deeper; almost every type of desire is created by your ego; as long as the primary objective of such desire is to bring some type of benefit to you; even if it is the most subtle and difficult to detect type of benefit. This further means that the root cause of most of your problems is your ego which keeps creating desires and which imposes conditions that these desires must be fulfilled.

Whenever some of these desires are fulfilled as the outside variables may be favorable for their fulfillment; heaven comes to you. On the other hand, whenever some of these desires are not fulfilled as the outside variables may go against their fulfillment; hell comes to you. Hence it is not outside variables which bring heaven or hell to you and it is your very own and personal ego; which brings heaven and hell to you.

For instance, why is it so that when this girl gets married to someone else; this marriage brings hell to you and when she gets married to you, this marriage looks heaven to you. I mean if the word called marriage or the concept of marriage in general is responsible for creating these effects; they should be the same in both these cases. If marriage is a bad thing in general; you should have faced hell when this girl agreed to get married to you. If marriage is a good thing in general; you should have felt good when she got married to someone else. Though the girl is getting married in both these cases but the impact of these marriages is felt in the opposite ways by you. Why is it so?

The answer is that in the first case, she gets married against your wish and you consider it a loss whereas in the second case, she marries in accordance with your wish and you consider it profit. So it means that all your love for this girl is a game of profit and loss in reality. If she acts according to your wish; you see profit in it and if she acts against your wish; you see loss in it. Looking at the concept of disturbance which happened in both her marriages; the disturbance in her first marriage made you happy whereas the disturbance in her second marriage made you sad.

If the concept of disturbance in marriage is bad in general; why did you feel happy when her marriage with someone else got disturbed? If this concept is good in general; why did you feel sad when the same disturbance happened in your marriage? The answer once again comes through your ego. She got married to someone else against your wish and this is why the disturbance in her marriage made you happy as you see three major benefits in it. The first benefit is that this disturbance is your way of assuring yourself that you were a better or much better option as a husband for her.

The second benefit is that if this disturbance results in a broken marriage, you have a chance to get this girl. The third benefit is that her parents may realize after her broken marriage that they made a mistake by not getting her married to you and even this girl may do so. You see, it is never about this girl or anyone else during this entire episode and it is only about you and you alone; all the time. Your lover’s marriage gets disturbed and you feel happy; her marriage fails and you feel even happier. Can this be called love? Do you really care about her happiness at all?

You certainly don’t care about anything or anyone but you; though you may not know it consciously and all this may be happening deep within you, at the level of your subconscious mind. It means that on conscious level; you may feel that you really want her to be happy and the way you see her happy is when she’s with you. Hence when her first marriage fails; you may consciously think you feel happy because now she can marry you and that will help her become happy.

If it really is the case; then why didn’t you wish her the same happiness through her first marriage? I mean why didn’t you feel bad when her first marriage was suffering and why didn’t you pray for it to work out well or why didn’t you try to do something to help her out with that marriage? This is because deep down; you didn’t want her to be happy in general; and you wanted her to be happy in your company. It means her happiness pleases you only if such happiness happens in your company and not otherwise. You see, your ego is fooling you under the guise of love and all you want in reality is to fulfill your desire.

However, this is not all and there’s more. When she gets married to you and after a couple of years; you start feeling unhappy in her company; why do you want to get out of this marriage? It means instead of choosing to end this marriage; why don’t you forget your happiness and why don’t you try your best to make her happy, since you think you love her a lot and all you care for is her happiness? Your ego may give you an excuse that no matter how hard you may try; you may never be able to make her happy and that is why you should move out of this marriage so that she may find happiness somewhere else.

However, this is only an excuse and nothing more than that. The real reason is that your desire of getting married to her has been fulfilled; you’ve tried to control her or change her the way you wanted but you failed. This failure irritates your ego as it hates nothing more than a failure. Hence the first thing you want now is to get out of this marriage since it is not working out according to your expectations. It may also be the case that the girl may be trying to control you more than you may be trying to control her and that is why you want to move out of this marriage.

Even if that is the case, the girl has not changed overnight. You’ve had a love affair with her and you know her well; even before marrying her. If you chose to get married to her even when her first marriage failed; there must be some very good things about her, which convinced you to get married to her, even though she had hurt you by getting married to someone else. Can it not be possible that you simply wanted to get married to this girl no matter what; as your ego encouraged you to fulfill your pending desire?

Kindly understand that when this girl and her parents ask you to marry her after her first marriage which failed; this joy is much bigger for your ego; compared to the joy it may have felt if her first marriage happened with you, instead of happening with someone else. This is because in that case; only the joy of your wish getting fulfilled is there for you ego. However in this case; the joy of getting married to her is accompanied by an even bigger joy and this joy comes through the shaming of this girl as well as her parents because their decision to reject you as husband for her proved wrong and they’ve come back to you, to accept their mistake. Hence this girl is not coming alone and a big victory is also coming with her.

As all this happens at the level of your subconscious mind; you may not be aware about it and all you may think is that you did the best things in each situation but you faced problems through many of those situations. If you really love this girl and there is no ego involved; you’ll want her to be happy at every stage; and you won’t look at your profits or losses; even on subconscious level.

Coming back to the point, heaven or hell doesn’t lie in things, situations or people and it lies in your interpretation of them. For instance, there were times in the beginning of human race when metals like gold or gems like diamonds were not assigned high values. Since these things otherwise don’t have any utility; people might have found them waste.

 

Himanshu Shangari

 

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An interesting thing is that you may start noticing positive habits of this girl much faster than you do in case of other girls, which may help you like this girl even more at the earliest. It should be noted that these habits of her are her genuine habits and they’re not likely to be artificial ones; which means she may not be pretending to have certain good habits in order to impress you and she may simply be behaving in the most natural way. She may also notice or observe similar things about you and hence you two may build a relationship at a fast or very fast pace.

Though on the conscious level, you may feel that all this is happening coincidently but this is not so in reality. It is your subconscious mind which is interacting with her subconscious mind and these two are trying to resume the relationship which is already there. Since you or this girl don’t have any conscious knowledge about this relationship as well as about the things that your subconscious minds are doing to get you two together; it all seems to happen magically. Let’s now get to the bottom of this magic and see what is happening deep down; at the level of the subconscious mind.

Since your subconscious mind has significant amount of data related to her from past lives; it knows about most of her positive as well as negative habits and even about her preferences about food, clothes, perfumes and a number of other such things. It has already been explained that all habits and preferences are stored on your subconscious mind and hence they travel with you in each one of your lives. Hence habits or preferences once formed stay with you throughout the journey of your soul; until you consciously choose to move away from some of them.

For instance, if you start liking apples a lot in one of your lives; this preference is stored on your subconscious mind and accordingly; you may keep liking apples in all your coming lives until you change this preference with conscious effort. Looking at one such possibility; suppose in one of your lives; you get allergic to something that an apple contains like the iron in it; you suffer a lot because of it, you discover that all this is happening because of apples and you consciously choose to move away from apples.

We’ll discuss two options in this case. If your overall personality is such that you stop eating apples in order to avoid discomfort but you continue liking apples; your liking for apples may continue and it may remain the same or it may become even stronger in your next life. This is because if you keep wishing for something but you can’t have it, this wish keeps getting stronger. Since you like apples but you can’t have them; the desire for apples becomes stronger and hence you may have a lot of apples in your next life.

On the other hand, if your overall personality is such that you stop eating apples due to physical discomfort caused by them and at the same time; you stop liking them or you even start disliking them as they trouble you whenever you try them; you’ve changed this preference consciously. It means you may not like apples even in your next life and even if you try them in your next life; you may start having a feeling of discomfort though this feeling may not have any valid reasons in that life.

This is due to the reason that you’ve attached discomfort to apples in this life and whenever you eat apples; you start feeling discomfort. This feeling of discomfort is valid for this life as you’re only feeling what is happening in reality. It means you actually go through discomfort when you eat apples. Hence this feeling of discomfort has valid reasons and this is not an illusionary feeling.

When it comes to your next life, your physical body may be perfectly capable of handling apples and you may not suffer at all, if you have apples. However, as you have attached a strong feeling of discomfort with apples in your present life and you’ve repeated this act again and again; your subconscious mind stores this information and it marks this information important. As a result, whenever you try to eat an apple in your next life; you may find yourself suffering from discomfort and you may not be able to eat it.

You may not know the reason for this feeling of discomfort but it is there and that is what makes you stay away from apples. In your present life; this feeling of discomfort is caused by actual discomfort which happens when you eat apples and hence it is a valid feeling. However, when it comes to your next life; there is no actual discomfort and this feeling of discomfort is illusionary since it is coming from the past. It means apples are bad for you in your present life but they are not bad for you in your next life. Hence the feeling of discomfort while eating apples is real for this life whereas it is illusionary for next life.

This brings us to an important point that though your subconscious mind is very powerful on the basis of information it has from a number of your past lives; all such information is provided by your conscious mind only. Hence all your habits, preferences, comforts or discomforts are stored on your subconscious mind but they are not initiated by your subconscious mind and this job is done by your conscious mind.

A significant difference between your conscious mind and subconscious mind is that your conscious mind has the ability to act or take decisions when you witness something for the first time or when you want to change the way you like or dislike something, which means when you want to change a habit or preference. On the other hand, your subconscious mind doesn’t have these abilities and it works on the basis of the data which has already been stored on it. Hence it can’t help you form a habit and it can’t help you take a decision in situations which you’re facing for the first time; since it has no data related to those situations.

Therefore, when it comes to collect data about things or people and when it comes to form preferences; your conscious mind is the one that does all this. However, when it comes to act on the basis of those preferences or when it comes to continue doing certain things; your subconscious mind may take control in order to reduce your conscious effort. Hence your subconscious mind can’t record data on its own and it can’t form habits or preferences on its own; and this job is done by your conscious mind. However, your subconscious mind can certainly help you maintain those habits and do a number of things for you, on the basis of the information that it already has.

You can consider your subconscious mind as a computer program and you can consider your conscious mind as the developer of that program. It is the job of the developer to feed data and preferences in the program, which means he needs to introduce such information and features in the program, which he wishes to use in future. Looking at the other end, it is the job of this program to operate on the basis of the already registered data as well as preferences and reduce the effort of the developer.

For instance, if this program deals with geographical regions, their locations and other such things related to them; this program can offer only as much information as is fed into it by the developer and nothing more than that. Hence if it contains information about one thousand geographical locations; it may present any part of such information at the click of a button. However, when it comes to a geographical location which is other than these thousand locations; this program is helpless and the developer has to do this job on his own.

The only way he can get help related to this geographical location in future through this program; is to find such information by himself and then feed such information into this program, just like he did in case of all those thousand geographical locations; which are already stored in this program. This way, the developer can only get information related to that geographical region; which he collected by himself at a time and he then fed such information into this program. Hence the information related to any geographical region has to be obtained by the developer without the help of this program, he may then feed such information into this program and from the next time onward; this program may do this job for him.

Looking at the utility of this program; though it can’t create information or preferences on its own; it can certainly reduce the conscious effort of this developer to a great extent. This is because the developer only has to collect a piece of information once and then feed such information into this program and the latter takes care of everything related to this piece of information after that. Summing it up; the program can’t know more than the developer at any point in time since all the information has initially been collected and forwarded to it by the developer. However, the program can reduce the effort of this developer to great extent as it is much faster than the developer.

Similarly, your conscious mind collects information related to things and it stores such information on your subconscious mind. This information may constitute knowledge, preferences, habits and other such things which form the basis of your personality. Your subconscious mind can neither create this information on its own; nor it can modify this information on its own; and these jobs are done by your conscious mind. Hence your subconscious mind can’t form a habit or a preference and it even can’t modify it, as these jobs are done by your conscious mind.

Comparing it to the computer program; suppose the developer has fed information related to a geographical region about five years back, into this program. Suppose a part of this information has changed during these five years and the developer either doesn’t know about it or he didn’t update this information in the program. In this case, the information offered by the program and the actual information may be different as the program can’t update this information on its own and this job has to be done by the developer. As long as this information is not updated, the program may keep reflecting the previously correct but now incorrect or incomplete information.

This way, the developer and the program have a deep connection with each other and they depend on each other for certain things. The programs depends on the developer, in order to stay updated or in order to receive more and more information whereas the developer depends on the program for doing a number of jobs related to such information at a fast or very fast pace; compared to his own speed of doing such jobs. Likewise, the subconscious mind depends on the conscious mind to receive more or updated information related to a number of things so that it may do its job more efficiently whereas the conscious mind depends on the subconscious mind to do all the repetitive jobs so that the effort of the conscious mind may be reduced significantly.

If the developer dies; the software can’t update itself on its own and it has to wait for the next developer to come and update the information that it has. Similarly, when a person dies; the conscious mind dies and the subconscious mind leaves the body and it goes with the soul. Hence the subconscious mind needs another conscious mind in order to receive more information or in order to update the already registered information. A new conscious mind becomes available with a new birth and this conscious mind serves as a new developer for the same computer program. This keeps happening and one developer after another keeps connecting to this program.

All these developers keep feeding new information into this program or they keep updating some of the already existing information. At the same time; they keep benefitting through this program; by means of information fed or updated by them; as well as by means of the information stored on this program; by the developers who attended to this program before them.

Hence in the deepest sense; the information contained by this program at any point in time is the sum total of the information fed into it; by all the developers who attended to this program till that time. It means if a thousand developers have fed or updated information into this program till a point in time; this program contains information obtained by all these thousand developers; assuming all of them registered every piece of information they came across; with this program.

In the same way, the information as well as the ability of your subconscious mind at any point in time is the sum total of the information or ability of all the conscious minds that you’ve had in all your lives since all of them fed information on this very same subconscious mind. In easy language, your subconscious mind has information related to all your past lives so far; and it can help you out on the basis of that information. Just like a program may not know something which has not been fed into it by the developer; your subconscious mind may not have information related to things, people or situations; which have never been dealt with by any one of your conscious minds.

Looking at another angle; just like the developer number 1000 may know much less than the program as the program is the sum total of the knowledge of 1000 developers including the developer in question; your conscious mind may know much less than your subconscious mind since your subconscious mind at any time is the sum total of all your conscious minds so far, which may be thousands of them, including your conscious mind for present life.

Accordingly, the conscious knowledge of developer number 1000 is what he possesses and the rest comes as help from the program. Similarly, the conscious knowledge of your conscious mind at any point in time in any one of your lives is what you’ve gained through it in that life till that point in time; and the rest comes from your subconscious mind as help.

Taking an example, if you’re asked to have one of the two drinks where one of them tastes very good and another one tastes very bad; and no one tells you which one tastes good or bad, here is what may happen. Assuming you want to have the drink which tastes good; this objective can be reached in two ways. The first way is that you’ve already had one or both of these drinks once or more than once in this life. It means you have conscious knowledge about which one of them tastes good or bad; and hence it is easy for you to choose the drink which tastes good. This choice has been made by your conscious mind, based on the information it collected earlier in this life.

Looking at the second way; suppose you’ve never had or even seen any one of these drinks in this life and hence you don’t have conscious knowledge about any one of them. It means you have to take a random guess or try your luck; supposing that having one of them is compulsory. Though you may think of taking a random chance, it may turn out to be more than a random chance. In this case, this job can once again be done by your conscious mind or it can be done by your subconscious mind and this is how.

If you’ve never had any one of these drinks even in any one of your past lives; your subconscious mind doesn’t have any information related to anyone of these drinks and hence it can’t help you out. Therefore, this job has to be done by your conscious mind alone and you have to make a random guess in the deepest sense. It means neither your conscious mind nor your subconscious mind knows anything about these drinks and hence you can only try your luck.

On the other hand, if you’ve had one or both of these drinks; many times in your past lives, say in your recent past life; your random guess may not be so random in this case. This is because your conscious mind still doesn’t have any information related to these drinks but your subconscious mind does have this information. As a result, your subconscious mind may help you out and it may tell you which one of these drinks tastes good or bad. However, as your subconscious mind is hidden and so are its messages that reach your conscious mind; here is how this messages may work.

On the conscious level; you’re blank and you have no clue about any one of these drinks. However, you may feel that a kind of intuition is coming to you from inside, which means a voice is coming from inside and this voice is telling you to try a particular drink. This voice tells you that this particular drink is the good one and hence you should try it. Since this voice is the result of the decision of your subconscious mind; you can’t actively understand the reason or logic behind the choice made by this voice; since active reasoning is the job of your conscious mind which knows nothing about all this.

Hence you may subconsciously feel motivated to try a particular drink but you may not know why this feeling or voice is coming to you. If you’re an emotional type, you may simply go ahead and try that drink which turns out good as the voice says. However, if you’re an intellectual type; you may get confused because in this case; you may get interested in why this voice is coming to you from inside; more than you’re interested in choosing the drink that tastes good. This is because the intellect almost always wants to know the reasons first; and it believes in acting only when it is duly convinced by such reasons, whatever they may be; depending on a particular situation.

Since there is only a voice and there are no obvious reasons attached to this voice; your intellect may suggest you to go against this voice. This is because it is the natural job of your intellect to doubt anything which has no reasons or which doesn’t explain itself properly. Since this voice is not explaining itself on conscious level; your intellect may guide you against this voice. If you listen to your intellect and you try to choose the drink which is other than the one suggested by your subconscious mind; you may feel that the voice is getting louder, it is repeating itself more often and it is trying to stop you from trying the drink suggested by your intellect.

As you may understand; your subconscious mind knows for sure that the drink suggested by your intellect tastes bad and hence it is warning you again and again to choose the other drink. This is just like when you try to build a project in the already discussed program and you try to feed an incorrect value for a particular geographical region; the program may start warning you that this value is incorrect and it should be corrected. Though you may choose to manually override the suggestion of this program as you may have incorporated that feature in this program; it may not be a wise decision as the program is suggesting so on the basis of information that it already has. Hence the advice of this program is likely to be a genuine one and it should be paid attention to.

Likewise, your subconscious mind may start making you uncomfortable if you still try to choose the drink suggested by your intellect and if you don’t listen to the former. As a result; subconscious reactions like feelings of fear on small scale, trembling of body and hand in particular and other such signs may start appearing. These are the ways through which your subconscious mind is trying to tell you that you’re going to do something wrong. Since your subconscious mind already knows you’re going to select the wrong drink; it starts giving you fear.

Suppose you finally decide to act upon the advice of your subconscious mind and you choose the drink suggested by it at the last moment. As the voice says; this drink tastes good and though you as well as other people present at this scene may think that you took a random chance and that chance paid out for you; it is not a random chance in reality. You already knew which drink tastes good and the only reason you think it is a random chance; is because this knowledge is subconscious and hence you can’t actively know the source of this knowledge. It means you may at the most feel that an intuition or an inner voice guided you and nothing more than that.

In reality; your subconscious mind has all the reasons to suggest you this drink; just like your conscious mind has them; in the first case. It means when your conscious mind suggests you to choose one particular drink in case of first option; you actively know that the reason it is doing so is because you’ve already had this drink earlier in this life. Hence the advice of your conscious mind is duly supported by relevant information. Similarly, the advice of your subconscious mind is also duly supported by relevant information and the only catch is that you don’t know this fact. Hence all you may feel is that an intuition guided you and a random chance clicked for you by means of this intuition.

Therefore, your subconscious mind may have a lot of information related to the girl you’re interacting with and it may also have information about a number of her preferences. It should be noted that some of these preferences may have changed between the time of your last interaction with this girl in any one of your lives and the present time. It means if you had a relationship with this girl in your recent past life and your subconscious mind has a record of her preferences from that life; most of those preferences or habits may remain the same though some of them may have changed.

As already explained, you need conscious effort to form a habit as well as to modify it or to get rid of it. This concept has been explained in details in the first part of this book. In general, most people don’t tend to change most of their habits or preferences; primarily due to two reasons. The first and the most common reason is that they may be comfortable with these habits or preferences and hence they may not want to change them. Since the desire to change a habit or preference is not there; such habit or preference is not going to change.

Looking at the second reason, even if you want to change one of your preferences or habits; you may not be able to do so. This is because a significant amount of conscious effort is required to change such habit or preference and this effort varies in case of different habits or preferences; depending on how strongly they’ve been formed till the time you want to change them. In general, preferences take less effort to change whereas habits take more or much more effort. Some habits may be so strong that you may find it very difficult to get rid of them; even if you try very hard to change them.

Looking at a couple of examples, you may find that staying away from apples is relatively easy than getting rid of laziness. This is because liking apple is a preference whereas laziness is a habit. The basic difference between a habit and a preference for the context of this topic is that a preference is a luxury whereas a habit becomes a necessity. It means if needed, you can afford to stay away from luxury but you can’t do the same to necessity.

Taking a look at this from a different angle; a preference is circumstantial whereas a habit is natural. It means you can stay away from apples for a very long period of time even if you like them; and you may not even remember them much; until you see them or you come across them. However, the habit of laziness is like your breath or like the flow of your blood which happens naturally and which keeps happening all the time; even without your conscious knowledge. Hence if you like apples; the urge for them may get stronger only when you see them, in most cases.

It means that circumstances have to be in favor of this preference and only then you may engage in this preference. For instance, you like apples a lot and you move to a country for professional reasons; which doesn’t have apples; let’s suppose so. Though you may miss apples at times; you’re not going to miss them all the time and you may even realize that the urge for apples is reducing with the passage of time. This is because this preference is circumstantial and when the circumstances don’t support it; it may fade away with the passage of time.

On the other hand, laziness is a habit and if you have it; it is incorporated in your personality; just like your breathing pattern has been incorporated into your body. Once you form a particular type of breathing pattern; it keeps happening automatically and you don’t even have to be aware about it. Hence it may not go away or fade away on its own or according to the circumstances and you need significant conscious effort in order to change your breathing pattern. Even if you go to another country for professional reasons; the circumstantial preference of apples may fade away due to the circumstances in that country but your breathing pattern or laziness may remain completely unaffected.

 

Himanshu Shangari

 

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However, when you find that despite your best efforts, you’re unable to change those specific habits of hers, you shift the blame to her and this is what makes you a hypocrite. She never promised to change any of these habits and to start with, she didn’t even know you have such intentions. All these plots were made by our ego and you were playing this game from your end only. This is why there is no pure love as you’re making assumptions in your own mind, you’re trying to make them come true and if they don’t; you get hurt. You see, you’re all alone in it and the girl is nowhere in the picture. Hence it is an act of control and not an act of love.

Just like you want your car to run at a specific speed, just like you want your house to be painted in a particular color, just like you want your watch to belong to a particular shape, you want this girl to be of a particular type. Hence you’re in need of a particular type of personality which goes well with your ego and you’re not in search of true love. This is because only your opinion matters when it comes to make your car run at a particular speed and the car doesn’t have any choice of her own, only your opinion matters when it comes to paint the walls of your house in a particular color and the walls don’t have the luxury to say no to that color; and only your opinion matters if you want to have a square looking watch and a circular watch can’t belong to you against your wish.

Since you’re the only decision maker in all these cases, you’re not in love with these things though you may think so at times, and you’re in control of all these things. It means they must behave like you want them to behave all the time and they don’t have any choices of their own. In other words, all these things are at your disposal and so to say, they’re your slaves and they’ll serve you as you please, until they die.

You’re doing similar things to this girl but you think you’re in love. You’re trying to change a particular habit of hers just like you change the color of a wall when you don’t like it. Neither the choice of the wall nor the choice of this girl matters for you and you only want to get done what pleases your ego. This girl is nothing more than a wall to you and you want it to have whichever color you like at any particular time. Hence it is an act of control and not pure love. Throughout this relationship, you try to play this game alone like you do in case of car, wall, watch and many other things and this is what makes it an act of control.

If you love her truly, you won’t force her to change though you may tell her to change some of her habits if you see benefit in it for her. However, your love for her won’t change whether or not she acts upon your advices and changes those habits. The first sign of pure love is that you’ll give your lover complete freedom to be whatever she wants to be and you’ll then love her for whatever she is and even whatever she may become over the course of time.

It means even if she develops a number of negative habits over a period of time, you’ll still love her the same way, though you may dislike those habits of hers. In the first case, you fall in love with her habits and she as a person become secondary. However in this case, you fall in love with her and her habits become secondary, which means your love for her remains unaffected by her good or bad habits. Hence if you truly love a person, you won’t try to control them or change them by force; and you’ll accept them for whatever they are.

A question may rise here that if this is the definition of true love, it means most people don’t fall in love and they engage in trades. Does it mean that all of us are incapable of loving and all we do is trade? No, it doesn’t mean anything like this and there’s more to this concept. So far, we’ve only discussed two extremes of this equation, which are the act of pure love and the act of control to feed the ego. However, most people have percentages of both these variables and they’re not isolate types which are rare to find.

It means it is difficult to find people who have love as pure as 100% and it is equally difficult to find people who have control factor has high as 100%. Most people are mixtures of these two qualities and accordingly they may be different from each other when it comes to how capable they may be of engaging in pure love, depending on the percentage of these two factors in their personalities. For instance, a person having 80% love factor and 20% control factor may be capable of loving much more than a person having 20% love factor and 80% control factor.

Human personality is a very complex mixture of a number of good and bad qualities and all these qualities may be present in different combinations in different people. This is what makes each one of us unique and none of us may exactly match anyone else. Hence different people may love differently and they may also control differently.

If you’re thinking how can you engage in love and control in the same relationship, here are some acts which can help you find it out. All the things that you do for your loved ones in a way that they may benefit, they may notice and other people may also notice, may be the acts of control. On the other hand, all the things that you do for your loved ones and you don’t care even if they know about them or not, let alone other people, they’re undoubtedly the acts of pure love.

For instance, if you’re taking your lover on an expensive vacation and you’re paying for it, you may be doing it both ways, depending on your personality type. If your intention is to make her happy as you know she likes this vacation destination; and you don’t care about anything else, it is an act of pure love. In this case, you’re not likely to tell anyone; who paid for the vacation or who made all the arrangements and even if your lover tells someone about it, you may not take much interest when that person praises you for spending so much money on this vacation.

On the contrary, you may start feeling uncomfortable when someone or even when your girlfriend appreciates you for doing all this for her. This is because your love is pure in this case and all you care for is her happiness. Since you have no intentions to control her in future, you don’t have the need to count favors so that you may use them to your advantage in future.

Hence you may keep those details of this vacation hidden, which can make you look like a great person, which is the mark of true love. You may do so as you don’t want other people to know that she had no financial contribution in this vacation as that can give some people reasons to raise their fingers on her, which is the last thing you want as you love her purely.

If however, your intention behind all this is to gain control, you’ll operate in a different manner. Right from the start, you may start telling a number of people in your circle as well as in her circle that you’re taking her on vacation, you’re paying for it and you’re doing it for her happiness. Whenever someone appreciates you for this, you may feel proud and you may not even care about her reputation or her overall image or her feelings. All you care for is that you should get due value or even more value, for the money and effort being spent by you. Hence you don’t bother even if she looks like a bagger in this entire act and you look like a king. In fact, this is what you may want on subconscious level though you may not know it consciously.

Let’s make it simpler to understand. Whether you consciously know it or not, you’re telling everyone about your effort because this will put pressure on her and you may use it to your advantage in future. For example, her best friend may keep telling her time and again that you’re a very good person as you’ve done so much for her. Same may be the case with her close relatives and other people who’re important for her. Hence you’re playing a calculated game and you’re purchasing the opinions of the people who can influence her opinion, in your favor. As you keep engaging in such acts from time to time and as you keep propagating them as much as you can, you may eventually be able to condition her love for you.

It means that most people who matter to her may keep telling her that you’re the best thing that has happened to her and she is very lucky to have you in her life. As these opinions brainwash her or so to say mindwash her, it may become difficult or even impossible for her to even think of leaving you or going against you. Hence you have more control over her because if the two of you have an argument, the chances are high that she’ll surrender to your point of view, which is exactly what you want. There are two major reasons for which she may choose to be controlled by you.

The first reason is obviously the favors given by you and she may feel like owing you something. The second reason is even bigger and you’ve created it. You’ve conditioned the circumstances in such a way that if she goes against you or even if she thinks of leaving you, most people around her may not support her decision and some of them may even push her to reconsider her decision of leaving you. After all, you’re the best thing that has happened to her, so how can she choose to go away from you?

You’ve progressively conditioned her mind in a way that she may not even feel free to discuss some of your very negative habits with her loved ones as she already knows that such loved ones will speak in your favor, instead of being the neutral judges or even neutral listeners. Hence this practice and other such practices are the acts of control and they’re not the acts of love.

The most important thing to understand is that it is not an act which defines your love or control for someone, it is the intention behind such act which defines it. The acts of pure love don’t expect anything in return whereas the acts of control always look for returns. This is why you don’t care whether or not someone knows about the good things you’re doing for your lover, if you love her truly. On the other hand, your primary motive may be to make your lover as well as many other people realize that you’re doing so much for her so that you may use this fact to your advantage in future, if you want to control her.

After understanding this difference, it is interesting to note that most of us may exhibit both these types of acts in the same relationships. Hence some of our acts may be inspired by pure love and some other acts may be provoked by the control factor. As a general rule, more is the percentage of pure love or conscience in your personality; more is the number of acts of pure love whereas greater percentage of control factor or ego in your personality means greater number of acts of control. Since control factor is generated by ego, more egoistic you are, more incapable of true love you are whereas more conscience you have; more capable of true love you are.

Even if you have control factor as high as 80%, the 20% love factor you have may still be sufficient to make you engage in acts of pure love at times. Has it ever happened that when you woke up in the middle of the night, you found your lover feeling cold while sleeping, you gave her the blanket, you made sure that everything else is in order for her comfort and you never talked about it. If you ever did this or anything like this, this was an act of pure love. The important condition here is that you don’t ever let her know that you did so.

On the other hand, if you tell her about this act in the morning, it becomes an act of control though it may have started as an act of pure love. Hence you’ve converted your act of love into an act of control. This is because the only reason you’re telling her this is that she should know and remember that you did her a favor and you care for her, even when she’s asleep. You may definitely care for her but why do you want her to know? The true reason is that you want her to assign even more value to you and that value will help you control her.

You see, your ego can feed on your emotions and it can turn even an act of pure love into an act of control. If you truly love her, you’ll do everything in the night as mentioned and even you may forget it after that, instead of trying to make your lover learn and memorize it. I mean why do you want to tell it to her in the first place? You may want to do so because you want to put her under subconscious pressure which says your love is so pure that you can’t see her uncomfortable, even while she’s asleep.

Through this information, you’re trying to convince her to think positively about you as well as to get more attached to you so that you may use this information later on, in order to control her. More value she gives you, easier it is for you to control her. You may not know all this on conscious level but it is all happening deep inside you; on subconscious level. It means even you may not know consciously that you’re trying to control her through this act but your subconscious mind knows it perfectly and that is what matters the most. Hence you may consciously feel that this piece of information just dropped out of your mouth accidently; when it is a well planned move.

Your subconscious mind is so smart at doing things in the most natural way that you may not detect its intentions if you don’t pay due conscious attention; which means you’re an aware type of person. For instance, you may simply drop a natural line in the morning like, ‘I hope you slept well’. Though it looks like a natural line and all you may think is that you care for her and that is why you’ve asked her this. It means you know her blanket slipped away once, you put it back as she was feeling cold and the same may have happened again during the night. Hence even if you analyze this line after delivering it, you may consider it an act of love as you’re simply worried about whether or not she slept well.

However, this is what you may think on conscious level and your subconscious mind has other intentions. Since you almost never use such lines without purpose, it is natural for your lover to ask you why you are asking this question. When you ask a question like this, it means you have doubts whether she slept well or not. Since you have doubts; there must be some valid grounds for those doubts. This is what your lover also understands and hence she may want to know the reason you’ve asked this question.

Once she asks you this question; she gives you a perfect reason to narrate the whole incident. Now she knows why you asked this question and if she’s not very smart; she may not even realize that you provoked her to ask this question so that you may tell her about your act of love. Hence she may or may not realize that your intention behind using this line was to tell her about your act of love and receive appreciation on conscious or subconscious level; and even you may not know this fact on conscious level.

It means even you may think that she asked you to tell the reason and that is why you told her about the incident as otherwise; you may not have spoken about it at all. However in reality; your subconscious mind tricked you as well as her so that you may add more value to your love account by telling her about this incident. This happens because your love is corrupted and your subconscious mind knows it. However, your conscious mind feels that your love is pure and this is why it happens.

Since there’s a difference of opinion between your conscious mind and subconscious mind in this case, your subconscious mind uses hidden ways to bypass your conscious mind and engage in an act of control; which is what you want deep down. It should be noted that such acts are being performed by your subconscious mind; under the influence of your ego.

Most of us have percentages of pure love and percentages of control factor or in other words; percentages of conscience and percentages of ego. The sum total of these two percentages at any time is 100, as already explained in an earlier part of this book. Hence if you have 80% conscience which means 80% pure love at a time; you have 20% ego or 20% control factor at that time. This percentage is different for different people and it may be different, even for the same person; at different times.

For instance, you may have 80% love and 20% control at a point in time whereas you may have had 60% love and 40% control five years ago. It means you’ve achieved more spiritual growth or conscience during these five years by virtue of your efforts and hence you’re able to love in a better way at this time. Similarly, the percentage of pure love and control factor may keep changing, depending on the change in percentage of your ego and conscience; with the passage of time.

The journey of each person is amazing and accordingly; every person may witness billions of different experiences in a number of lives; before reaching liberation. These experiences keep changing the overall personality of this person and that is why the same person may behave differently or love differently at different points in time; depending on his exact personality at that time.

If you want to know how pure your love is in percentage, let me give you a method to do so. When you’re in love with someone say with a girl, more you feel the need to assert your love through words, acts or gestures; less pure is your love and more is the percentage of corruption in your love. It may look strange but this is how it is. Let’s now look at this concept in detail.

As you already know that your subconscious mind and conscious mind have their own ways of calculating or knowing things and accordingly; they have their own ways of expressing different things. Before moving ahead, it should be understood once again that your subconscious mind at any point in time gives you your true opinion, assessment, value or desire related to anything or anyone; provided you’re not engaging in such thing or with such person for the first time.

The phrase first time in this context doesn’t mean first time in this life and it means first time during the journey of your soul. Hence it means you have not experienced this thing or person; in this life or in any one of your past lives.

This is because your subconscious mind can only have knowledge or opinion about something; if such knowledge or opinion has been forwarded to it by your conscious mind; at least once but in general, more than once. The more you experience a thing or person; the more your subconscious mind knows about it and more correct it is likely to be about this person or thing. However when it comes to the first time, only your conscious mind deals with such thing or person as your subconscious mind has no record of this thing or person and this part of your mind operates on the basis of already stored data in most cases.

Hence your subconscious mind knows much more than your conscious mind in most cases and that is why the former rules you with or without your knowledge. The people who have high levels of awareness which means they have highly grown conscience know this thing consciously whereas an average person seldom knows properly that his subconscious mind is controlling most of his actions.

When it comes to deal with a person or thing, the opinions of your conscious mind and subconscious mind may be the same or similar about such thing or person; or they may be different. If these opinions are the same or similar, there is no conflict and hence things go along smoothly. If these opinions are different, the opinion formed by your subconscious mind is the one you’ll go with in most cases. Once again, you may or may not be aware that your subconscious mind is controlling your actions or even your thoughts about this thing or person; and such acts or thoughts may happen naturally according to your conscious knowledge.

For example, you see a girl for the first time, you get attracted, you try to socialize with her, you succeed, you two talk over coffee and sooner than you know; you may feel like having a deeper connection with this girl. It should be noted that we’re not discussing the routine type of physical attraction for opposite gender and we’re talking about meaningful things; like when you come across someone for the first time; who turns out to be your partner or spouse later on.

You may not know consciously as to why you’re feeling so thrilled yet relaxed in her company and why you’re feeling strongly that you can trust her or you already have a connection with her before this meeting. This happens because you’ve already had a relationship with this girl in one of your recent past lives and all the information related to such relationship is stored on your subconscious mind. As already mentioned in an earlier part of this book; your conscious mind transfers information related to things or people to your subconscious mind which stores this information. Your conscious mind changes in each life whereas your subconscious mind remains the same, throughout the journey of your soul.

Hence when it comes to conscious knowledge or memory of an experience of the past; you can only be aware about the details if such experience has happened in this life. It means you can only remember this girl on conscious level; if you’ve met her or you’ve had a relationship with her some years or many years back in this life. Since you’ve never seen her in this life; you can’t have any conscious knowledge about this girl or about the experiences you had with her. This is because your conscious mind which witnessed those experiences and transferred them to your subconscious mind was the conscious mind from a past life and that conscious mind is not with you in this life.

Since it is a new conscious mind and this one has never seen this girl; you can’t have a conscious feeling of having met or interacted with this girl. When it comes to your subconscious mind; it is the same throughout the journey of your soul and hence it has all the information related to your relationship or interactions with this girl; from one or more than one of your past lives. Hence when you see this girl; you may get attracted to her much more than you get attracted to most other girls in general. The same may happen to this girl also and none of you may know the reason why this mutual attraction is stronger than usual.

If you go back and try to remember; you may find out that the type of attraction that you had for your spouse or for a long term partner when you two started meeting was stronger or much stronger compared to the type of attraction you felt for other people with whom you may have had short or very short term relationships. In fact, you may only have got physically attracted to some of them and nothing more than that may have happened. It means in such cases, this attraction was more like the need of your body than the need of your mind and hence this attraction may not have deep roots or any roots in your past lives.

However, when it comes to the people of the first type, which means partners or spouses; the chances are high that you’ve already had relationships with them in your past lives and your subconscious mind has all the information related to these people. Hence when you look at one such girl, you get attracted to her and as she agrees to interact with you; you may start feeling very soon; that this attraction is more or much more than physical attraction. Your subconscious mind as well as her subconscious mind has data related to your relationships in past lives and this data is what does this trick.

In practical terms, it means that you two know each other well on subconscious level but you two don’t know each other on conscious level. Accordingly; your conscious minds can’t control this relationship or interaction at least in the beginning stages and your subconscious minds will take control of this operation of building a relationship or to be precise, resuming this relationship since it has already been built in the past. As a result, most of the things in one such case are handled and controlled by your subconscious mind.

Hence when you interact with this girl; you feel like you two have things in common or you feel like being more comfortable than usual, in her company and she may also feel the same. It may also happen to be the case that you two may strike common grounds or you two may discover common interests very soon and you may start pursuing them together. You may also find out that some habits of her are the ones you like a lot and the same may happen to her also, which means she may also like some habits of yours a lot.

 

Himanshu Shangari

 

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Hence if you’re buying this diamond ring due to the kinds of reasons mentioned earlier; it simply means you need to assert your love, which further means your love is not pure. Technically it means that your subconscious mind keeps telling your conscious mind that your love for her is not pure and it is corrupted.

This fact is heard by your conscious mind in form of feelings of guilt rising from something wrong done by you to her, feelings of doubt you may have for her, feelings of greed related to the things you want her to do for you and some other types of feelings. Since these are subconscious feelings, you may not be able to assign obvious reasons to them and they come to your conscious mind; more like inner voices or intuitions.

Your conscious mind wants to counteract these feelings because of your ego; as accepting these feelings means your love is corrupted and that leaves you with two options. This first option is to walk out of this relationship since you don’t love her purely; and the second option is to change yourself in a way that you’re able to love her purely.

The first option means to let go of something your ego has attached to; and the second option means to kill your ego because you can’t engage in pure love as long as your ego is there. Since both these options hurt your ego; it creates another option. This option tells your conscious mind to deny such information sent by your subconscious mind, which says your love is not pure.

When your conscious mind does the same; your subconscious mind finds this information false, as it knows for sure that you don’t love her purely; through experiences of the similar type; from this life as well as from many of your past lives. Hence it sends this information back to your conscious mind for reconsideration.

The latter once again says it is correct which means you love her purely; under the influence of your ego and this keeps happening till a state of disagreement rises between the opinion of your conscious mind and that of your subconscious mind or so to say between your ego and your conscience. In order to prove its point, your ego starts controlling you in a way that you may start engaging in acts of showing love in order to prove its point.

These are the acts which are not rising from your conscience and they’re instead rising from your ego. Since these acts are not selfless acts of love and they’re corrupted acts of love due to the involvement of your ego; they’re called assertive acts of love and not the acts of pure or natural love. This is because through these acts; your ego is trying to fool you as well as your lover that you really love her. However, it may only be able to fool your conscious mind at the most and your subconscious mind remains aware of the fact that your love is not pure.

You may not be consciously aware at this time; but you have engaged in such assertive acts of love; thousands or even millions of times in many of your past lives. Though each time your ego had tried to fool your subconscious mind through your conscious mind that these were the acts of pure love; the truth always turned out to be the opposite. It means in cases of all such acts of love; you ended up claiming those acts as favors; whenever you engaged in serious arguments with your lovers, from time to time.

It means though you consciously think you’ve got rid of the feelings coming from your subconscious mind; this is not true. In reality; your subconscious mind still knows that your love is corrupted. This is why it sends fresh feelings whenever you do something selfish. Whenever you receive such feelings; you once again engage in acts of balancing them out; and this process goes on, until this relationship finally fails like all other relationships from the past, which means from this life as well as from past lives. Hence the acts of asserting love mean the absence of pure love.

More is the number of such assertive acts or more frequent they are, less is the percentage of pure love and more is the percentage of corruption. However, if you’re engaging in all such acts naturally which means without paying attention to the results of these acts; your love is pure. More is the number of such acts of pure love; higher is the percentage of purity in your love and less is the percentage of corruption in it.

Once again; this fact rules supreme that it is not your karma which is more important and it is your intention behind such karma. This means that though your girlfriend may not be able to distinguish whether you’ve purchased this diamond ring for her; as an act of natural love or as an act of asserting your love in order to make her realize that you love her a lot; your subconscious mind knows it well and this is all that matters.

This is because an assertive act of love will always be accompanied by expectations which are going to show up sooner or later. If such expectations are not met; problems are bound to be there. Since all your expectations can simply not be met due to a number of variables; you’re bound to be troubled. This is the time when all these acts of asserting your love will come up and you’ll start thinking or mentioning them consciously. It means in this case; though you may not feel the conscious need to tell your girlfriend at this time that you’ve bought her an expensive diamond ring; this need is still there on subconscious level.

As soon as something goes significantly wrong and you two have a serious argument; you’ll find yourself telling her that you bought her an expensive diamond ring and you may speak about all other such ‘favors’ done by you to her, in order to tell her how deeply you love her.

Kindly understand that if you don’t think you’re doing her a favor while purchasing this diamond ring; you simply can’t claim it as a favor which means as an act to assert your love; when you two have a serious argument and favors given by each one of you are made clear to the other; in order to see who did more favors for the other : )

Hence the fact that you’re able to tell her during a serious argument that you purchased an expensive diamond ring for her indicates that you remembered this fact well. It further means that even at the time of buying this ring for her; you had subconscious intentions to use this fact in order to assert your love in future; if needed. Whether you have the need to list this act as a favor at a later stage or not; is secondary and the fact that you’re doing it as a favor deep down; is primary. Since you’re doing it as a favor; it is not an act of pure love and it is an act of assertion or so to say, it is an act of corrupted love.

Looking at her mindset; she realizes on subconscious level that you’re doing a lot for her and hence she may be subconsciously prepared to return the favors by doing certain things you want her to do or you want her not to do. In this way, you may start putting price tags in order to purchase her independence and you may do so under the guise of love.

This truth may hurt some people but this is what the truth is. Let’s consider a scene where a couple which has been together for many years, engages in a serious argument. Most of you may have witnessed such scenes in life as well as in movies and hence it may be easy for most of you to recollect what I’ll try to bring to your attention.

Have you noticed that during such fights, majority of people make their partners realize that they did a lot for their partners? For example, the male partner may say that he spent so much on the jewellery that he bought her from time to time; he took her to an expensive vacation recently; he kept awake for an entire night with her when she was suffering from fever and she couldn’t sleep; he purchased new apartment as she wanted him to buy a better apartment and many other things like that. After saying all these things, he may tell her that these are the signs he loves her and this is why she should respect him and listen to him.

The female partner may also say similar types of things like; she tolerates his habit of drinking too much and then creating scenes; she once caught him cheating on her but she chose to forgive him; she has so many men pursuing her but she ignores them for him and many other such things. After stating these reasons, she may also tell him that these are the signs that she loves him and hence he should respect her and listen to her. Taking a look at another angle of this fight, both of them may also remind each other of their shortcomings so that the other party should know that they’re not so perfect as they think they are.

Can this be called love? This is trade and nothing more than that. If you do things like this, you don’t love the other person, you’re engaging in a trade where you do certain things for your lover and in exchange for that, you purchase the rights to control her. When you fight with her, the reason you’re shouting at her may be that she wants to do something you don’t like. Hence you may advise her against it but she still wishes to do it. You may then tell her that you have the right to influence or even control her decisions and you give all the reasons mentioned above in support of that right.

You see, you’re engaging in a trade and nothing more than that. I mean, when you’re telling her that she should change her decision as you don’t like it, because you gave her expensive jewellery; it is an obvious sign of trade; the human trade. You are trying to purchase a human slave by making payments in the form of certain specific favors. It’s like you’ve hired an employee, you’re paying her salaries and accordingly, you tell her to listen to you and do what you say whenever she tries to do what she wants.

Looking at another angle, you may even remind her about her shortcomings or bad habits in order to make her feel small, in order to win the argument or in order to make her realize how big a compromise you’re making by choosing to be with her. Can this be called love? It is in fact a business contract of personal type, where both of you may have imposed silent conditions on the other and whenever one of you violates one of those conditions, the other one shouts.

Hence you’re doing business in the name of love and at the same time, you may be thinking that it is real love. It means your subconscious mind knows it is business but your conscious mind thinks it is love. The first part is not as big a problem as the second part is, which means doing business in the name of love is not as big an issue as the fact that you’re consciously oblivious to all this business and you think it is real love. This is because if you’re at least aware that you don’t truly love your girlfriend and you only need her to fulfill some of your needs and that is why you’re offering her a number of favors to balance the mathematics, you’re much better than you are in the second case.

In this case, you’re at least honest as well as aware because you have conscious knowledge of this state of affairs and you’re not pretending to yourself. It means your conscious mind and your subconscious mind believe in the same thing and hence there is no confusion or hypocrisy. This makes you honest and this also increases your chances of engaging in true love in future.

This is due to the reason that you’ve at least partly completed the process of changing yourself, by being aware about your state of affairs, as already mentioned in an earlier part of this book. Hence whenever you realize you don’t want to engage in this trade any longer, you may fall in true love. This is because you already know the difference between trade and love, which puts you in a position of advantage when it comes to separate love from trade.

On the other hand, if you’re engaging in trade in the name of love and at the same time, you’re not aware of it, which means you think you’re actually in love, your problem is much bigger. You’re not even aware about the problem you have and hence there are few chances of getting out of it. In the first case, you may truly fall in love because you know that what you have at this moment is not love and hence you may start working towards love any moment. However, in the second case, you’re not in true love but you’re completely convinced that you are.

It means you won’t feel the need to search for true love because you don’t search for something that you already have. Since you’re already engaged in pure love according to your illusions, there are no chances you’ll work to achieve it in reality. Hence your chances of being in true love are much less in this case and they’ll become better only when you realize that what you’re engaging in is trade and not pure love.

Coming back to the example, if you engage in all such arguments with your lover, you should know that you have anything but pure love. If you truly love this girl, your arguments may be of different type or there may not be any arguments at all, depending on your stage of evolution. For instance, if she wants to do something, you think it may turn out bad for her and you want to convince her not to do it, this is how you may behave. You may start telling her about the negative aspects of this thing, in a really caring way and not in a superior type of way or in a controlling type of way.

You may try to convince her and if she doesn’t agree, you won’t get angry though you may feel bad for her as you know she may end up in trouble. However, your part is to make her aware about it or even convince her to reconsider her decision; and your job is not to control her. Even if she chooses to go against your decision, your ego should not get hurt and you should not engage in arguments which are primarily targeted at proving your point or even at achieving this objective that she’s not a wise person.

Looking at some of these arguments, you may tell her that whenever she doesn’t listen to you, she lands in trouble in most such cases, she’s generally not a wise type of person and she keeps making silly mistakes. You may even mention some of those mistakes from the past and you may tell her other things like this. You see, it may have started from being caring about her, it has now reached the point where all you care for is to prove your point and make sure that she does what you say. If the argument prolongs, you may even bring in a number of favors you did to her, in order to show you really care.

You’re once again trying to control her and hence it is not love. If you’re in this type of illusionary love, each and every time you interact with her, such interactions may be the acts of controlling her, though they may be conscious at times and subconscious at times. It means you may intentionally engage in such acts at times and you may engage in such acts at times, without even you being aware about their controlling nature. Hence this is not love.

Moving ahead, suppose your girlfriend doesn’t listen to you, she does what she wants and as you calculated, she ends up in trouble. This is the time you may start telling her how wrong or foolish she was, when she chose not to listen to you or not to act upon your advice. You may even feel a strange type of joy when she lands in trouble as your point has been proven and this may give you advantage in future, when it comes to control her. In fact, you may have been wishing for her to land in trouble, from the time she chose to go against your advice, though such wishing may have been subconscious.

The reason you may do so is because there’s been a serious argument and she’s decided to go against your advice. If she succeeds at what she’s going to engage in, it is likely that she’ll get back to you and tell you that you were wrong and she was right. After all, she may also be doing the trade of love, instead of being in true love. Accordingly, as soon as the argument ends in disagreement and she chooses to do what she wants, you may start wishing for her to fail and she may try her best to succeed.

You may do so because you don’t want to feel ashamed if she succeeds as she may then tell you that you’re not so wise after all. Hence your ego gets scared of getting hurt in the future and accordingly you start wishing for her to fail, so that your point is proved. If you’re a less grown soul, you may even do or not do certain things to make sure that she fails. For instance, if she engages in a professional project against your advice, she gets into trouble at a time and there is something you may do to get her out of this trouble so that she may finally succeed, you may keep your distance and you may not help her.

This is because if she succeeds, her point will be proved and your ego may not want it to happen. Hence you keep quiet and you may even enjoy from a distance, when problems start appearing for her, as you sense victory, which comes to you in form of her failure. If you’re a relatively grown soul and your ego wants to control this girl, you may take a different path. As she faces initial problems, you may help her out of the situation and you may even help her succeed in her professional venture, assuming you’re capable of doing so.

However even in this case, you may keep telling her from the moment you start helping her till the moment this project is finished that her foolishness almost destroyed her and it is only due to your help that she’s been able to get out of such troubles and finish her project. You see, your ego has suggested you a better way of controlling her. This way, you give her one more favor and you prove your point too. Oh, and I forgot to mention that you also tell her one more time that you really love her and you’ll do anything for her : )

It should be easy to understand that almost everything that is happening in this relationship from the beginning till the end has you at the center and the girl is merely someone revolving around you. It’s like you’re the Sun of this system of relationship and bound by your gravity, this girl should move in whichever direction you want her to move. Whenever she dares get out of your gravitational field, you may try to bring her back to this field so that you may once again control her.

If you truly love this girl and she chooses to engage in something despite your advice; you may wish her to succeed and you may even try to do everything in your power to help her out. You don’t want to control her and you don’t want to prove a point. In fact, pure love always liberates and it never controls or binds. Hence if you feel restricted, bound or controlled in a relationship, this relationship may have anything but pure love in it.

Therefore, if she succeeds without your help, you’ll feel happy because of her success and not sad because of your failure. Kindly understand that you’ll only feel bad when she succeeds against your advice, if your ego is attached to your advice as it is your ego which gets hurt. On the other hand, if your ego is not attached to your advice, all you want is her happiness and whether that happiness comes by acting on your advice or by going against your advice is immaterial.

Hence you’ll feel happy for her and at the same time, you won’t feel you’ve lost anything. Your advice was based on your knowledge and experiences; and you did the right thing by offering it to her at the right time. Whether such advice proved right or wrong in her case is immaterial and it is important for your ego only. Hence you should do what needs to be done in a particular situation and you should not attach to the results.

Even if your girlfriend fails miserably at this project, the last thing you’ll do is make her realize even once that she made a mistake by going against your advice, if your love is pure. This is because when you say so, her loss becomes secondary and your advice becomes primary as the focus is less on her loss and more on your advice. Hence you may once again engage in an act of controlling her, by convincing her that she should surely act on your advice in future. It is once again about you and not about her.

Therefore if your love is pure, you’ll help her heal from this setback and you’ll never discuss the fact that you advised her not to do it in the first place. Kindly understand that freedom of expression or free will is the first right of every soul and a true lover will never want to take this right away from the one he loves. So when you truly love someone, you love them as they are and you don’t put conditions on them; that they should change themselves in ways that you like.

It should be noted that there’s nothing wrong in suggesting your lover or anyone else to change some of their habits as you may genuinely find them negative and troublesome for them as well as for other people. It is fine if it stays till here, as it is a sign that you care for this person, like for your lover; and you want to help her become a better person. However, as soon as you start making it a compulsory condition that she has to change those habits because you want her to, the love goes away and ego takes charge.

If your love is pure, you may certainly suggest things at times but you’ll never impose conditions that your suggestions must be implemented. Hence you may tell her about her negative habits, you may advise her to change them and you may then remain unaffected by the outcomes. It means whether she changes them or not doesn’t affect the love you have for her and you continue loving her in the same way. You understand that your job is to suggest her certain things which you may find good for her; and your job is not to force her to do those things, even if they’re the best things to do.

When you truly love someone, you don’t try to control her and you don’t try to snatch or restrict her freedom. You love her for what she is and that is it. If you even think that you can love her more if she changes a couple of her habits that you don’t like, you’re engaging in a trade and not in love. This is because you like this girl as a collection of certain specific habits and not as a person or soul. As your love may increase or decrease in quantum, based on her habits; you’re in love with her habits and not in love with her true self.

Therefore, if she develops more such habits which you don’t like, your love may decrease in quantum and a time may come when you may start looking for another girl, who may have the habits or personality you like. It means you never loved this girl purely and you only loved her personality at a particular time, when you got involved with her. If there were some habits in her that you didn’t like, your ego suggested you that you’d change them and hence you took a calculated risk.

However, over a period of time, you were neither able to change those habits nor you were able to accept her with those habits and that is why you feel troubled in this relationship. Just try to be honest to yourself for once and ask yourself these questions. Did you tell her straight away at the beginning of this relationship that you didn’t like some of her habits and you might love her only if she changed them? Did she promise you in response that she’d certainly change those habits and any other habits that you didn’t like?

If that happened, you have a fair chance to complain. You’re not in pure love in this case also but you’re at least honest about what you want. However, none of this may have happened and you subconsciously assured yourself that you’d change those habits of this girl, which you didn’t like. This is once again an act of control initiated by your ego; and it is once again a one sided story. I mean the girl hasn’t committed anything like this and she doesn’t even know about it. It is you and you alone who made all these assumptions and the girl had no part to play in it, at all.

 

Himanshu Shangari

 

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Another advice that your ego may forward to you is that whenever possible, you should have backups so that you may not have to suffer much, if the primary option fails. This advice applies to the relationships like love and it means that though you’re engaged with one person; you should look for or even mark at least one more option which may be used as a backup option. It means when you have a girlfriend the next time; you may still keep looking for other girls and you may even initiate a good level of targeted friendship with a couple of them.

The phrase ‘targeted friendship’ in this context means that you may convey to one such girl either consciously or subconsciously which is more likely to be the case; that you really like her and if you have an option; you want to have a love relationship with her. You may assess the responses of a number of girls you like and you may finalize a couple of them; who may also be interested in this proposal of yours; as they may also have similar personalities and they may also be looking for backups : )

All this information is stored on your subconscious mind since you can’t hide anything from your subconscious mind though you can hide a lot from your conscious mind. Hence you may do all these things and you may not even be consciously aware to the fullest that you’re doing all this to feed your ego. It means you may consider your acts of control as your acts of love and you may consider the backup girls as the girls you like a lot and nothing more than that. Since acts of love are good and liking someone is natural; you stay away from conscious guilt most of the time and all the guilt is forming on the subconscious level.

Let’s now sum up the information stored on your subconscious mind and find out; what love means for you in reality. The way your subconscious mind understands love is that it is an act of control, such control should be practiced in the best possible manner and at the same time; backup options should be there in case of need. This is what love means for you deep down and this is what you can imagine love to be at the most. It means that though you may keep assigning more value to your love as well as to the love that your girlfriend has for you; all these things are only happening on the level of your conscious mind and they don’t matter much.

What matters is the value assigned to love or anything for that matter; by your subconscious mind since it knows a lot more than your conscious mind. Hence in reality or deep down; love can only mean control plus backup option for you and nothing more than that. Since you’ve never gone beyond this; there’s no way you can actually imagine love beyond this point, though you may virtually keep imagining a number of things but they don’t matter. Hence deep down; love means control and backup for you and that’s it.

However, this is not the end of your problems and a bigger problem starts from here. Since this is your true definition of love; your subconscious mind can only expect this type of love from your lover and this is where it gets complicated. Suppose you’ve eaten ten mangos so far, with one mango at different times; and all ten of them were either sour or not so sweet. Though in general, most mangos are sweet and it is only because of bad luck or something else that you came across mangos which were not sweet; a problem starts deep down in your subconscious mind.

The way you can actually imagine the taste of a mango is the way you’ve felt it so far and not the way which most people suggest. It means that though mangos may taste sweet for most people or for a friend of yours; they don’t taste sweet for you; not till you’ve tasted one sweet mango at the least. No matter how much you may try to convince yourself that if the whole world says mangos are sweet; they are sweet; you may not succeed in believing so in the deepest sense. This is because your experiences with mangos tell you they’re not sweet and when it comes to your experiences; they’re almost always valued much more by your mind than the opinions of other people.

This is because you’ve actually lived them and what other people are saying may or may not be true; at least in your case. Hence you can’t completely believe that mangos are sweet and you’ll always have doubts about this fact; due to the experiences of the opposite type, which you’ve gone through, related to the taste of mango. The only way out of this situation is to actually taste a number of mangos which are sweet and only then you may be able to get rid of your past experiences which say mangos are not sweet.

The same is happening in this case also. Your perception of love is that it is an act of control plus backup and you simply can’t go beyond this. Though you may read a number of beautiful things about love and you may try to imagine how beautiful pure love can be; they won’t help and you have to go by your own experiences. Kindly understand that one experience witnessed by you is valued much more by your mind, than the opinions of hundreds of people related to the same experience.

This is due to the reason that when you actually live something; it is the biggest proof for how that thing is; at least for you. Hence no one can convince you completely against it; and only you can do so; by going through the same thing again and again; and witnessing different types of experiences; which may be similar to what other people are telling you.

Therefore, you can’t imagine the purest type of love as you’ve never practiced it and all you can imagine is the type of love already described. This is where a significant problem lies. Though you may consciously seem to trust your girlfriend when she says that she loves you in an honest manner; you simply can’t trust her on subconscious level no matter how hard you may try. This is because the word love rings different bells in your subconscious mind and you may start imagining her in your situation, which is the only way you can actually imagine her.

Suppose you were once thrown into ice cold water and you were forced to stay in it for five minutes though you hated this experience as you don’t feel comfortable with cold water. This experience will get registered on your subconscious mind in a strong as well as negative manner; which means as a painful memory. The next time you see someone being thrown into ice cold water; your own experience of discomfort may become alive. It is interesting that even if this other person enjoys ice cold water; you can’t do the same in your mind.

This is because his experiences are his and your experiences are yours. Accordingly, you can’t enjoy ice cold water just because someone else enjoys it and you’ll still keep hating it or disliking it; if it gives you discomfort whenever you try to get into it. Every person may react differently to the same situation; based on his exact personality type and his experience in one such situation is his genuine version of truth for that situation. It means when you say that ice cold water is troublesome, you’re telling the truth as this is how you felt it or knew it. At the same time, when the other person is saying that ice cold water is fun; he’s also telling the truth; though it is his truth.

Hence the truth can be different for different people in the same situation and only your version of truth is the real truth for you; at any point in time. You may not know or follow this rule on conscious level and you may try to convince yourself against your experiences, if a number of people are telling you something else about the same experiences. However, your subconscious mind places much more value to your own experiences as it knows this rule that what other people are saying may be true for them; but it may not be true for you. This is why you see different people experiencing the same things or situations in different ways; based on their exact personalities at the time of experiencing such things or situations. We’ll discuss more about this, later on.

Therefore, in the deepest sense; you can only imagine love to be an act of control plus backup and nothing more than that. Based on this knowledge, your subconscious mind may naturally assume that your girlfriend also means the same things; when she says or thinks she loves you. If someone accidently runs against a pickpocket; the first thing the latter may do is to check if the other person has not tried to pick his pocket : )

This is because he does it all the time and hence this is all he can imagine, on the most natural level; which means on the level of his subconscious mind. Hence the way his subconscious sees it is that if he needs to pick someone’s pocket, he needs to randomly run against him, in order to distract him. It also means that when someone runs against him randomly; he may be trying to pick his pocket. Though the other person may be the biggest donor in the world; this pickpocket can only consider him to be a pickpocket as his first response which is always natural.

A saint had a number of followers and he offered spiritual discourses, which hundreds of common people apart from his disciples attended to. One night he concluded his late night discourse by saying that midnight was approaching and it was the time to do what was best for doing at this time. Though the saint meant that his disciples should now go and meditate as they did on daily basis; a number of different people attending to this discourse drew different meanings from the same line.

The disciples thought the saint was telling them to mediate, which was what he actually meant. There was a thief in the crowd and he thought the saint was telling him that it was the time to engage in the act of theft; since he did so around this time. There was a prostitute in the crowd and she thought the saint was telling her to engage in her business as she was already getting late for it.

Two lovers present in that crowd thought the saint was telling them to run away; as their parents refused to accept their love; they had planned to run away and they had come to this saint in order to look for guidance. Hence they all did what the saint told them to do; according to them. You see, though the saint only meant meditation; these people understood him differently since they needed to be like this saint in order to understand what he truly meant.

Hence only a person who engages in pure love can understand what his lover means when she says she loves him. On the other hand, a person engaging in selfish love can only imagine his lover to be doing the same; since he doesn’t know what pure love means to start with.

A person who’s blind to a color say green can never imagine green; no matter how many people try to tell him how green looks like. If he sees green as yellow; this is what it means for him. Hence whenever someone shows him green; he thinks he’s showing him yellow. If yellow is selfish love and green is purer love; this is what may happen. When your lover tells you she loves you truly and let’s assume she does; she’s showing you green. However, you may only see it as yellow which means you may only consider she’s offering selfish love.

This is why your own mind is the primary factor when it comes to heaven or hell which you may witness. Even if the other person is offering you heaven or heaven is coming to you; your own negative mind may interpret it as hell and move away from it. Though you may complain that heaven never came your way; it was you who rejected it hundreds of times; as and when it came your way.

For the sake of present example, though the way your girlfriend loves you may be quite different in reality and she may even love you in a much purer way, there is no way you can imagine the way she loves you. This is because all your imaginations will be drawn by your own mind and it can only use the information that it has, based on your experiences related to love.

To summarize, you have a strong subconscious feeling that your girlfriend may try to run away, she may try to control you and she may also have backup or backups, just like you have or had; based on your experiences in the past. As that happens; your subconscious fears of losing her rise and at the same time; you start fearing that she may also have someone else as a backup. After all, this is how you love someone and accordingly; this is all you truly know about love. This is why it is said that you can only get true love if you can give it.

As long as you’re not able to give or generate true love; you’ll simply not be able to realize how it actually feels. Hence even if the other person is trying to give you true love; you may not recognize it or you may even refuse to accept it on subconscious level. This is because her brand of love is far different from your brand of love and your brand of love is the only brand that you actually know; deep down. Hence you may never be able to understand her love or anyone else’s love for that matter, if you haven’t generated such love; at least once from within you. This is why you can get true love only if you give it as otherwise, you may simply refuse to accept it even if it comes your way; as you may mistake it for something else.

This rule works in the opposite direction also. Have you ever wondered why some very good people or saints tend to trust and love everyone though a number of people keep betraying them or cheating them? It happens for the very same reason. These saints are filled with pure love and trust for everyone and this is all they can imagine. When they say they love you or they trust you; this love and trust is the purest type of love and trust. Since they are experiencing this type of love and trust; this is what the definition of love and trust becomes for them.

Hence when a person tells one such saint that he means well for him and the saint should trust him; the saint may simply not be able to have any doubts about the intentions of this person; even if he tries to have such doubts. This is because the way he knows love and trust are the purest ways and these are the only ways he can imagine other people practicing them. It means if he never betrays anyone; he’ll naturally assume that no one will betray him also.

This is because his loyalty for other people is pure and this is the only way he can define loyalty; deep down. Hence he has no other option but to believe that everyone wishes well for him; just like he wishes well for them. We’ll discuss more about this topic, later on. In other words, this saint is blind to yellow and whenever someone shows him yellow, he sees it as green which is pure love : )

Coming back to your case, you start doubting your girlfriend on subconscious level; as you can only imagine her loving you the way you love her. It means you are at a risk of losing her anytime. As your ego has attached to her and as it hates losing things or people it gets attached to, it may start encouraging you to make sure that you don’t lose this girl.

Hence when your lover comes to meet you in the evening, you may start asking her questions related to her trip as well as those related to the meeting. The types of questions you may ask depend on the level of your intellect. If you’re much less intellectual than an average person, you may straight away ask a question like, ‘Did you enjoy this trip with your colleague?’ or ‘Did your colleague try to hit on you?’

However, if you’re an intellectual person though you have a significantly strong heart also, you may take an indirect approach and you may ask different types of question. For the sake of this example, let’s suppose you’re an intellectual person and you know that asking such questions directly can offend her and she may move away.

As you’re intellectual, you already know how much time she has spent for the entire trip and accordingly you may want to divide this time into different segments so that you may look into each segment individually. For instance, it took her seven hours for the entire trip and hence you want to look into these seven hours in details. You already know that it takes about ninety minutes to reach the destination of meeting from her office and it takes almost ninety minutes to come back. Hence you calculate that she may have spent three hours in the journey and that leaves you with four hours.

Accordingly, you may start your friendly and caring type of investigation with a question like, ‘You really look tired. Did you have to drive?’ Though it looks like a caring type of question but in reality, your intention is to know whether they went alone or a driver accompanied them. If she says anyone of them drove or both of them drove at times, you know that they were alone. Let’s go with an option here and let’s suppose she says they were accompanied by a driver and hence he drove the car.

This answer takes care of three hours as you feel that they may not have engaged in personal type of conversation in the presence of the driver. Hence you have four more hours to sort out. Accordingly, your next question may be, ‘it must be the meeting then. Did it go long?’ Once again, you’re showing a lot of concern for her but your intention is to know about the duration of the meeting, so that you may do your calculations.

Suppose she says the meeting went on for two hours and it was indeed a tiresome meeting. Now you have two more hours sorted and two hours are what you’re left with. Hence you may want to know where she spent these two hours. As you may already have an idea that the meeting was around 11 AM, you know she may have got free around 1 PM. It helps you design your next question which may be something like, ‘Did you eat your lunch properly?’

Your voice may once again be filled with care and you say this line like you’re worried about whether or not she had her lunch. However, all you may want to know in reality is where did she have her lunch? Suppose she replies that they went to a nearby restaurant after meeting and they both had their lunch there. This is what may raise alarm in your mind as this may be the time, the two of them may have interacted on personal level. You may start feeling restless inside but you may hide it well. After all, you’re an intellectual person and you’ve already lost loved ones by expressing your fears loud and clear in the past.

You may then make the next move and you may say something like, ‘did you eat properly or did you just eat soup and bread like you sometimes do?’ Once again, your voice and words may show deep concern but all you want to know are the details of what happened over this lunch. Your lover may give a genuine answer and that answer may raise one more doubt in your head. Hence you may ask one more question in the same manner and this sequence may go on for some time.

During this time, you keep showing her that you care for her; and you keep investigating her. As she leaves, a number of doubts may have raised their heads in your mind and you may want to ensure that you don’t lose this girl. As a result, you may call her the next day and you may tell her about the surprise dinner that you two are having that night. Though it looks like an act of love once again, you’re trying to balance things out in reality.

Your ego may have encouraged you to do so as this act may show her you really care and accordingly, she may value you more. The dinner may go well and you may take special care of your girlfriend. At the same time, you may keep monitoring her responses so that you may notice if something is not as good as it generally is. For instance, if she tends to eat less or she wants to go home earlier than usual, you may start doing calculations once again, as the incident of yesterday may still be haunting your mind. Lucky for you, suppose all goes very well and most of the calculations work out in your favor. This is the time your ego may feel a little relaxed, though it may only be for short duration of time.

Many other such incidents may happen from time to time, which may upset your ego and in order to feel good, it may encourage you to go through a series of other such investigations. However, doing so may obviously have negative impact on your love relationship as your lover may sooner or later realize that you doubt her and she may even get tired of this habit of yours. What may happen to this relationship is not what we want to discuss and we’re interested in something else.

As you develop more and more emotions for this girl, your ego may get more attached to her through your heart; and accordingly, it may encourage you to control her. The thing about the ego is that it always wants to control things as well as people and it doesn’t believe in letting things or people exhibit in their natural states. In order to practice such control, you may start giving her expensive gifts if you can afford them and you may start doing her many other types of favors. These are what the subtle acts of control are; as you put subconscious pressure on the other person, through these acts.

Though she may consciously think all such gifts and favors are the signs of your love for her, they are in fact the signs that you want to control her and that is why you’re doing her so many favors. It should be noted that more favors you do for someone, more you may feel that you have the right to give her advice even when she doesn’t ask for it, you have the right to influence her decisions and you even have the right to argue or even fight with her if she chooses to go against your advice. This is how you control people, though you may yourself not be aware about it at times.

It should be noted that the word ‘favors’ in this context means the acts which are assertive in nature and which are not the acts of natural love. Assertive acts of showing love rise from the need to hide the lack of pure love you have for someone whereas natural acts of showing love are effortless and they convey the exact same feelings which you have for someone, deep down. In the deepest sense, natural acts of love don’t mean to show that you love; though love may be shown through them. It means such acts rise from love and not from the need to show your love. There’s a subtle but significant difference between these two terms.

Taking a look at an example, if you purchase an expensive gift for your girlfriend, primarily because you want to show her that you love; and not because you simply feel like purchasing it for her as you know she likes the item in question; it is an act of asserting your love; which means it is an act of control. This is because the need to purchase this gift is not rising from love; it is rising from the desire to show love. These two things may look the same to some people, there’s a big difference between them.

When you love someone purely; love alone is there and the need to show your love is not there. This is because your love for this person is so natural that the need to show it never appears. It should be noted that all the natural acts happen through your subconscious mind and hence even you don’t know why they’re happening. It means if your love is pure, you feel like purchasing a diamond ring for her, you purchase it and that’s it.

This means your act of purchasing this ring is based on the feeling you have at this moment and it is not based in past or future. However, if you want to buy this diamond ring for her because you recently doubted her loyalty for nothing and you’re feeling guilty now; you recently had an argument with her and you now want to make up for it; you’re planning marriage with this girl in future and you want to make sure she says yes; you want her to value you more as a lover; this ring is expensive and hence most people can’t afford to buy it for their lovers; or for a number of other such reasons which are based in past or in future; these are the acts of asserting your love.

As a simple rule; more you have something, less you assert it and less you have something, more you assert it. This is why you don’t feel the need to assert this fact to you that you’re healthy as long as you’re really healthy. It means when you can’t feel even a single part of your body consciously since everything is perfect; you’re in best state of health and hence there is no need to assert this fact to yourself.

However, as soon as a problem appears; you may now have the need to assert that you’re healthy; if you don’t want to accept you’re not. It means in this case, you can either accept you’re not healthy or you may assert it to yourself that you’re healthy and the problem in question is not affecting your health. It should be noted that if a problem say an injury happens to your leg; it may or may not affect you deep down.

It means if you’re really not affected by it and you feel healthy; your conscious or even subconscious attention will never focus on this injury; not even for a second. If that happens; it means you’re indeed healthy though this injury may be there. However, this doesn’t happen in most cases as only a saint can do this; and hence the second option is the prevalent one. This option says that though you may try to assert this fact to yourself that you’re healthy; your subconscious mind visits this injury again and again. More it visits this injury; more it knows you’re not healthy; more it tells the same to your conscious mind; more your conscious mind asserts you’re healthy in order to counteract the feeling sent by your subconscious mind and clearer it becomes that you’re not healthy in reality.

Your conscious attention or effort is required only when there’s something which can’t be managed by your subconscious mind; which means which can’t be done naturally, which means without conscious effort. Hence as soon as you need conscious effort to do something; such act becomes unnatural. It should be noted that effort in this context means the effort of the mind and not necessarily that of the body. For instance, when food is digested after you eat it; this act happens naturally and you don’t pay conscious attention to it; until something goes wrong.

Suppose you’ve eaten a lot about an hour ago and under some type of formal compulsion; you have to eat once again. When you eat with difficulty in this case; you consciously feel the need to make some space in your stomach and you consciously feel this food disturbing your stomach once you eat it. This is because your subconscious mind now finds it difficult to do this job in a natural way and hence it informs your conscious mind to pay attention. As long as there’s no problem related to this issue; your conscious mind doesn’t need to pay attention.

Similarly; you don’t need to pay conscious attention to your process of breathing since your subconscious mind takes care of it; which means it happens naturally. However, as soon as there’s a health issue or there’s a situation which makes it difficult for you to breathe; you need conscious attention. It happens because your subconscious mind alone can’t take care of this issue now; and hence your conscious mind is informed to pay attention. Therefore you may consciously try hard to breathe until this process becomes natural once again.

For instance, after running at fast pace for a while; you may consciously feel the need to focus on breathing and hence you may start breathing with conscious effort. This is because you’re falling short of oxygen; you need much more than usual amount of oxygen and hence you need conscious attention or effort. As soon as your breathing process returns to normal; you don’t feel the need to pay conscious attention to it and it becomes natural once again.

 

Himanshu Shangari

 

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Going to the opposite spectrum of this rule; fewer conditions mean less ego and more conscience. When you reach a stage where love only remains and the all the conditions like what you get in return and how to get it, disappear; your love becomes absolutely pure. It is difficult to give an example of pure love as most of us have percentages of ego which corrupts our love; I’ll still try to get as close as I can.

Suppose you’re a mother and your love for your son comes with no conditions or no expectations. All you care for is the love you have for him and there’s nothing more. The reason I’ve chosen a mother for this example is that a mother naturally has the highest chances of engaging in pure love with her children, compared to all other relationships. If you’re one such mother, you love your son from the first day and you keep doing so till the last day of your life. Whether your son obeys you or not; whether he brings profits to you or not; whether he cares for you or not; and all other such things don’t change your love for him and in fact, you never care for these things to start with.

All you know is that the love for your son comes naturally from within you and it never asks for anything in return. Hence you don’t put conditions on him though you may suggest certain things at times. It should be noted that suggesting or advising is not a condition unless it comes with the condition of being acted upon. For instance, if you tell your son that he should consider eating more vegetables as they’re good for health; and then you don’t bother whether he does so or not; it is not a condition and you’re simply doing your job.

However, if you tell him that he should consider eating more vegetables and then you start expecting him to act upon your advice; or you even keep repeating this advice in a forceful manner with the intention that this way; he’ll understand one day that you want him to eat more vegetables; it is a condition. This is because you’re trying to control his free will to eat or not eat vegetables; which means you’re imposing a condition on him.

On the other hand, if all you care for is to focus on your love for him; and you don’t care for any conditions or returns; this love is pure and it is not corrupted by your ego. It should be noted that conditions are required only in order to ensure certain specific results and they’re not needed otherwise. If such conditions are introduced in order to maintain collective harmony; they are introduced by the conscience and if the conditions of any type are imposed in order to get what you want or in order to get some benefit for yourself; they come from ego.

For instance, when law makers impose a condition that whoever kills someone except for some valid reasons mentioned under such law; shall be punished with life imprisonment or death; they don’t have any individual benefit in it and this condition is introduced to ensure collective well being. It means that even if one of these law makers kills someone, he may receive the same punishment. As this condition can harm him also, if he commits this crime; it means it has not come from ego and it has come from conscience. The basic identification of conditions coming from ego is that they’ll never intend loss to the one who introduces such conditions; if they’re fulfilled.

In easy words, for conditions coming from ego; the person creating those conditions is primary and the conditions become secondary or so to say; such conditions become the means or tools to facilitate him. On the other hand, for conditions coming from conscience, the conditions become primary and the person creating those conditions is found nowhere; as they have been created with the intention to benefit everyone and no one in particular.

It once again brings us back to the same rule; which says that for a person ruled by ego, the results are important whereas for a person ruled by conscience; the karma is important. The person ruled by ego is creating conditions to benefit from them and hence the result which means his benefits are important or primary; and the conditions are unimportant or secondary. On the other hand, the person ruled by conscience is creating conditions which are not meant to bring him any results and they’re meant to help maintain harmony.

It should be noted that even the person ruled by conscience may appear to be focused on results in some cases, like in this case; but there’s a big difference between both these types of people. For instance, even the law maker may appear to be fixed on the result that collective harmony must be maintained. However, kindly pay attention that there’s no individual benefit in it for him and in fact, he may suffer in future if he happens to kill someone under the attack from his ego. This law maker is simply trying to do his duty; which is to form laws which ensure harmony.

Hence he’s focused on the karma of forming law for collective harmony and not on the result, which means he’s not focused on whether such harmony is actually achieved or not. On the other hand, if a law maker proposes a law which appears to promote collective harmony but which in reality is being proposed so that he may benefit from it, as soon as it is formed; the ego may be involved significantly. For instance, if he proposes that farmers should be given free electricity in order to facilitate them, even when the farmers may be capable of affording paid electricity; and this law maker as well as many of his relatives own hundreds of acres of land where they do farming; this proposal is encouraged by ego.

This is because the farmers don’t really need free electricity. If the government chooses to give them free electricity; it will put more financial load on it due to which; it may have to levy more taxes on general public and that may disturb the harmony instead of promoting it. This is because in order to pass on unnecessary benefits to some people; a large number of people are being forced to pay more. Hence this is not a balanced act and the law maker may be proposing this law as he knows that he and his family members will benefit a lot; if this law is passed.

Accordingly; he may appear to be doing his duty which means he may appear to be guided by his conscience; he’s being controlled by his ego in reality; as he’s trying to cause unnecessary financial losses to a large number of people, in order to gain profits for himself. You see, how deep are the roots of ego within most of us? This is why it is the most difficult job in the world, to get rid of ego as you may have to get rid of your entire personality as well as your entire belief system; so that you may get rid of your ego.

Going back to the example, the choice given by Yudhishthir to the warriors of both sides is a neutral choice as it may result in his benefit or loss. It should be noted that if this war is won by his side, he will have one of the biggest empires of that time at his disposal. Hence the result of this war is not a small one and it is one of the biggest results anyone can choose to have or not. Accordingly, all his energy should ideally be focused on making sure that he wins and he gets this kingdom, if he’s ruled by ego. Add to this the fact that he as well as most wise men of that time was sure that his side was representing the truth, which means his side was right.

This gives him all the reasons to make sure that this war is won by his side because he’s fighting for the right or justice and his victory means that of right or justice. All these reasons are very good but they may only serve as excuses for his ego; if he forgets the basic rule which says to focus on the act of engaging in war and not to focus on the results. Since Yudhishthir is a man ruled by conscience; this is what he does and this is why he does so.

Conscience puts utmost importance to free will of each and every soul whereas ego tries to restrict it by imposing conditions on the others, in order to gain personal benefits. Being a man of conscience; Yudhishthir realizes that the fact that he feels or knows that he’s fighting on the right side doesn’t mean that each and everyone should think so; at least the people in his army at that point. As soon as he thinks that everyone should follow the truth that he follows; it becomes a condition and as you know; conditions for personal benefits are created by ego and not by conscience.

Hence he wants every warrior to find his own right or wrong; instead of being forced to act on the right or wrong decided by him or even by Duryodhana. It should be noted that the definition of right and wrong may be different for different people facing the same situation and everyone should have the right to express this definition the way he finds fit and stick to such definition, in order to do what he wants to do in the same situation.

Suppose a king has delivered a verdict to publically behead a person who’s found guilty of a murder; though he may be innocent but the king doesn’t know it. This means that the king has done his best to deliver justice and it was due to the circumstances that he delivered injustice; like there are solid evidences or proofs against him though they may be fabricated; and there’s nothing much to support his side. Hence he decides on merit that this person is guilty and he awards him the punishment that this crime calls for.

The public has gathered at the day of the punishment and the person who’s supposed to behead this person is ready with his weapon. Suppose a person who knows for sure that the convict is not guilty of engaging in this crime, requests the punisher that he should not behead the convict as he knows for sure that he’s not guilty of this crime. He even prays to the king that the convict is innocent and he should be freed; but the circumstances are such that he’s not able to prove the truth. As a result, both the king and the punisher reject his prayer and the convict is beheaded.

There are three people in this example; who are fighting for justice or right; and the definition of right is different for all of them. When it comes to the king, he’s done his best to deliver justice and this is what is right on his part. When it comes to the punisher, it is his duty to obey his king and this is what right means for him. Looking at the person who’s requesting to free the convict; it is right for him to make this request as he knows that the convict is innocent and accordingly; he should try his best to save him. You see, the right defined by the king is different from the right defined by the punisher and they’re both different from the right defined by the person who’s making this request.

It happens because of point of view; which means though a number of people may face the same situation; they may be assessing the situation from different angles and hence their points of view may be different; thereby making the definition of right or wrong different for them. For instance, if you’re standing face to face with your lover in an outdoor location and both of you are enjoying the beauty all around; as well as enjoying each other’s company; your truths or points of view may be different at different points in time. Suppose this location has hills and a lake in it.

Your angle gives you a vision of your lover plus some hills in the background along with some other things and hence this is your truth at this moment. Your lover’s angle gives her a vision of you as well as the lake behind you and hence this is her truth at this moment. Your true interpretation of beautiful in this case at this moment means your lover plus the hills whereas her true definition of beautiful in this case at this moment means you plus the lake. You see, you’re both calling this scene beautiful but your interpretations are different, depending on your points of view. Unless you see this view from her angle which means from her point of view; you simply can’t understand her interpretation of beauty in this case.

This is why it may not be wise to judge the right or wrong of other people and you should only judge your own right or wrong; because you’re standing at a point different than them and hence your vision sees different things compared to them or it sees things differently compared to how they see them. Since the judgments are based on what each one of you is seeing; they may become different as the variables affecting your judgments are different. Hence you should not try to judge anyone and you should try to judge yourself only, if a judgment is necessary to start with.

This is because when subjected to the other person’s point of view; you may surprisingly find the same thing true which the other person found in that situation. For instance, when facing hills in this example, you may say that the scene is beautiful because of hills and when facing lake, you may say the scene is beautiful because of the lake. None of these statements is false and they’re true from a specific point of view.

It is an interesting fact that if you’re a shopkeeper or a seller, the right thing for you is to sell your product for maximum profit whereas the right thing for the buyer is to buy your product as cheap as he can. When he tries to do so, his right becomes the opposite of your right because your purpose is to earn maximum profit and his purpose is to reduce your profit to minimum. Hence you may have some grudges against this buyer as his truth is the opposite of your truth; but wait till you read the next line.

When you go to another shop to buy something for yourself, his truth becomes your truth and your truth becomes your enemy as it now becomes the seller’s truth. As long as you’re a seller, higher price for a product is what you like and as soon as you become a buyer, lowest possible price for a product becomes your desire. Accordingly, you try to reduce the price as much as you can, when you go to another shop to buy a product. It means you’re doing the same thing that the person who purchased your product was doing in the same situation. Then why do you dislike him for reducing the price whereas you love yourself for doing the same?

The answer has already been explained in an earlier part of this book. You’re doing so because you’re a hypocrite as you’re not following the rule in its purest sense. For instance, we can define three rules for this situation and if you follow anyone of them in sense, you’re not a hypocrite. The first rule says that a buyer should try to reduce the price as much as he can. If you follow this rule; you should have no grudges against your customer as he was following this rule; and you also gain the right to bargain when you purchase something. Hence it is fair, if you follow this rule in sense. If you don’t do so, you’re a hypocrite.

The second rule says that the buyer should not bargain, though this rule may not look good to some people. If you follow this rule in sense, you lose the right to bargain when you try to purchase something though you can expect your customer to do the same. If you follow this rule in sense, even then you’re not a hypocrite. If you don’t follow this rule properly, you’re once again a hypocrite.

The third as well as the prevalent rule says that the buyer is allowed to try and reduce the price as much as he can and at the same time; the seller is allowed to earn as much profit as he can. This is the rule which is being followed nowadays. If you choose to follow this rule, you have the right to bargain when you try to purchase something but then your customer also has the same right. So why are you upset with him or judging him as he’s doing the same thing that you do in his situation. If you criticize him for doing what you do in his situation, you’re a hypocrite.

This is because you’re following only one rule; which is that no matter what the situation may be; only you’re entitled for maximum amount of profit when two or more people are competing and one of them is you. Hence when you’re a seller, you define bargaining as the worst thing; whereas you define it as the best thing when you become a buyer. In reality, both of them are fair and hence you should not have any grudges against the customer who’s bargaining with you.

Hence Yudhishthir knows that the truth he knows is his version of truth and a number of warriors may have different versions of truth; depending on their points of view. In fact, the truth of some of these warriors may be the opposite of his truth. Being a man ruled by conscience, he follows this rule in deepest sense that just as he has the right to stand by his truth; everyone else also has the same right; which is to find their own truth in this situation and stand by that truth. This is why he offers that if anyone wants to change sides, he’ll welcome them.

This is a high risk decision as even some of the best warriors of his side may choose to go to the opposite side; which may reduce the chances of his victory and he may even have to face defeat. However, victory or defeat is the result of this war and getting attached to result instead of focusing on karma is the mark of ego. Hence he ignores the result, though it is one of the best types of results anyone can achieve; and he focuses on his karma; which is to fight this far in the best possible manner. As all his focus shifts to the act of war, he becomes able to realize that everyone has a right to choose which side he wants to represent in this war and accordingly; he makes this announcement.

Even though the war needs to be won for justice; focusing on the result gets the ego involved and hence he chooses to focus on the act of war itself. As you fall in love with an act instead of falling in love with its result, it is natural for you to beautify that act as much as you can. This is what Yudhishthir is doing; beautifying the act of war, as much as he can. Only one warrior named Yuyutsu changes side, who is one of many brothers of Duryodhana; as his version of right is to fight from the side of Yudhishthir.

Conscience places great importance to free will and hence a man with high conscience hates imposing his will on others whereas this is the thing, ego loves doing. As already mentioned in an earlier part; ego can feed on your body, intellect and even on your heart. Many people think that since emotions come from heart and heart is generally related to beautiful feelings; emotions may not be as destructive as intellect. However, it may not be true in many cases and emotions can also do equal amount of damage, when they’re being fed on by the ego.

When it comes to heart and emotions, love is one of the best emotions it may generate. So let’s start with love. Suppose you love a girl and your heart is filled with beautiful emotions for her. You want to spend a lot of your free time in her company as you enjoy her company. It is fine till here but you may not know that as your emotions for this girl start gaining intensity, your ego may silently start feeding on them. It may start attaching itself to your lover through your emotions and it may even start controlling your emotions, which are related to this girl.

As time goes by and as you spend or invest more time in the company of your lover, the attachment of your ego to this girl as well as to the emotions related to this girl may become even stronger. You may remember this rule that more you invest time or effort in something or someone, more your ego gets attached to it. This is the stage where your problems may become significant though they may have started long back, as your ego was in the early stages of attaching to this girl. However, as they may not have been high in quantum, they may not have been noticeable.

When your ego significantly attaches to this girl, suppose your lover is going for a business meeting to a nearby town and she’s accompanied by a male colleague. If your ego is attached to this girl through your heart, you may feel uncomfortable about this whole incident. Your ego may start giving you a number of fears like, what if she develops liking for this colleague, what if the colleague tries to take undue advantage of her and many other such fears. Though your lover comes back on the same day, your ego may have given birth to a number of doubts.

The reason these fears are rising is because of the presence of ego as it hates losing anything it gets attached to. At the same time, it is always fearful of losing things or people it gets attached to. This is due to the reason that ego never plays fair, even in the fields like love which are dominated by heart and which should be the most fair among all the fields. As the ego doesn’t play fair, it knows that the other person may also not play fair because of his or her ego. It means when you tell your girlfriend that you love her truly; you don’t really mean it; though you may not know it consciously.

Your subconscious mind already has this information that your ego has corrupted your love for this girl and hence it is not pure. Since this is happening on the level of subconscious mind; you may not have conscious knowledge of this fact and you may believe that you purely love this girl, when you don’t. As you’re not telling the truth to your girlfriend when you say you love her; you simply can’t trust her deep down; when she tells you the same truth. It means when she tells you that she loves you; you know on subconscious level that her love for you may also be corrupted like your love.

This is due to the reason that in the deepest sense; you simply can’t imagine a feeling or experience that you’ve never gone through; though you may think you can. For instance, if you’ve never tried bungee jumping; you simply can’t imagine the feeling of thrill it can give you, in the deepest sense. Yes, you may compare this feeling to something else of the similar type that you may have done many times and through this comparison, you may try to get as close to this feeling as you can. However, you simply can’t have this exact feeling of bungee jumping until you actually have it; which means you try bungee jumping.

If you’ve never eaten a mango, you can’t feel or imagine its exact taste though you may try to get close through other fruits which taste like mango and you’ve eaten those fruits. Hence when a person who’s eaten a lot of mangos tells you that a mango tastes sweet, it’s pulpy and other attributes related to this fruit; you may start using the taste and texture of a number of fruits eaten by you so far; and you may try to build a mango in your imagination; which may have the sweetness of one fruit, the texture of another fruit and so on.

This is what your intellect does and this is what you may do in this situation. Hence you may build an imaginary taste of mango through your intellect and this taste may be different or much different from the real taste of a mango. However, due to the limitation of your intellect; you can only get this close to the taste of a mango and in order to know the exact taste of a mango; you have to eat it at least once. Therefore, you can’t imagine the exact taste or feeling of something; unless you’ve gone through it or done it at least once. If you eat mangos a number of times; you may now be able to imagine the exact taste of mango.

It happens in case of all other things related to all other spheres. You simply can’t imagine anything in its proper sense; until you’ve gone through it or you’ve had it. This is why experience is considered much better than theoretical knowledge. Verbal knowledge can only help you imagine something and such imagination may be different or much different from the real thing. Practical experience on the other hand, gives you the exact feeling of this thing as you’re living it instead of imagining it. Hence you can only imagine things through verbal knowledge whereas you know the exact truth of these things through experiences.

Coming back to the topic, since your heart is corrupted by your ego; you’ve never engaged in pure love and hence you simply can’t imagine how pure love operates. All you can do is to compare it to the closest thing you’ve done and then judge it on the basis of that experience. When it comes to the closest thing; it is the type of love that you engage in. Since this love is corrupted and at the same time; this corruption is hidden from your conscious knowledge as this is a subconscious type of corruption; the type of love that you practice is the most you can imagine and nothing more than that, in the deepest sense.

Let’s now look at the type of love you’re practicing; considering your love is corrupted by your ego. The first thing you wish deep down is to control your lover so that she may do things or she may behave as you want her to; as ego loves nothing more than control. Through experiences in a number of lives; your ego knows that its acts of control often make other people run away; and this information is also stored on your subconscious mind through such experiences. It means your ego has tried to controlled a number of people in this life as well as in your past lives and most of those people have eventually moved away from you; as no one wants to be controlled; just like you don’t want to be controlled.

Since a number of close people have moved away from you in this life as well as in your past lives; all this information is stored on your subconscious mind. It should be noted that ego necessarily pushes people away from you and there is no exception to this rule. Higher is your ego, more you attach to people and things, more you try to control them due to such attachment; and more you tend to push them away from you because no one wants to be controlled. This is because being controlled by the others goes against the basic rule of free will for every soul. Even if some people don’t know this rule consciously at certain times; they always know it subconsciously as this is the first rule of nature, related to the souls, and hence it is the first right of every soul to express itself freely.

As a result, when you try to control people or you try to restrict their freedom; they may start moving away from you. Some of them may consciously know that you’re trying to control them whereas some of them may know it only on subconscious level. Hence they may simply feel that you’re making them uncomfortable most of the time and they don’t feel comfortable in your company. The end result in both these cases is the same; which is the fact that these people move away from you.

As it keeps happening; your subconscious mind stores all these experiences. Since you don’t want your dear ones to move away from you as no one wants this to happen; there are only two options left for you. The first option is to stop controlling them so that they may not run away from you. However, this option needs conscious knowledge of your acts controlled by ego and it also requires you to bring your ego down to a tolerable level; if not kill it altogether. Since a number of such people are consciously not aware that people are running away from them due to their egos; they can’t move to the second step; which is to reduce ego which means to build more conscience.

Looking at the people who do realize that their loved ones move away from them due to the acts of control generated by their high egos; killing or reducing ego is not everyone’s cup of tea. As already mentioned; to get rid of ego is the most difficult job that a person or a soul faces and it becomes even more difficult in case of people who already have high egos. It means these people don’t have significant amount of conscience since high ego means low conscience and vice-versa; and hence their chances of getting rid of ego are far less than the people with relatively low ego and high conscience.

Since this option goes against your ego and you have high ego; it may create another option which is more likely to be the option you want. This option says that the reason your loved ones keep running away is that you are not able to control them in proper manner. It means that you’re either not able to control them enough to stop them from running away or you’re doing it in a way which makes it obvious to them that you want to control them.

Hence your ego may suggest you to change the ways you control your loved ones; so that you may control them more and at the same time; they may not know that your acts of love are acts of control in reality. This option looks good and as your ego is supporting you; the chances of success are high; at least according to you. Accordingly, you may choose this option and you may start controlling your loved ones even more and maybe in hidden ways; so that they may not run away. Your subconscious mind has all this information stored on it and it knows that when you say love; it means control.

 

Himanshu Shangari

 

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When that happens, the disease particles may not find energy to replicate or strengthen due to which, the immune system may find it easier to kill them. As this stage may be difficult to reach in case of a physically inactive person, he may not benefit the same, though he may still benefit to some extent. Have you noticed that in case of certain types of fevers or some other health issues, your doctor may advise you to eat less, in order to recover faster. Well, you know the reason now. The medicine as well as your immune system may find it easier to kill those disease causing particles within your body, as the supply of energy reduces.

Have you noticed that the medicines for a number of diseases are advised to be taken with meals? An interesting thing is that even the disease fighting particles contained by such medicines need energy to work, according to the same principal. The entire universe is the interplay of energy; where each and every type of action or reaction needs energy. Hence even the disease causing particles need it and so do the disease fighting particles.

Another interesting fact worthy of being mentioned here is that a number of animals start eating less or they may even stop eating at all, as and when they feel they’re suffering from some specific types of health issues. It may look strange as to why an animal may do that and even the animal may not know it, but you know the reason now. As the supply of energy is reduced to the bare minimum; these particles may fall short of energy and the immune system of one such animal may find it easier to kill these particles.

Coming back to the example where you’re suffering from a specific type of skin allergy which causes rashes or pimples to appear on different parts of your body, this is what may happen. If you try to treat one of these pimples with the help of an external medicine like an ointment; as you may find this pimple the most troublesome one, you may succeed in this effort in a day or two. However, as this problem has not been caused due to external factors and the root cause of this pimple as well as all other pimples on your body lies in the allergy living inside you; external remedy may provide temporary relief only.

This is because if this allergy is strong enough to cause ten pimples on your skin at this time and you kill one of them through external methods, another pimple may appear somewhere else on your body; so that the number is ten again. Technically speaking, this allergy is drawing certain amount of energy from your body and considering the amount of energy needed by one pimple to express itself on your skin; the energy being used by this allergy is sufficient to make ten such pimples appear on your body at a time.

When it comes to the spots on your body where such pimples may appear, the ten most vulnerable spots are selected automatically by this allergy, at any point in time. Suppose you are confined within an enclosure covered with walls all around, it is spread in hundreds of acres and along the walls, there are thousands of doors placed at certain distances. As you feel the urge to get out of this enclosure, the most logical way out is to break one of these doors and get out. Suppose most of these doors offer the amount of resistance which is greater than your strength. Hence you may not be able to break these doors and suppose this fact is known to you.

However, there are some doors randomly placed; which are weaker and you may be able to break them, if you try. This fact is also known to you and the only fact which is not known to you is which ones among these thousands of doors are the ones which are weaker. As the urge to break free reaches its peak, there may be only one logical way out. You may start hitting all the doors one by one with strength; so that you may randomly come across one such door which is weak and you may break it.

This is what happens within your body when the particles of a disease carry energy and they want to break out of your skin. They keep trying for such openings which may offer resistance which is weaker in comparison to the energy carried by these particles. As they find such doors; they get out and pimples appear on your skin.

Moving ahead, when you kill one such particle or a group of such particles by applying external medicine on the skin, but you don’t do anything to treat the source of this energy which is the allergy in this case, this is what may happen. As this particle is killed, it stops asking for energy and as a result, the source of allergy has extra energy available with it. This extra energy is given to another particle which is not doing anything due to lack of energy, that particle starts finding a weak door in your skin and the moment it finds one; another pimple appears somewhere else on your skin.

It is like when you break a door and try to get out of the enclosure, an armed man pushes you inside and warns you that he’ll shoot you if you try this door again. When you go inside, you’re once again left with the same choice which is to try and break another weak door and hope there’s no armed man on the other side of that door. If there is an armed man behind the next door also and he does the same thing, you may once again start finding another weak door with no armed man behind it. This process may go on until you find one such door and you get out; or you get unconscious or you die because of lack of energy as you don’t have anything to eat or drink; assuming that quitting is not an option.

The same thing is happening in case of this allergy. Hence the correct approach is not to kill a pimple in question from outside, the correct approach is to kill the source of energy that feeds this pimple from within you. As this source disappears; the energy being supplied by it to the particles vanishes and as this energy goes away; the pimple in question and all other pimples caused due to this energy have to go away.

Therefore, the destruction or misfortunes of your neighbor are not the correct solutions to this problem of jealousy because these things will try to treat this problem from outside only; instead of treating it from inside where the root lies. Hence even if your neighbor is completely destroyed; only a pimple has been killed from outside and the allergy is still the same strong within you.

The name of this allergy is jealousy and the root cause of this allergy is your ego. Therefore, the problem of jealousy is not going to go anywhere until you learn to kill the root cause of this problem; which is your ego. This is because the moment you turn your focus away from this neighbor who may have lost his car and house through misfortunes; a part of the energy allotted to jealousy by your ego becomes free. As you can understand now; this energy starts finding another outlet and sooner than you know, you may develop the same feelings of jealousy for another neighbor, friend or a relative.

This process may go on and on; the objects of your jealousy may keep changing but the problem of jealousy may not go away or even reduce. This is because this problem lies inside you and accordingly; it needs to be treated from inside. Suppose you start working on this problem; you try as hard as it takes and after a number of years of dedicated effort; you’re able to reduce your ego to the extent where it may not allot much energy to jealousy; your problem goes away. Now the same neighbor may live happily with his house and car or he may even buy many of them; but you won’t care. The root cause of this problem has been killed and hence this problem can’t trouble you now.

However, when it comes to kill ego or even when it comes to reduce it significantly; it’s a lot easier saying it than doing it in reality. I’m not trying to discourage anyone but this is how it is. To kill your ego completely; is undoubtedly the most difficult job you may ever try to accomplish and this is why it is the last job which needs to be accomplished; on your mission to liberation. As soon as you’re able to kill your ego or in simple words; as soon as your ego is completely replaced by conscience; liberation happens at that exact moment and not even a moment after that.

This is due to the reason that liberation means complete freedom and in the deepest sense; each and every type of restriction or condition is imposed by your ego. Accordingly; as your ego leaves you; all the restrictions which come with it; go with it too; leaving you liberated. You can’t imagine even a single condition which is not imposed by your ego, in the deepest sense; provided that condition should bring you some type of benefit; whether you know about it or not. We’ll discuss this topic in details, later on. However, let me still mention an example here.

One of the noblest conditions that you may apply to you is that you should die for your country when it is in need. This may be among the noblest types of conditions but it may still be generated by your ego instead of being generated by your conscience; and here is how you can check it. If the feeling to sacrifice yourself in times of need comes in case of your country only; it is generated by ego. On the other hand, if this feeling comes even when another country needs people to fight for it for valid reasons; and you go to that country in order to fight from its side with no personal benefits attached; this feeling is coming from conscience and not from ego.

Have you ever wondered why do a number of people feel proud when it comes to die for their countries whereas they may find even the idea of dying for another country as a strange idea? The answer is not pleasing but this is always the case with truth. If you can gladly die for your country but you can’t even think of doing the same for another country even if their need for you is the most genuine one; this noble act of yours is inspired by your ego and not by your conscience.

This is because you’ve defined conditions that you’ll die for one country and you won’t die for another country even when they may need you the same. When you go to the bottom of it; you may find that you’re doing so in case of your country because it is your country; which means you’re attached to it. As you can remember; I mentioned in an earlier part of this book that attachment is the ornament of ego and not that of conscience. As you’re attached to your country; it is an act of ego if that attachment is inspiring you to die for it.

Looking at the subconscious reasons behind this attachment or behind the wish to die for your country; your forefathers have invested a lot in this country and you may also have made some investments in this country. The future generations of your family are supposed to benefit through these investments, just like you’re benefitting from the investments made by your ancestors; and this is why you feel like dying for your country if needed; if you’re an ego type. However, all of it may happen at the level of your subconscious mind and hence you may not be able to become consciously aware of these reasons; and all you may think is that you love your country and that is why you feel like dying for it.

For instance, you may have a house, a bank balance, a circle of friends, a society and a number of other things which depend on the well being of your country in the deepest sense. It means if the enemy succeeds in capturing the area of your country where you live; you may have to move to another city, state or even to another country according to the intensity of the situation. When you do that, all of the things mentioned here may go away completely or partly. For instance, your house may go away completely, your circle of friends or even your community may get dispersed and you may have to do all or most of these things from the beginning.

These fears as well as many other such fears related to your survival and well being; as well as those related to the survival or well being of your loved ones; are the root cause of your desire to die for your country, if you’re ruled by ego. Hence in the deepest sense; you’re not willing to die for your country but you’re willing to die for your family, house and other such things or people you care for. However when it comes to die for another country; none of these things is in question; which means you don’t suffer any loss at all; whatever may happen to this country or to the people living in it. This means that deep down, it’s all about your profit or loss and hence it’s all about ego since doing things for your profit or loss is the domain of your ego.

Then there may be a second type of people who may not have such fears or greed inside them and all they may feel on subconscious level is that they’re indebted to their country for what it has given them so far and hence they’ll happily choose to die whenever their country needs them. It means the desire of these people to die for their country is not because of what they may lose in future if their country loses one such war; it is because of what they’ve already been blessed with by their countries so far. Hence it is all about paying the debt of their country and it’s not about future benefits which may stop coming to them; if they choose not to engage in war.

The first act is that of greed based in future whereas the second act is that of paying the debt based in the past. Accordingly; both of them are the acts of ego and none of them is a pure act of conscience since none of them is happening due to the need of the present, which is what happens in cases when acts are conducted through pure conscience. However, it should be noted that the percentage ego in the personality of the first type of person is higher in comparison to that in case of the second type of person. This is because the first type of person is willing to engage in war, primarily because of benefits or losses based in the future; which means due to greed.

On the other hand, the second type of person is willing to engage in war; primarily because he wants to pay the debt of his motherland and not due to any type of greed based in future. Hence the second type of person has a much better personality type which means he has much less ego and much more conscience; compared to the first type of person. It is easy to understand that an act of gratitude is always better than an act of greed. However, what may be difficult to understand is that even an act of gratitude has some percentage of ego in it, though such percentage may not be high. Let’s now look at the third type of person in the same situation, so that this equation may become easy to understand.

This is the person who’s willing to die for his country; neither because of greed and nor because of gratitude. He is willing to do so because he feels that fighting for his country is the right thing to do at this time and there’s nothing more to it. Kindly note that the sense of duty in case of the first type of person is coming from greed based in future; the sense of duty in case of the second type person is coming from gratitude based in the past and the sense of duty in case of the third type of person is coming from the need to do the right thing; and this need is based in the present.

Kindly understand that if you’re willing to die for your country because you may lose a number of things otherwise, it’s an act of trade where you’re trying to cut your losses. It means if you don’t lose anything at all, in case the result of this war is not positive for your country; this feeling of dying for your country may not rise from within you. This is because this feeling is being controlled by future circumstances which may change anytime. Since this feeling is not based on inner feelings of the purest type; it is corrupted and it is coming from your ego, as corruption is the other name for your ego.

Coming to the case of the second person; the feeling is being controlled by circumstances of the past; since he has this feeling because of events based in the past; where these events helped him gain advantages through his country. Hence this feeling is an act of payback, which means it is trade; because an act of payback means trade and nothing else. In the deepest sense; if these favors were not there to start with; this sense of duty wouldn’t have been there.

This is why this person can die for his country but not for any other country; because the other country in question has not done him any favors in the past. Therefore, this act is also controlled by ego though this person has a much better personality than the person of the first type, since gratitude is inspiring him and not greed.

The third person however feels the need to die for his country because this is the right thing to do at this moment. It means injustice is being done to his country as an enemy may be invading it without a valid reason; and hence he considers it to be his duty to fight from the side of justice; so that justice may prevail in the long run. This is the person who can die for his country any time when the situation so demands in a fair way; even if he’s has no gains or losses in the future and he doesn’t have any gratitude to return.

This is why this person may be willing to die for another country also; if the need of such country is genuine. Kindly understand that the wish to fight is rising out of the need to do the right thing at any moment; and this need is not inspired by anything else. It means such decisions are based in the present only; and they’re not based in the past or future. As soon as any decision of yours gets related to past or future; corruption may be added to it; since past and future are illusions and only the present is reality. It may be difficult to understand for some people but this is how it is.

This is why when lord Krishna is reminded in the battle of Mahabharata that he promised not to use any weapon during this war whereas he’s trying to use a weapon at the moment in question as he’s about to use his best weapon Sudarshna; his answer is beautiful. He says making such promise was the right thing to do at that moment and breaking this promise is the right thing to do at this moment. Hence when he made that promise; it was based on that moment since that moment was the present moment then. Similarly, when he’s trying to do something which breaks this promise; such thing is also based on the present moment.

It means he doesn’t relate his decisions to the events in the past and he keeps them unaffected from the past as well as from the future; so that such decisions may remain uncorrupted. The moment a decision of yours is attached to something that happened in the past or it is attached to something that may happen in the future, this decision gets corrupted in the deepest sense. This is because the present moment alone is real and the past as well as future at any time is illusion. We’ll discuss this topic in details, later on. However, let me mention an example to help you out a little.

Suppose you see two people fighting on the street and this fight is more like one person beating the other one. Suppose there is no ego on your part and you feel the purest need to help the suffering person. Hence you go to the scene, you try to understand the situation and you find out that the weaker person is representing the truth whereas the stronger person is wrong. You promise the weaker person that you’ll help him and you even start doing so. With your help; this fight changes in a way that in a matter of minutes; the weaker person is not only saved from further beating; he may even start beating the stronger person; since the collective strength represented by you two is higher than that of the other person in this equation.

It may happen for a few minutes or so and you may even let him beat the stronger person as you may feel that he’s been treated unfairly by the stronger person and hence he has the right to payback. However, if it keeps happening; you may soon start feeling restless and you may ask the weaker person to stop beating the stronger person. If he doesn’t stop, you may even warn him that you’ll stop helping him and this is when he may stop. Suppose this whole act took 10 minutes from the moment you promised; to the moment you warned the weaker person to stop beating the stronger person.

It means that if we consider this equation at the moment you warned him; this is what is happening. Just 10 minutes earlier, you promised to help him and you’re backing out from this promise now. Does it mean you’re guilty of breaking your promise and does that make you a bad person? No, you’re neither guilty of breaking a promise nor you’re a bad person. You made this promise 10 minutes ago because doing so was the right thing to do according to the demand of the situation at that time. You’re breaking this promise at this moment because doing so is the right thing to do according to the demand of the situation at this moment.

In the deepest sense; your only intention at both these moments is for justice to prevail in sense. Since the weaker person needed help in order for justice to prevail 10 minutes ago; you helped him. Similarly, the weaker person needed to be stopped in order for justice to prevail at this moment; you warn him that you’ll stop helping him. Though in literal sense; you’re indeed breaking your promise of helping him; you’re not doing so in the real sense or so to say, in spiritual sense; which is the deepest sense among all the senses.

When you said you’d help him; it meant in reality that you’ll help justice to prevail. When you said you’d stop helping him; it once again meant you’ll help justice to prevail. Hence your promise was not broken in the deepest sense and you kept it very well. The reason you were able to do so effectively because your conscience helped you make these decisions by looking at the things happening at the moment, in both the cases. It means when you warned him to stop offering help; you didn’t get attached to the promise of help made by you 10 minutes ago. Since attachment based on past or future is the act of ego; you were able to stay away from it; as there was no ego involved in this act.

You may think after reading the example of wish to die for your country; that this way; even the best of the things done by us are inspired by ego in part, in most cases. Though it may hurt; it is the ultimate truth and there is nothing wrong with it. As soon as a person get rids of his ego completely; he’s liberated which means he’s never born again under compulsion. It means that the mere fact that we’re born in this world means that we have egos and no other proof is required. Hence you don’t need to worry about the fact that you have ego as all of us have it. The only thing you need to do is to assess its strength and then start engaging in the practices which keep reduce it.

This is why people witness that a true saint is willing to help anyone or suffer for anyone; as long as doing so is for positive reasons. Since he operates on the basis of present moment only; facts like whether he may profit from this person or not in future; and whether this person has done something for him or not in the past; don’t affect him at all. It should be noted that you also help people when they need your help and not otherwise. This means that as long as your boss doesn’t want to have a cup of coffee; there’s no point in feeling the need to make coffee for him.

The saint also offers help when there’s genuine need for it and the only difference is that you’re focused on the result of this act of help whereas he’s focused on the act of help itself. Since the result is to appear in the future or it has already appeared in the past; you’re not living in the moment and hence this act is an act of illusion in spiritual sense. If you’re willing to make this cup of coffee for your boss because you fear he’ll get angry at you if you don’t do so and hence you may suffer loss in future; this act is controlled by your ego. Similarly; if you’re willing to make this cup of coffee for your boss because he’s a very good person and he’s given you a number of favors in the past; this is an act of payback based in the past; and hence it too is controlled by your ego.

However, if you’re offering him this cup of coffee as you feel like he needs it and you can make it for him while he’s doing something else which may be important for him; this is an act of conscience since it is rising from the need of the moment and it is not rising from past or future. It is in this case only; that you’re focused on the act of making this coffee and not on the results of this act. If such is the case; you can now make coffee for each and everyone who needs it since you don’t attach any greed, fears or gratitude to this act. This is what makes you a saint since you’re focused on the karma of making coffee and not on the result of this karma.

This brings us back to the two most important factors; the desire element and the need to focus on karma. As soon as you start focusing on the karmas instead of their results in the deepest sense; all your problems go away. When it comes to get attached to results; it is only the desire element within you which ties you to the results and hence the desire element is in the root of everything. Since the saint has crossed this stage; which means he doesn’t have desires and he’s able to focus on the karma; he has the ability to decide on the basis of what is right or wrong in the present moment.

Going back to the example, when it comes to die for an unknown country, you have no attachments to this country and hence the decision to die for this country or even the wish to die for this country can come from conscience and conscience alone. Ego always works on the principal of profit and loss as well as on the principal of attachment; whereas conscience works on the principal of right or wrong as well as on the principal of universal well being. Hence a person ruled by conscience may fight for his country as well as for any other country which needs him and such need is genuine. On the other hand, a person ruled by ego may die only for his country and he may not even think of dying for any other country.

This reminds me of a meaningful incident from the epic Mahabharata. The final war is all set to start between the armies led by Yudhishthir and Duryodhana. Millions of men are ready to fight from each side and just when the formal announcement for this war is about to be made, Yudhishthir says something very important. He conveys to the warriors in his army as well as to the warriors in Duryodhana’s army that this is not just any war and it is a significant war between right and wrong.

He says that the purpose of this war for him is to establish the right by fighting the wrong. He adds that this is why every warrior should fight this war, not due to encouragement from his ego but he should ask his conscience to make this decision for him. Hence he proposes to all the warriors belonging to both the armies that they should take a moment to ask themselves this question; which side is fighting for the right. If the answer comes in favor of the army they’re already fighting for; it’s all right.

However, if any warrior’s conscience tells him that the army of the opposite side is representing the right in this war and it further tells him to join that army, such warrior is free to do so. Hence he proposes to each and every warrior in both the armies that if they feel like changing the side they’re going to fight for; he’ll welcome it. He concludes that this way; he allows every warrior from his side to join the other side if such warrior feels the other side is representing the right and he’ll welcome every warrior from the opposite side; who thinks that the right is being represented by his side and such warrior wants to join it.

This is a very good example to understand the difference between the working of conscience and ego. If Yudhishthir is a man ruled by ego, he may never be able to make this announcement as it comes with high risk. This is because victory is one of the most important things for ego and the means through which such victory is achieved are secondary. It means that a person ruled by ego may try to win a competition, first by playing fairly but as soon as he realizes that he can’t win by playing fairly, he may start using unfair means so that his victory is ensured.

On the other hand, a person ruled by conscience doesn’t care whether he wins or loses and all he cares for is to play fairly and give it his best. This is one of the basic differences between ego and conscience where the former is absolutely focused on the result which is victory; and hence the karma which is playing in this case, may get out of his focus. Accordingly, he may not be able to pay much attention to the quality or nature of his karma and all he cares for is the result. As long as you initiate most of your karmas after being attached to the results, it is a sign that the percentage of ego in your personality is high, though you may still have conscience.

A man ruled by conscience may however, do what needs to be done in a particular situation and he doesn’t attach to the result. He’s all focused on the karma, which improves the quality as well as the nature of his karma. As already explained in an earlier part of this book; when most of your energy is focused on a point or objective; such objective is likely to be highlighted; which means you may do your best to achieve this objective.

It means when you’re focused on karma; you pay attention to the nature of your karma whereas if you’re focused on the result, you often forget to focus on the nature of your karma.  When most of your energy is focused on the objective called result; you may not have sufficient energy left; which may help you decide whether the method adopted by you to achieve this objective is fair or foul; even if the objective itself is fair.

For instance; suppose you love a girl and she loves you too. When it comes to marry each other, the father of this girl disagrees to this marriage due to some reason and the girl refuses to marry against the wish of her father. Loving this girl is fair and there is no problem with that. If the girl chooses to marry you against the wish of her father; your decision to marry her is fair. This is because in the deepest sense, only this girl is entitled to make this decision and no one else has the right to make this decision for her or impose his decision on her; though the social norms may advise against this fact, at times.

If you try to convince this girl to marry you against her father’s wish, by telling her that it should be her decision and not her father’s decision; even that can be called fair to an extent. However, if you try to force this girl, threaten her or her father in a way that you end up marrying this girl or you do any other such thing which is done without considering whether it is fair or unfair and which violates the rule of free will for every soul; it is an act of ego and hence it becomes unfair. In this case, you may hate the fact that she loves her father more than she loves you, which means she should love you the most.

These are the acts of your ego since you’re imposing a number of conditions on her as well as on you; through this thing called love. You’re imposing conditions on her that she must marry you at any cost, she should not love her father more than she loves you and many other such conditions may be there. You’re imposing condition on you that you must do each and everything in your power to get this girl, whether those acts are right or wrong; and if you don’t do so; your love is not true.

Hence your love is corrupted by your ego and it is not pure. As a rule, more is the number of conditions you impose while engaging in anything, like love for the sake of this example; whether such conditions are being imposed on your lover or on you; more is the ego factor and accordingly; less is the factor of pure love.

 

Himanshu Shangari

 

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It’s not about this single event and it is about the tendency of this single event to initiate a series of events which may finally result in a habit; a habit which says using heart where intellect should be used is fine and skipping duty in order to enjoy is also fine. We’ve already discussed the formation of habits from single events in the first part of this book and hence I’ll move ahead.

Another point worth mentioning is that as long as the emotional person is focused on the beauty of this river, he may not contribute much towards the research. We already know that the subconscious mind of this person will send a significant amount of energy to his heart as his heart is more active than his intellect at this time. As a result, the amount of energy sent to his intellect may reduce significantly. With reduction in this energy, his ability to find or analyze certain facts about this river may reduce because less energy means less output; whether such output is being produced by the intellect or by the heart.

Hence the same problem is happening in both these cases, though the entities receiving more energy are different in these cases. When it comes to enjoy bathing in this river, maximum energy should be available to the heart so that you may enjoy this river to the maximum. As intellect activates, more energy starts flowing towards it, which reduces the amount of energy being sent to heart and as a result, you may not enjoy this river properly; or you may not enjoy it at all; depending on the quantum of reduction in energy which comes to your heart.

The problem is the same in the second case also. Looking at the objective in the second case, maximum energy should be available to intellect so that it may do its work in the best possible manner; as this objective requires the application of intellect. However, as the heart of the emotional person gets activated; it starts drawing more and more energy, thereby reducing the amount of energy available for intellect. As the energy available for intellect reduces, its performance also reduces and it may fail to deliver what it is supposed to deliver.

Hence in both these cases, the entity unsuitable for the type of job in question is using more energy, thereby reducing the amount of energy available for the entity suitable for the job. As a result, the suitable entity may fail to do its job properly due to lack of energy; and the purpose may be defeated. Therefore, use of intellect should be avoided in the first case and use of heart should be avoided in the second case.

This is what keeps happening to most of us in day to day life where the entity unsuitable for a job in question consumes a significant part of available energy, thereby reducing the amount of energy that goes to the entity fit for doing such job. As a result, this suitable entity fails to do this job in proper manner or it may fail completely, in some cases. In common language, we call it lack of concentration or distraction; and it means lack of energy to the suitable entity in technical language.

Hence the word distraction means that a significant part of available energy is being consumed by an entity to focus on something which is not the primary objective of a job in hand. This reduces the amount of energy available to complete the primary objective and hence you may fail to do it, or you may not do it properly, due to lack of energy, though you’re otherwise capable of doing it. This means you can do or you may have done this job many times; when you’re not distracted. These were the times when sufficient energy was available to the entity required to complete this job and hence this entity was able to complete it.

Has it ever happened that you’re sitting at a place, working on some project and all of a sudden, a beautiful girl comes and occupies a table which comes directly in your line of vision? You may have worked well on this project so far but you may start lacking focus from this point onward and accordingly; the progress may slow down considerably. The technical reason for this event is that this girl gets your heart interested in her, your heart gets activated and it demands more and more energy in order to enjoy the beauty of this girl.

As more energy is sent to your heart or as it steals a significant part of the energy which was so far going to your intellect; your intellect falls short of energy, assuming your project needs intellect. Accordingly, it becomes incapable of producing the same quality of work, that it was producing so far and hence your performance drops. If your heart keeps steeling more and more energy with the passage of time as it may start enjoying this situation; you may even stop working on this project as you may realize that nothing much is going to happen; as far as this project is concerned.

A number of other such incidents happen to most of us in day to day life where a secondary entity steals the energy required by the primary entity and hence the primary entity fails to do the job in hand. Primary entity in this context means the entity which is fit for doing a job in question whereas secondary entity is the one which is causing distractions. Sometimes, the primary and the secondary entity may be the same and the distraction may be caused due to the interest of this entity in something which may not be your primary objective at that time.

For instance, if you’re a song writer and you’re working on a new song at a quiet cafe; the primary entity used for this job is your heart. This is because writing songs in its deepest sense deals with emotions and hence it is dominated by the heart. As you’re working on this song, this girl comes and sits in your line of vision. Your heart likes her and it starts using more energy to enjoy her beauty than working on this song. Hence you may get distracted as your heart is divided in two parts and the part which is creating distraction is bigger than the part which wants to work on this song.

This happens because your heart liked working on this song the most, till the moment this girl came. As soon as you look at this girl and your heart gets interested, the quantum of interest your heart has in this girl may become bigger than the quantum of interest it has in the song. Hence it stops focusing properly on the song and it starts focusing more on the girl. As a result, you may not be able to work on this song any longer and you may instead start focusing on the girl; which is your natural response in this case; being an emotional type : )

Hence a big part of available energy may be used by an entity to create a distraction. This is one of the biggest problems of this time; and the only solution to this problem is to grow conscience as conscience alone has the ability to stop a secondary entity from stealing energy from a primary entity when the latter is engaged in something and it needs to finish it. You see, conscience is the solution to most of our problems and in the deepest sense, it is the solution to all our problems. I’m using the phrase ‘solution to our problems’ because at this point, we are surrounded by problems all around and accordingly, the best thing to read is solutions to these problems.

However in reality, conscience doesn’t provide solution to most of our problems and it does something else. As soon as your conscience grows beyond a point, it stops most of problems from being created in the first place and hence, there is no need to talk about solutions. I have used the phrase ‘most of the problems’ because most of the problems are created from inside us and only a few one of them are created from outside, which means they are created due to variables beyond our control.

When it comes to the problems created from within us, they can be stopped only from within us and not from outside. For instance, if you’re jealous of your neighbor’s car or house; it is a problem generated by your ego from within you; and it has got nothing to do with the circumstances outside. Some people may think that this problem can be controlled from outside also because if the neighbor loses his house and car, this problem may go away.

This is only what may look like the solution, especially to the person who is suffering from this problem due to his ego; and it is no solution in reality. It should be noted that your jealousy for your neighbor is not the fullest expression of this problem and it is only a small fraction of this problem. This means if you are jealous of your neighbor, he’s not the only one and this jealousy may be there in case of a number of people, from time to time in your life. Hence the fullest expression or root cause of this problem is not your jealousy for your neighbor, it is the word named jealousy in general, which means the existence of jealousy to start with.

Suppose you’re suffering from a specific type of skin allergy which causes rashes or pimples to appear on different parts of your body in a way that approximately ten pimples remain present on different parts of your body at any time. It should be noted that even a majority of problems inside you need energy to express them and this energy is also provided by your body. As your body has a limited amount of energy, a problem can also grow to a limited extent over a limited period of time, though such limits may be different in different situations.

Hence if you’re healthy and active otherwise, the chances are high that fewer pimples will appear on your body, even if you have one such allergy; compared to someone whose lifestyle is passive. The type of allergy may be the same in both these cases; but the extent may differ. This is because your body keeps consuming most of the available energy due to your active lifestyle and hence, not much energy is available for the particles causing this allergy inside you. Accordingly, the allergy may not be able to express itself beyond a point.

On the other hand, if you have a passive lifestyle, most of your energy is available for the particles causing this allergy and hence the number of pimples may increase in this case. It should be noted that most actions or reactions in this universe need some type of energy to happen. Accordingly, your body, your intellect, your heart, your ego, your conscience and even the particles causing disease need energy. As the supply of energy to these particles is reduced; they fail to express them at their maximum capacity and the person having such allergy may not suffer much.

Have you ever noticed that a number of health problems give you a feeling of weakness in your body, even though these problems may directly have nothing to do with weakness; and this weakness is considered as a by-product of such diseases, in medical terms? The reason it happens is that such a disease initiates a number of processes inside your body and as all these processes need energy; a big part of the energy available inside your body on average; goes towards these processes and hence the amount of energy available for your body to engage in physical activities reduces.

As the particles of a disease, say fever enter your body, they start drawing more and more energy from your body in order to express themselves completely. This may reduce the amount of energy available for your body as well as for your intellect and heart. At the same time, the immune system of your body starts fighting these particles and in order to fight them effectively; it also needs energy. Since the energy is consumed by your immune system also; the amount of energy available for your body reduces even more. This is why you start feeling fatigued relatively sooner; when you try to engage in physical activities while suffering from a disease.

Have you ever heard that people in the old times suffered much less from health problems, compared to us? Well, you know the secret now. As they kept using most of their available energy in order to do one thing or the other, the disease particles were unable to find sufficient energy to express them on a big level. For instance, if the virus of common cold stays within your body for about five days on average; the quantum of problems caused by it may be different in different cases, depending on a number of variables.

The first variable is the strength of your immune system versus the strength of this virus and this factor may change the equation considerably. If your immune system is strong enough to counteract the effect of this virus, it may remain present for three to five days but it may not express itself on a bigger scale as your immune system is counteracting it effectively. As a result, you may suffer from cold for a few days but it may not cause much problem for you and it may only cause running nose, watery eyes or some sneezes at times. If your immune system is even stronger, you may not catch cold to start with.

The second variable is the level of your physical activity and this factor is related to the first factor also. It means that people who engage in a lot of physical activities are likely to have stronger immune systems than the people who don’t engage much in physical activities. Suppose you engage in physical type of jobs which require you to work hard for eight hours every day. As you finish your work on a particular day; the muscles you used a lot for this job need attention or repair as some of them may have suffered injuries, which is why body ache is caused.

As you take rest or as you sleep in the night, your body starts repairing these muscles and this repair is done by your immune system. Suppose this is your first day at one such job and before this day, you didn’t engage much in physical activities for a long period of time. It means that your immune system may be an average type of immune system and hence it may not be able to repair all these muscles till the next morning. It should be noted that there are two important factors related to the performance of your immune system. The first factor is how much your immune system can do and the second factor is how fast?

Even an average type of immune system may be able to make these repairs, however it may take longer time. Hence your immune system at this time may be able to repair these sore muscles in 72 hours and not before that. As you get back to the job on the next day, you may not feel as energetic as you felt on the first day because all the muscles have not been repaired yet and in addition to that, your immune system is still working in order to complete the pending job of muscle repair, which needs energy.

Accordingly, the number of healthy muscles as well as the amount of energy available to your body drops which makes you uncomfortable while engaging in this job. However, as you understand that you have to do a certain amount of physical work by the end of the day, as a part of your commitment; your will power comes to help you and you keep working hard, even with sore muscles. You may still not be able to produce as much work as you produced yesterday, you may do reasonably well.

When you do so, your subconscious mind detects the need to make your immune system faster so that the muscles may be repaired faster and you may be able to produce the amount of work committed by you on daily basis. As this is your second day only; your subconscious mind may not allot the exact amount of energy to your immune system, which is required by it to expand in a way that it is capable of repairing all these muscles in 24 hours or even less. This is due to the reason that your subconscious mind assigns importance on the basis of repetition.

Accordingly, more you keep repeating any type of action or thought; more important it becomes for your subconscious mind as with each repetition, you send one more request and the number of requests related to a particular action or thought is the most important thing for your subconscious mind. Since this is your second day only; your subconscious mind may increase the supply of energy to your immune system but this energy may still not be sufficient to enable your immune system to the extent that this repair may be done in 24 hours. Suppose the extra energy allotted to your immune system enables it to complete this job in 48 hours, compared to its previous performance which needed 72 hours.

On the next day, you may still not feel at your physical best but in order to honor your commitment, you may keep working with sore muscles and you put more load on them. Another request is sent to your subconscious mind that the repairs need to be completed even faster. Accordingly, it may allot even more energy to your immune system and this increased flow of energy may enable your immune system to make these repairs in 36 hours. This may continue for some days and a day reaches say the fifth day at job; when you feel that though you were fatigued last night; you’re as fresh on this morning as you were on the first day.

This is a sign that your immune system has expanded and it is now repairing most of your sore muscles within 24 hours. The reason it didn’t do so on the first day or the reason it did so in 72 hours in the beginning of this venture is once again the rule of management of energy, obeyed secretly but surely by your subconscious mind. Till the first day; your routine was such that you didn’t engage in hard physical activities for many hours on daily basis.

You may only have engaged in such jobs once or twice a week due to various reasons. Hence you may have needed most of your muscles to be fully capable, every third or fourth day. As per your demand, your subconscious mind controlled the amount of energy available for your immune system in a way that it was capable of making such repairs in 72 hours as this was the time after which, you might need most of your muscles again.

As already explained, it is the job of your subconscious mind to allot only as much energy to an entity within you, which can enable it to complete the jobs it may be dealing with regularly at a point in time; and not more than that amount of energy. By doing this, your subconscious mind ensures that the remaining energy is available for the other entities as they may need it anytime.

As you keep doing this physically demanding job on daily basis, your subconscious mind understands that all those muscles need to be repaired within 24 hours and accordingly it boosts your immune system. Over a period of a week or so, your immune system may have become stronger than it used to be; particularly in case of physical repairs. As your immune system strengthens, the chances are fewer that you may suffer from a disease as this system fights such disease particles strongly, in order to make sure that you are able to do your job on the next day.

A point worth mentioning here is that this is why a day off from work after every five to six days was introduced so that your immune system may do all the pending repairs if there are any; and your abilities may be restored perfectly. It may happen in case of many people that even if they engage in physically demanding jobs on daily basis, their immune systems may be able to repair about 80% to 90% of the sore muscles within 24 hours and not more than that. The reason for this may be the fact that the amount of physical load put by you on your body in such cases; may demand so much energy to be allotted to your immune system in order for it to make repairs in time; that the energy available for other important entities may be compromised.

Accordingly, the amount of energy available to your immune system may enable it to repair 90% of the sore muscles within 24 hours and not more than that. When you get a day off and you don’t engage in hard physical activities for many hours, this is the day when balance is restored. The muscles which need repair on this day and night may be half in number, compared to the number of muscles your immune system can repair on daily basis. Since it is an easy job for your immune system, this is the day when it completes all the pending jobs and you feel at your best on the next day; say Monday. You see, how smart and intelligent a system is working inside us, which can take each and every type of decision on its own and which seldom makes mistakes : )

Coming to the people in old times, they worked hard and hence they had stronger immune systems. In addition to that, they kept consuming the available energy on rapid pace on account of the demand for energy, generated by their bodies in order to meet their job requirements. The stronger immune systems were able to fight the disease particles in a better manner and at the same time, not much energy was available for disease particles to expand and express them on a big scale. Hence many of them didn’t suffer from problems like cold whereas some of them had cold at times; but it was a subdued type of cold which didn’t bother them much.

Hence physically active people tend to suffer less from physical type of health issues due to the reasons already explained. Here is an interesting experiment that I’ve done a number of times and you can also try it, but with significant amount of caution. The first thing you need to know is that this experiment may deliver significant positive results; only if you have a habit of engaging in physically demanding jobs on regular basis, and not otherwise. For instance, if the nature of your job is physical or you go to gym and you exercise on regular basis, this experiment may work for you.

Let’s start with common cold which affects you through a virus and this virus needs energy to express itself. The next time when it comes to you; this is what you can try with caution. When you haven’t eaten for about 2 to 3 hours at the least, go to the gym and start working out. If you’re good at walking, running or at any other type of cardio activity, you should engage in one such activity as that may increase the success rate of this experiment. For instance, start walking on a treadmill as you do regularly.

Since a part of the energy is being consumed by this virus and another part is being consumed by your immune system; the amount of energy supplied to your body may reduce and accordingly; you may start feeling tired relatively early. This is natural but this is not the end and this is where we may change the equation by using the formula that a laborer uses without even being aware of it.

Put your will power to work and when this barrier of fatigue comes, try and break it by continuing with the activity like a laborer does when he keeps working despite having cold or fever. As you break this barrier, slowly but surely, you may start feeling that not only is the level of fatigue decreasing; the level of discomfort caused by cold is also dropping.

This happens because of the rule of conscious focus that your subconscious mind obeys perfectly and this is the rule used by the people who engage in specific techniques of meditation, which is the art of using conscious focus at specifically targeted entities. As you consciously make effort to keep walking and as you keep walking despite the fatigue; your conscious mind sends strong signals to your subconscious mind that walking is an important activity at this time and it should not be stopped at any cost. As these signals are repeatedly sent to your subconscious mind with each step you take and as your subconscious mind starts working on this request, the equation may start changing.

Your subconscious mind may start cutting down the amount of energy being supplied to all other resources and when that happens; the energy being supplied to the virus may be reduced first as well as the most. This is because of another rule which your subconscious mind obeys and this rule is even more important than the first rule. This is the rule of survival and this is the most important rule for your subconscious mind. According to this rule, your subconscious mind will try its best not to temper with the amount of energy being supplied to your immune system in order to ensure survival because your immune system means your survival.

Accordingly, your immune system may not feel much reduction in energy and it is the virus which may fall short of energy. A trick which may help you is to keep walking for as long as you can, like for an hour or even for two hours; even if you have to reduce the pace in order to meet this target. As you keep doing so, your immune system may keep working well but the virus may fall short of energy as the energy being consumed by it so far is now being supplied to your body, in order to enable you walk more and more.

This way, a stage may reach when your immune system becomes stronger or much stronger than the virus, it may start killing this virus and accordingly, the count of this virus in your body may start dropping. Keep doing it until you’ve burned equal number of calories or even 10% more calories than you usually burn. When you get off the machine, give yourself a drink and have a meal which should not be very high in calories and take some rest.

Over the next few hours, you may start feeling that the intensity of cold has dropped. This is because the virus has dropped in number due to lack of energy it needs to remain activated against your immune system. As you’ve not eaten a lot, the amount of energy supplied by the food may be consumed to fill the basic type of energy in your body as this energy has been depleted through exercise; and towards making repairs to the muscles which may have got hurt during this exercise. This is why taking rest for some time may help as the process of repair becomes faster.

The reason why the energy supplied by food may primarily go to your body and not to the virus is once again the rule of survival. Your system doesn’t love diseases and it loves the state of being healthy. Hence it tries its best to keep you in best shape; and it can achieve this target relatively easily, if you also support it by doing things which help it achieve this target at any stage. When you have this meal, the first priority of your system is to fill your body with the most needed energy called glycogen, which is stored in blood and which is ready to be used anytime. It is this energy which has been recently depleted by you through exercise.

Hence it may not provide much energy to this virus, unless you give it too much extra energy through the meal in question. It should be noted that the exact definition of balance for this meal in question is different for different people and it can be realized only after experiment. It depends on your body type, your level of activity in general, the number of calories you’ve recently burned and on some other factors also, each one of which can change this equation. For instance, a 400 calorie meal may be sufficient if you have average body type and you have burned 500 or 600 calories in this cardio session.

On the other hand, the same 400 calorie meal may trouble you by creating energy deficit in your body, if you’re a muscular type and you’ve burned 1500 calories in this cardio session. If such is the case, you may need 600 or 700 calories in order to make sure that at least the amount of energy required for basic operations is supplied to your body. This limit varies in case of different people and it can be observed through experiment only. This is why this experiment needs caution and accordingly, only the people who are the aware type of people should conduct it; as they are generally able to observe the needs of their bodies far better than average type of people.

This experiment can be done in case of some other health conditions also, like viral fever; but due caution should be observed. A thought may rise that this way, the people who don’t engage in physically demanding activities on regular basis can also benefit by eating less while suffering from such issues. Yes, they may certainly benefit by eating less but the quantum of benefit may be less or far less than that in case of physically active people. This is because in case of physically active people, a stage may come when they may consume most of the energy available in their body; except the fat storage; in order to keep doing what they may be doing.

 

Himanshu Shangari