If you like this book and are capable of buying it, kindly buy it on Amazon and kindly write a review about the book. Your purchase helps us provide more and more free content to needy people and your review helps other people make their decision about the book.
This is because habits are not much dependant on circumstances outside and they’re dependent on preferences stored related to them; deep inside you; on your subconscious mind. Hence if you have built a breathing pattern of taking short and fast breaths whether or not you know when you formed this pattern; this pattern will continue to be effective until you put in significant conscious effort to change it. Suppose you suffer from a particular health issue; you visit a doctor and he tells you that your breathing pattern is the cause of this health issue. Hence he may suggest you to change your breathing pattern in a way that you may take long breaths.
Just because you know that your present breathing pattern is causing problems; just because you start disliking this breathing pattern and just because you already know the correct type of breathing pattern; you’re not going to get rid of your present breathing pattern and you’re not going to get the new breathing pattern; merely on the basis of this information or even desire. Your present breathing pattern was formed after a long history of conscious effort of a specific type and you may need similar type of effort to change your breathing pattern.
Hence you may start doing so on conscious level; you may have to monitor the way you breathe and you may have to try hard to change this pattern to the one you want; for one month; two months or even for a much longer period of time. Since it is a big task; you may or may not succeed; depending on the strength of your conscious mind versus that of your subconscious mind. It should be noted that your present breathing pattern is being controlled by your subconscious mind and the new breathing pattern will be established by your conscious mind; if you succeed in doing so.
Therefore, when you’re trying to impose a new breathing pattern on the already existing breathing pattern; your conscious mind and subconscious mind are in conflict. For years or even for lives; your subconscious mind has been implementing the same breathing pattern and any effort to change this breathing pattern is seen as an invasion by it. Hence it’ll try its best to maintain this breathing pattern and it will put as much resistance to the objective of your conscious mind; as much it can.
Yes, breathing patterns can also come from past lives and in fact; most people may keep having the same or similar breathing patterns for a number of lives; unless they change them consciously for any reasons; in one of their lives. Once a new breathing pattern is formed; it continues to be effective unless another series of conscious efforts is practiced to change it. Most things related to us keep behaving or existing in the same manner through our subconscious minds; unless an external effort which means conscious effort to change some of these things is practiced.
It is like the law of motion which says that every body continues to be in its state of rest or motion; unless an external force is applied to change such state. Acting on the same rule; everything being handled by your subconscious mind keeps happening in the same or similar way; unless conscious effort is applied to change it. Since most of the jobs in our existence are handled by the subconscious mind; most things keep exhibiting in their already established patterns; unless these patterns are changed consciously.
Hence when you try to change your breathing pattern or any other habit for that matter; your conscious mind is in conflict with your subconscious mind which puts resistance to change. This is because your subconscious mind works on the basis of rules or conditions and it is never comfortable to work with rules or conditions which keep changing.
Just imagine what may happen if the laws of your country are changed every month or every week? The common people as well as the law executing agencies may find it very difficult to get accustomed to the frequently changing laws and the system may collapse as a result. This is why it is not considered wise to change laws or rules of any type on frequent basis; so that a predictable order may be maintained.
The same happens in case of your personality; and your subconscious mind opposes changes of any type, so that it may continue to work in its present state of handling certain things in question. Hence it resists the efforts of your conscious mind to change anything, simply in order to form some type of predictable harmony as otherwise, your overall existence may suffer much more than it may benefit. Just imagine that your subconscious mind doesn’t put any resistance to your conscious efforts and you’re able to make any changes to your personality; whenever you want them.
It means if you want; you may become lazy one moment; you may become hard-working the next moment and you may become lazy once again; the very next moment. Similarly; you may choose to become brave one moment and coward next moment; you may choose to become kind one moment and you may choose to become cruel next moment; you may choose to get attached to someone one moment and you may choose to get detached the next moment; you may choose to love one moment and you may choose to hate the next moment; and you may be able to do a number of other such things of the opposite types.
If you’re able to do this; not only the harmony within your existence may get disturbed; collective harmony may also get disturbed. This is because if you love someone one moment and you get married to her at that moment; you hate her the very next moment and you want a divorce; you love her at another moment and you want to get married to her again and then you hate her again; only chaos is going to prevail. Likewise, if you become brave one moment, you run away the next moment and you come back the moment after that and so on; it is once again going to end up causing confusion or chaos.
In order to avoid all such things; your subconscious mind registers each and everything as a pattern and it may take long or very long to register this pattern; depending on a number of factors. When one such pattern is formed; your subconscious mind may do its best to protect this pattern and hence it may offer resistance to any changes which your conscious mind may want to make to this pattern. This practice of your subconscious mind ascertains a basic level of harmony in your existence; so that things may operate smoothly.
Imagine you’re a very good as well as a kind person. This habit of being good and kind has been formed on your subconscious mind as a result of significant conscious effort produced by you; through a series of acts of kindness and goodness. Hence your subconscious mind tries its best to protect this habit so that something of the opposite type may not happen every now and then.
Suppose someone hits your car with his car, an argument takes place and it heats up to the point where you may even think of engaging in physical violence; on conscious level. If your subconscious mind is unable to resist this conscious desire of yours at this moment; you may even end up killing this guy or injuring him seriously as you may at once change your habit of being kind to the habit of being cruel.
Since you can become cruel in a moment and it means cruel in the deepest sense; you may kill this person as well as many other people during your life time; though you’re a kind and good person. Doesn’t that sound strange that you’re a kind and good person but you keep killing people? This is why your subconscious mind resists any changes that your conscious mind may want to make, related to certain habits of yours.
A big difference between the working of your conscious mind and that of your subconscious mind is that your conscious mind operates on the basis of individual events in most cases whereas your subconscious mind operates on the basis of thousands of events of the similar type. This is why you may need thousands of acts of a type to create a habit and you may need similar number of acts to change such habit. Hence your conscious mind is more like ‘in the moment’ whereas your subconscious is operating more on the basis of preferences which form your personality or nature.
Therefore, when you have an argument with this guy and you get enraged; your subconscious mind starts opposing you strongly because what you’re trying to do at this time is not in accordance with your habit of being kind or good. In fact, you’re trying to engage in an act of cruelty which is the opposite of kindness. As a result; you start hearing a number of voices from inside and these voices try to stop you from engaging in a fight or even from prolonging the argument. If these voices are not sufficient on their own to stop you from engaging in violence; your subconscious mind has many other tricks.
Your subconscious mind may distract you or distort your focus away from this person and it may do so in a number of natural ways. For instance, it may bring your attention to the fact that a number of people are trying to mediate and you should at least listen to them. As you tend to listen to them; your focus is distracted and you may not be able to have the same amount of anger; once you’re done listening to them. One of these persons may suggest you that you should better inform the police instead of messing with this guy on your own; and your subconscious mind may strongly support this advice.
Before you know, it may convince you to either settle the matter peacefully or let the police handle this matter; whatever may be the best possible option according to the situation. However, whichever option you choose to go with; you’ve avoided engaging in a physical fight; or so to say; your subconscious mind has succeeded in keeping you away from this physical fight. When you look at this incident after a day or even after a couple of hours; you may thank those people in your mind; as they stopped you from engaging in an act of violence; which you absolutely hate deep down.
In reality; it is your subconscious mind which did this trick. A number of people may also be there to stop you from engaging in a fight; if you’re a violent or cruel type of person. However when that happens; your subconscious mind will almost never let you pay attention to these people and it will motivate you to focus on the act of violence. You may engage in violence and you may never realize that a number of people tried to stop you from doing so.
This happens because of the same rule. In the first case; your subconscious mind is trying to protect your habit of being kind and hence it makes you listen to the people who’re advising you against physical fight. In the second case; your subconscious mind is trying to protect your habit of being violent or cruel and hence it keeps you away from paying any attention to the people who’re advising you against violence. Since these people are doing the same job in both these cases but the outcomes are the opposite in nature; it means there’s more to this equation than these people.
It is your subconscious mind which is distracting you away from violence in the first case and it is your subconscious mind which is focusing you on violence and away from the people advising you to avoid violence, in the second case. Hence you only choose to listen to the others when you really want to do so, which means your subconscious mind wants to do so; though you may not know it consciously.
Once again we come to the same and the most important fact that Heaven and Hell are both within you and they’re not outside. Though the circumstances outside as well as the situations outside may be exactly the same for two people; one of them may receive heaven through one such situation and the other one may receive hell through the very same situation; depending on their mindsets.
For instance, if you don’t like rain and it starts raining suddenly when you’re outside; you may start feeling like hell. However, another person near you is enjoying this rain like it brings heaven to him; since he may like it a lot. So how can we define whether rain in this case brings heaven or hell as it brings hell for you and heaven for another person?
It means that rain neither brings heaven nor hell to you; and it is your interpretation which brings such heaven or hell to you. If you interpret rain as hell, based on your mindset which is further based on your overall personality; rain means hell in this case. On the other hand, if you interpret rain as heaven; based on your mindset which is further dependant on your overall personality; rain means heaven in this case.
You see, rain is rain and it is neither heaven nor hell. It is your interpretation which attaches heaven or hell to it. The same happens in case of all other things, situations and people. It means none of them brings heaven or hell to you in reality; and only your interpretations related to them bring such heaven or hell.
Taking another example; your girlfriend gets married to someone else against her wish under pressure from her parents; and you’re upset like hell. You start cursing her parents and you may even curse your girlfriend. Her marriage fails in six months primarily due to her strong attachment to you. If you’re still so much into her; this divorce appears like heaven to you. Her parents realize their mistake; they meet you and they express their wish of getting their daughter married to you. This news comes as heaven to you and her parents look like the angels of heaven to you.
You get married to this girl and suppose problems start surfacing after some time; as they usually do in a number of marriages. It takes two or three years for you to make up your mind that this marriage is hell; and you want to get out of this marriage though the girl may want to continue with marriage. Once again, her parents approach you and they request you not to break this marriage and give it another try; and this advice seems like hell to you. You get divorced against their advice and this divorce looks like heaven to you.
Considering another option when they advise you to stick to your marriage, suppose you consider their request and you give another chance to your marriage. This chance works out and five years after that; you have a happy family with this girl as well as with a couple of kids. Whenever her parents visit; they bring heaven to you because they convinced you to give more time and effort to this marriage and their advice proved good.
Let’s analyze these heavens and hells witnessed by you at different times; related to same people or same situations. When her parents got her married to someone else; they looked like devils. When they got her married to you; they looked like angels. When they asked you to continue your marriage though you didn’t want to; they once again looked like devils to you. However, if you continued this marriage and it worked out well in the long run; they once again started looking like angels to you.
Talking about the girl, she looked very good to you when you two were in love; she looked bad to you when she got married to someone else; she again looked good when she got divorced and she married you. Moving on, she again started looking bad to you once your marriage suffered and if you chose to continue the marriage; she started looking good once again.
So how will you define good and bad in this case? I mean what is the real criterion for deciding good or bad in this case? The most prevalent answer is that the circumstances, situations, things and people outside are what bring heaven or hell to you. Is it truly so in reality? Kindly pay attention that this girl may have been more or less the same throughout this entire episode but she brought heaven to you at times and she brought hell to you at times. Her parents may also have remained the same; but they also brought heaven to you at times and they brought hell to you at other times.
Looking at certain things or situation; when her marriage with someone else happened; this marriage brought hell to you but when her marriage happened with you; it brought heaven to you. When her marriage with someone else suffered, it brought heaven to you but when the same happened in case of your marriage; it brought hell to you. Since neither the people involved in this equation, which means this girl and her parents nor the situations or things involved in this equation, which means concepts like marriage and disturbance in marriage may have changed much or they may not have changed at all; they can’t be held responsible in the deepest sense.
That leaves you and you alone and this is where the problem lies. When you look deeper, you’ll find that whenever something or someone behaved as you wished, that thing or person brought heaven to you whereas whenever something or someone behaved against your wish; that thing or person brought hell to you. It means the root cause of your all the good as well bad happening to you or all the heavens and hells which come your way; lies deep within you and this root cause is called the desire element.
Going even deeper; almost every type of desire is created by your ego; as long as the primary objective of such desire is to bring some type of benefit to you; even if it is the most subtle and difficult to detect type of benefit. This further means that the root cause of most of your problems is your ego which keeps creating desires and which imposes conditions that these desires must be fulfilled.
Whenever some of these desires are fulfilled as the outside variables may be favorable for their fulfillment; heaven comes to you. On the other hand, whenever some of these desires are not fulfilled as the outside variables may go against their fulfillment; hell comes to you. Hence it is not outside variables which bring heaven or hell to you and it is your very own and personal ego; which brings heaven and hell to you.
For instance, why is it so that when this girl gets married to someone else; this marriage brings hell to you and when she gets married to you, this marriage looks heaven to you. I mean if the word called marriage or the concept of marriage in general is responsible for creating these effects; they should be the same in both these cases. If marriage is a bad thing in general; you should have faced hell when this girl agreed to get married to you. If marriage is a good thing in general; you should have felt good when she got married to someone else. Though the girl is getting married in both these cases but the impact of these marriages is felt in the opposite ways by you. Why is it so?
The answer is that in the first case, she gets married against your wish and you consider it a loss whereas in the second case, she marries in accordance with your wish and you consider it profit. So it means that all your love for this girl is a game of profit and loss in reality. If she acts according to your wish; you see profit in it and if she acts against your wish; you see loss in it. Looking at the concept of disturbance which happened in both her marriages; the disturbance in her first marriage made you happy whereas the disturbance in her second marriage made you sad.
If the concept of disturbance in marriage is bad in general; why did you feel happy when her marriage with someone else got disturbed? If this concept is good in general; why did you feel sad when the same disturbance happened in your marriage? The answer once again comes through your ego. She got married to someone else against your wish and this is why the disturbance in her marriage made you happy as you see three major benefits in it. The first benefit is that this disturbance is your way of assuring yourself that you were a better or much better option as a husband for her.
The second benefit is that if this disturbance results in a broken marriage, you have a chance to get this girl. The third benefit is that her parents may realize after her broken marriage that they made a mistake by not getting her married to you and even this girl may do so. You see, it is never about this girl or anyone else during this entire episode and it is only about you and you alone; all the time. Your lover’s marriage gets disturbed and you feel happy; her marriage fails and you feel even happier. Can this be called love? Do you really care about her happiness at all?
You certainly don’t care about anything or anyone but you; though you may not know it consciously and all this may be happening deep within you, at the level of your subconscious mind. It means that on conscious level; you may feel that you really want her to be happy and the way you see her happy is when she’s with you. Hence when her first marriage fails; you may consciously think you feel happy because now she can marry you and that will help her become happy.
If it really is the case; then why didn’t you wish her the same happiness through her first marriage? I mean why didn’t you feel bad when her first marriage was suffering and why didn’t you pray for it to work out well or why didn’t you try to do something to help her out with that marriage? This is because deep down; you didn’t want her to be happy in general; and you wanted her to be happy in your company. It means her happiness pleases you only if such happiness happens in your company and not otherwise. You see, your ego is fooling you under the guise of love and all you want in reality is to fulfill your desire.
However, this is not all and there’s more. When she gets married to you and after a couple of years; you start feeling unhappy in her company; why do you want to get out of this marriage? It means instead of choosing to end this marriage; why don’t you forget your happiness and why don’t you try your best to make her happy, since you think you love her a lot and all you care for is her happiness? Your ego may give you an excuse that no matter how hard you may try; you may never be able to make her happy and that is why you should move out of this marriage so that she may find happiness somewhere else.
However, this is only an excuse and nothing more than that. The real reason is that your desire of getting married to her has been fulfilled; you’ve tried to control her or change her the way you wanted but you failed. This failure irritates your ego as it hates nothing more than a failure. Hence the first thing you want now is to get out of this marriage since it is not working out according to your expectations. It may also be the case that the girl may be trying to control you more than you may be trying to control her and that is why you want to move out of this marriage.
Even if that is the case, the girl has not changed overnight. You’ve had a love affair with her and you know her well; even before marrying her. If you chose to get married to her even when her first marriage failed; there must be some very good things about her, which convinced you to get married to her, even though she had hurt you by getting married to someone else. Can it not be possible that you simply wanted to get married to this girl no matter what; as your ego encouraged you to fulfill your pending desire?
Kindly understand that when this girl and her parents ask you to marry her after her first marriage which failed; this joy is much bigger for your ego; compared to the joy it may have felt if her first marriage happened with you, instead of happening with someone else. This is because in that case; only the joy of your wish getting fulfilled is there for you ego. However in this case; the joy of getting married to her is accompanied by an even bigger joy and this joy comes through the shaming of this girl as well as her parents because their decision to reject you as husband for her proved wrong and they’ve come back to you, to accept their mistake. Hence this girl is not coming alone and a big victory is also coming with her.
As all this happens at the level of your subconscious mind; you may not be aware about it and all you may think is that you did the best things in each situation but you faced problems through many of those situations. If you really love this girl and there is no ego involved; you’ll want her to be happy at every stage; and you won’t look at your profits or losses; even on subconscious level.
Coming back to the point, heaven or hell doesn’t lie in things, situations or people and it lies in your interpretation of them. For instance, there were times in the beginning of human race when metals like gold or gems like diamonds were not assigned high values. Since these things otherwise don’t have any utility; people might have found them waste.