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You may consciously feel that you’re doing so due to a positive reason but in reality, your subconscious mind is using the emotions of your family members to keep you away from this conference. This is because the conference has fixed dates, it is an important conference, such events take place only once or twice every year and you gain a lot through them; whenever they happen. Hence you try your best not to miss them; but that only happens until you’re not biased.
It might have happened in the past also and you might have chosen to postpone the vacation by a week or so. Your wife might have had some plans for that week and your son might have cried for the original schedule. However, when you looked into all the things in a fair way, you might have concluded that your son’s wish and your wife’s plans were not as important as this conference was. It means your wife didn’t have things to do, which might be equal or more in importance, compared to this conference.
In fact, they might be routine things like a get together with some of her friends or a shopping schedule, which might be adjusted to later dates; without much trouble. When it came to your son, he’s not losing much as the vacation was only being delayed by a weak and it was not being cancelled. Hence he might also not have a valid reason and he might be trying to convince you, more because he didn’t have the ability to differentiate between the importance of this conference and the timelines of this vacation. Accordingly, you decided to postpone the vacation for a week or so and everything was managed without much trouble.
It should be noted that all of us may face situations where two or more important things may clash with each other, when it comes to timelines or choices. These are the times when you have to make some adjustments and these are the times which test your spiritual growth. As a general rule, you should compromise the thing which is relatively less important out of two or more things being considered and this importance has to be decided fairly. For instance, the vacation can be enjoyed after a week also; but the same choice is not available in case of conference.
Yes, it is right that family is very important but kindly understand that your profession is also very important as it is primarily because of the incomes generated through your profession that you may be able to afford such vacations to start with. Hence a proper balance needs to be reached between your professional affairs and personal affairs. Proper balance means avoiding the extremes; where your heart lies on one extreme and your intellect lies on the other. If you always choose to go with the intellect, you may end up spoiling your relationships with your loved ones whereas if you always choose to go with your heart, you may end up spoiling your profession.
Therefore, you should find a balance between these two entities so that your personal life and profession affect each other negatively, in the minimum possible manner. In the present case, the loss occurred by postponing the family vacation is much smaller compared to the loss occurred by missing this conference. In fact, you may add another day or some extra value to your family vacation when you postpone it; in order to compensate for the delay and this gesture may make this vacation even better than before. Hence this front is manageable without much loss in this case.
However, missing this conference is a permanent loss and it can’t be reversed. It means that most of the opportunities missed by staying away from this conference may be missed forever. For instance, you may have gained additional and updated information related to your profession, you may have met important people from across the globe and you may have discovered new partners or friends as you did in the past, whenever you participated. Hence the loss on this front is much bigger than the loss on family front. Accordingly, you should choose to postpone the vacation for a week or so in order to attend to this conference.
It should be noted that the family should also be given due importance or otherwise, you may once again choose to go with the intellectual extreme. For instance, if you tell your family that you may not be able to go on this vacation due to this conference and you may not go even after this conference as you have other things to do on professional front, this action may create problems. This is because you’re altogether ignoring your family for your profession and if these things keep happening; you may eventually end up losing your family. Hence postponing this vacation for a week or so is a good choice in this case whereas cancelling it or missing the conference are biased acts and hence they should be avoided.
Coming back to the point, since your heart is biased against your profession; you may choose to miss this conference for the sake of your family. It may happen in case of many other such things or events related to your profession and as it keeps happening; you may start suffering on professional front. Taking a look at one more such act; suppose you go to your clinic or hospital at about 10 AM and you come back at 8 AM, though you may take a break for an hour; to have your lunch. It means your operative hours are from 10 AM to 8 AM in general; let’s say from Monday to Saturday. As per the demand of your job; you may also have been offering urgent consultations or even urgent home visits; in cases of emergency.
As the situation changes; you may stop offering these services and doing so may affect your profession in a negative way. Once again, it may all happen naturally and you may not have conscious knowledge of this fact that it is happening as a result of the conspiracy planned by your heart and your subconscious mind. For instance, you may come home one day and you may feel more tired than usual. You may ignore it but it may start happening on daily basis and this is what may draw your conscious attention.
This problem may start bothering you more and more with the passage of time and in order to manage this stress, you may choose to disengage from offering urgent consultations during your non working hours. Yes, your heart and subconscious mind can create physical as well as mental fatigue also. In fact, a number of people having such problems may have them because they’re doing something for living, which their hearts don’t like.
If your heart doesn’t like something, your subconscious mind may oppose your efforts towards this thing. It means your conscious mind tries to do it and your subconscious mind tries to stop it. Hence there is friction between these two and this friction makes you tired relatively soon. It’s like if you choose to run against strong wind, you’ll get tired soon whereas if you choose to run with its flow, you’ll be able to cover much more distance with the same amount of effort.
Hence you may stop offering such services and this may have negative impact on your profession. Some of your regular clients may have to avail the services of other doctors in cases of urgency; and most of them may choose to stick to those doctors. This is because you’re not available for them when they need you the most, as this is what the meaning of urgency is. Hence you may lose more business and you may not even feel responsible.
This is because if you try to resume these services, your health may start going bad again; and you may have to stop these services once again. A number of other such things may affect your profession negatively. Though you may try to do your best to succeed in this profession, this effort is only your conscious effort and it may not be enough to win over the resistance offered by your heart and subconscious mind. Hence your profession may eventually go down, though you may be doing your best to make it better. You see, how much is at stake when you choose to go against your heart : )
There are two important things to note here. The first thing is that you may not have any conscious knowledge of the fact that you’re spoiling your profession intentionally as all this is happening subconsciously. The second fact is that even though your profession is going down; you may not bother deep down and on the contrary; you may have a strange type of subconscious relief when it happens.
This is because your subconscious mind knows that if this profession deteriorates to the point where it fails to generate sufficient incomes in future, you may eventually move out of it on the basis of circumstances; and that gives you the choice to engage in another profession which may be singing. It should be noted that if your profession fails on the basis of circumstances which are called bad luck in general; even your father may not force you to stick to it as you’re not able to earn much through it. Hence your heart and subconscious mind may engage in a conspiracy to destroy your medical profession and all this may happen without your conscious knowledge, so that you may remain completely free of conscious guilt of destroying your profession.
An interesting thing is that your heart and subconscious mind are taking revenge upon your father; and that too without your conscious knowledge. This is because as your profession starts going down despite your best conscious efforts to make it better; your father may start feeling guilty on the subconscious level first; and then on the conscious level even. He’s the one who compelled you to continue being a doctor even when you didn’t want to do so. Accordingly, it is he who may bear the maximum percentage of responsibility for your professional failure; first on subconscious level and then on conscious level.
This is the reason why a number of sons may fail at professions or things that they don’t want to do but their fathers want them to do. Though these sons may try their best on conscious level, in order to achieve success; they may end up failing. Since they’re doing so against the wishes of their hearts; their hearts and subconscious minds conspire against them in hidden ways. As a result, they fail and their fathers may feel subconscious or even conscious guilt of pushing them into these things or professions; depending on the exact personalities of their fathers. Though the sons may fail despite their best conscious efforts; they may feel a strange type of subconscious joy through this failure.
This joy is rising because their hearts have succeeded in getting them away from something they don’t like. It is the time to note that you simply can’t succeed in most things; as long as your heart is not willing to do them; particularly the things which need a series of actions over a period of time; like a profession or a relationship. The only exception to this rule is for the people who are highly dominated by their intellects as well as egos; as they may be able to do things for a long period of time; even if their hearts don’t like them. However, even these people may not like or enjoy their actions and they may keep engaging in such actions; more like machines or out of compulsion. This is because liking or joy comes from heart and as long as your heart is against something; you’re never going to like it.
Talking about compulsions; a powerful politician may have engaged in a number of negative acts of hurting other people in order to gain power. He may not have liked these acts and he may have even started disliking them at a point in time. However, he may get trapped in the course of events and hence he may keep engaging in such acts. It means if he gets out of politics now and he loses the authority he has, he fears that the people he troubled a lot may now trouble him a lot; once he becomes an ordinary man.
Hence he may keep working hard to maintain his authority and in order to do so; he may have to engage in even more negative acts; as such acts are compulsory to succeed in politics; most of the time. It means this politician is trapped in a vicious circle and even if he wants to get out of it now; he may not do so because of fear of getting hurt.
Your heart may not be good at making calculations like your intellect but you simply can’t afford to ignore your heart if you truly want to live. This is because even the best type of authority or the biggest amount of money can’t give you any joy or pleasure; if you ignore your heart. Feelings like joy, pleasure, satisfaction and happiness are dealt with by your heart and you simply can’t have them if you don’t pay attention to your heart. Hence isolate intellectual or intellectual ego type people may make significant material progress in their lives; but they may live as well as die unsatisfied as well as unhappy; because of ignoring their hearts.
This is why there’s a need to strike balance between your intellect and your heart because the intellect brings more resources, comfort and safety to your life whereas the heart brings life to your life. It means that in reality; you have no life without heart though you may seem to have one. In the absence of heart, you’re only like a machine which is doing one thing after the other but which is certainly not living in the truest sense. This is because a machine is serving as a tool for the others and it doesn’t know anything about itself. Likewise, people who don’t have significantly developed emotional planes may not be able to live in the deepest sense and they may only be able to operate like machines.
9 Coming back to the topic; the signs of discomfort of any type are there for you to pay attention to them on conscious level; so that certain things may be fixed at the earliest; depending on the things in question. These issues may be related to your body; they may be related to your intellect or they may be related to your heart; like in the recent example.
It should be noted that the reason your subconscious mind sends you such strong signs in case of this example is that it notifies you about the fact that your heart is not comfortable with medical profession and hence; conscious action is required. Proper conscious action in this case is to get out of this profession and start trying your luck in something you want.
Even if your father or someone else doesn’t agree; face them consciously and tell them that this is what you want and this is what you’re going to do. It may seem difficult, you may upset your father and the new profession may come with higher risks. However, this much loss is nothing compared to the loss you’re going to take if you choose to ignore these messages and let your subconscious mind deal with this matter. As you’ve already seen, your relationship with your father may go very bad in this case; you may eventually end up moving away from medical profession and you may also waste a number of important years of your life; feeling discomfort when you could have spent those years in your comfort zone.
Kindly understand that when your heart is completely into something or someone; your performance related to that thing or person improves very fast. This is because complete heart into something means complete liking; complete liking means complete focus; complete focus means all your energy being used for that job or person; which further means success at the earliest. On the other hand, your heart may keep distracting you every now and then; if you choose to engage in a job or with a person it doesn’t like or it dislikes. This is why listening to your heart can improve your chances of success, almost in every sphere of your life.
It should be noted that when it comes to relationships or enjoying life in general; you should let your heart decide most of the things related to these fields as these fields are dominated by your heart. However, when it comes to profession; the choice of profession should be made by your heart and the operations should be taken over or assisted by your intellect; depending on the type of profession you’re engaging in. For instance, you should choose to become a singer if your heart strongly motivates you to do so. However, once you become a singer; you should practice all the professional codes which singers are supposed to practice; and that comes through intellect.
It means talent primarily comes through heart and professionalism comes through intellect. Since a successful professional needs them both; he should use his heart to develop talent and he should use his intellect to build professionalism. As already mentioned many times; balance is the key for everything and spiritual growth is what brings more and more balance. This is because more spiritual growth means more conscience and more conscience means more balance.
Let’s go back to the topic which says your intellect may cramp your subconscious mind with more and more information related to various fields. More cramped your subconscious mind becomes due to the storage of more and more information on it; more is the number of thoughts it may keep sending to your conscious mind and accordingly; more difficult you may find to be at peace. This is because absolute peace is the state of mind when you have no thought at all, not about your past and not about your future. Absolute peace of mind enables you to live and enjoy in the present moment and it stops you from living in the past or in the future.
It is the time to know that as long as you’re living in present which means in the moment, your peace of mind may not be disturbed much and it may happen only when you’re either living in the past or in the future. It may seem difficult to understand as some people may think they can be disturbed a lot in the present also; it is not so in reality; when you look at this fact in its deepest sense. For example, if you face a loss of Rs. 1 million due to any reason; you may start feeling disturbed and you may find that this disturbance is happening in the present. But this is only what you may think and this is not so in reality.
The reason this loss is bothering you is because your intellect may tell you about a number of things that you may not be able to do in future in the absence of this money; and hence you feel worried or disturbed. Kindly note this worry is coming from the future; and not from the present. For instance, you may have paid for a new house in part and the remaining amount of money is supposed to be paid after a month. As soon as you face this loss, the first thing that may come to your mind is that you won’t be able to pay the remaining amount now, the deal for this house may fail or get delayed, you may even have to lose the money that you have already paid and a number of other thoughts related to this deal.
All this is happening either in the past or in the future and nothing is happening in the present. The money that you’ve already paid lies in the past. The worry that you may lose that money or even this house is based in the future and hence none of them lies in the present. Accordingly; your worries are based in the past or in the future and they’re not based in the present. Have you noticed the animals don’t worry much and the same happens in case of kids also?
The reason this happens is that none of them has intellect developed to the extent; which can help them draw so many imaginary scenes related to past as well as future. Since all they can do is to live in the present moment, their peace of mind can’t be disturbed, though they can face some physical problems in the present. However, as soon as those problems go away, they start being happy again.
For example, if you lose Rs. 1 million on a day and this amount means a lot to you; you may not be able to enjoy almost anything for one, two or even for three days; until you’ve significantly recovered from this shock. It means even when the loss becomes an event of past after three days; you keep worrying about it as you keep reliving the moment of loss in your mind.
Now imagine a baby facing any type of problem at all; like he’s badly in need of milk for the last 30 minutes and he’s crying like hell. As soon as he gets milk; he starts smiling or he stops crying. Imagine another situation where you keep telling a baby that he won’t have any milk for the coming five or ten days, from tomorrow onward. As long as this baby doesn’t develop intellect to process this information and draw future possibilities leading to worry; he’ll remain unaffected since he’s getting milk as of now and this is all that matters to him.
For instance, if in an unfortunate instance, the mother of a baby dies; you won’t find him crying at that moment or at any moment at all; except the moments he needs his mother, like for milk. It means he cries only when he faces problems in the present and he doesn’t bother about the past or the future. As soon as you start feeding this baby with a bottle of milk; his worry is gone once again because there is no problem in the present now; though he may take some time to adjust feeding from a bottle and hence he may cry because of that. The same happens in case of animals and all other species which don’t have significant amount of intellect; and they don’t worry about the past or about the future.
This is due to the reason that it is the job of the intellect to draw imaginary scenarios for future; based on the events happening in present; or even those happening in the past or future. These scenarios are happening only in your imagination and in reality, they may or may not happen in the future; and they may not have happened in the past. This is how your intellect can disturb your peace of mind by making you live in future or in past; instead of letting you live in the present.
For instance, if you’re told that you’ll be given no food for two days starting from tomorrow though you can eat as much as you want today, you’ll start living in the future at once; and hence you won’t be able to enjoy the food which you may have today, in the same way as you do in general. This is because you’re living in tomorrow when you won’t have food and hence you’re not able to enjoy the present moment which offers plenty of food. Though you may eat a lot of food today; it is not because you want to eat it; it is because you have to eat it since you’re living in the future, which offers no food.
It means you’re eating a lot of food only for your future and not for your present moment. Hence this food can’t give you pleasure and even when your stomach is absolutely filled, you may still feel worried about future; instead of feeling satisfied on account of having more than sufficient food, which should be your natural response in such a case. Your own mindset is responsible for each type of pleasure or pain you may face; and outside situations are only the media which may provide it with reasons to feel good or bad.
It should be noted that even the positive type of future or past scenarios created by your intellect can disturb your peace of mind. For instance, if you suddenly come to know that you’ve hit a jackpot for Rs. 1 billion, this amount will be given to you after two weeks and it means a lot for you; your peace of mind may be gone at once. This is because your intellect may start drawing imaginary scenarios for your future, related to what you may be able to do with this amount of money. It may take you to future where you may be purchasing a big house, starting a business, taking a world tour, buying expensive cars and doing many other such things. Though this is a good type of disturbance; it is still disturbance.
Accordingly, you may feel restless or anxious and you may once again not be able to have peace of mind. You may not be able to even sleep properly for many days in this case also; as your mental plane may simply not come to rest and it may keep drawing more and more scenarios for your future. Hence the planning for your future may keep happening continuously in your mind; as long as you’ve sorted everything out.
This may certainly help you perform certain things in a better way in future though not necessarily; it comes at a high cost. The time you should spend enjoying the present moment which is real; is spent in the future or in the past which are imaginary or so to say illusionary. Illusion is something which you see happening though it is not happening in reality. Though a big house may become real in the future because of the amount you’ve won through the jackpot; it only exists in your imagination at this time and hence it is an illusion at this time. Therefore, it may become reality after a month or two but it is certainly an illusion at this time.
This is where the approach of a spiritually advanced person differs from a spiritually less developed person. If the former wins this jackpot, he’ll enjoy the moment and he won’t bother much about the future. Once he receives this amount, he may start considering things to do one by one and he may start doing them one by one. It means he may think of buying a car; he may buy it; he may then think of buying a house and he may buy it.
However, he may not waste his time planning about this house or car for a number of days until he actually buys them; and he may decide everything on the spot which means in the present. For instance, he may simply think that he’ll buy a house and a car with this money when he receives it and that’s all. He may then stop bothering about what type of house or what type of car; and he may start enjoying the present moment in whichever way he wants. For instance, if he feels like eating a specific food item at that time; he may start doing so instead of spending this moment in future; doing all the planning.
A spiritually less developed person on the other hand may not remain at peace until he’s done each and everything he wants to do with this money. If he thinks about purchasing a house, it doesn’t stop here and this house may keep happening in his imagination until it has happened in reality. It means he may start planning what type of house, what location, how many rooms and many other things. He may even start looking at a number of houses on the internet or by visiting them personally and he may start comparing them for size, comfort, location, cost and other factors.
In the deepest sense, it may only increase the level of his anxiety as well as that of his illusions. This is because he may waste significant amount of time looking at the same houses again and again, before he actually has money. Another significant problem which may happen is that he may get attached to one or two of these houses which means he may truly want to buy them. If he’s not able to buy one such house for any reason later on; like the house may already have been sold by the time he approaches the owner after receiving the prize money, disappointment is bound to come. Though he may buy another house, the regret of not being able to buy that particular house may remain there for a long period of time and it may disturb his peace of mind.
Another thing which may happen is that as he keeps looking at more and more houses on the internet or through personal visits; he may find most of them lacking one thing or the other which another house has. It means he may like a house very much when it comes to the space it has or the design it has; but he may not like its location. He may like the location of another house but he may not like the way it is built or the size it has. This may happen in case of many other attributes related to various houses and hence he may end up confused and restless, after looking at more and more houses.
This is because his intellect may start creating an imaginary house which has the location of one house he likes; the size of another house he likes; the comfort of yet another house he likes and so on. Hence his intellect may create an illusionary house which is the mixture of such attributes from these different houses; which he likes the most about them. In simple words, his intellect may create an illusionary picture of a perfect house in future and this illusion may end up disturbing him as it may very likely not happen in reality.
Himanshu Shangari