You get attracted to other women from time to time but you try to suppress this interest as it may prove harmful for your marriage. You have a female friend or colleague who’s genuinely a friend and nothing else but you hide her from your wife as you know she’ll make it an issue. You’ve had an interaction with a female today; you liked her, you wish to hide it from your wife; and on your way back home; you buy something for you wife; that she likes. You feel like inviting your neighbor for a cup of coffee as you like him as a person; but you avoid doing so as your wife dislikes his wife and hence she wants you to stay away from this neighbor.

You choose to move away from some of your relatives or friends because your wife doesn’t like them and she keeps pushing you to move away from them. You hate it when her mother interferes in your marriage every now and then; but you keep quiet as you’re afraid that raising your opinion may spoil your marriage. Five years after your marriage; you don’t feel like you should continue this marriage and you rather feel like ending this marriage as you’re tired of the conditions you have to go through in order to keep this marriage; but you choose to continue in order to maintain your image or due to some type of greed or fear based in the future.

You often have this feeling that you don’t love your wife and you should walk out of this marriage but then you suppress this feeling by giving yourself a number of reasons. You may think that your wife is relatively better since most of your friends tell you that their wives are even more troublesome. One such friend of yours got divorced and remarried; but his second wife is even more troublesome than his first wife and that creates fear inside you. You think the same may happen to you also and hence; you choose to continue with your marriage; even if it is troublesome.

She troubles your mother a lot without valid reasons as her intentions are to make her stay away from you, so that she may control you more. You realize her intentions and you feel like speaking out but you keep quiet due to the reason that doing so may harm your marriage. There are a number of other conditions you may put on yourself; and they all mean that your love is corrupted. This is because you’re doing all these things due to reasons rising from fear or greed based in future and you’re not doing them due to the feelings of love you have for your wife. Since fear and greed rise from the ego; your love is corrupted and it is not pure.

If your heart doesn’t have positive feelings for your wife and this relationship is surviving because of positive thoughts you have for her or for your future; it is not a union and it is a contract. As already explained; positive thoughts mean the reasons given by your intellect and the moment your intellect decides the future of a relationship; it becomes a contract.

Since your intellect can change the nature of this contract anytime or it may end this contract anytime; it can’t be called a union. Hence your marriage is dead from the beginning in the deepest sense; and what you have under the guise of marriage is a business contract of personal nature. Accordingly; the true reason you’re making such compromises or you’re putting such conditions on yourself is that you’re either not getting a more profitable contract or you’re afraid of the losses that this contract may bring to you upon termination. Hence you’re imposing such conditions on yourself; due to fear or greed based in future; which means your love is corrupted and it is not pure.

Your heart knows well in advance that this marriage is dead and that is why it discourages you from continuing it. If you choose to listen to your heart and you get out of this marriage; you’re going to get out with minimum possible losses at this time. However, if you choose to listen to your intellect and ego instead; and you decide to continue this marriage by putting conditions on yourself or even on your wife; you’re going to create a lot more negativity which may restrict your spiritual growth as well as her spiritual growth.

This is because spiritual growth means peace of mind and the last thing you’ll have in this case is peace of mind. For instance; when you choose to buy expensive jewellery for her despite not feeling like doing so; this is an act of assertion and it will disturb your inner harmony. Deep down; you don’t want to buy this jewellery for her but you ignore this voice and you purchase it. When that happens; your inner peace is disturbed.

This happens because your subconscious mind is asking you to stay away from this practice; under the influence of your heart which is not at all interested in your wife or in this marriage. However, your intellect and ego influence your conscious mind and they tell it to buy such jewellery; due to reasons based on fear or greed.

Hence you go ahead and buy this piece of jewellery for your wife; against the wish of your heart and subconscious mind. When you do so; a grudge may be formed. This is a specific type of grudge which gives birth to expectations of specific type. Since you’re going out of way to do things for your wife, you start expecting her to do a lot for you in return. Since you’re making so many compromises for her, you expect her to make many compromises for you.

As a result, you start imposing more conditions/expectations on her, though they may be subconscious. Such expectations may trouble her and she may feel uncomfortable. If she fulfils most of your expectations, the relationship may continue with problems. If she doesn’t come up to most of your expectations, you may get restless. As a result, the grudges you have inside may start getting out. Hence the relationship may deteriorate and it may either drag on like this or it may break.

It means whether you put conditions on your wife or on you, such conditions can only spoil the relationship in the long run. It also means that this relationship is based on ego or intellect since heart and conscience don’t know the language of conditions. Hence more is the number of conditions you put on your lover/wife or on yourself, less is the percentage of purity in your love. On the other hand, less is the number of conditions you put on your lover/wife or on yourself, more is the percentage of purity in your love.

When you love your wife purely, there are no conditions and love alone is sufficient. It is only when you lack love that you need other things to fill its place. As long as love is there, nothing else is required. In the deepest sense, pure love is always one sided. It means even if you expect nothing from your lover but love in return for love, your love is corrupted, though this is weakest type of corruption. If you’ve reached this stage, it means that you’ve travelled a lot on the path of spiritual growth and your destination is not far away.

To expect love alone in return for love is the last condition and once you’re free from it, you enter the domain of pure love. This is the time when your love for someone is not dependent on reciprocation. You feel like loving someone, you love him and that’s all. You’re wise enough to understand that you’re going with your feeling and likewise, the one you love has the right to go with his feeling. It means if he loves you back, you’re fine and even if he doesn’t, you’re fine too. Your love is one way in this case and it is not dependent on results. Though the other person may return it with love but that is none of your business.

It means you’re engaging in Nishkaam karma of love. You put all your focus on loving someone and you draw all the pleasure from the act of love itself. Hence you don’t feel the need to focus on results since you’re there to love and not for the results. When you reach this stage, even your lover can’t make you stop loving him/her. This is because your love is not dependent on his/her actions and it is only dependent on your feelings which are pure as they’re coming from your uncorrupted heart. Hence you keep loving him/her regardless of the results.

This is the way God loves us all. He loves us despite all our positive and negative traits. That is why he loves the sinner as well as he loves the saint. This is because true love always comes without judgment. You can only judge your lover if your love is corrupted and not otherwise. God loves us as souls and he knows soul can’t be corrupted and it is unchangeable.

Whatever is changeable is immaterial for him. In the deepest sense, the soul of the biggest sinner is as pure as the soul of the biggest saint; since both of them are absolutely pure. They have never been corrupted and they can never be corrupted. The corruption occurs on the level of mind and God’s not interested in our minds. The mind is changeable and it goes through so much good and bad. He keeps loving our souls and he doesn’t care for our minds as well as karmas generated through interplay of various entities within our minds.

It is like you love your wife a lot and she develops a serious illness. Since you don’t love her body and you love her higher being, such corruption in her body may not make you love her less. Likewise, when you love someone as a soul, the corruption in his/her mind can’t make you love him/her less.

In the deepest sense, when you achieve liberation, God doesn’t come to you or finds you and you find him. To be precise, you become him as you conscience merges into the universal conscience, like a drop merges in the ocean. Though the drop loses its identity, it becomes the ocean. Hence you can’t tell the drop apart from the ocean now.

The reason God doesn’t find you is because he’s already found you. He’s with you and in you, from the beginning till the end. It is only you who realizes that he’s with you and in you, once you reach the end of the journey. It is like your eyes are closed or your vision is blocked and you can’t see anything. Once you open your eyes or the blockage is removed, you’re able to see everything. Though you may think everything has appeared just now, it was always there. It was only your inability to see and nothing else.

It is like there’s a treasure buried under your own house and you’re looking for it everywhere. When you find it, you’ll realize that you always had it. Hence the treasure has not come to you since it was always there with you. You have reached it and to be precise, you’ve realized that you already have it. Likewise, you always have a part of him in you and you always will. It is only a matter of realizing that you already have it, and nothing else.

Hence the journey of liberation is not that of finding anything and it is a journey of realization. Though you may begin it as a mission to find God; by the time you complete it, you’re blessed with this realization that whatever you’re looking for is already there. Hence nothing else but this realization comes and it changes everything.

 
The same applies to all other fields or so to say; in case of all other types of desires. Kindly understand that the root cause of each one of these desires lies within you and the world outside is only providing media to connect to that root cause. As long as the root cause is there; it’ll keep attracting media; in practical or in imagination. Hence there’s no point in running away from media. As soon as you kill the root cause which means you get rid of a desire; the media outside doesn’t bother you since the thing which connected to such media from inside you is not there any longer.

If you have some metal on your body; each and every metal detector may beep when it gets closer. As soon as this metal goes away from your body; the metal detector stops beeping. You may only think that the metal detector is interested in you but in reality; it is interested in the piece of metal that you have on your body. Likewise; you hear beeps on seeing women; only until the desire to mate with them for pleasure is there within you. As soon as this desire goes away; these beeps will stop. It is your desire to mate with women which is causing these beeps and it is not the women who’re doing so. Once this desire leaves you; you can have as many women around you as you want; and you won’t hear any beeps.

Coming back to the conditions which you apply on your wife; when you tell her that she’s a loyal wife and you can’t even imagine her thinking about anyone else; you’re trying to trap her into an image; though even you may not know it consciously.

Through repetition of this act; you’re trying to register a pattern on her subconscious mind where this pattern says she’s a particular type of person; which she may not be in reality. It means you’re trying to feed it to her subconscious mind that she should remain loyal to you and she shouldn’t even think about another man. If this feeling is first born from within her; such feeling is natural and this is how it should be.

However, you’re the one who’s sending this thought again and again to her subconscious mind that she’s so loyal to you and that she shouldn’t even think about another man. It means you’re conditioning or programming her subconscious mind in a specific way which benefits you. Hence her subconscious mind may send voices to resist her effort; next time she gets attracted to a man. Though she may think these voices are natural as they’re coming from deep down; they’re unnatural in this case. It should be noted that though the voices rising from your subconscious mind are natural in many cases; they can be unnatural also; at times.

If you’re married; your husband has told you things which have already been mentioned; you get attracted to a man other than him and voices from within you try to stop you; this is how you should know whether they’re natural or unnatural. Though your subconscious mind, intellect and ego can be programmed; your heart can’t be programmed. Hence your husband may program your subconscious mind to send you thoughts which tell you to be loyal to him; he simply can’t program your feelings.

Therefore if you get attracted to another man and the voices which try to stop you from proceeding come with reasons; they’re thoughts and hence they’re unnatural. An interesting thing is that if such voices have reasons; which means thoughts try to stop you; it means that your heart may already like this man. This is because if your heart is not interested in this man; feelings will stop you and since feelings rise before thoughts; your subconscious mind won’t need to send you thoughts. This is because thoughts are sent only when feelings fail to do a job; in the matters related to heart.

Hence it means that your heart may be interested in this man or it may be neutral. If it is neutral; you’ll have another set of voices with reasons; and these voices will explain to you why you should try to interact with this man in question. If you get any reasons; it means your heart is neither interested in your husband nor in this man; and both these people are being handled by your intellect or by your ego.

However if feelings come in support of this man and thoughts come in support of your husband from deep down; it means your heart is telling you to interact with this man and your intellect is telling you to stay away from him; due to a number of reasons depending on the variables in question. If this is the case and your heart is making you interested in this man; this fact leads us to another fact.

This fact says that you don’t love your husband through your heart though you may convince yourself through reasons that you do. As you understand; reasons are given by your intellect which doesn’t know a thing about love. Hence it means in this case; the thoughts coming from deep within are unnatural and they’re the resultants of the programming carried out by your husband. On the other hand; the feelings for this man are natural as feelings can’t be programmed by other people.

Let’s now change the focus and let’s deal with this example from the angle when you’re the husband in this case; which is the original angle for this example. You see, you’re trying to stop her from liking anyone else when no one should control who she likes. Through this programming; you’re trying to make her feel guilty; whenever she feels like doing certain things which go against your wishes. It means you’re trying to restrict; even her freedom to like someone; which is the most natural thing that happens to all of us. This is why this condition imposed by you on her is subtle but big.

Why are you afraid that she may like someone else and she may leave you for him? If you love her truly and all you want is for her to be happy; you should feel satisfied when she finds happiness in the company of another man. The reason you’re afraid is that her happiness is not primary for you and it is your happiness which is primary. If she leaves you; she may still be happy but you’ll become unhappy and that’s what is bothering you. Since your primary focus is on your happiness and you want this happiness even at the cost of killing her happiness; your love is corrupted by your ego.

Likewise when you force her that she should discontinue her friendship with a specific friend of hers who keeps upsetting her from time to time; it’s a subtle condition. It may look so that you intend to wish well for her and you have no selfish motives behind this act; it is not so in reality. If you don’t intend to put a condition; you should simply offer your advice and whether she pays attention to it or not; should not bother you.

However, if you try to convince her time and again; and you get upset when she doesn’t listen to you on this issue; you’re trying to force a condition on her and your love is corrupted. You may even taunt her when she doesn’t listen to you and her friend troubles her again. It means you may tell her that since she didn’t listen to your advice; she’s going through all this pain.

You may not realize consciously but you’re not concerned about her loss and you’re concerned about your losses; which may be of many types; depending on a number of variables. For instance, each time she gets upset due to this friend; she narrates the whole incident to you and though you don’t want to listen to it; you have to listen to it. This makes you uncomfortable and the subconscious need to make her move away from this friend rises within you; since you find her friend responsible for this trouble.

It also happened once or twice that you had good mood and you had some plans for the night but just then her friend called; your wife got upset and all your plans were washed away by her bad mood. Though you wished to engage in physical act with her but your intellect stopped you from doing so as you’d look selfish and in addition to that; she could have rejected your proposal straight away.

Since your wish was not fulfilled and you saw her friend as the root cause of this problem as well as many other problems from time to time; you built subconscious enmity for her friend. That is why you try to force her to move away from her friend. Whether such friend is good for her or bad is not the scope of this discussion and the scope is your intention behind forcing her to move away from this friend. Since your intention is selfish once again as you feel that this friend causes you discomfort through your wife; your love is corrupted.

It may be the case that this friend has done a lot for her and she may in fact be a very loyal friend with a couple of bad habits which most of us have. Apart from that, she may be going through a bad phase. This is why your wife may still wish to continue this friendship as she knows that the occasional setbacks caused by her friend are nothing compared to the value she brings to this friendship. If such is the case; you’re trying to snatch a very good friend from your wife; merely in order to avoid facing small discomforts.

Looking at the third type of conditions which you may impose on yourself; you may do a number of things for your wife or even for your marriage; when you don’t feel like doing them and you instead do them due to reasons. As you know by now; things you do for reasons rise from the intellect and when you do something for the ones you really love, your acts of love for them should not be inspired by reasons and they should rather be inspired by feelings which come from your heart.

Looking at some of these acts; your wife may ask you to go for morning walk with her on daily basis, you hate doing so but you don’t refuse her and you choose to go unwillingly; since you don’t want to upset her. You buy her expensive jewellery from time to time; not because you want to do so; but because you know that if you don’t do so; she may start telling you that you love her less now. You take her to dinners and vacations; not because you feel like doing so; but because you think you should do so.

You feel choked in this marriage and at times; you feel like you should spend some time alone or with friends; like going to a trip with your friends for some days; but you think she may get angry if you do so; and you don’t do it. You feel like providing financial help to a friend when he needs it but you know your wife may raise a serious argument and hence you avoid doing so in order to avoid troubles. You don’t want to invest money in a business venture with her friend’s husband but you push yourself to do so unwillingly as your wife may get offended otherwise.

 
Coming back to your present life; this is your best chance to fix this problem since you wish to achieve spiritual growth and your conscious mind is already strong. Hence the only thing you need is correct approach and sufficient effort.

Therefore; you should try to achieve more and more spiritual growth which means you should start giving even more strength to your conscious mind and at the same time; you should let this desire express itself naturally unless it is handled by your conscious mind; in the most natural way. It means you should keep mating with women; unless your conscious mind is able to first reduce the quantum of this desire and then kill it finally.

If you choose this path and even then you’re not able to achieve sufficient spiritual growth in this life to kill this desire completely; though you succeed in reducing it a lot; you have an advantage in your next life. In the first case; this desire may start from being as strong as 100 units of energy and through your acts of suppression; it may become as strong as 150 units of energy till the time of your death.

However in the present case; this desire may start from being as strong as 100 units of energy and it may remain only as strong as 30 units of energy or even less; at the time of your death. This happens because of three factors. The first factor is that you’ve not suppressed it and hence it doesn’t gain additional 50 units due to suppression. The second factor is that you’ve achieved more spiritual growth and this growth may reduce it by 50 units or so and hence this desire remains only 50 units strong.

The third and often ignored factor is that through natural expressions; this desire may also reduce by 20 units or so. It means each time you choose to mate with a woman when this desire rises from within; instead of suppressing it; you’re releasing some of the energy contained by this desire. All these three factors may help you get rid of this desire and that is why you may have an advantage in your next life.

In the first case; you are likely to face this desire with the strength of 150 units of energy right from your birth when your conscious mind may not be able to offer sufficient resistance to this desire; till your age of 25 or 30. However in this case; you’re born with this desire having a strength of 30 units which is far easy to deal with. Hence it may not trouble you much and you may start feeling the urge to express this desire; only after your age of 18 or more; depending on a number of variables.

Another thing which is happening is that your habit or desire to work for more and more spiritual growth in your present life will end up being your primary desire at the time of your death. This is because your desire to mate with women is being fulfilled as much as it can be; which means you’re expressing it whenever it appears. However when it comes to spiritual growth; your desire is not fulfilled to the extent you want which is the ultimate spiritual growth; because if that happens; you don’t have next birth.

Hence achieving more and more spiritual growth may become your primary desire in next life and mating with women may rank much below it. It means that till the time your conscious mind gains strength through age in your next life; your subconscious mind will handle the fulfillment of this desire of achieving spiritual growth; since the practice of engaging in mediation has been registered as a pattern or habit on your subconscious mind; through your past life.

When that happens; the situation is the opposite of that in the first case. In the first case; your subconscious mind makes you interested in women from an early age whereas in this case; your subconscious mind makes you interested in the ways which can promote spiritual growth; from an early age. Though your subconscious mind is making you do different things in both these cases; in reality; it is only doing what you told it to do in your present life; through your karmas. You see; each and everything ultimately depends on your own desires and karmas.

Since spiritual growth simply means more conscience and more conscience means stronger conscious mind; your conscience as well as conscious mind may start gaining strength at an early age. This is a beautiful situation to have when your subconscious mind will help your conscious mind gain more strength in your next life; as the former will be trying to achieve more and more conscience; acting on your conscious desire from present life.

This is when you’ll become naturally spiritual and this is the life which may kill the desire to mate with women permanently. The term ‘naturally spiritual’ means that even the job of achieving more spiritual growth is being handled by your subconscious mind; when this job is primarily the job of your conscious mind. Once again; it is your heaven and your hell; since you’re the maker of each one of them; in the deepest sense.

It should be noted that once you get rid of the desire to mate with women; it doesn’t mean you’ll start disliking them or you can’t mate with them at all. Getting rid of this desire means that this desire can’t control you now and you can control it. It means you may get married and you may engage in physical acts with your wife; primarily in order to have children or at times for her happiness also. However, you’ll not get attached to these acts now, and you’ll watch them from a distance; even while engaging in them.

It means your body will do them and your mind will watch your body do them from a distance. Since the corruption as well as purity has nothing to do with body, though some people believe so; and it has everything to do with the mind; you’re engaging in such acts and you’re still pure; even while engaging in them. This is the most beautiful stage you may reach and it is only at this stage that you may actually make love to your wife; in the deepest sense. As already mentioned; the best type of love is soul deep and since you’ve risen above the body of woman; only now you can touch her soul.

Earlier when you engaged in such acts; your desire for satisfaction through the bodies of women was controlling you. Now when you’re doing so; you’re either doing so to bring a new life to this earth or you’re doing so to please your wife since she has not reached the stage that you’ve reached. It means that earlier; you were doing it for yourself and now; you’re doing it for the others. You see, though you may still be engaging in such acts; you’re controlling these acts and they’re not controlling you.

It should be noted that when you reach such stage and you engage in one such act to have children; it’s not because you want to have children in order to fulfil some wishes through them. You do so because you know that in order for the human race to continue; you may also need to be the medium to bring one or more than one life into existence; just like someone brought you to life.

Comparing it to the act of an average person; his primary focus is on getting pleasure; even when he’s engaging in that specific physical act with his wife; which will be responsible for bringing a new life to this earth. Technically it means that the primary desire of this husband is to have pleasure for him and the child happens as a secondary desire; since he may also have the desire to have a child. This is why this person may never be able to love his child purely since he has planted the seed of this child while trying to have physical pleasure for himself, and he has not planted this seed with selfless love for his wife or with selfless desire to bring a new life into existence.

Hence all he may expect from this child in the deepest sense is material pleasure because this is what he was absorbed in when the seed for this child was planted. Looking at this child; say a son; it is difficult for a spiritual soul to come to one such person because when the seed is planted through physical pleasure; spiritual fruits are hard to come by. You see; how deeply each and every act of yours affects each and everything around you.

When it comes to the spiritual person; since he’s risen above physical pleasure that can be obtained from a woman’s body; he’s engaging in this act with the primary intention to welcome a new life to this earth and with the secondary desire to offer selfless love to his wife. Since one of his desires deals with giving pure love and another one is in tune with universal will; a spiritually advanced soul is likely to be born.

This is because when the seed is planted in the atmosphere of selfless love and universal wellbeing, and this person doesn’t want anything at all for him; this tree is likely to give the fruits of love and universal wellbeing. It means a spiritual son may be born and he may spread the message of love and universal wellbeing. This is why some saints from time to time have got married and they’ve even had children; but they still didn’t have the desire to mate with women.

Once again; it is the intention behind a karma which decides its nature and it is not the karma. An average person is doing so; controlled by his desire to have physical pleasure and hence he’s not above this desire. A saint is doing so with the intention of bringing a new life to earth or giving selfless love to someone. Since his intention is to give love or to participate in universal theme by engaging in effort to ensure the continuance of human race; his karma of engaging in physical act is of the purest type.

Hence even if he engages in such acts; he’s above this desire and his mind remains pure and uncorrupted by such acts. Though a lotus grows and lives in the mud; it still remains untouched by it. Kindly understand that if you can stay unaffected or pure; even when all around you is trying to corrupt you; only then you’ve achieved the highest peak of spiritualism.

Running away from your wife in order to achieve spiritual growth; primarily because you’re distracted by her body means that you’re trying to deal with a medium and not with the root cause. Wherever you go; there’ll be women and you’ll feel troubled by them; just like you felt troubled by your wife; though she has not done anything to seduce you and it is all within you. Even if you choose to stay away from all women; they’ll keep haunting your mind until you get rid of the desire to draw pleasure from their bodies.

As long as this desire is there; you simply can’t run away from women since your mind will always be with you and it’ll keep creating them in your dreams and illusions; even when you choose to see no woman in reality. As soon as this desire is gone; you don’t need to run away because no woman can trouble you now. You see; in the first case; running away from women doesn’t mean anything and even in the second case; running away from them doesn’t mean anything : )

 
In reality; women are not the root cause of his problem and they’re only the media. It is not the women who’re creating this problem and it is his desire to mate with these women which is creating this problem. If you’re suffering from the problem of having pimples and you come to know that eating oily items increases this problem; you may choose to stay away from oily items. This way your problem may reduce though it may not go away. However, this practice comes with disadvantages.

You’re not treating the root cause of your problem and you’re instead choosing to stay away from circumstances which aggravate this problem. Hence this solution is not permanent. In addition to that; you may either develop strong dislike for oily items or you may develop strong liking for these items; depending on your personality type. This is because if you can’t have something; you may either end up liking it a lot or hating it a lot; depending on your personality type. We’ll discuss more about this, later on.

Hence if you keep engaging in such practices; you’ll keep having this allergy until you die. Accordingly; the correct way of dealing with it is to fix it from the root. When it comes to the body; any physical problem is gone with the body since it belongs to the body and when the body goes; which means you die; the problem also goes. However when it comes to the problems which belong to your subconscious mind; they never go away until you fix them; since you never get rid of your subconscious mind; throughout the journey of your soul.

It means though you keep changing bodies; you keep having the same subconscious mind. Hence the problems related to the body you have in this life may not be there in next life as you will have a different body in next life. However, the problems related to your subconscious mind may never go away on their own; no matter how many times you’re born; since you will have the same subconscious mind in each and every life of yours.

Since the desire to mate with more and more women in reality is the desire stored on your subconscious mind; though it may be temporarily fulfilled through your body; this desire is going to be there in each one of your lives; unless you get rid of it by some method. Hence if you keep suppressing this desire; you may not only end up suffering in this life; this desire may become one of your primary desires in the very next life; due to the fact that you’ve been suppressing it.

Since there is an equal and opposite reaction to every action; your act of suppressing this desire in this life can make it become a very dominant desire in the next life. It is like the hard surface of earth keeps stopping the lava inside it from coming out. This lava is suppressed continuously; pressure keeps building and a moment comes when the hard surface of earth is simply not able to suppress it any longer; and this lava bursts out in the form of a volcano.

The hard surface of earth in this example refers to your conscious mind whereas the lava is contained by your subconscious mind; deep within your existence. Since your conscious mind starts gaining strength after a specific age in each life and before that age; it is not strong; this lava may get out before that age. In general; the conscious mind starts gaining significant strength after the age of 15 and it is weak before that in most cases.

It means that in your next life; the conscious mind you’re going to have may not be able to oppose this desire in a strong way before you reach the age of 20 or 25; since your conscious mind may take 5 to 10 years to become significantly strong; once it starts gaining strength at your age of 15. Kindly note that the reason you may have been able to suppress this desire till the end of your present life if you choose to do so; is because your conscious mind has gained a lot of strength; due to the age factor. As a rule; your conscious mind keeps gaining more strength after your age of 15; unless you engage in practices which hinder its growth; like alcohol; drugs and a number of other things. We’ll discuss more about this topic; later on.

Therefore, if the desire to mate with women contains 100 units of energy; it may be the case that your conscious mind is able to generate more than 100 units of energy in this life; in order to resist this desire. Though you may suppress it due to this factor; two things are playing against your conscious mind. The first is the fact that as you keep suppressing it; your subconscious mind may keep assigning more energy to this desire. Hence as you keep suppressing this desire; you may start finding it more and more difficult to suppress it with the passage of time.

This is because your conscious mind may not gain more strength and hence it may find it difficult to keep this desire under control. Even then, you may be able to keep this desire under control for the rest of your life since your body may not support the fulfillment of this desire after a specific age; though you may never have peace within you. This is because your subconscious and conscious mind keep fighting over this issue and hence you may never witness inner harmony called peace.

The second and even more troublesome factor is that in your next life; the desire to mate with a number of women will remain the same strong as it is at the end of this life since this desire is being dealt with by your subconscious mind which will have the exact same strength at the time of your birth in next life; that it has at the time of your death in this life. Technically it means that till the age of 20, 25 or 30; your conscious mind may not gain the same strength whereas your subconscious mind will have the same strength right from your first moment in next life.

As a result, your conscious mind may not be able to suppress this desire till the age of 25 or so in your next life. It means that whenever your body is capable of supporting the fulfillment of this desire like at the age of 15 or so; you may naturally start fulfilling this desire. Hence you may start mating with females from an early age and by the time your conscious mind grows enough strength to suppress this desire once again; significant damage may have been done to your plans of achieving spiritual growth in this life.

This is because through repetition; your subconscious mind may develop a habit of mating with women and hence; you may now have to undo this habit. The rest of your life may once again be spent in suppressing this desire. You may be able to do so once your conscious mind gains strength; but the problem is not fixed once again. The same process may keep repeating and you may never get out of this desire; until you choose the correct method to fix this problem.

 
In fact, this is one of the best ways to condition someone and that is why clever people use it a lot often. A common person may find it relatively easy to do crazy things in public though such things may not be troublesome for other people and they may simply be crazy. However, a judge or an officer of high rank may not be able to do so; even if he wants to. This is because a common man is not trapped in the illusion of a big image whereas the judge is. It means even if the judge wants to do so; he may not do it due to the fear that his image will be spoiled and people will start respecting him less.

The same applies to the religious gurus who may want to engage in material things at times; but they stay away from doing so; since they fear that their public images will be spoiled. In reality; this is why they’re given so much respect by people so that they may not be able to do material things defined as immoral; even if they want to; since the stakes are high. It should be noted that such things may be defined as immoral by a number of people though they may not be immoral in reality. However, this practice only ends up creating more problems because the fear of spoiling a good image rises from ego and hence he’s not going to benefit in the long run.

It should be noted that if this spiritual guru wants to do certain things which are considered immoral but he doesn’t do them due to fear of his image being spoiled; he’s certainly going to end up doing them. Based on his personality type; he may do such things in the hidden or he may postpone these things for next life; if he chooses to stay away from them under compulsion. In both these cases; such things will anyways be done and hence; there is no point in delaying them due to fear or greed.

Kindly understand that the only way to get rid of a wish whether it is positive or negative; is to reach the stage where this wish disappears naturally. This can be achieved through two methods. The first and the common method is that if you keep fulfilling a specific wish again and again; a time comes when you get rid of it since you’re satisfied and you don’t want to do it any longer. This is what happens to most of us; we create wishes; we fulfil them and then we move ahead; in order to fulfil new wishes.

The second method is the spiritual method and through this method; you keep achieving more and more spiritual growth. As that happens; you naturally tend to create fewer wishes and you get out of the already created wishes. Hence your problem is solved in the most effective way. In the first method; you may need a long period of time to fulfil a wish in the deepest sense and then move away from it. In addition to that; you keep creating new wishes and the same process keeps repeating. Hence through the first method; you’re only getting out of specific wishes and you’re not getting out of the problem of creating one wish after another.

It means through the first method; you’re dealing with the effect and you’re not dealing with the cause. As soon as a pimple appears on your skin; you try to get rid of it by applying external remedies; not caring about the source of allergy which lies within you and which creates such pimples. As you get rid of this pimple which means as a specific wish of yours is fulfilled; another pimple appears somewhere else on your body; since the source of allergy is still the same strong. It keeps happening and you keep killing pimples or desires from outside by fulfilling them; not knowing or not caring that you have to kill the source of these pimples or desires and they’ll all go away on their own.

The second method of spiritual growth deals with the root and once the root cause is fixed; you don’t have to deal with individual pimples since there are no pimples or desires now. Hence when this spiritual guru is suppressing his desires to do certain things; he’s only making the matters worse because he’s not even treating the pimples from outside like a common man; and he’s engaging in something else which may prove very harmful.

For instance; if a common man wants to mate with a woman; he may do so and through repetition; he may get this woman out of his system and hence he may be able to move away. However if a religious guru wants this woman; he may try to suppress this desire. Since the wish for this woman is there; it means he hasn’t reached that level of spiritual growth where this wish is not created to start with. Since he’s not getting rid of this wish by trying to mate with this woman if he can; even the second method of treating this pimple from outside is not available in this case and this is what makes things more difficult for him.

Instead of treating this pimple; he may try to scratch this pimple away; which means he may try to suppress his desire for this woman. As you can understand; scratching a pimple is only going to make matters worse because it may initiate an infection. Looking at this infection in case of this religious guru; though he may not mate with this woman on physical level under fear of spoiling his image; he may keep mating with this woman as well as with a number of other women in his mind.

Hence whenever a woman visits him; his mind may start mating with that woman since the desire to mate is getting stronger due to the fact that any desire you try to suppress, only becomes stronger as it tries more and more to come out and express itself. Hence your subconscious mind keeps sending it to your conscious mind; whenever the situation outside supports this desire. Hence whenever he meets or sees a woman; the desire to mate with the woman he wants or with any woman in general; gets activated and he may start mating with this woman in his mind.

As this act of mating is finished; subconscious guilt forms. This is because he’s done something which he shouldn’t have according to his moral beliefs. Hence his peace is disturbed. There are only two ways out of this guilt; he should face it or he should find a way to pacify it for the time being; where the second way will also merge into the first way at a later stage; as already discussed.

If he chooses to face it; he may quit the post of being a religious guru for the time being and he may mate with as many women as he wants and as he can. At the same time; he may start working towards achieving spiritual growth so that he may eventually get out of this trouble. As he achieves more and more spiritual growth; this desire as well as many other desires may reduce in quantum and a time may come; when this desire may leave him forever.

This is the time he may once again become a spiritual guru if he wants. Any woman may visit him now and his peace may not be disturbed; since there is no desire related to women and hence there is no disturbance on account of suppressing such desire. In this case, he’s treating the allergy from inside and during the time it takes to kill this energy; he keeps treating the pimples from outside; which is a very effective way. It means he’s achieving spiritual growth to get rid of such wishes to start with; and till the time this growth comes to him; he’s fulfilling his desire to mate with women so that they may not trouble him.

It may look strange but mating with women while trying to achieve spiritual growth may help him achieve spiritual growth at a faster pace. This is because when he mates with a woman; the desire is fulfilled for the time being. Hence he’s peaceful and he may achieve spiritual growth in the most effective way. However, if he chooses to suppress this desire till the time he achieves sufficient spiritual growth which may kill this desire; the process of achieving spiritual growth may be delayed a lot. This is because he’s not peaceful.

Even when he engages in meditation; a number of women may haunt his mind and that can make it difficult for him to focus. On the other hand, if he’s taking care of his need to mate with women; he won’t have women haunting his mind; when he tries to meditate. It is like if you’re hungry but you choose not to eat and you sit for meditation; no matter how hard you may try; the feeling of hunger which means the need of your body for food will keep distracting you. Hence the best way is to take care of the hunger first and engage in meditation only when this hunger or any other type of hunger is not disturbing you for the time being.

Yes, these needs may come back but by that time; your meditation may be over. Hence you may meditate peacefully if you don’t suppress your desires and you rather choose to fulfil them. It means unless you’re grown enough to stay away from creating such desires and getting rid of the already created desires; fulfilling them helps you achieve spiritual growth at a faster pace; compared to the pace of spiritual growth if you choose to suppress them. We’ll discuss more on this topic; later on.

Though this is the correct way; it becomes difficult to walk on this path; as long as you have significant amount of ego though it may not be high. This is because this spiritual guru has an image and the moment he quits this post and he starts mating with a number of women; he loses this image and in fact; people may assign a new image to him where this image says he’s an evil or bad person since he forsake the post of a religious guru in order to mate with women.

Hence the pressure is high and this pressure may make him choose the second method; which is the method to pacify subconscious guilt for the time being. He may do so in a number of ways; depending on his overall personality. If the corruption factor in his personality is high; he may start mating with women in hidden settings. This way; his desire of mating with women is fulfilled and even his image is saved.

However, each one of these acts leads to a different type of subconscious guilt; which is formed as he’s doing something that he himself knows and he also tells other people; is wrong for a spiritual guru to do. These acts make him a hypocrite because he’s saying one thing and he’s doing another. It means he’s making people believe that such acts are bad and they should stay away from them; whereas he’s engaging in them in reality. He may try to pacify this type of guilt also but then another type of guilt may be formed and it may keep happening. As long as he’s not treating the root cause of this problem through spiritual growth; there’s no way out of this problem.

If he has a relatively less corrupted personality; he may choose another way. He may not mate with women in the hidden and he may instead choose not to meet or even see any woman. This is because he may reach this conclusion that his problem aggravates whenever he sees a woman or he talks to her. Hence he may be of the opinion that women are the root cause of this problem and so; he may choose to not meet them or see them.

 
More a condition troubles her mind and longer is the period for which it troubles her; bigger is the condition. For instance, when you say she should wear diamond jewellery at a formal party when she doesn’t want to wear it; this condition is for a single event and it doesn’t repeat itself. It means as the party is over; she’s free from this condition though some resentment related to this act may be left within her.

When you tell her that she should not wear long skirts; though this act is a repetitive act since she faces the choice to wear skirts or not on regular basis; it may still not be a big condition; unless long skirts are her favourite style of dressing. This is because things which touch us from the outside which means on physical level are relatively small in quantum; whether such things are good or bad. On the other hand, things that touch us on deeper levels; are more important.

In addition to that; this condition may trouble her only when she wants to wear long skirts and not otherwise; which means when she’s home or she doesn’t want to wear long skirts anyway; this condition doesn’t bother her. However when it comes to force her to have one more child when she doesn’t want to have it; this is a very big condition because it is going to impact her throughout her life; at least on subconscious level.

This act may look like a single event; it is not. Whatever health issues she may have to face throughout her life due to this conception; whatever compromises she may have to make throughout her life due to this child and all other things which may affect her negatively; either directly or indirectly; as a result of the act of having this child, will trouble her a lot. For example, she may face health issues some of which may trouble her for long or throughout her life, due to this conception.

Moving on, all the compromises she may have to make in raising this child will make her hate you and curse you deep down; because you’re the cause of all her troubles. For example; if she has to take leave from her profession for about 2 years in order to have this child and to raise this child past the age of one year; this compromise may turn out to be a very big compromise. It may be the case that she may miss important professional opportunities during these two years and if that happens; she’s surely going to curse you a lot; and she’s going to dislike this child also; deep down.

For instance; she’s six months pregnant when she hears that the portal for her dream assignment at her job is open now and if she was able to take this assignment; this assignment would be hers. It may be an important project and she was promised that she’ll be given the opportunity; as and when one such project appears. It does appear and the company may notify her but she’s not in a condition to accept it. You are directly responsible for making her lose this dream opportunity and the child is indirectly responsible for the same; according to her mindset.

Hence she’ll hate you as well as this child since you two are responsible for causing so much pain to her. Accordingly; you’ve not only made her hate you; you’ve also made her have negative feelings for the child; even before it is born. No matter how hard she may try; she may never be able to love this child in a natural way since this child will always remind her of what she’s had to lose for her; if it’s a daughter. You see you’ve created problems much bigger than you can imagine; merely because of your ego which pushes you to control her.

It should be noted that this child is responsible only according to your wife’s mindset and she’s not responsible otherwise; because she doesn’t have any role to play in all of it. This means that this child didn’t ask your wife to have her and it is you who did so; and hence the child is innocent in reality. However, since the responsibilities are to be fixed by your wife; whoever becomes the cause of troubles for her; may be held responsible. In reality; the cause of her troubles is you as well as she; and the child is just a medium.

The reason the wife is also responsible for this trouble is that in the end; it is her decision to have or not have this child. Even if she agreed under compulsion from her husband; it simply means there were things bigger than this that she didn’t want to lose. For instance; she might have thought that her marriage would break if she didn’t make this compromise and when she weighed the probable trouble caused by the child verses the trouble caused by a broken marriage; she might have found that the loss caused by having a child might be less than the loss caused by a broken marriage.

Hence she might have chosen the thing which seemed less troublesome at that time. It means that deep down; she’s also dealing in profits and losses. Since she’s taken a calculated risk though under compulsion; she’s also responsible in part though not as much as her husband is. It should be noted that she always has the choice to refuse to do what she doesn’t want to do and the reason she still accepts this proposal is because of fear of loss in future; if she chooses to refuse it.

It means this decision is based on the fear lying in future and it is not based on the moment in question. Another probability is that you could have done so much for her that though she doesn’t want to have this child; she agrees to have it under compulsion; in order to payback for the good done by you to her. Even in this case, the decision to have this child is based on the gratitude or debt formed in the past and this decision is not coming from the present moment. The present moment says she doesn’t want to have this child and this is the only correct decision. Hence if your wife makes this decision based on past or future; she’s also partly responsible for her troubles.

However, since most of us will never hold ourselves responsible for most things; your wife may hold you responsible directly and the child responsible indirectly. However, this is her angle and we’re more concerned about your angle since your spiritual growth deals with you and not with other people. Coming to you; these are some of the problems she may face throughout her life due to this child she doesn’t want to have and the exact scope of these problems is vast.

Do you think if you really love her; you’ll even consider putting her into so many problems in order to get what you want? It is your ego which is making her suffer; so that you may have what you want. You see, she’s indeed a thing for you; though you may not realize it consciously. To be precise; she becomes a person for you at times when your ego is not troubling you much; and she becomes a thing for you; as soon as your ego wants something through her.

This is how most of us behave; we treat people like people at times and we treat them like things at times. During the moments when we treat them like people; the love we have for them shows, and during the moments when we treat them like things; our egos corrupt our love and we engage in selfish acts; thereby treating our loved ones like things.

It should be noted that even if she’s willing to have this child; she may face all these problems or even more. However, she may not curse you or this child because she’s paying the price to fulfil her desire and not your desire; unlike in the first case. Each person is comfortable paying the prices for his/her desires from time to time; and these are the only prices he/she should pay. Making others pay for your desires and paying for other people’s desires when you don’t want to; they’re both considered negative types of acts and hence they disturb your spiritual growth.

It is easy to understand that when you make other people pay for your desires; these are the acts of ego and hence they’re bad. However, the second clause may seem difficult to understand; so let’s look into it. If you don’t want to do something deep down; but you still do it due to reasons based in past or future; you’ll end up disturbing your inner peace or harmony. Since your inner peace is the first objective for spiritual laws; you should avoid these practices.

You may not know but sooner or later; these practices will make you hate such person and in addition to that; you may lose a number of valuable years of your spiritual journey, in making those compromises when you could have made a lot of spiritual progress. This is why extreme importance is assigned to your inner peace because in the deepest sense; you simply can’t make anyone else happy at all; unless you’re peaceful deep down.

The spiritual laws know that the unwilling compromises you’re making for your loved ones will destroy your relationships sooner or later; by creating hate inside you for them and disturbance for you; when you should have peace for you and love for them. Hence by making compromises; you’re only making things worse for you as well as for the others; and you’re doing the same when you’re pushing other people to make compromises for your wishes. You may not know it consciously; but each and every compromise they make for you; is taking them away from you on subconscious level. This is why pure love lasts forever since it is free from things called conditions or compromises.

It should be noted that if your wife’s love for you is high in purity; she may not suffer much through all the things you may do to her; in order to get done what you wish. It means though she may face all these problems; she may neither bother much nor she may hate or curse you. However, that is her point of view and we’re concerned about your point of view since you’ll complete your journey and not hers. Your love is corrupted the moment you engage in one such act which troubles her; provided you’ve engaged in such act in order to gain some type of advantage for yourself. Whether she actually suffers or not doesn’t matter at all; when it comes to your spiritual growth.

According to the spiritual laws; you’ve committed the act of killing someone the moment you’ve fired a bullet with this intention and even before that as already explained. Whether this bullet kills him or he survives; matters for the laws of this world and it doesn’t matter for spiritual laws. As already explained; it is your intention behind a karma that counts and it is not the karma or the result of that karma that counts. Since you’ve fired this bullet with the intention to kill this person; you’re guilty of killing him according to spiritual laws; and that’s it.

Looking at some subtle compromises; when you tell her that she’s a loyal wife and you can’t even imagine her thinking about anyone else; you’re trying to trap her into an image; though even you may not know it consciously. Though you’re praising her consciously; what you’re conveying deep down is that she should never cheat on you and you’re using good image as a trap. It means if she cheats on you in any way; this good image of hers will be shattered. Hence you’re trying to make her stay loyal to you; by luring her into the trap of good image. Since staying loyal to you or not is her decision and not yours; you’re applying a condition on her and it means your love is corrupted.

 
The opinion of majority related to a habit is considered as the established truth about the nature of such habit but even majority can be wrong. Hence it is not about the nature of a habit deep down; when it comes to spiritual growth; it is about whether or not you’re peaceful inside; while having this habit. This is because in the deepest sense; you can’t be peaceful inside; if you’re doing something which is actually wrong according to spiritual laws. Hence the objective of spiritual growth is your peace alone and it doesn’t deal with other people or things.

This is because once you’re fixed from inside; you simply don’t need to learn right and wrong from other people or from outside sources. The entities deep within you will tell in each case; whether doing such thing is right or wrong. If you try to do anything which your existence finds wrong; your peace will be disturbed. Likewise; if you try to do anything and you observe obvious harmony within you; spiritual laws are telling you through your conscience that this is the right thing to do; even if the whole world is telling you that it is not. The reason your conscience is always right is that it is directly connected to the universal conscience; commonly known as God; and it takes direction from that conscience in each and every case.

It means God is telling you through your conscience that a particular thing is worthy of being done or it should be done; in one such case. When that happens; you won’t care about what other people say because when God is telling you that something is right; it is right and that is the end of discussion related to the nature of this job. This is what Nishkaam karma means in the deepest sense. Your conscience will take guidance from universal conscience and whatever this guidance tells you to do through your conscience; you do it without any thoughts.

This is why a saint says again and again that whatever he’s doing; it is the wish of God; and this is why he’s always peaceful. Kindly understand that peace or no peace is not the resultant of the good or bad nature of a karma; it is the resultant of whether or not your decision to engage in such karma was right. It means if you kill someone without valid reasons; it is not the act of killing him that disturbs your peace; it is your decision to kill him for selfish reasons; which troubles you deep down. It further means that it is your intention behind killing this person which disturbs your peace of mind if you kill this person for selfish reasons.

Since the decision to kill this person was based on greed; your intention is bad and that is why your peace is disturbed. However, if your intention or decision to kill this person is a valid one; your peace is not disturbed. Taking a look at a saint; he makes no decision to start with as all the decisions come to him through universal conscience. Since he’s not responsible for taking any decisions; he doesn’t have any intentions whether good or bad. Hence he’s always peaceful whether he does something good or bad; according to the established laws or norms of society.

Since he’s not made any decision; he simply doesn’t have the need to feel affected by their good or bad outcomes; and hence he’s free from the result of karmas; which means he’s engaging in Nishkaam karmas. Suppose the launch of a nuclear missile is set up on a computer program and whenever the authorized person presses the button; the program shoots this missile. When that happens; it is not the program which is responsible for shooting this missile though it may look so on the surface; it is the authorized person who’s responsible.

Hence the computer program doesn’t need to worry whether this act is good or bad; and this issue is to be sorted by the authorized person. It means the computer program is engaging in Nishkaam karma and hence it’s free from the results of this karma. Therefore, even if this act is wrong; the authorized person will be punished and the computer program won’t be punished since it had no gain or loss in this entire act and it was acting on the wish of the authorized person.

The saint can be considered like this computer program. He doesn’t make any decision and all decisions come through the authorized person; which is universal conscience or God. Hence he remains unaffected by the results of his karmas and his peace is never disturbed. Since universal conscience is never wrong; even the question of anything wrong happening through him doesn’t rise; though some of his acts may look wrong to some people at times. When that happens; it is not because those acts are actually wrong; it is because such people are mistaken related to the nature of those acts; primarily due to their egos.

Since the saint knows he’s being directed by universal conscience; he doesn’t bother about the opinions of people and he keeps doing such things with utmost peace; even if the whole world is against him. This is why some saints have been considered troublesome at different points in time. Whenever they do something which is in accordance with the directions received from universal conscience but which is against social norms or laws of such regions; society or law condemns them or even punishes them.

It is worthy of being noted that even if one such saint is killed by the laws of that time; he’s peaceful while dying whereas the people killing him feel guilty later on. If the law orders to kill a person who’s actually a criminal; neither the judge nor the people feel guilty for this act. However, when a saint is killed or harmed; the system as well as people starts feeling guilty after engaging in this act. It is partly due to this guilt that such saints are recognized as saints after their deaths and they’re worshipped.

This means that people following them know deep down that these saints were right and they were killed or harmed without valid reasons. The reason why one such saint happily accepts to die but not to change his ways if he’s offered a choice; is that he knows his ways are in accordance with universal conscience. Hence the question of changing them doesn’t rise; since changing them means going against the universal conscience or God.

Apart from that; he’s also able to see clearly at this stage that the laws can only kill or harm his body; and the soul remains unaffected. Hence such punishment is not punishment for him in the deepest sense and that is why he’s not bothered. All he cares for is that the peace should not be disturbed within as he knows it is the only thing that matters in reality. Hence he keeps his peace and whatever price he may have to pay in order to keep it; is no price for him; since he knows the true value of peace. We’ll discuss more on this topic; later on.

For this reason; the peace within you is the primary objective of spiritual growth since this peace alone is sufficient in guiding you what is right or wrong. It means when you grow conscience beyond a point; peace or no peace related to a decision to do something is your criterion and you simply don’t need any other criterion; like the established norms of society. It means for your conscience; it’s all about being pure or good whereas for your ego; it may be about looking pure or good.

This is why you’ll always pay attention to what people think about a particular habit or act; instead of paying attention to whether this act is good or bad in reality. As already explained; your ego feeds on the value given by other people to you and accordingly; it simply can’t make decisions based on peace within you as such peace may often lead you in a direction; opposite to that indicated by the society or people around you. Therefore, if you kill someone for reasons generated by ego; you’ll never be peaceful no matter how hard you may try. On the other hand, if you kill someone for reasons generated by conscience; you’ll always be peaceful.

After knowing these facts about subconscious and conscious guilt; let’s go back to the example where you run a chemist shop and you’re facing conscious guilt since a boy has died because of your selfishness. As a result; you may start engaging in acts of kindness in order to get rid of this guilt. As you keep doing so and by the time you get rid of the conscious guilt related to your acts of selfishness; the habit of being kind may be formed on your subconscious mind; due to repetitive acts of being kind.

This is why conscious guilt is much more helpful when it comes to get rid of a negative habit; compared to subconscious guilt related to the same habit. Since all the guilt formed due to your acts of selfishness before this act has also helped you become a better person; it did contribute in making you a good person. On the same lines; if you keep engaging in crimes which are violent in nature; subconscious guilt may keep forming until you face conscious guilt.

However, when strong conscious guilt forms due to a situation; all those occurrences of subconscious guilt may join it and this collective guilt may help you move away from the life of crime. Assuming that you need a bucketful of guilt in order to feel the need to get out of the habit which forms this type of guilt; acts of subconscious guilt are adding drops to this bucket and the act of conscious guilt directly adds a jarful of guilt to this bucket; and this jarful of guilt may be all that is required to fill this bucket.

Though the bucket is said to be filled with this jarful of guilt; in reality; each and every drop contributed in filling it. This is because the drops added by subconscious guilt built a platform for the jarful of conscious guilt to fill this bucket and without those drops of subconscious guilt; even the jarful of conscious guilt may not be able to fill it.

This is how ego is self-destructive in the deepest sense. It keeps filling you with guilt through its acts of selfishness, greed and other such acts. When this guilt reaches the level which simply can’t be tolerated by you deep within; transformation happens. Though all you may do is try to get rid of this guilt but in the process; you may get rid of that part of your ego also; which is attached to the acts which cause this type of guilt. This is the reason why some very bad people or criminals may turn very good; suddenly and unexpectedly.

These people are full of subconscious guilt and when they come across the final quantity of conscious guilt which is required to take this guilt to the levels which they simply can’t tolerate; transformation happens. Technically it means that for people with average amount of conscience; more guilt means better chances of getting rid of a negative habit or a negative personality. We’ll discuss more about this topic; later on.

Coming back to the conditions which corrupt your love for this woman; through all these conditions, you’re only trying to make her do what you like, though even you may think at times that you’re doing it for her good when that is not the case deep down. More is the number of conditions; more is the control factor in your love. Bigger are the conditions; more is the control factor or ego you have. Let’s try to understand the difference between big and small conditions.

 
Looking at the second method; though your conscious mind may not gain sufficient strength in general to get rid of some negative habits; an exception may occur in case of an occasional habit due to various reasons.

It has already been explained earlier that apart from the strengths of your minds; their willingness to fight till the end or not in specific cases can change the results. Hence even if your conscious mind has the strength to produce effort equal to 40 units of energy at a time; and it is in general not able to delete habits which need 50 units of energy; an exception may happen in a particular case. In such case, you may be able to get rid of a particular habit, even if you’re generally not able to do so.

For example, you love your girlfriend a lot and she hates a particular habit of yours. Though you were not able to get rid of such habit before you fell in love with her, you may be able to do so now. This is because your conscious mind engages in an all-out effort to get rid of it, in order to not offend your girlfriend again and again. However, this is an exception and it is not a rule.

Therefore, increasing the strength of your conscious mind through spiritual growth is the permanent solution for this problem as well as for other problems like this. It should be noted that your conscious mind can gain strength through your ego also; but this practice should be avoided. Though your ego may help you get rid of some habits as it gains strength and it strengthens your conscious mind also; you can never depend on your ego as it won’t hesitate in abusing your conscious mind; whenever it finds fit.

It means though your ego can get a number of jobs done for you; including giving strength to your conscious mind; the costs may be high or very high. It should be noted that when it comes to have a strong conscious mind on long term basis; only your ego or conscience can do this job for you. It means that your conscious mind can gain strength either through your ego or through your conscience. More is your ego or conscience in quantum; stronger is likely to be your conscious mind. This is why the conscious mind of a devil can be almost as strong as that of a god; where the former is fueled by ego and the latter is fueled by conscience.

However, ego is destructive and its tendency to destroy the entities it is using becomes stronger as it gains more strength. It means that stronger your conscious mind becomes due to ego; more are the chances of your destruction at any time. Conscience on the other hand; nourishes the entities it works with; and that is why it’ll never collapse after reaching the top. It means that though both ego and conscience may take you to the top; ego will always make you fall from the top due to its destructive nature whereas conscience will always make sure that you never fall once you reach the top.

This is why you can become a devil; thousands of times during the journey of your soul; but you can become a saint; only once. As you become a devil; your ego is at the top and hence you fall down. You may again try to reach the top, you may reach it and you may fall again. This may keep happening hundreds of times; as ego is simply unable to stay at the top forever; and it has to fall to the bottom; sooner than later.

On the other hand, once your conscience makes you reach the top; which means you become a saint; there’s no way you can fall down and hence your journey ends. This is why you should work towards growing more conscience and you should try your best to reduce ego as much as you can. As your conscience grows; your conscious mind not only becomes stronger but it becomes wiser also, since it is being supervised by conscience. As your conscience gains more and more strength and as your conscious mind also becomes stronger through your conscience; all your negative habits start leaving you and good virtues start coming to you.

Another problem with growing more ego is that it may not modify the negative habits in the way they should be and it may do so in a corrupt way, since corruption is its signature. When it comes to conscience; it is worried about a negative habit that you have and it doesn’t care about anything else. It means your conscience is focused on making you a better person from inside and it wants nothing else.

However when it comes to ego; it is not interested in making you a good person though it may be interested in making you look like a good person. It means your ego will let you be a bad person; as long as your image is good. An exception may happen in cases where your ego has got attached to your bad image; in which case it may promote you to be a bad person even on public front. For example; the ego of a notorious criminal may get attached to his negative image and it may gain satisfaction when people consider him a big criminal or a bad person.

This is why ego is the most difficult to handle entity in your entire existence; as it can get attached to anything; whether positive or negative. It can make a devil feel proud that people fear him as a devil and it can make a spiritually advanced person feel proud that so many people respect him due to his high spiritual growth. The devil is sure to fall and if the spiritual person is lured by his ego which may not be high though; he’ll also fall since he simply can’t reach the top as long as he listens to his ego.

Being a good person from inside is what your conscience wants and having a profitable public image is what your ego believes in. It should be noted that if you’re a really good person deep down; you don’t need to care about your public image since your virtues will speak for you. The need to build a public image appears only when you know deep down that you’re not so good in reality. We’ve already discussed this topic earlier.

Going back to the habit of getting animals killed for meat; most people may have subconscious guilt related to this habit; provided they have this habit. This is because so much information has gone to our subconscious minds; related to the negative nature of this act that we all may believe deep down; that doing so is bad. If you’re a non-vegetarian and you want to check whether or not you’re actually fine with this habit; which means you have peace or subconscious guilt related to this habit; here is what you should do.

For the next ten times or so; buy a live chicken and kill it yourself before eating it. If you’re able to continue this practice without problems; it means you’re fine with it. If however, you find it difficult to kill a live chicken again and again though you may do so with difficulty for a couple of times; it simply means one thing. It is the fact that deep down you believe that killing animals for meat is bad but you consciously feel it is not.

If on the other hand, your subconscious mind also believes that killing animals for meat is not bad; you won’t hesitate or you won’t feel bad; while killing the chickens. This is because your conscious and subconscious mind believe in the same thing and hence you’ll be at peace while killing the chickens.

The reason you won’t be able to do so in first case is because you’ll face conscious guilt in this case; instead of facing subconscious guilt. Since conscious guilt is much more difficult to handle; you may not be able to do so and you may even end up quitting non-vegetarian food. This is because so far; you’ve convinced yourself consciously that killing animals for meat is not bad when you subconsciously believe it is. However, you can’t fool yourself now since you’re killing them right before your eyes. This is why you may not do it if you believe deep down that killing animals for meat is bad whereas you may do it easily if you believe deep down that killing animals for meat is not bad.

For instance, you consciously and subconsciously believe that cutting a potato or an onion for food is not bad; and hence you may do it peacefully. The same will happen in case of all such things which you want to eat and you feel that cutting them is not bad. Why is it so that when it comes to cut a live chicken; you’re not able to do so though you believe killing animals for meat is not bad?

This is because you’re not comfortable with this fact deep down. That is why you prefer using an already killed chicken; instead of killing it yourself. By doing so; you’re able to avoid killing chickens directly and hence the guilt is changed into subconscious guilt. However, if you don’t have this guilt in reality; you’ll be able to cut a live chicken; just like you cut a potato since you don’t have any guilt related to cutting or killing a potato.

Once again; it is not about whether this habit is good or bad; and it is about whether it is disturbing you or not. The reason you should try to kill live chickens is because this way you’ll be able to find out whether you have harmony on this issue or not. If you don’t feel bad while killing live chickens; it means your subconscious and conscious mind are harmonious on this issue and hence you have no problem inside you. However, if you feel disturbed while trying to kill chickens and you need conscious effort to do so; it means your minds are divided on this issue.

Your conscious mind says it is not bad whereas your subconscious mind says it is bad. This is why your hands may tremble and you may sweat a lot while trying to kill a chicken; since you don’t want to do it deep down. If such is the case; the only solution for having peace is that you should quit non-vegetarian food. It is just an example of one habit; and this practice may be carried out in case of many other habits; in order to check whether you’re peaceful related to them or not.

Looking at one more habit; if you consciously believe that peeing on roadside is fine and you want to check whether or not guilt is formed; which means harmony is disturbed when you do so; here is how to check it. If you’re cautious while doing so; which means you pay attention to the fact whether other people are watching you or not and you don’t do so when you’re with someone whose opinion about your overall image matters to you a lot; you’re not comfortable with this habit deep down.

For instance, if you avoid this practice when you’re with your girlfriend or boss; it means you’re not comfortable with this habit deep down; and guilt is being formed on subconscious level; each time you pee on the roadside. Here again, the objective of this discussion is not whether or not this habit is bad; the objective is to find out whether you’re peaceful with it or not. Whether a habit is good or bad depends on a number of variables and hence different people may have different opinions about it.

 
This is the piece of information which may initiate a change in this habit. It means you may now realize that your habit or act of running on hard ground is what is causing knee pain. Hence you may choose to run on soft ground as it absorbs the momentum given by your feet thumping against it to a significant extent; and hence all this momentum is not sent back to your leg as a reaction to balance out the force applied by you on this ground.

However in case of hard ground; it fails to absorb much force applied by your feet and hence it sends most of it back to your legs through your feet. When this force travels up your legs; it finds a breaking point around your knees since there is a gap between the bones at this point. Hence this force or energy gets out through this gap and the area around it gets affected by it; since this is the area which is attacked the most by this force, though the point through which this force enters is also affected.

Suppose five people are standing close to one another in a straight line, which means their bodies are aligned and they’re all facing in the same direction; like people standing in a row. Suppose you push the first person with force which is strong. As you push the first person, the impact is transferred to the second person through him, then to the third, fourth and fifth person, supposing that none of them tries to counteract the force applied by you. Assuming the force applied by you has a specific strength to create the impact which we’re going to discuss; this is what may happen.

Though you have pushed the first person; the fifth person may fall in reality and the first four people may be able to manage; given the specific strength of the force applied by you. This happens because the first person transfers this impact to the second person, the second person transfers this impact to the third person, the third person forwards it to the fourth person who forwards it to the fifth person. Since the fifth person is not able to transfer this impact to anyone, he’ll have to deal with it on his own; and hence he may fall.

It means when this happens; the fifth person may be affected the most, followed by the first person; since the force is applied through his body and hence the part of his body which receives this force may get affected. Likewise, your feet get hurt since they are the points through which the reciprocating force applied by hard ground enters your body; and the area around your knees gets hurt since it is the area through which this force gets out.

This is why joint pains are common since a number of impacts enter through different parts of the body and they get out through the nearest joints; affecting the area around these joints in a negative way. Though some parts in between may also get hurt if the force is strong, this aspect is not the scope of this discussion.

Coming back, you may stop running on hard ground once you become consciously aware that doing so is causing knee pain. It means that awareness about the nature of an act is more important than the awareness that you’re engaging in one such act; since the former helps you stay away or move away from such act; depending on whether this awareness comes to you before one such act or after one such act.

For instance, if someone becomes consciously aware of the fact that killing animals for meat is bad and he also becomes consciously aware of the fact that if he purchases meat; he becomes responsible for killing an animal though someone else may be doing this job on his behalf; before he’s ever had meat, this awareness will help him stay away from eating meet.

However, if he’s already been eating meat for a long period of time when the awareness about both these facts reaches him consciously, such awareness first helps him move away from this habit and it then helps him stay away from this habit. Hence the awareness about the nature of an act or habit is more important than the awareness of whether or not you’re engaging in such act.

To conclude, there are two important aspects related to this practice. The person who’s subconsciously aware that animals are being killed for him but he’s consciously not aware; has subconscious guilt inside him since his subconscious and conscious mind are in conflict. On the contrary; the person who is subconsciously as well as consciously aware that animals are being killed for him and at the same time; he’s subconsciously as well as consciously convinced that killing animals for meat is not bad; is at peace. This is because the harmony inside his subconscious and conscious mind is undisturbed in case of both these facts and hence there is peace. Hence the first aspect of this practice says that the person who’s harmoniously of the opinion that killing animals for meat is not bad; is at peace.

Looking at the second aspect; if killing animals for meat is bad in reality; the person having guilt may get out of this habit any time but the person having no guilt may not get out of it ever; until such guilt starts forming. This is because the first type of person is already harmonious on the fact that killing animals for meat is bad and he only needs to consciously be aware of the fact that he’s also responsible for getting a number of animals killed. It means he knows that a specific habit is bad but he doesn’t know he has it. Hence his job is relatively easy.

When it comes to the second person; he’s stuck at the first step; which means he thinks a specific habit is not bad. Hence there’s no way he’s going to get out of it because you don’t feel the need to get rid of something which is not bad. Therefore, the first person feels guilty but his chances of getting out of this practice are higher in comparison to those of the second person who’s at peace while engaging in this practice; though the same peace will stop him from getting out of it; if it is bad in reality.

When it comes to get rid of a particular negative habit; there are two ways it can be done. The first way is that with the passage of time; you achieve spiritual growth through some practices; which means your conscious mind becomes stronger. It has already been explained that spiritual growth means making your conscious mind stronger and stronger; until the ultimate point of strength is reached.

As your conscious mind gains strength; it starts deleting those negative habits of yours, which can be deleted with the quantum of strength it has at any point in time. For instance, if your subconscious mind is offering a resistance equal to 50 units of energy when it comes to change a particular habit; you are not able to change this habit since your conscious mind is not able to produce effort which is higher than 50 units of energy.

With spiritual growth; as your conscious mind reaches a new level of strength which now enables it to produce effort which is more than 50 units of energy; it’ll succeed in deleting such habit. You may not know but your conscious mind knows at every time; whether or not it has the strength to win over your subconscious mind; related to anything. Hence it avoided getting in conflict with your subconscious mind over this habit until now; since it knew it couldn’t win.

However, as it gains sufficient strength; it is confident of victory; it engages in conflict with your subconscious mind over this habit and it succeeds in deleting it. Your journey continues and as your conscious mind keeps gaining more strength, whichever negative habits are there in the knowledge of your conscious mind and such habits can be deleted with the kind of strength that your conscious mind has at a point in time; your conscious mind will delete them, modify them or even form new habits; according to the demand of the situation.

As you keep providing more strength to your conscious mind; it becomes more and more capable. Ultimately; you reach the domain called sainthood and this is the stage where your conscious mind is capable of forming, modifying or deleting any type of pattern on your subconscious mind; at the earliest. This is why nothing can corrupt you now because your conscious mind is strong enough to protect your aura from all types of corruptions.

At this stage; your conscious mind doesn’t even let any such piece of information go to your subconscious mind; which can prove harmful later on; by trying to form a habit. It means you start living life in the moment; instead of living it through the habits formed in the past. We’ll discuss more on this topic, later on.

 
However, if you’ve been eating chickens and at the same time; you’ve been thinking that you have no responsibility for the fact that they’re killed for meat; you’re a hypocrite. It means that though deep down you know that you’re responsible for getting them killed; you are refusing to accept this fact on conscious level. Hence this makes you a hypocrite and it forms subconscious guilt.

It is interesting to note that the people who accept this fact consciously that a number of chickens are killed for them; are in better positions since they’re honest. The moment they realize that killing chickens for meat is bad; they’ll get out of this habit because of the conscious awareness of the fact that they’re partly responsible for such killings. Once again, I’m not trying to convey that killing animals for meat is bad; and our objective is different. There’s a subtle difference between the mindset of these two types of people and our objective is to deal with those mindsets and not to deal with killing or not killing animals.

For instance, if a person of the first type believes that killing animals for meat is bad; he may still keep eating chickens. This is because though he’s consciously aware that it is bad to kill animals for meat; he’s consciously not aware of this fact that a number of animals are being killed for him also; which means he’s responsible for getting them killed. Since this information is being dealt with by his subconscious mind as already explained; he is of the conscious opinion that killing animals is bad; but he’s not killing any of them, which means he’s not getting any of them killed.

As a result; he’ll never be able to get out of this habit of eating meat, which in reality means that he’ll never get out of this habit of getting the animals killed since he’s consciously not aware of this habit. This difference is subtle and it should be understood well. The problem with this person is not that he’s eating meat which means some animals are being killed for him; and the problem is related to the disturbance of harmony between his conscious and subconscious mind; on account of this issue. Since there is no problem bigger than disharmony within you when it comes to spiritual growth; this person is going to suffer from guilt.

Let me refresh you that when it comes to change a negative habit; there are four steps. You first become consciously aware that this habit is bad, you then become consciously aware that you also have this habit; you then engage in effort to get rid of it and you finally get rid of it. This person is stuck at the second step as he is consciously aware that killing animals for meat is bad.

However, he’s not able to be consciously aware of the fact that he’s also responsible for getting a number of animals killed. It means that though this habit is bad, he doesn’t have it. Hence there’re no chances he’ll get rid of it until he becomes aware that he has it. This habit will keep being effective just like the watch which keeps being there without working as the battery has run out; until you become aware of this issue and fix it.

Once again, it’s not about the fact that killing animals is bad or not. It is that though killing animals for meat may or may not be bad; this person is consciously convinced that it is bad; and this is where the problem is. It means though the problem may not be there in reality, if killing animals for meat is not bad; he’s created this problem for himself. Since he’s going to live with his mind only; the creation of this problem in his mind is certainly going to trouble him.

There are two important facts which create this problem inside him and let’s look at them, in order to understand it properly. The first fact says that killing animals for meat is bad. Since both his conscious and subconscious mind agree to this fact; there is harmony on this issue and hence there is no problem related to this fact, in anyone of these minds. When it comes to the fact that he’s not getting any animals killed for meat; the situation is different.

His conscious mind is not duly aware of this fact and hence it is free of guilt. However, his subconscious mind knows that in the deepest sense; a number of animals are in fact being killed for him; which means he’s responsible for getting them killed. This is where the problem lies. His subconscious mind has two pieces of information. The first piece says that killing animals is bad and the second piece says that he’s also getting them killed.

As you know, the subconscious mind forwards all such issues to the conscious mind, which need attention. Hence this issue is also forwarded to the conscious mind. When these two pieces of information are sent to the conscious mind, it agrees to the first piece and it rejects the second piece of information. It means the conscious mind accepts that killing animals for meat is bad; but it opposes this fact that he’s responsible for getting a number of animals killed, and it does so under the influence of his ego.

Hence his conscious mind gets out of this issue since it doesn’t find a problem at all, though there is a problem in reality. It should be noted that as long as you don’t consciously deal with an issue; it’s not likely to be resolved properly, in most cases.

Suppose you’re driving a car and another person is sitting in the car. He speaks fluent French as it is his mother language whereas you understand only a little of it. Suppose the bridge about 2 km from your present location has recently fallen down; he knows it and hence he tells you to take a diversion since the bridge is broken and there’s no way you can get through it. However, you don’t know this fact and you also don’t understand what he’s telling you, though he may keep doing so.

Hence you keep driving and the moment you reach this bridge; you become aware of this problem. You look at his face and body language; and you now understand that this is what he was saying. He was trying to help you with the fact that the bridge is broken and you should not drive in this direction. Though this person knew in advance and he kept telling you; you couldn’t understand him and hence the problem persisted until you consciously faced it; which means until you actually reached this bridge. It should be noted that your problem actually started when you ignored the last road diversion which could lead you away from this road and only the conscious awareness of this problem comes to you when you reach this bridge.

Going back to the example of getting animals killed for meat; when his subconscious mind tells his conscious mind that he’s also responsible for getting a number of animals killed for meat; as it knows this fact for sure; his conscious mind rejects this information.

His subconscious mind may try to convince his conscious mind again but it may fail again. This is what the real issue is because he’s having a problem, he doesn’t know anything about it and that is why this problem is gaining strength. It means though he could have dealt with this problem when it was very weak in strength; he may have to face it when it is significantly strong. His subconscious mind will keep feeling disturbed until this problem is faced consciously.

Let’s now look into the mindset of the second type of person and let’s see what is happening there. He already knows consciously that a number of animals are being killed for him. Hence his conscious and subconscious mind agree on this point and there is no confusion; which means the harmony is not disturbed on this issue. It means that this person has completed the second step before the first step; which means he knows he has a particular habit; before he comes to know whether or not this habit is bad. The first type of person on the contrary; has completed the first step and he’s stuck on the second step. It means he’s sure that killing animals is bad but he thinks he’s not responsible for getting any animals killed.

Hence in case of the second type of person; the problem may appear; related to the second fact or so to say, the first fact in reality. The problem of this type of person may be difficult to rectify, if there is a problem to start with. It means if his conscious and subconscious mind are in harmony that killing animals for meat is not bad; he doesn’t have any problems at all; and he’s blessed. This is because his conscious and subconscious mind agree on both the facts related to this issue and hence there’s no disturbance. He’s aware that a number of animals are being killed for him and he’s also aware that this is not a bad thing. Hence there are no issues related to the peace of mind in this case.

However, if his conscious and subconscious mind have different opinions related to the second fact; problem rises in this case also. It means if deep down he feels that killing animals for meat is bad; but he keeps rejecting this fact on conscious level, he’s in trouble. In fact, most people belonging to the second type fall into this category, instead of falling into the first category. It means most people subconsciously believe that killing animals for meat is bad; though they don’t feel so consciously. This is primarily because of the reason that so much information has been spread about this fact that killing animals for meat is bad.

Since most people come across this information from time to time; it gets stored on their subconscious minds and hence deep down; they may start believing that killing animals for meat is bad; because their subconscious minds keep telling them this; based on the information they have. If that is the case; the problem with this type of people may take even more time to be rectified since they’re stuck on the first step compared to the first type of people; who’re stuck on the second step. It should be noted that the awareness about whether or not a particular act or habit is bad; is more important than the awareness about whether or not you have such habit or you’re committing such act.

This is because it’s your conscious awareness about the bad nature of a habit or act that helps you move away or stay away from such act or habit; and it is not the awareness about whether or not you’re doing so or you have this habit; which helps you move away from it. Kindly understand that having a habit or engaging in an act is a neutral piece of information and this information is not sufficient on its own to lead you to any decision related to this act. However, as soon as the information related to the advantages or disadvantages related to this habit or act comes to your knowledge; this is when things may change.

Suppose you run 5 km twice every week as a part of your exercise routine. If someone simply tells you that you run 5 km twice a week, it doesn’t mean anything since you already know it. Suppose another piece of information is attached to this fact and this piece of information says that this is why you’re suffering from pain around your knees. Let’s say this person tells you that since you run on hard ground instead of running on soft ground; your knees receive more shocks when your feet hit the ground and that is why they get hurt.