Coming back to your present life; this is your best chance to fix this problem since you wish to achieve spiritual growth and your conscious mind is already strong. Hence the only thing you need is correct approach and sufficient effort.
Therefore; you should try to achieve more and more spiritual growth which means you should start giving even more strength to your conscious mind and at the same time; you should let this desire express itself naturally unless it is handled by your conscious mind; in the most natural way. It means you should keep mating with women; unless your conscious mind is able to first reduce the quantum of this desire and then kill it finally.
If you choose this path and even then you’re not able to achieve sufficient spiritual growth in this life to kill this desire completely; though you succeed in reducing it a lot; you have an advantage in your next life. In the first case; this desire may start from being as strong as 100 units of energy and through your acts of suppression; it may become as strong as 150 units of energy till the time of your death.
However in the present case; this desire may start from being as strong as 100 units of energy and it may remain only as strong as 30 units of energy or even less; at the time of your death. This happens because of three factors. The first factor is that you’ve not suppressed it and hence it doesn’t gain additional 50 units due to suppression. The second factor is that you’ve achieved more spiritual growth and this growth may reduce it by 50 units or so and hence this desire remains only 50 units strong.
The third and often ignored factor is that through natural expressions; this desire may also reduce by 20 units or so. It means each time you choose to mate with a woman when this desire rises from within; instead of suppressing it; you’re releasing some of the energy contained by this desire. All these three factors may help you get rid of this desire and that is why you may have an advantage in your next life.
In the first case; you are likely to face this desire with the strength of 150 units of energy right from your birth when your conscious mind may not be able to offer sufficient resistance to this desire; till your age of 25 or 30. However in this case; you’re born with this desire having a strength of 30 units which is far easy to deal with. Hence it may not trouble you much and you may start feeling the urge to express this desire; only after your age of 18 or more; depending on a number of variables.
Another thing which is happening is that your habit or desire to work for more and more spiritual growth in your present life will end up being your primary desire at the time of your death. This is because your desire to mate with women is being fulfilled as much as it can be; which means you’re expressing it whenever it appears. However when it comes to spiritual growth; your desire is not fulfilled to the extent you want which is the ultimate spiritual growth; because if that happens; you don’t have next birth.
Hence achieving more and more spiritual growth may become your primary desire in next life and mating with women may rank much below it. It means that till the time your conscious mind gains strength through age in your next life; your subconscious mind will handle the fulfillment of this desire of achieving spiritual growth; since the practice of engaging in mediation has been registered as a pattern or habit on your subconscious mind; through your past life.
When that happens; the situation is the opposite of that in the first case. In the first case; your subconscious mind makes you interested in women from an early age whereas in this case; your subconscious mind makes you interested in the ways which can promote spiritual growth; from an early age. Though your subconscious mind is making you do different things in both these cases; in reality; it is only doing what you told it to do in your present life; through your karmas. You see; each and everything ultimately depends on your own desires and karmas.
Since spiritual growth simply means more conscience and more conscience means stronger conscious mind; your conscience as well as conscious mind may start gaining strength at an early age. This is a beautiful situation to have when your subconscious mind will help your conscious mind gain more strength in your next life; as the former will be trying to achieve more and more conscience; acting on your conscious desire from present life.
This is when you’ll become naturally spiritual and this is the life which may kill the desire to mate with women permanently. The term ‘naturally spiritual’ means that even the job of achieving more spiritual growth is being handled by your subconscious mind; when this job is primarily the job of your conscious mind. Once again; it is your heaven and your hell; since you’re the maker of each one of them; in the deepest sense.
It should be noted that once you get rid of the desire to mate with women; it doesn’t mean you’ll start disliking them or you can’t mate with them at all. Getting rid of this desire means that this desire can’t control you now and you can control it. It means you may get married and you may engage in physical acts with your wife; primarily in order to have children or at times for her happiness also. However, you’ll not get attached to these acts now, and you’ll watch them from a distance; even while engaging in them.
It means your body will do them and your mind will watch your body do them from a distance. Since the corruption as well as purity has nothing to do with body, though some people believe so; and it has everything to do with the mind; you’re engaging in such acts and you’re still pure; even while engaging in them. This is the most beautiful stage you may reach and it is only at this stage that you may actually make love to your wife; in the deepest sense. As already mentioned; the best type of love is soul deep and since you’ve risen above the body of woman; only now you can touch her soul.
Earlier when you engaged in such acts; your desire for satisfaction through the bodies of women was controlling you. Now when you’re doing so; you’re either doing so to bring a new life to this earth or you’re doing so to please your wife since she has not reached the stage that you’ve reached. It means that earlier; you were doing it for yourself and now; you’re doing it for the others. You see, though you may still be engaging in such acts; you’re controlling these acts and they’re not controlling you.
It should be noted that when you reach such stage and you engage in one such act to have children; it’s not because you want to have children in order to fulfil some wishes through them. You do so because you know that in order for the human race to continue; you may also need to be the medium to bring one or more than one life into existence; just like someone brought you to life.
Comparing it to the act of an average person; his primary focus is on getting pleasure; even when he’s engaging in that specific physical act with his wife; which will be responsible for bringing a new life to this earth. Technically it means that the primary desire of this husband is to have pleasure for him and the child happens as a secondary desire; since he may also have the desire to have a child. This is why this person may never be able to love his child purely since he has planted the seed of this child while trying to have physical pleasure for himself, and he has not planted this seed with selfless love for his wife or with selfless desire to bring a new life into existence.
Hence all he may expect from this child in the deepest sense is material pleasure because this is what he was absorbed in when the seed for this child was planted. Looking at this child; say a son; it is difficult for a spiritual soul to come to one such person because when the seed is planted through physical pleasure; spiritual fruits are hard to come by. You see; how deeply each and every act of yours affects each and everything around you.
When it comes to the spiritual person; since he’s risen above physical pleasure that can be obtained from a woman’s body; he’s engaging in this act with the primary intention to welcome a new life to this earth and with the secondary desire to offer selfless love to his wife. Since one of his desires deals with giving pure love and another one is in tune with universal will; a spiritually advanced soul is likely to be born.
This is because when the seed is planted in the atmosphere of selfless love and universal wellbeing, and this person doesn’t want anything at all for him; this tree is likely to give the fruits of love and universal wellbeing. It means a spiritual son may be born and he may spread the message of love and universal wellbeing. This is why some saints from time to time have got married and they’ve even had children; but they still didn’t have the desire to mate with women.
Once again; it is the intention behind a karma which decides its nature and it is not the karma. An average person is doing so; controlled by his desire to have physical pleasure and hence he’s not above this desire. A saint is doing so with the intention of bringing a new life to earth or giving selfless love to someone. Since his intention is to give love or to participate in universal theme by engaging in effort to ensure the continuance of human race; his karma of engaging in physical act is of the purest type.
Hence even if he engages in such acts; he’s above this desire and his mind remains pure and uncorrupted by such acts. Though a lotus grows and lives in the mud; it still remains untouched by it. Kindly understand that if you can stay unaffected or pure; even when all around you is trying to corrupt you; only then you’ve achieved the highest peak of spiritualism.
Running away from your wife in order to achieve spiritual growth; primarily because you’re distracted by her body means that you’re trying to deal with a medium and not with the root cause. Wherever you go; there’ll be women and you’ll feel troubled by them; just like you felt troubled by your wife; though she has not done anything to seduce you and it is all within you. Even if you choose to stay away from all women; they’ll keep haunting your mind until you get rid of the desire to draw pleasure from their bodies.
As long as this desire is there; you simply can’t run away from women since your mind will always be with you and it’ll keep creating them in your dreams and illusions; even when you choose to see no woman in reality. As soon as this desire is gone; you don’t need to run away because no woman can trouble you now. You see; in the first case; running away from women doesn’t mean anything and even in the second case; running away from them doesn’t mean anything : )