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Moving on with other specific activities, start engaging in more and more such activities which are small but at the same time, which are capable of giving you happiness and satisfaction. In order to do so, recollect all the small things which you used to like a lot, or which you still like a lot and start engaging in them more and more. For example, start listening to or watching your favorite songs more and more, start playing your favorite computer games or video games more and more, start going to gym if you like it, start swimming if you like it, start watching comedy movies or TV programs, start visiting and meeting all your friends and relatives you like the most, start going out more to eat some of your favorite foods at places which are not expensive, start eating more potato chips, chocolates, ice creams and other such favorite items, and start doing all other such things which you like and enjoy doing and which don’t need much money or resources to be done and enjoyed.
As you keep doing these activities more and more, a sense of responsibility and conscience will start coming to you, through the first set of practices as you watch, hear or read more and more good and moral stuff instead of engaging in more and more luring stuff. The second set of small activities will help you enjoy more often and feel satisfied more often, and as more and more such messages of enjoying and feeling satisfied are sent to your subconscious mind through these small but specifically targeted conscious activities, your subconscious mind starts helping you stay away from being overambitious and engage in immoral or criminal thoughts and practices.
This is because the primary reason for you being overambitious is that you want to feel happy and satisfied by achieving all those top class things that you wish for, and you think that happiness is possible only when you achieve those things. In thinking so and in doing so, you subconsciously start keeping yourself away from all such small activities which can give you small amounts of happiness every now and then, and all this happiness combined together can actually match or even surpass the level of your dream happiness which you will get only when you achieve all those big things. You should understand that this negative habit of being overambitious keeps you further and further away from happiness because it makes you have a perception that you will feel happy only when you achieve those big things and due to this perception, you stop working towards getting happiness from small but valuable activities.
As you start engaging in such small activities more and more, and as you start gaining more and more happiness through these activities, the pressure for being happy and feeling satisfied is lifted to great extent. Whatever big you wish to achieve, whatever big you want to experience, the final purpose of all those things and targets is to feel happy. Since you are not able to achieve those big things and you are also staying away from small amounts of happiness coming through small activities, it means that you are not getting much happiness in your life. That is what is making you complain too much, making you feel frustrated and putting more pressure on you to achieve those big things at any cost and by any means, as everyone wants to be happy and the more you lack happiness, the more desperate you can become, to do anything to get the most needed happiness for yourself.
Hence when you keep yourself away from all those small amounts of happiness and you are not able to achieve those big targets either, for a long period of time, lack of happiness starts building inside you and it keeps making you more and more desperate and once this desperation reaches a certain level, it makes you complain too much, feel dissatisfied with most things and people and engage in criminal or other immoral activities so that you may get the most needed happiness. On the other hand, when you start getting small amounts of happiness from many conscious and specifically designed activities on daily basis, all this happiness keeps adding up and it starts taking care of your need for being happy, and so the need for taking desperate measures goes down.
Though you may not know why, but as you start getting more and more happiness through these small activities, you will start feeling that the urge for doing anything good or bad to achieve what you want is getting weaker and weaker as you keep getting more and more happiness. The reason for this is that the ultimate and subconscious goal behind achieving all those big things was to be happy. So happiness is the final goal whether you know it or not, and as you keep getting more and more happiness, you start meeting your goal and this is when you start getting a feeling that you don’t need to take desperate measures in order to feel happy.
This feeling comes to you because each time you feel happy through these small but conscious activities, you send signals of happiness to your subconscious mind and your subconscious mind starts understanding a number of activities through which you can feel happy, as and when you want to do so. With more and more repeated signals of happiness gained through these specific conscious activities, a strong script is written on your subconscious mind and it then starts working according to that script and this is when you start changing from within and here is how.
The next time you feel the need to be happy and you try to reach out for your big achievements but you can’t, your subconscious mind starts suggesting you many small activities through which you can gain small amounts of happiness and it motivates you to engage in them. For example, whenever you start feeling low thinking about how far away you are from your big goals, your subconscious mind may inspire to watch a good movie, eat the foods you like and many other activities. As you engage in these activities, they give you happiness and satisfaction and accordingly the pressure on your mind to work desperately in order to achieve your goals is reduced. This is because the final aim of achieving those targets is nothing else but satisfaction and happiness and when you are already getting satisfaction and happiness, you don’t lack them any longer and you stop being desperate for big successes.
The beauty of your subconscious mind is that while you feel like going to your favorite eating joints, watching a good movie or doing other things like them, you consciously don’t feel that your subconscious mind is sending all this inspiration to you and you think that you have a mood for doing some of these activities. You are right about this mood thing but you should know that this mood is triggered by your subconscious mind and nothing else. You are in need of happiness, you have registered many activities which can give you happiness, with your subconscious mind and accordingly, your subconscious mind inspires you to engage in some of those activities so that you may feel happy. You see, your subconscious mind can even bless you with good moods also and all you have to do in order to get all this, is to train your subconscious mind to help you out, as and when you need such help.
Along with the first two types of activities, you have to simultaneously engage in a variety of third type of activities also as they will also help reduce this problem of being overambitious, from a different angle. In order to engage in these activities, start visiting or meeting more and more such people who have one type of physical disability or the other and start spending some time with them even if it is five minutes a day. When you start doing this, you will start finding out that there are many people in the world, who don’t even have one tenth of good things that you have and many of these people are happy even then. A feeling of gratitude towards god and destiny starts coming to your mind and you start to think that you are blessed to have a healthy body and you are able to enjoy much more than many other people are.
Every time you engage in one such activity and every time such thoughts come to your mind, they send signals to your subconscious mind that your life is not all that bad and you are already much better than many other people in this world. As these messages of gratitude and being better than many other people are conveyed to your subconscious mind again and again, your subconscious mind registers them and starts acting according to a new script. The next time when you tend to have those overambitious thoughts and you start getting restless by thinking that you have not achieved anything till now, your subconscious mind starts sending inner voices to you where such voices say that you are already much better and happier than many other people in this world and even your current achievements are much bigger than those of many other people. As these voices inspire you, you start feeling relaxed because you know that you are better than many other people in this world and you are not a loser.
You should understand that one big reason for you being overambitious is that you keep comparing yourself to people much higher and much more successful than you, which makes you sad and desperate because you are the one with least number of achievements, in such comparisons. Hence you wish to compete with them and reach the level of success they have achieved, though such level may be too high and irrational to be achieved by you through fair practices, in a short period of time. So you start feeling like a loser and you start preparing yourself for taking desperate measures so that you are not the one to finish last in this race between you and these very well established people, you are comparing yourself to.
So all you have to do is to start running in a different race every now and then, where this race is the one where you always finish first and all other people running with you are left behind or far behind. When this happens, you start getting a feeling which is the exact opposite of the feeling you get when you compare yourself to people much higher than you. The first type of feeling was a feeling of being a loser and that of being the one who has been blessed the least in a particular group of people whereas the second type of feeling is the feeling of being a winner and that of being a person who has been blessed the most in a particular group of people.
You see, the solution is very simple, if you can’t finish first in a specific group of people and you don’t think you can either do so in a short period of time, it is the time to change the group and start playing in the group where you can always finish first and where you are the biggest achiever. Your achievements have not changed at all, but merely by changing who you compare yourself with, you have become a winner instead of being a loser and you have become the most blessed one in a group, instead of being the least blessed one in a group.
Doing so does not kill your ambitions and it only keeps them in check, by making sure that they are rational and you can afford all the time it takes to fulfill them. When you are getting inspired by the lives of right type of people, you are getting small amounts of happiness through various activities every now and then, and you are comparing yourself to the people much below you than the ones who are much higher than you, your negative habit of being overambitious starts reducing. This is due to the reason that the combined effect of all these activities heals you on different levels.
The first types of activities stop you from being inspired by wrong type of people and they help you taking your inspiration from right type of people. The second types of activities start supplying you with more happiness and satisfaction so that you don’t lack these essentials and you don’t feel like taking desperate measures. Finally, the third types of activities keep telling you that you are not a loser or the least blessed one and you are much more blessed than many other people in this world. As a result, you will start having the right type of motivation, you will start getting happiness as and when you want it and you will start being more grateful for being blessed much more than many other people.
Accordingly, you will start having more patience to achieve your big targets and you will even start adjusting these targets so that they are relevant and you may achieve them in a decent amount of time. So everything has changed now as you are feeling happy every now and then, you have redefined your goals so that they are rational and they are worthy of being achieved through fair practices, and you have the patience to wait till the time you start achieving your goals one by one. The habit of being overambitious is going now and the habit of being rationally and patiently ambitious, is taking place of this old and negative habit.
Right type and right amount of ambition is a very good and a must have quality for everyone as such ambition helps you define your goals in a rational way and it then motivates you to start working to achieve them. Since your goals are defined and rational now, they are achievable through fair means, you are willing to put in the effort required, you are willing to wait patiently through the time required and you are getting due amount of happiness and satisfaction on regular basis; you are now focused, relaxed, happy and patient and this is the best combination you can have.
You should understand that even if you have an ambition to rise sky high, there is nothing wrong with it and it is fine. It becomes wrong when you are not willing to put in the amount of effort required and more than that, you are not willing to wait patiently through the time required to achieve your goal. Hence you have to avoid irrational or immoral goals, you have to keep working to achieve your goals and you have to wait patiently to achieve your goals because even if you wish to rise sky high, you will rise only step by step in most cases and you are not going to fly to the skies suddenly. Hence don’t be desperate and wait patiently for your dreams to be realized and whenever you reach one more step closer to them, enjoy it, celebrate it and feel happy.
Another point worthy of being mentioned here is that desperation and impatience comes when you keep sacrificing too much for a goal, for a long period of time and you still don’t achieve it. When this happens, you start getting impatient and desperate because you have sacrificed most other things for a goal and even that goal is out of your reach, and this is what puts a lot of pressure on you and you start thinking about taking desperate measures. In order to avoid falling in one such situation, reduce the number of sacrifices you are making for a goal, find and fix ways to get happiness and satisfaction every now and then, and you will start having more patience and being more relaxed. As you are not sacrificing too much for your goals now and you are getting your due share of entertainment and happiness now, life is no longer work and punishment only and life now offers enjoyment and happiness too. This fact makes you grateful, relaxed and patient and when it happens, you are in a much better position to achieve your goals.
Coming back to the activities of the third type, apart from meeting people with disabilities, start meeting other people who are materially much less blessed than you, as that will also create the same effect on your subconscious mind. Meet and interact with more and more poor, deficient and other loss suffering people, and you will start being more and more grateful for what you already have instead of cursing yourself or your fate for what you don’t have. For example, meeting someone poor or very poor will make you feel grateful for how resourceful you are, comparatively. Similarly meeting a person with troubled marriage or broken marriage will make you feel grateful for what a good marriage you have.
The world is full of a variety of different people and whereas there may always be people who are happier or much happier than you in some regards, there will certainly be a great number of those people also who are blessed less or much less in certain specific spheres, as compared to you. So the correct approach doesn’t lie in always looking at better people and feel sad and dissatisfied with what you have, but it lies in looking at people below you and feel satisfied for how blessed you already are, and then looking at the people above you and try to upgrade yourself to one of the upper levels.
Balance is everything in life and a balanced approach always works the best. Looking only at people much higher than you can make you become overambitious and dissatisfied with your life whereas looking only at the people below you, can make you quit all ambition and effort to rise higher since you can start thinking that you are already blessed a lot and you don’t need more blessings. Hence you should look at both type of people; you should have a feeling of gratitude by looking at people less blessed than you whereas you should take inspiration by looking at people blessed more than you.
A final word of advice as you go through the treatment for this problem is that, while you do the needful to get rid of this problem, you should stay away from bad company as indulging in bad company can not only reduce the speed of your recovery, but it can also land you in trouble. This is due to the reason that by virtue of being overambitious, a part of you is already provoking you to engage in unfair practices to fulfill your ambitions and the last thing you want in this case is other people telling you to do the same. Hence you should stay away from bad company as these people will encourage you to engage in bad karmas and you have high chances of falling for their bad advice, since you position is already vulnerable by virtue of being overambitious and desperate. So stay away from bad company, do all the remedies mentioned by me and you will get rid of this problem of being overambitious.
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To be Continued
Lord Shiva Bless You
Himanshu Shangari