Too Much Complaining 03

Heaven and Hell Within Part 02

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Yet another reason for feeling dissatisfied and making complaints in most situations is that the person making such complaints is overambitious. Being overambitious is one negative trait which can make you feel dissatisfied in most situations, with most things and with most people. The people complaining too much due to being overambitious are different from the already discussed other two types of people having this problem. Unlike the other two types of people suffering from this problem, these people actually don’t suffer much or suffer at all in many situations and all their dissatisfaction and complaints are merely due to the fact that they have a habit of wanting more, more and more.

No matter how good a thing, situation or a person may be, such a person will still not feel satisfied as the ideal image of this thing, situation or person in his mind is too big, too great and too perfect to be true. No matter how good his job is, it is still nothing compared to his dream job; no matter how good his girlfriend is, she is still nothing compared to his perfect dream girlfriend; no matter how well his son performs at studies, he is still far behind his dream target; no matter how good the food or hospitality is at a place, it is still nothing compared to his ideal definition of food and hospitality; no matter how well behaved a person is, he is still nothing compared to this person’s ideal image of a well behaved person; no matter how luxurious a car may be, it still lacks something compared to the luxuries offered by his dream car, and many other such examples of many other such situations where there’s nothing wrong with a thing or a person, but these people still don’t feel satisfied as they have raised their expectations too high.

It’s not a bad thing to demand for better things when the things being offered are not good enough, and there’s nothing wrong in trying to raise your standards on all levels, as long as all this remains reasonable which is exactly what is not the case with a person suffering from the problem of being overambitious. Such a person raises the level of his expectations, ambitions and demands so high that it is not only unreasonable to have such irrationally high demands but it also makes it almost impossible for most people and situations to meet these too high expectations of this person. Inevitably, dissatisfaction and complaints follow in most situations as it is almost impossible to make this person happy and satisfied and to get a complement from him, instead of a complaint. Hence the negative habit of being overambitious can make you have the negative habit of complaining too much also.

Now that we have looked at the symptoms and root causes of this problem, it is the time to discuss some suitable remedies for this problem, which can effectively treat it and relieve the person suffering from it. In order to look for effective remedies, we must first understand that since different people may be suffering from this problem due to different reasons which have been mentioned above, the line of remedies also needs to be different in different cases. So if you are suffering from this problem of complaining too much and you want to know which remedies are going to work for you, you first need to know which one or more than one of the above mentioned reasons have given birth to this habit in your case and then try the relevant remedies.

Knowing the difference is not very difficult and let me help you with this. If you have a weak or negative personality and you have gone through a troubled childhood where you suffered many times due to lack of one thing or the other, you are having this habit due to the first reason. On the other hand, if you are not a weak personality and you did not suffer from want of most things in your childhood but you do tend to make wrong decisions many times and fall into trouble, you are a case of the second type and you need to do remedies accordingly. Finally, if you didn’t have a troubled childhood, you are not a weak personality and you don’t make foolish decisions very often but you do dream very high, you aspire to rise sky high, you want most people and things to be perfect and nothing less than perfect and you always have some better idea for a situation, you definitely belong to the third type of people suffering from this problem.

Once you know the reason, it is the time to know the remedies to treat that reason so that you may start getting rid of this problem of complaining too much. If you suffer from this problem due to being overambitious, all you have to do is treat your problem of being overambitious and this problem of complaining too much will also go away with that. I am going to devote an entire chapter to discuss the problem of being overambitious and hence you should get your remedies through that chapter, in case being overambitious is the reason you complain too much.

Coming to the second reason, if you’re making wrong decisions and end up being dissatisfied and making complaints due to those wrong decisions, you will need to discipline yourself and think properly about the pros and cons of a situation before engaging into it. Many of you will be surprised to know that in case of many such wrong decisions which end in leaving you dissatisfied and complaining, the actual culprit lying at the root of these decisions is none other than another negative habit of being too greedy. Being too greedy is one habit which makes you assess most things and people from their face value or price and not from their qualities or actual value served to you by them.

To understand it in a better way, let’s consider the examples mentioned earlier in this regard and let’s see why the person suffering from a habit of complaining too much due to making wrong decisions, made the wrong decisions in those cases. Starting with choosing science over arts, the reason for this decision is obviously greed and nothing else as this person opts for science even when he is very good in arts, merely due to the reason that science offers better paying professional opportunities than arts. You can see that this person is leaving something which he is really good at, for something which he does not feel very comfortable with, only in order to make more money, which is obviously greed and nothing else.

Moving on, this person ignores a girl with good nature and he instead marries a more beautiful girl though the second girl is ill-natured. This once again shows that this person only judges things and people from their face value or surface value and he doesn’t bother much to look for quality and real value in things and people. This is once again greed in action as a wise man will always choose a good natured girl for marriage, over a more beautiful but ill-natured girl, and only a man greedy for beauty of the skin will make such a decision which can cost him very dear in the end. Similarly in case of consuming premium liquor in high quantities even after being aware that high quantities of liquor don’t suit him, this person is once again driven by greed as he is doing so only to satisfy his greed for costly liquor which is available for free but which may prove harmful. Once again, a wise man in the same situation will abstain as he knows that he will end up suffering, but a greedy man will always go for the face value and not bother about the consequences, which means he will try to drink as much as he can just because the liquor is expensive and he may not get it again in the near future.

Looking at the final example, this person is trying to attempt a stylish looking exercise in the gym even when he knows that he is too new to attempt this exercise; merely because this exercise is stylish and he wants to make an impression on other people by doing this exercise. He is once again driven by greed due to which he only pays attention to how he can quickly gain additional value in the eyes of other people, and he completely ignores this wise fact that he is just a beginner, this exercise is not meant for him and he may land in trouble while attempting this exercise.

So the reason behind many such wrong decisions made by a person, which leave him dissatisfied and complaining in the end, is greed and greed alone, in most cases. Hence in order to treat the negative habit of complaining too much due to making wrong decisions, you have to learn to discipline yourself, think about pros and cons of a situation and then make a decision based on wisdom instead of letting your greed make those decisions for you. In short, you will need to reduce the level of your greed in order to avoid making such wrong decisions, and then suffer and make complaints later on. I’m going to assign a chapter to the negative habit of being too greedy, so you should check that chapter in case greed is your problem.

Coming to the final and probably the most complicated reason for feeling dissatisfied and making complaints in most situations, if you are suffering from this problem due to a weak and negative personality, as well as due to a troubled childhood, your path of treatment is certainly going to be long if not too long. In order to get rid of this problem in this case, you will first need to start working towards building a stronger personality so that you may be able to fight and change situations which you don’t like instead of keeping quiet and complaining later on.

Apart from this, you will also need to reduce the overall negativity in your aura or in your personality so that you may become able to appreciate and make the most of what you have instead of complaining about what you want to have but don’t have. In order to reduce the overall negativity of your personality, you should take guidance from this part as well as from the first part of this book and you should try to rectify or reduce as many negative habits as many you can so that you may finally have a positive aura or positive personality which can not only help you get rid of this negative habit, but many other negative habits too.

After this, let’s now look at some specific remedies or conscious activities which can help you get rid of this habit of complaining too much due to the reason being discussed. You should keep in mind that as long as you have a weak and negative personality, it is not easy for you to stand up and change things when you don’t like them or to like things which you get instead of crying over things that you want but don’t get. Hence you will need to take a different approach in this case and you will need to engage in certain specific types of activities in order to see some relief from this habit of complaining too much, while you are trying to win over your problems of having a weak and negative personality, which will bring the final solution for this problem once you achieve a strong and positive personality.

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To be Continued

Lord Shiva Bless You

Himanshu Shangari