Too Many Fears, Lack of Confidence 02

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Have you wondered why the young or even very young kids of new generation are much smarter than we were at their age when it comes to mental abilities? The reason which should be obvious by now is that through the introduction of various gadgets and through the revolution of the internet, the kids of the new generation are getting smarter and smarter in terms of mental abilities since they are practicing and exercising their mind far more than we did at their age. All of you must know this simple rule, the more you practice in any sphere the better you become in it and as they are practicing or exercising their minds more and more, they are gaining more and more mental strength, mental abilities and greater levels of concentration.

So engaging in an activity which requires more mental effort than physical effort is a better way to treat this problem of low confidence and hence you should choose an activity which is the one that you really like doing, which is easy at the start and requires most of the job to be done by your mind. Care should be taken that if you choose to play games for this purpose, give them only a reasonable amount of time and don’t engage in them at the cost of other compulsory daily activities, since games are also addictive and hence you should only spend a reasonable amount of time with them.

Another trick that can increase the pace of your recovery is to play games that feature small rounds or levels of play compared to the games which are long and continuous and you are more likely to do a marathon instead of a 100 meter sprint. Our primary objective in playing these games is to send more and more messages of, “I can do it”, to your subconscious mind. That will happen only once you complete a level, round or mission. When you play games that feature small rounds or levels, you will be able to send more signals to your subconscious mind as with the passage of every couple of minutes, you will get a message that will tell you that a round is complete, a level is complete, or a mission is complete. This message of completion is what will do the trick.

So avoid playing long continuous games in the beginning where you will see a message of completing anything after 10-20 minutes or even longer and instead stick to the games that give you these messages after every few minutes. Learn and remember this simple fact that each time you want to change the script written on your subconscious mind, you need more and more messages. Accordingly, you should target activities that keep giving you the message of success every now and then. This way, you will be able to send a greater number of messages in a comparatively less amount of time. Apart from this, each time you win in any sphere of life, irrespective of whether the win is big or small, you gain more confidence and strength to win the next time and for this exact reason we want to increase the number of wins achieved by us.

To speed up this process, engage in more than one such activity every day. This will ensure that you are not addicted to only one activity. Engaging in more and more activities means having more wins. This will give your confidence a greater boost and you become better and better at many things. Now, the messages sent to your subconscious mind will become something like, “I can do it and I can do many other things also” and such messages will increase the pace of your recovery. So choose more than one activity from a wide range of activities available and start doing them with increased resistance.

Once you feel comfortable with the first level, you will start observing that you are able to achieve wins in more and more challenging levels with less conscious effort. When this happens, it means that your subconscious mind has either stopped opposing you or is opposing you with less strength. This is when you are ready to move on to the next level.

In the next level, start doing the opposite of the first level where you chose an activity which is new for you and instead choose real activities from various spheres of your life where you have natural talent and start doing them more and more. This is due to the reason that since you have achieved a reasonable level of confidence, you are ready to deal with real things: things that can bring you success, appreciation or other value in life. When you start engaging in such an activity, always remember the golden rule which says that among all the available options which can do the same job for you, always choose the one that you find yourself most comfortable with. So, choose an activity where you are naturally gifted and you can do and achieve more in relatively shorter period of time and with relatively less effort.

You can start developing any of your talents which can help you succeed in your life and such talents may be different for different people. For example, it could be the study and practice of law for someone, a professional course in hotel management and job afterwards for someone, starting some practice or small-scale business like opening a food joint for someone, joining as a gym instructor for someone, becoming a teacher for someone, moving to another state or country for someone and many other such activities which may be different for different people. But one single point which has to be common among all of these different people is that all of them should choose a sphere of life or a field of profession to engage in, where they find themselves the most comfortable or so to say, naturally gifted. This is the key factor for gaining more and more confidence and this can’t be substituted for anything else and therefore you must stick to this rule.

For example, though you have gained confidence through various activities in the first level, it is a bad idea to open a food joint if you are gifted in teaching and you do just all right in cooking or managing. So don’t do such a thing as you will deal with a level of difficulty and resistance from your subconscious mind, which is far bigger than what you are accustomed to at this point. Accordingly you are likely to face more failures in this profession and as you start facing more and more failures in this job, however small the failures may be, you will start losing your confidence as your conscious mind will again start sending the message of, “you can’t do it”, to your subconscious mind. When this happens, your subconscious mind will once again start sending more and more fears to you and these fears will make it difficult for you to carry on, and once you decide to quit, you are back to where you were before starting this treatment and you will have to start from the scratch, once again.

For this reason, choose a profession where you feel most comfortable and where you are naturally gifted, though such a line of profession may offer you less money than the one you don’t like. So don’t be lured by financial offers and just follow your natural talent while choosing a job or profession and you will do much better in that line. The added bonus is that every time you achieve a win or a success which you will achieve often as this is the job you like doing, you will receive appreciation which will keep giving you more and more strength. On the other hand, if you have an opportunity to join a job with higher rewards, but don’t know much about it or don’t like it much, you will quit this job sooner or later, after a short or long period of mental torture, repeated failures and after taking a big hit on your confidence. So don’t always run after money and choose a job that you feel you can be the best at. By doing so, you will start seeing good results and you will start gaining more and more confidence.

While you go through this process more and more, it is highly recommended that you stay away from people with low confidence or people with negative attitudes. The energy transferred through these people can make it more and more difficult for you to win over your problem of low confidence. For example, someone with a negative attitude or low confidence can bring down your confidence levels with a simple line saying, “I once tried a couple of courses of personality development to gain confidence but after months of hard work, none of them worked”. Imagine how much damage such a line can do to your confidence and how many fears it can bring to your mind, at this stage! So Don’t engage in the company of people with low confidence or negative attitudes until you have reached a point where you feel that your confidence has now become strong enough not to be shaken by such people.

On the contrary, it is always helpful to engage in the company of positive people as well as people with high confidence as their company will always transfer a specific type of energy to your aura and this is the type of energy which you need the most to get out of your problem of low confidence at the earliest. Reading motivational books and listening to motivational speeches is also helpful as these books and speeches once again provide you with the exact kind of positive energy that you need in order to get out of your problem of low confidence and hence you should consider doing these things also, on regular basis. Reading or watching the life stories of great people who achieved great things by virtue of sheer courage and confidence also helps you gain more confidence and hence you should engage in this practice also, every now and then.

It should be noted that all books, speeches and other things will only motivate you to do something big in life and all these resources are not sufficient on their own to treat and cure this problem, in most cases. Learn this fact that when it comes to sending specific messages to your subconscious mind and replace the script written on it, with a script saying ‘you can do it’, you have to do it again and again instead of simply repeating the words. Your subconscious mind is smart enough to know whether you are actually doing it or simply saying it. You must have read that actions speak louder than words and when it comes to dealing with your subconscious mind, only actions will speak most of the time and words are not worth much.

Hence the real job is done through your actions and not through plain thoughts or resolutions which say that if someone else can do it, I can do it also. Such thoughts are good enough to encourage you to start doing something but they are not good enough to change the script of your subconscious mind on their own and hence you will need to engage in more and more specifically guided activities.

Another drawback of not doing specifically required activities and instead only listening to motivational speeches, or reading books or lives of great people is that while doing so, sometimes under a spell of over encouragement, you may decide to start with a job or activity which seems heroic but in reality, it is too difficult for you to complete at your present level of confidence as well expertise. Remember that most great people started with a small thing in the beginning and then, they built up from there. Almost none of them accomplished greatest of the things at the beginning as all great men know this simple fact through their life experience that in order to raise and fix a flag of excellence on a building of success, it is first necessary to build the structure. Building this structure starts from the bottom and not from the top, which can’t survive even a minute without those strong foundations.

So consolidate your foundations first, through specifically targeted activities, and keep doing them over and over again until you have made your foundations strong enough to hold the building. Then start building the structure itself, all the way from bottom to top, slowly but steadily. This is the best mantra for success and you should strictly stick to it if you wish to raise a flag of excellence on the top of a building of success, the building of your success.

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To be Continued

Lord Shiva Bless You

Himanshu Shangari