Too Many Excuses and Justifications 02

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Have you ever wondered why are we able to pick a food item and put it into our mouth with great precision even when we are doing so in a room full of darkness? Habit, reflexes, practice or whatever you may call it, but what is the exact working mechanism behind all such theories? Well, the reason once again is your subconscious mind which helps you out in this case and the reason why your subconscious mind is able to do it is that through years and years of conscious efforts, you have successfully registered this fact with your subconscious mind that when you eat, this is the specific distance where you keep your plate and this is the exact distance of your mouth from your plate.

As your subconscious mind gets it perfectly right through your repeated efforts, you start taking your food from your plate and then put it into your mouth, all on the level of subconscious mind as your subconscious mind stats doing it for you, instead of your conscious mind having to put any effort. This is why most of us may observe that our food travels from our plates to our mouths, effortlessly or to be precise, without any conscious effort as all the effort is being made by the subconscious mind which is very powerful and which doesn’t need any light or any other such assistance, to do its job.

Have you ever wondered why it is so that through specific training on a specific type of keyboard, we are able to type faster, without looking down on the keyboard for different alphabets that we may wish to type? Though some of you may think that our fingers and other parts of our body have their own memory or something like it, the real answer once again is that through a series of conscious efforts, you register this request with your subconscious mind that when you start typing on a keyboard and let’s assume that it is a qwerty type of keyboard, the letter J lies under your right hand index finger, the letter F lies under your left hand index finger and other such instructions about all other keys on this keyboard.

With your repeated conscious efforts and with time, as always is the case with your subconscious mind, it accepts your request and it then starts working for you and this is when you find that in order to type anything on this type of keyboard, you don’t have to think much. This is because active thinking is the job of your conscious mind and the operation of typing has now been taken over by your subconscious mind. Even if your subconscious mind is thinking in order to do this job for you, there is no way you will find this out and to you, the whole act seems to be getting done without putting much stress on your mind, which in this case is your conscious mind and which is actually not having any load on it. Hence you are right in thinking that you are not putting any stress on your mind when you are typing. The same mechanism holds in case of typing on your cell phones as well as all on other gadgets and in case of many other day to day life activities, which your conscious mind requests your subconscious mind to do and once these requests are accepted, you feel like doing these activities, without much effort or to be precise, without much conscious effort.

Let’s now make this discussion more interesting and let’s change a few parameters in the above mentioned examples and see what happens? Let’s change the type of keyboard or let’s simply change the position where you initially put your fingers on a qwerty type of keyboard and likewise, let’s assume that in a room full of darkness; you are now supposed to put this food into the mouth of the person sitting in front of you, instead of putting it in your mouth. In both cases, your job won’t be done as the new job demands a different type of script which has not been written on your subconscious mind and accordingly your subconscious mind doesn’t come to your help and hence you fail.

Coming back to the original topic, your subconscious mind even though very strong and powerful, is very slow and resistant to changes and accordingly you may need much time and effort if you want to write a script on it and you may require even more effort and time if you want to undo that change in script at a later stage. So keep in mind that when you are dealing with your subconscious mind, time and repeated conscious efforts are the two keys to your success. This is why I put so much stress on repeating your activities again and again even though they may be small ones, as each one of those specific activities sends a specific signal to your subconscious mind, a signal which requests for a new script to be written on your subconscious mind and as these signals keep going to your subconscious mind, this new script will be written sooner or later.

Coming to the effective treatment of this habit of acting irresponsible and then making excuses, now that we know the root cause of this habit, it is comparatively easier to treat it. To start this treatment at the first level, you will need to start engaging in simple and easy activities which you take up and complete and if you are not able to complete any of these activities in a proper or timely manner, you won’t make any excuses and you will simply admit that it is your mistake and you will try to correct it next time. As you engage in increasing number of such small but specific and effective activities, you start sending signals to your subconscious mind that you now want to replace the old script with a new one, and as you know, even though it might take time and effort, you will succeed in the end and that is what matters the most.

Taking a look at the criteria for selection of these small but specific and effective activities, start with activities that you like doing most, and which are easy to do. At the first level, you should assign such activities to yourself on your own instead of asking someone else to assign these activities to you as in the beginning, it may be difficult for you to say sorry to others even if they are your nearest and dearest ones, in case you fail to do any activities in proper or timely manner. This is because, it has been a long time since you honestly admitted your mistakes or shortcomings before someone and accordingly, it is going to be tougher if you want to admit them now as your subconscious mind will bring up fears and you may worry that the other person may not react decently to your admission of mistakes.

The second reason why you should start this practice on your own in the beginning is that, sometimes it may actually be the case that the other person may not behave as decently in response to your admission of a mistake, as you think he or she should behave. If this happens, it is going to give a big amount of discouragement to you, which is the last thing you want at this level. Hence assign these jobs to yourself and start completing them in a proper and timely manner and in case you are not able to do any one of them in a proper or timely manner, it is the time to admit your mistake in front of yourself and by yourself. This practice should also be done with maximum conscious effort, since the more conscious effort you put in, the better and the earlier you see the results.

Whenever you fail to do a job in a proper or timely manner, don’t just admit your mistake and promise to become better, in your mind as that is not likely to help much and instead use more and more number of conscious ways to do this practice. For example, each time you fail at any one of such activities, take a paper and write on it five times that it is your mistake, you feel sorry for it and you will do your best to correct it. Then consider doing the same on your computer, with the help of the keyboard and finally consider standing in front of a mirror where you can actually see yourself and start saying in a fair volume of voice that, it is your mistake, you feel sorry for it and you will do your best to correct it. You should take great care of the fact that while admitting this mistake in front of the mirror, your eyes should be right in the eyes of the person in the mirror and you have to do it like the person in the mirror is someone else.

When it comes to verbal admission, saying it once is sufficient and you don’t need to repeat it again and again as that may start looking like a punishment to you and accordingly you may want to skip this practice of verbal admission which is exactly what you should not do if you want to get rid of this habit of making excuses at the earliest. Most of you must have seen some movies in which a character writes a letter of apology to other character and he or she mentions that since he or she didn’t have sufficient courage to ask the same apology in front of the other character, he or she is doing so by means of a letter. This happens in real life also and the reason for such a practice is the fact that verbal admissions of guilt, mistakes and other such things are the most difficult ones whereas written admissions are easier. Hence you are not likely to send so strong a signal to your subconscious mind through written apology as you can send through verbal apology. For this reason, verbal apology if properly done is sufficient one time only whereas you may need more of written apologies or admissions.

If some of you are thinking what is the need for such apologies or to admit such mistakes in the first place when we can simply start completing more and more jobs in proper and timely manner, let me tell you this fact that for most of us, it is very difficult to correct a mistake if we don’t learn to admit it first, each time we make it. In addition to it, the fact that we have to admit a mistake each time we make it, puts a kind of positive fear in our minds which motivates us not to make it again as we will have to admit it again and feel embarrassed again, which each one of us wants to avoid. Hence we start being more conscious when we do the next task, which is exactly what we want to do to get rid of this problem of making excuses. This also brings forward one more interesting and useful fact that fears can also be used in a positive way which leads to one more valuable fact that most people, things or phenomena can be used in a positive as well as in a negative way, and it is up to you, whether you use them positively or negatively.

Looking at some specific activities which may help you improve at the first level, make a list of jobs or activities that you feel comfortable with and which are not very difficult to do since this is the first level only, and then start doing them. For example, depending on your level of comfort, you may assign yourself various activities like, “from now on I will wake up 30, 20 or even 15 minutes earlier than I do now”, “I will clean my room on daily basis”, “I will have the lunch ready by 2 PM and dinner ready by 8:30 PM without fail”, “I will wash or clean my car everyday between 7 AM to 8 AM or between any other specific times”, “I will assist my wife in purchase of vegetables and I will do it in a proper and timely manner”, I will go for a walk or for running everyday or 3-4 times a week at a specific time and for a specific period of time”, “I will read books offering knowledge for 15 or 30 minutes every day or for a couple of hours every week” and many other such tasks which you think may work best for you at this level.

As you start doing these activities again and again; your conscious efforts will start sending more and more messages to your subconscious mind and these messages will say that you want to do your job in a proper and timely manner and if you fail to do so anytime, you are willing to admit your mistake than making excuses. As these messages keep reaching your subconscious mind again and again, it will start paying attention to them and accordingly it will start putting less amount of resistance with passing time and with repeated activities. Finally a stage will come when you find that you are now doing most of such small activities in a proper and timely manner and at the same time, without much conscious effort and you know the reason for this.

Once you have mastered this first level, start applying the same formula to the sphere of your profession and all other spheres where you did badly and where you want to see results. You will be amazed to see that you are naturally doing better in most of these spheres compared to how you did before going through this treatment. This is once again for the reason that your subconscious mind which was your enemy before this treatment, has now become your friend and accordingly you are getting more and more help from your subconscious mind instead of getting more and more resistance from it, which was the case earlier.


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To be Continued

Lord Shiva Bless You

Himanshu Shangari