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One more negative trait, which can cause problems for you in various spheres of your life, is the habit of making too many excuses or giving too many justifications when you should have done your job properly. It is a common trait among many people that they don’t do what is required of them in a proper or timely manner and when they are asked for an explanation why they didn’t do their jobs in a proper or timely manner, instead of admitting their mistakes, they start making excuses and giving justifications. Even though many of these people think that they have convinced or fooled the other person with their perfect looking excuses and justifications but in reality, these excuses look perfect to them only and from the point of view of the other person, such excuse and justifications only add fuel to the fire.
Yes, almost all of us can sometimes face a situation when due to certain unavoidable circumstances, we are not able to complete our jobs in a proper or timely manner and it is fine if it stays only till here. However, if you have developed a habit of not doing your job in a proper or timely manner and then make excuses, it does become a serious concern. In this case, slowly but surely, you will start losing your credibility and most people will avoid giving you important tasks or jobs, since you are a person who they can’t depend on and most people in this world including you and me, don’t want to give an important job to someone who is not dependable.
Hence it is a big problem and if you have this habit, you should start doing the things needed to get rid of this negative habit. In order to do so, we will first look at the root cause of this habit as we always do and then find the activities which can help you get rid of this problem. This problem starts from some point back in the time, when you couldn’t do something in a proper and timely manner and instead of admitting your mistake, you decided to make an excuse. As you made this excuse, it was accepted by the other person and accordingly your mistake was ignored. This very fact gave you a negative type of motivation which said that if you are smart enough to save yourself from apologizing in front of various people, then why apologize and why not make such wonderful excuses more and more.
Kindly consider this fact also that since you have made such an excuse for the very first time in your life, this is the primary reason that the other person has not doubted your sincerity. He has accepted your excuses as a genuine problem that you may have faced while doing his job because at this point, you have not developed a reputation of being a person who doesn’t do his job in a proper or timely manner and then makes excuses. The other person trusts you and considers that you may have faced a genuine problem due to which you couldn’t complete his job on time or in the proper manner and this whole practice has actually got nothing to do with your smartness in making excuses. But as you start thinking that you are smart enough to make such excuses which can save you from saying sorry, you tend to put in less effort and less concentration in your next job, as you already know that even if the job is not completed in a proper or timely manner, there is something special about you which will save you from all the trouble.
As a result, the next job is once again not completed in a proper or timely manner and once again you use your best weapon which you have discovered recently and which is the weapon of making excuses. As expected, this weapon strikes the target once again and you are saved from saying sorry. This is when you start believing in this weapon more and more and accordingly you start sending more and more messages to your subconscious mind with each one of such excuses that, making excuses is much better than being responsible since it is comparatively easier of the two and at the same time, it makes you feel smarter as you are now able to fool more and more people.
But in reality, just like the first time, the other person has only bought your excuses not because you have fooled him but because he trusts you and doesn’t doubt your words. This is because even at this point, you still have a clean image or reputation and people don’t think you are irresponsible or undependable. As your trick works once again, it gives you more and more reasons to put less effort in your work and more effort in making such excuses which give you a great feeling of being smarter than many other people and so you start doing it more often. Accordingly, your conscious mind starts sending more and more messages to your subconscious mind, saying that you are willing to make excuses rather than act responsibly. With these repeated and frequent messages, your subconscious mind registers a new script which says that making excuses is much better than being responsible and taking all the pain to do a job in a proper or timely manner.
As a result, your subconscious mind starts giving you more and more reasons not to complete any job given to you, in a proper or timely manner and as this continues, you start making more and more excuses to the people who give you different jobs from time and time. Finally, a time comes when you project an image of being irresponsible, undependable and untrustworthy. At this point, most people around you start believing that you are not a trustworthy person and accordingly they start avoiding you. Though you become aware of this new and negative image of yours, it is very late to change yourself back to a responsible or trustworthy person now, as your subconscious mind considers you as a person who is irresponsible and who is good at making excuses. Accordingly, your subconscious mind will put much resistance when you want to change yourself back to what you originally were. It is you who wanted your subconscious mind to believe that you are an irresponsible person who is good at making excuses and even though it took you a long time to make your subconscious mind believe you, but it finally believed you.
Hence your subconscious mind starts supporting you in a way you wanted, by giving you more and more reasons not to complete your work in a proper or timely manner and by suggesting better and better excuses to save your grace and to fool others. This is what you asked your subconscious mind to do for you and even though it took your subconscious mind a long time to start working according to your wish, it finally started working according to the script given by you. By the time you realize that you have given a wrong script to your subconscious mind and you want to change it, it is very late as your subconscious mind is now comfortable executing the old script and doesn’t want to change the script again, at least not easily. Hence, it puts great resistance when you want to change it. This is why it is said, you should be careful what you wish for, you just might get it.
Our subconscious mind is very strong, very vast and accordingly the slowest to change. Even though it is even more vast and slower than an ocean, but for the sake of understanding, you can consider it like an ocean since we don’t have a body of water larger than an ocean, available with us. If you want to heat a glassful of cold water, it won’t take much time and you are able to do it fast, but if you want to heat a container of cold water which contains 1000s of liters of cold water, it is certainly going to need much more effort. Now consider that you have to heat an entire lake or a large river of cold water and even though you have the Sun itself to help you in your job, it will still take time and it is not something that can be done in a matter of minutes like you were able to do it in case of glass of cold water.
In the end, coming to the ocean, now consider how much time and effort will it take to heat the entire water of an ocean even though the Sun itself is on your side and it is doing this job for you? Yes, you are right and it will take much more time in this case as the surface water of the ocean may look hot or warm in case of heating but the water at the bottom is still very cold and accordingly it is going to take more and more time to heat the ocean, layer by layer.
The most interesting part is that now that you have accomplished a task even this difficult, with great effort and time, how would it sound if, after heating the entire ocean or even after heating a glass of cold water, you turn to it and say, “I have made you hot but now I don’t like it, so I want you to become cold once again!” You all know that it is not going to happen on its own, and will need an equal amount of time and effort if not more, to bring the water back to its original state.
This is exactly how things happen or change at the level of your subconscious mind. It requires much effort and time to make a change to your subconscious mind and once this change is made, it is equally difficult to undo this change since your subconscious mind will first put up resistance to make a change, and once that change has been made, it will put up resistance to undo it. This is why you should be careful what you wish for as you just might get it and if you don’t like it later, there may be no way of undoing your wish or the way may be very difficult and time consuming, like in case of your subconscious mind.
Have you ever observed, though many talented men and women in various spheres of life are naturally gifted, even then it is said that, practice makes a person perfect. In order to know the exact mechanism working behind practice, learn this already learnt fact once more that practice is nothing else but a series of conscious efforts through which we keep sending more and more signals to our subconscious mind that we need more and more skill, energy and stamina while engaging in a particular type of job, sport or activity. With our repeated conscious efforts called practice, slowly but strongly, our subconscious mind registers our request and it then starts helping us and accordingly we start becoming better and better at that particular job, activity or sport. This is why practice makes a person perfect.
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To be Continued
Lord Shiva Bless You
Himanshu Shangari