Lack of Trust 05

Heaven and Hell Within Part 02

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Next category, if you find that a person is behaving very well with the people who are either superior to him in some way or who may benefit him in some way, whereas he is behaving badly with the people who are junior to him or inferior to him in some way, he is not the one you should consider building a relationship with. This is because this person is selfish and he is even worse than the ones who don’t behave well with all the people as the second type of people have a permanent way of behaving with people irrespective of whether they are superior to them or inferior to them. Hence they may not be very good to interact with at first, but they are honest as they don’t hide their true nature or behavior to please someone in order to get some benefits from them.

On the other hand, this person in question is selfish because even though he wants to behave badly with people as and when he has the luxury of doing so, he goes against his nature, he makes himself uncomfortable and he forcefully behaves very well in order to gain something from someone in authority. This dual behavior is what makes him selfish and untrustworthy because in most cases, he is only going to behave well with people if he needs something from them and otherwise, he is going to behave badly with them. This person is very likely to hurt you sooner than later and hence you should avoid this person also.

Considering one more category, if you observe that a person is speaking about himself, himself and himself most of the time, and he seems to be exaggerating most of his stories about himself, leave him alone and move on to the next category. This is due to the reason that this person is too much obsessed with himself and accordingly, he doesn’t have much space for any other person to fit in his heart, including you, because his heart is already full of him and he is still finding more space to fit in the rest of himself. It is very good to love yourself but it is very bad to love yourself so much that you become oblivious to all other people around you as well as to their needs. This person is not likely to serve much value to a relationship as he is still in the early stage of growth where he can’t see and experience anything or anyone but him.

Then there are people you will find complaining about one thing or the other, most of the time. As you already know by now, they are not the ones for you and you should skip them too. These people suffer from negative attitude and almost nothing can satisfy or please them for long, which means that they are going to trouble you with a great number of complaints about many people, things and even about you. You will rarely receive any complements or appreciation from these people and instead you will receive more and more negative feedback and complaints from these people. Such people also have a strong tendency to discourage you from engaging in most things you want to give a try. So stay away from these people also as they are too much to handle for you, at this early stage of treating your habit of lack of trust.

Similarly, there are many other types of people who are not even worthy of being given a first chance and you should avoid these people by failing them in initial assessment test. Doing so will reduce the chances of getting involved with the worst type of people and accordingly, you are less likely to get hurt by more and more people. You should learn and remember this fact that at the first level of treatment for this negative habit of lack of trust, your trust in most people is already very low and the last thing you want to do is to get hurt by more and more people as that will drive you away from the whole concept of treatment. So invest due time and effort in the first phase and make a wise initial assessment of people you want to continue with, as that will reduce your chances of getting hurt and increase your chances of building relationships with good people, considerably.

On the other hand, there are people who are definitely worthy of being given a chance and who are likely to prove good or very good assets for life, if you are able to build a relationship of trust with them. Just like I mentioned some types of people worthy of being failed during the initial assessment test, I’m going to mention some types of people who should certainly be given a chance as the good qualities they initially exhibit are sufficient to make them worthy of being valuable for you.

At any type of happy gathering, if you come across a person who is surrounded by many people or friends most of the time, provided he is not a celebrity, a very rich person or other such person who attracts people by virtue of something material he possess and not by virtue of his qualities, this may be the person you are looking for. This is due to the reason that in most cases, only those type of people are surrounded by many people, who have proven themselves an asset for most of their friends and due to this reason, their friends are very happy to have them in their lives and they don’t want to miss any chance of being next to them.

If this person is in a group of five or ten people and you don’t know who out of these ten people, is the one you are looking for, here are a few things which will help. You can observe that among this group of ten people, there is a person who is the center of attention of most other people in the group, which means that most other people look at this person while saying something, this person may do more talking than the others and when he speaks, most people in the group listen carefully and react very positively to whatever he speaks. Moving on, if the average distance of one person from the other in this group is one foot, you will observe that the two people sitting or standing immediately next to this person are maintaining a distance of less or much less than one foot.

This happens because our subconscious mind will encourage us to get as close as we can get to a person who we really like and respect. It means that the people sitting or standing next to him like him a lot and if someone is already being liked a lot by some other people, he must have some very good qualities as it is not possible otherwise, in most cases. Now observe if the scene changes and this group or a part of this group scatters. Some members of this group may scatter in ones or twos but this person is still accompanied by at least one or more than one person. If you further observe that more people who are not a part of this group, are coming to greet and meet this person and they greet him with a real smile of happiness on their faces, you don’t need more proofs and this person is definitely worth giving a chance as a good number of people will not pay attention or respect to a person at a gathering, if this person doesn’t have some very good qualities.

Moving on to the next category, if you find that a person is not only attending with great care to the people who are senior to him in one way or the other, but he is also giving respect to and he is behaving well with the people who are inferior or junior to him in one way or the other, this person certainly deserves a chance. A person who can respect all people and behave well with all of them irrespective of whether these people are above him or below him in some manner, is certainly a good person and he is not a selfish person also.

This is because if a person can respect those people and behave well with them, who are not likely to benefit him much and who on the other hand, may be looking for some benefits through him like his help or approval on certain issues; is definitely a good person. When you know that you are not going to witness much material benefit from a person and instead you may have to help him out every now and then, and you can still respect that person and behave well with him, you are certainly not a selfish person and on the contrary, you are a kind and good person.

In today’s world, people who are not likely to give you much and who are instead likely to expect you to help them as and when they need it, are seen as liabilities and not as assets; and in this day and age where most people are profit and loss oriented, if you can respect the people who are not likely to profit you in any way, you are certainly a kind and good person. So if you come across such a person, do give him a chance as he may prove a very valuable asset for a lifetime because if a person can respect and help people who are not able to serve him much value, imagine how far he’d be willing to go for a person he really likes and loves.

In the next category, if you come across a person who rarely complains about most things, situations and people, and instead he speaks well about things, situations and people, most of the time; he is the one you should consider giving a chance. For example, if you meet two people at a party and during the course of conversation; if the first person tells you how the lighting is not done properly, how a food item is not duly cooked or overcooked, how a drink is not as hot or as cold as it should be, how the party venue is too small or too big for a gathering like this and other such things like that; you don’t want to give this person a chance because he is all about complaining and that’s not what you want at this stage.

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To be Continued

Lord Shiva Bless You

Himanshu Shangari