Coming back to the mother of the second type; she’s conditioning her son in a way that he may feel indebted so that returns are assured.
Looking at the third act; she wakes up for an entire night in order to attend to her son and then she asserts this fact in the morning. This is an act similar to the second act and hence it is easy to understand that this mother is asserting the favour done by her to her son; in order to strengthen the conditioning of her son’s subconscious mind; though even she may not know it consciously.
The last act of giving money to her son and then asserting this fact is also a similar type of act though it is higher in quantum; compared to all other acts. This is because when you save an amount of money over 20 years; your ego gets attached to it and hence it becomes difficult to give this amount of money to anyone. The fact that she’s still able to give this entire amount or a part of it to her son tells that she certainly loves her but at the same time; she knows that she’s doing him a big favour.
Accordingly; the quantum of assertion is higher in this case as the quantum of assertion is proportional to the quantum of act of favour in such cases. This is why if you offer your friend a glass of water when he needs it; you don’t feel like asserting this fact much that you’ve done him a favour; since it is a small favour. However, if he wishes to borrow your car for three days; it is an altogether different matter. You may not give a straight forward yes, you may take time to decide and even if you give it to him; you may tell him that you had difficulties managing without it; when he returns it.
The fact that you’re taking time to decide is an act of assertion through which you’re telling him that it is a big favour and hence you need time to think. The fact that you tell him that you found it difficult to manage without your car when he returns it; is again an act of assertion. You’re telling him that you faced all these difficulties in order to make him happy. Deep down; you’re preparing him to be ready to return this favour with a favour of similar quantum; as and when you need it. You see, the corruption element is there, in most cases.
I guess the difference between the love of the first mother and that of the second mother should be clear now. Though both of them may think they love their sons purely; the first mother is correct in thinking so whereas the second mother is only partly correct as there’s an element of corruption in her love.
Hence pure love is free from corruption which means it’s all heart and conscience; and there is no ego since all the conditions which benefit you in one way or another, though such conditions may be conscious or subconscious; are applied by your ego. It means as long as there are conditions attached to love; it is not pure. Let’s now look at some guidelines related to conditions; which can help you check how pure or corrupt your love for someone is.
The first rule says that more is the number of conditions attached to your love whether such conditions are conscious or subconscious; more is the percentage of corruption in your love. The second rule says that bigger are the conditions attached to your love; more corrupt is your love and this rule is even more important when it comes to decide the percentage of purity or corruption in your love. The third rule is subtle and it is more like a variation of the first and second rule combined together.
This rule works in the opposite direction and it says more is the number of conditions you impose on yourself in order to prove worthy to your lover, and bigger is the quantum of these conditions; more corrupt your love is. Yes, even if you impose conditions on yourself; this is corruption since pure love means no conditions at all. Let’s try to understand these rules with the help of relevant examples.
Starting with the first rule; since conditions for your own benefit are imposed by your ego; bigger ego means more conditions which mean more corruption and less purity. If you’re in love with a woman, say with your wife and you want to check how pure or corrupt your love is; these examples may help. When you tell her that you love it when she wears short skirts and you hate it when she wears long skirts; and you tell her this in a way that your expressions compel her to stop wearing long skirts; it is a condition.
When you tell her that she should quit smoking as it is a bad habit and you keep telling her this again and again in a forceful manner; it’s a condition. When you tell her to accompany you to a football match since your friend is bringing his girlfriend along, it’s a condition. When you start suggesting her again and again that she should lose some weight since she’s not looking as good as she used to; it’s a condition.
When you try to stop her every time she tries to eat a high calorie food since she already has extra fat or she’s fit and you don’t want her to have extra fat; it’s a condition. When you keep telling her that she must join gym with you, so that she may also stay fit like you; it’s a condition. When you tell her she must learn to dance as this art comes handy at formal parties; assuming she doesn’t dance well; it’s a condition.
When you tell her to wear an expensive dress for a formal party since it helps you impress some people who are to attend that party and they are important for you at this time; it’s a condition. When you tell her that instead of wearing the gold necklace she wants to wear for a party; she should wear a diamond necklace since it is more expensive out of the two; it’s a condition. When you tell her that she must get friendly with your boss’s wife at the party; it’s a condition. When you tell her that she must have a couple of drinks at the party in order to socialize; it’s a condition.
Looking at some bigger conditions; when you tell her to stop interacting with a guy you don’t like for any reasons though she may like him for positive reasons; it’s a condition. When you tell her that you two should have another baby since you have a son and you want a daughter; and you try to convince her again and again as she may not be interested in second child; it’s a condition. When you tell her she must discontinue her friendship with your friend’s wife since you’ve recently had a serious dispute with your friend and you two are not on talking terms now, it’s a condition.
When you tell her that she must tolerate your irritating sister or even your mother; when all they do is to trouble her again and again; it’s a condition. When you tell her that in order to raise your son well, she should quit her job since you’re earning well for the entire family; it’s a condition. When you tell her that her parents must attend your son’s birthday party, assuming they’re unable to do so for some reason of their own; it’s a condition.
Looking at some subtle conditions; when you keep telling her to discontinue her friendship with a specific female friend as that friend may keep giving her hard times and you don’t like it when she gets upset after each one of such incidents; it’s a condition. When you tell her that she must enter a professional exam as clearing it may benefit her a lot in her professional sphere; it’s a condition. When you tell her that she’s one of the most honest persons you have in your life and you can’t imagine her engaging in even a single act of dishonesty; it’s a condition. When you tell her that you’re blessed to have a wife as loyal as her as you’ve never seen her interested in any other man at all after marriage; it’s a subtle but very big condition.
Let’s now try to look into these statements and find out how and when they form conditions. It should be noted that though I’ve used the phrase, ‘when you tell’; even if you don’t tell her but you expect her to do these things; conditions are formed and your love is corrupted. This is due to the reason that ego lies inside you, which means its center lies inside you. Accordingly; if a condition is formed around its center, sooner or later; it’ll come out, consciously or subconsciously. Another fact is that until the time it comes out; it keeps disturbing you from the inside, which is an even bigger problem.
It should be noted that though the society or the laws consider an act done only when it is practically executed and not when you start planning to do it or you think of doing it for the first time; it is not so according to spiritual laws. When it comes to spiritual measures; this act is done as soon as it is committed in your mind; and its occurrence in the material world is just a formality. This is because as soon as any type of corruption rises in your mind; your mind gets polluted and this is all that matters when it comes to your spiritual growth.
For instance, if you add an acidic substance to a quantity of milk and then leave it for some time; this milk is going to be corrupted or spoiled over a period of time; where such time period depends on the quantity as well as quality of milk; quantity as well as quality of the acidic substance; conditions like temperature and on some other things. When it comes to the material rules; you can only call this milk spoiled when it is actually spoiled; say after 10 hours.
However when it comes to spiritual rules; this milk is spoiled as soon as this acidic substance or corruption is added to it. This is because the process of corruption has initiated and the end result is just a formality now; until something is done to prevent this milk from being corrupted. Accordingly; when your ego adds corruption to your mind even at the level of thoughts or feelings; your mind is corrupted. The outward expression of this corruption is just a formality now, and whether this expression comes out after a year or after a life; is immaterial.
Looking at another example; suppose you injure someone with the intention to kill him, his injuries are so severe that the doctors surrender and they say that they can’t save him; and whether he dies after an hour or a day; he is certainly going to die. Suppose this person dies after a day, which means a day after you injure him.
When it comes to the law of the land; the police can’t charge you for murder on the day you injure this person though doctors have made it clear that this person is certainly going to die. However due to their own limitations; the police can only register a case of ‘assault with intention to kill’ against you, till this person actually dies. Once he’s declared dead; the police may change this charge to that of committing murder.
This happens because the material laws have their own limitations and these limitations allow the law executing agencies to consider a crime committed; only when the effect equal to the quantum of such crime is realized in practical. Hence the charge of murder can be framed against you; only when the person you injured dies and not before that.