Coming back to the negative relationship, it may happen that this guy may be rich and the woman may only be interested in his money and not in him. Similarly, the guy may also be interested in the woman for her physical beauty or for some other things and he may not attach much value to her as a person.
Kindly note that if you marry a woman only for her physical beauty; it is a negative reason because you’re not marrying her for the person she is deep inside and you’re interested in her as a product. It means you don’t care about her personality and going deeper; you don’t have feelings of love for her and you’re simply interested in her as a beautiful object.
This is what makes her a thing or a product in your opinion and considering a person as a product or thing is a negative. Since you generally expect things to behave as you desire and you don’t allow them to behave as they desire; treating a person as a thing is only going to land you in problems. For example, your car only starts and runs when you desire it to; your fan or air conditioner also obeys you, your computer is turned on or off at your command and the same applies to a number of other things. It means their own wishes are silent and they’re bound to be controlled by your wish; until something wrong happens to some of them.
Kindly note that when it comes to interact with another person or develop a relationship with another person, it can be done in three ways; on the basis of how deep you can get attached to that person. The first kind of attachment is only skin deep or it only looks at the surface and you don’t go any deeper. For example, if you’re interested in a man or woman only for his/her physical beauty, money or something else of this kind; the relationship built on account of this interest is only as deep as the surface and hence it is the weakest kind of relationship.
This relationship is more like a trade where you’re only interested in the product of a seller and you’re not interested in the seller at all. For example, when you go to purchase something from a shop; you’re only interested in that thing and you’re generally not interested in the personality or personal life of the shopkeeper. There’s nothing wrong in it as you’re engaging in trade and this is how trade works. You wish to get the things you require and you’re offering money in exchange for those things. It is as simple as that and hence it is fine.
Since you as well as the shopkeeper know that you two are engaging in trade; even if you don’t take any interest in each other’s personal life; it is fair and honest according to the established norms of trade. Accordingly, you may be interested in the products only and the shopkeeper may be interested in money only. Neither you nor he may be interested in the other person’s personal life and it is fair. Kindly pay focus that whether a saint purchases a product from a shop or a serial killer does so; the shopkeeper may remain unaffected as his only objective is to collect money in exchange for his products. Hence money is his objective and natives purchasing the products are not.
The same applies to you also. Consider you require to purchase milk on daily basis and you have to go to a shop to do so. Consider there are two shops near your house which sell milk. The first shop is about 100 meters from your house and the second shop is about 500 meters from your house. They both sell the same brands of milk at exactly the same prices. The shopkeeper closer to your house is not a good person; he beats his wife, he drinks a lot and he does some other things also; which may not be considered good. The other shopkeeper is a good person and he doesn’t generally engage in bad karmas.
When it comes to you; as long as you don’t have a personal relationship with any one of these sellers; you don’t care about their personal lives and all you care for is milk. Hence the chances are high that you’ll continue purchasing milk from the first shop as it is closer to your house unless you intentionally desire to walk 500 meters, not for the second seller but in order to take a walk. You may not care how good or bad a shopkeeper is and you may not even care to learn these facts about them. You’re only interested is in purchasing milk and hence you may be interested in the quality and price of milk; but not in the quality or personality of the seller.
Hence when you’re only interested in someone’s product and not in them; you’re engaging in trade. Since the physical body or beauty of a person is not the person himself or herself; and it is more like a product which means a medium through which that person gets things done; if you’re only interested in his or her body; you’re engaging in trade and not in love. As long as you’re doing it as trade; there are no issues like in case of purchasing milk since both you as well as the shopkeeper know what you two are doing and hence everything is fair, if not the best.
However when it comes to a relationship like this; you tell the other person that you’re engaging in love when all you’re doing is trade. This is the reason it is a negative reason to marry someone. You’re saying one thing and you’re doing another. Hence you’re not delivering what you’re committing. If you tell this woman straight away that you desire to marry her only because of her physical beauty and you’re not interested in anything else related to her at all; you’re honest.
The woman may or may not marry you but you’re telling her exactly how you feel about her and hence you’re honest. Kindly note that even in this case; you’re engaging in trade and not in love; but instead of calling it love; you’re calling it trade which it is. Accordingly, it is fair; though it may not be a good thing to do. Hence in the deepest sense, availing the services of a sex worker in exchange for money is a better option than engaging in this kind of love.
This is on account of the reason that both you as well as the other person know what you’re doing and that’s what makes you honest. Your unconscious part of brain/mind says you only desire her body, your conscious part of brain/mind agrees to it and you arrange for her body in exchange for money. Since your unconscious part of brain/mind and your conscious part of brain/mind are in harmony in this case, you’re honest as well as peaceful. Kindly note that you may not have even unconscious guilt of doing something wrong to one such sex worker; as long as you don’t behave badly with her.
It means that you wish to use her body for some time, she is prepared to let you use it in exchange for money and you two engage in a trade deal. Assuming you’re well behaved, there is no reason for unconscious guilt to form in this case; where this guilt is related to doing something wrong to this woman. Since you know that she knows you’re interested in her body only; and she’s willing to let you use it for some time in exchange for some favours; this deal is honest. What she truly wants through this deal is money and what you truly desire through this deal is her body. Since you’re both getting exactly what you desire; you’re both honest and peaceful.
If you have engaged in one such act repeatedly; have you noticed that neither one such woman nor you have complaints against each other; even if you’ve met for such reasons, a number of times; as long as you both respect the terms of this trade? It means even if you keep visiting one such woman on and off for ten years; you may find that your relationship with her never goes bad; you two don’t argue or fight and in fact, you two may develop a unconscious kind of friendship. Hence you may find comfort in her company; and this time, I don’t only mean physical comfort.
On the contrary; a number of natives engaged in love relationships or marriages may feel that in a matter of few years; negativity builds and it increases; no matter how hard they may try to stop it. Some natives intentionally use the services of sex workers in order to relax and some of them keep meeting with same sex workers time and again. Isn’t it strange that you develop unconscious enmity for your lover or wife over a period of time whereas you develop a kind of friendship with one such sex worker over a period of time?
The answer to this question lies in honesty practiced by you as well as the sex worker in one such relationship; and dishonesty practiced by you as well as by your lover in one such relationship. When it comes to the relationship between you and your lover; both of you may consciously think you’re engaging in pure love whereas your unconscious part of minds know your love is corrupted. Hence it tries to tell your conscious part of brain/mind that your love is corrupted but the latter refuses to believe it under the influence of your self-pride.
This disturbs harmony inside you because your unconscious part of brain/mind and your conscious part of brain/mind differ in opinions. As a result; unconscious guilt is formed from time to time and this guilt is what creates a number of issues between you and your lover. Though you may not know it consciously but on account of the corruption added by your self-pride, your primary focus is on proving it to her and to yourself that you truly love her; instead of it being on loving her. It means you’re interested in asserting that you love her; more than you’re interested in loving her. This is what makes you dishonest because you’re trying to prove something which is not true, though you may not be aware about it on conscious level.
The same may happen in case of your lover also, which means she may also be divided when it comes to whether or not she loves you truly. She may consciously think she does but her unconscious part of brain/mind knows she doesn’t. Hence conflict rises within her and in order to prove her conscious part of brain/mind right; she may also engage in acts of asserting love. It means she may also be interested more in proving her love than being in love.
As already mentioned in an earlier part of this book, acts of asserting love are dishonest and they’ll always end up creating problems. You may both feel subconsciously that though the other person says or shows he or she loves you; it is not so in reality and there’s something wrong. It means you may sense that her love for you is not pure as she imposes a number of conditions on you in the name of love; and she may also feel the same about the love you have for her.
Hence on conscious level, you may both believe that you love each other truly; but on unconscious level, you may both know that none of you does so. This is the root cause of disputes in all such relationships since you’re continuing with something you know is false; deep down. This is what disturbs the harmony, this is what makes you dishonest though subconsciously; and this is what creates all the negativity in the relationship. This negativity keeps increasing with the passage of time and a stage comes when you both start feeling uncomfortable in each other’s company.
You may obviously feel this negativity though you may not know the exact reason; which is disharmony related to the nature of this relationship; between two parts of your as well as her brain/mind. Hence you two show one kind of love which is pure though what you have deep down is another kind of love which is corrupted; and this is root cause of your problems. Kindly note that engaging in trade in the name of love is not the root cause of your problem; and the root cause is not knowing this fact. It means that engaging in corrupted love is not the root cause of your problem and this cause lies in your conscious denial to the fact that your love is corrupted.
This is a fine but principal difference and it should be understood properly. Your peace is disturbed only when your unconscious and conscious part of brain/mind are in conflict and not otherwise. Hence if you engage in corrupted love and you accept this fact consciously; most of your problems related to one such relationship will disappear. This is because when your unconscious part of brain/mind tells your conscious part of brain/mind that your love is corrupted; the latter agrees to this fact. Since both of them agree on this issue; there is no disturbance and hence you’re at peace.
The moment you consciously realize that your love is corrupted; it becomes difficult for you to get upset when your lover engages in acts of corrupted love. This is because you’re able to realize now that what she’s doing to you is exactly what you’re doing to her. As this awareness comes to you; you suddenly find that you don’t have reasons to complain, because you’re getting what you’re giving and hence you may see it as fair.
However, if you consciously continue believing that your love is pure when it is not deep down; all her acts of corrupted love upset you. The way you see it in this case is that you love her purely and her love is not pure. It means you’re offering pure love and in return; you’re getting corrupted love. Accordingly; you find it unfair and this is what creates negativity. The same happens in her case also; as she thinks she’s offering pure love and in return; she’s getting corrupted love.
Therefore, the root cause of such negativity is not the lack of pure love; it is the lack of awareness about this fact that what exists between you two is corrupted love and not pure love. If you intentionally give someone fake currency notes as a part of a playful act and you ask him to give you a car in return; you don’t’ get upset when the other person gives you a fake car, which means a toy car. This is because you consciously know your currency is fake and accordingly; it can only bring you a fake car.
However, if you give someone valid currency notes amounting to the prize of a specific car which is a real one; you may get upset like hell if he offers you a toy car. Hence if you pay someone Rs. 3 million for a luxury car and he offers you a toy car worth Rs. 500; it is fair that you get upset.
Now imagine you visit an area where the currency notes you’re carrying are not valid; but you don’t know this fact. If you try to purchase something with these notes; similar things may happen. It means you may either not get anything in return or you may get useless things in return as some natives may think you’re joking and they may also return the favour; by giving you something which is equally useless as your currency notes are in this region. If such is the case; you’ll surely get upset unless you consciously realize that the currency notes you have are not valid in this region.
It means these currency notes are useless and you’ll only get useless things in return; if you get something in return to start with. The moment this conscious awareness comes to your brain/mind; you’re at peace. The currency notes may still not be able to get you anything; but now you know that they’re not valid in this region. As soon as this awareness comes; you don’t have any reasons to doubt other natives and you see them as honest.
Similar things are happening in case of your relationship with your lover. You’re giving her corrupted love but you consciously think it is pure. Hence you expect pure love in return and when you get corrupted love in return; you get upset. The same happens to her also as she’s giving you pure love and she’s getting corrupted love in return; according to her conscious knowledge. The moment you realize that your love is corrupted; peace finds you because now you may not have reasons to complain against her corrupted love. The same may happen in her case also.
When it comes to your relationship with a particular sex worker you’ve been meeting on and off for a number of years; the circumstance is different as well as honest, right from the start. All the time, you consciously know that you require certain favours from her and you require to pay for those favours. This is what your conscious part of brain/mind as well as your unconscious part of brain/mind accepts and hence there is no conflict related to this matter. Hence you don’t expect her to love you from her heart as you already know the actual state of affairs. This is what brings peace to you because you don’t expect anything you’re not paying for and you’re getting whatever you’re paying for.
When it comes to this woman, she also doesn’t expect anything from you, apart from your money and she’s getting it. Hence the equation between you two is clear; you both desire certain specific favours from each other; you state those favours consciously; you agree to give those favours and you both stick to the terms of this agreement. Since there is not even a single point related to this deal which is not clear to both of you consciously; there’s no reason negativity may be created in this relationship; if there happens to be a relationship over a period time.
It means that even when you’re visiting her for the 100th time; you know you’ll pay and you’ll get certain favours in return. Technically it means that your desire for visiting her is fulfilled completely and hence you have no reasons to complain. The same happens in her case also as her desire to get money is fulfilled and hence she has no complaints against you. On the contrary; you two may subconsciously develop positivity for each other.
This happens on account of the reason that in her; you find a person who’ll always fulfil a specific desire of yours and in you; she finds a person who’ll always fulfil a specific desire of hers; whenever one such meeting is arranged on mutually agreed terms. It is natural to develop positivity for a person who promises to deliver something you desire and he or she always delivers it. Hence you two don’t have any complaints against each other and on the contrary; you two have unconscious gratitude for each other. This gratitude is what brings you together on unconscious level; and this is the reason you may keep visiting one such woman, on and off for a long period of time.
She’s the person you can be honest with if you desire; and that may not affect even a single thing. It means if you’ve recently developed liking for a female colleague of yours and you’ve even had a date with her; this is the last thing you can discuss with your lover because this may very likely spoil your relationship with her. Hence the only option you have at this time is to lie to her; if you wish to keep this relationship. You simply can’t imagine telling her things like this and expect her to behave in the same way.
Accordingly; you may lie to her and though that may solve the problem at hand; it may create another problem. This lie creates a conflict between your unconscious and conscious part of brain/mind; and hence your peace is disturbed. You consciously hide this information and you even deny it when she asks you if something of this kind is going on. However, your unconscious part of brain/mind knows you’re telling a lie and that is when guilt is formed. This guilt can make you engage in acts of asserting your love in order to console yourself that you really love her.
As soon as you start engaging in acts of showing love instead of engaging in natural acts of love; the relationship starts suffering. A number of such things happen from your side as well as from her side and as a result; negativity of significant quantum builds in the relationship. Looking at an intimate but principal act; you simply can’t approach your lover in the same natural way when you wish to make love to her; if you’re cheating on her.
This is because you know deep down that you’re cheating on her. This forms unconscious guilt and this guilt may never let you make love to her in a natural way; which is the way you practice when the only person you make love to is her. As long as there is only one person; your conscious part of brain/mind and unconscious part of brain/mind are not in conflict and hence everything happens smoothly or so to say automatically. The moment there’s another person; conflict is created between your conscious and unconscious part of brain/mind and no matter how hard you may try now; you simply can’t make this act of making love natural.
In fact, the very fact that you’re doing conscious effort to make it look natural means it is unnatural. This theory has already been explained in an earlier part of this book that conscious effort means assertion and assertion means unnatural. For example, as long as you’re engaged with her only; you’ll make love to her like she completely belongs to you. This is because you completely belong to her and hence it is natural for you to assume that she also completely belongs to you; as already explained in an earlier part.
The moment you stop belonging to her undividedly; you simply can’t assume deep down that she completely belongs to you; no matter how hard you may try. Your unconscious guilt may simply not let you make love to her in a natural way and this guilt may keep haunting you during this act of making love. For example, the image of the other woman may flash on and off within you; which is your unconscious part of brain/mind’s way of telling you that you’re no longer undivided; as your focus is divided between your lover and the other woman.
As this guilt activates; you may simply not be able to make love to your lover; in a natural way. You may touch her body like you don’t deserve it, though this difference may be so subtle that your lover may not notice. However, since you fear she may notice or she may hear your unconscious voices; you may start engaging in acts of balancing out. For example, you may start talking to her more than usual and you may start telling her things which please her.
Taking a look at some of these things; you may start telling her time and again during one such act that she’s beautiful and you love her a lot. Though she may be pleased when she hears these things; you don’t really mean them deep down. When you say she’s beautiful; your conscious part of brain/mind is trying to convince your unconscious part of brain/mind that she’s so beautiful that you’ll not cheat on her in future.
When you say you love her; your conscious part of brain/mind is trying to convince your unconscious part of brain/mind that from now on; you’ll try your best to love her purely. These assertive acts may pacify your unconscious guilt for the time being and this is the reason you engage in them. Hence in the deepest sense; you become incapable of making love to her automatically; the moment you cheat on her.
However, when it comes to the sex worker; the circumstance is a lot different. Even if you engage in acts of physical pleasure with dozens of women; you can still engage in such acts with her; in the same natural way that you used to do. In fact; you can even tell her that you’re dating your colleague and even that won’t make a difference to her; though it may make a lot of difference to you. This is because you simply don’t feel the require to let unconscious guilt form in this case.
For example, this colleague comes to your brain/mind when you’re making love to your lover and a require to hide this feeling rises; which makes you engage in acts of balancing out. However, if the same colleague comes to your brain/mind while you’re engaging in one such act with a sex worker; you may rather choose to let this feeling out and you may tell her that you’re dating a colleague. Since the only commitment you’ve made to her is to give her money; you’re not breaking any commitment by dating your colleague. She also knows it and hence she may not bother at all.
However as soon as you say it; you’re at peace. This is because you’ve nothing to hide now and accordingly; no guilt may be formed. Since no guilt may be formed; the require to engage in assertive acts may not rise and hence; you may keep engaging in the physical act with her; the way you do in general. That is the reason natives who cheat on their wives may find that once they do so; they’re not able to enjoy these physical acts with their wives as much as they enjoy with natives they’re having extramarital affairs with or with paid sex workers.
This happens because you have the require to hide the other woman from your wife but you don’t have this require in case of the other women. For example, you may have the require to hide this fact from your wife that you have a mistress also whereas you don’t require to hide this fact from your mistress that you have a wife also. Similarly; you may have the require to hide from your wife that you avail the services of sex workers but you may not feel the require to hide it from such sex workers that you get physical pleasure through your wife also.
It means when you’re with your mistress or with a sex worker; there’s inner harmony since there is no require to hide anything from them. However when you’re in your wife’s company; there may be a require to hide one or more than one such woman; and this is what disturbs harmony inside you. Hence you get disturbed and as you try to get over this disturbance or you try to hide it; you end up engaging in acts of asserting love.
As you engage more in such acts with other women, the guilt factor rises and the require to look natural also increases. Hence your physical acts with your wife may become more and more unnatural; since you may try to assert your love more and more; because of the fear that you don’t love her purely; any longer. You may not notice it consciously; but when that happens; your liking for physical relationships with your wife starts going down.
This is because these acts are becoming more and more unnatural and you simply can’t enjoy them in the same way; like you did when they used to be natural. Comparing one such act to the physical act which happens between you and another woman; you don’t have the require to hide anything and you don’t have any fears. Hence all your focus is fixed on this act; and this undivided focus helps you enjoy this act in the most natural way.
When this act happens between you and your wife; a part of you is engaged in this act whereas a part of you is fighting with the fears and feelings of guilt. Since your energy or focus is divided; you simply can’t enjoy this act properly now. Hence you may start enjoying these acts with other women; more or much more than you enjoy them with your wife. As a result, you may start engaging in the company of the other woman or other women even more; in order to witness that natural pleasure which is now missing when such acts happen between you and your wife.
This is when you’ve entered a vicious circle. The reason you can’t enjoy these acts with your wife is your involvement with other women and this lack of enjoyment with your wife encourages you to engage even more; in such physical acts with other women, so that you may enjoy such acts in the most natural way. At this stage, the cause and effect have formed a relationship where the cause promotes the effect and the effect promotes the cause. It means you cheat on your wife, you enjoy her company less, you try to find pleasure in company of other women in order to enjoy properly, you succeed and you enjoy the company of your wife even less.
That is the reason some wise natives might have initially introduced the concept of staying physically loyal to your partner as they might have come to know through experiences that once you engaged in physical acts with other women; you simply couldn’t engage in physical acts with your wife; in the same natural way. Kindly note that in this example, nothing may be wrong with your wife and it is your guilt alone, which is spoiling everything for you. It means she may not be doing anything to spoil your pleasure through such physical acts and only you may be responsible for it.
Consider you live in a joint family with about seven or eight members in it. Consider you steal an expensive diamond ring which belongs to your brother and you’re not caught since there are many natives and your brother chooses to move on instead of raising dispute in the family. Though you haven’t been caught and even your brother doesn’t know you’re the one who’s stolen his ring; you know it deep down and this is what changes everything.
Though your brother may try to hug you in the same natural way; this hug may not happen automatically now. This is because the guilt inside you may not let you hug him automatically now. You may be subconsciously afraid of hugging him now; since hugging means gripping the other person and when your brother embraces you; deep down you feel like he’s caught you stealing and this is the reason he won’t let you go now. This fear makes this hug look like an act where your brother is trying to hold you tight as you’re a thief and he’s caught you; so that you may not run away.
Though your brother’s love hasn’t changed at all; you’ve changed and that changes everything for you; since your heaven and hell are dependent on your own brain/mind; and on nothing else. Kindly note that when night falls in your region; it seems to you that the sun has set or gone away for some hours. However in reality; the sun has not gone away and it is the earth which has moved away from sun, by virtue of its revolution around its own axis.
Hence in the deepest sense; the sun is not stopping its light from reaching the earth; it is a part of the earth which is turning its back on the sun. Isn’t it surprising that though the earth chooses to turn its back on the sun and such back appears dark, which means that such area of earth becomes dark; we put the blame for this darkness on the sun? Though the earth has moved away from sun, we say the sun has set.
This is because most of us are able to see things from our own points of view alone and we’re not able to see things from other natives’s points of view or from a neutral point of view which is the best point of view. Though the earth is turning its back on the sun, we say the sun has set as we belong to earth and blaming earth means blaming ourselves; deep down.
The same thing is happening in the two examples mentioned earlier. Your brother is still giving you the same light of love but you’ve turned your back on it. Your wife is throwing the same light of love on you but you’ve turned your back on it. As you feel darkness by turning your back towards this light and as you get afraid of this darkness, you try to run away from this source and you try to find another source of light, which you can face.
Hence you avail the company of other women and since you don’t have the require to turn your back on them until you’ve done something wrong to them; you can face them and hence you can receive what they’re offering; in the most natural and complete way. When it comes to your wife or brother; they’re also offering you love but you’re not capable of receiving it any longer. You see, how you create problems for yourself and how you intensify your problems on your own.
An principal point should be noted in context of this example as otherwise, some natives may interpret it in a wrong way. This example deals with a case when your love for your wife is average in strength and it is not strong. This is because if your love is strong; you may simply not be able to engage in a physical act with any other women; no matter how hard you may try.
If you try to do that; strong unconscious guilt may capture you and you may not be able to go through this act. It means your wife’s face or her overall personality may start haunting you from inside and you may simply not be able to win over the guilt which is rising from inside. In such a case, the unconscious guilt of cheating on her may be so strong that your conscious part of brain/mind may not be able to win over it.
However, if your love is average in strength though you may think it is strong; not much guilt may come to you when you try to engage in physical act with another woman. This is because deep down; you already know you don’t love her that much. It means that the mere fact that you’re willing to cheat on your wife is enough to let you know that you don’t love her that much. As a rule, guiltier you feel while engaging in such acts with other women; more you love your wife and less guilty you feel while doing so; less you love her.
Another point worthy of being noted is that you’ll feel the require to assert your love for your wife after cheating on her; only until you have significant amount of love for her and not otherwise. This is because you assert your love for her only till the time you don’t desire to lose her. Since you don’t desire to lose her; you assert your love for her so that she may not doubt you and your relationship with her may not go bad.
However if you don’t love her much or your love for her lowers over a period of time; you may stop engaging in such acts of asserting your love for her. This is because deep down, you’re wishing to get rid of her and hence you don’t care if she doubts your love for her or not. In fact; you subconsciously desire her to doubt your love for her so that she may be able to understand this fact on her own and she may eventually choose to leave you. This lowers the amount of conscious shame you may have to face, if you’re to tell her that you don’t love her now.
If such is the case, you’ll start engaging in physical acts of love with your wife; less and less, with the passage of time. Even during these acts; you may not feel interested in her and you may not even try to hide this feeling. Therefore, you don’t have the require to engage in acts of asserting your love. This is because deep down, you desire to get rid of her and this is the reason your unconscious part of brain/mind is giving her all the signs of disinterest so that she may understand them and she may make her brain/mind to move away from you.
An interesting thing is that if you tell your wife or lover that she’s beautiful; it may or may not be true; particularly if you say it during a physical act. However, if you tell the same to a sex worker; the chances are high that it’ll be true. This is because you may be telling this to your wife or lover; not because you’re feeling so at the moment in question; but because you have some kind of guilt inside you like you’ve cheated on her and you’re trying to balance it out. Another reason is that you may be trying to please her in order to gain some profit through her. Hence even when you tell her she’s beautiful, you may not be honest about this fact and you may be using these words to hide your guilt or to profit from her.
On the other hand, you have no guilt related to a sex worker; which means you’ve haven’t done anything wrong to her. Apart from that, your terms of contract with her are clear to both of you and hence there’s no place for guilt. Since you neither have the require to hide your guilt nor you have the require to tell her she’s beautiful since you’re already paying her for her services; these words are likely to be true if you use them.
If you find a tree beautiful; only then you may say it’s beautiful and not otherwise. If you find a car beautiful; only then you may say it’s beautiful and not otherwise. The same theory applies to all such things or natives who are not supposed to increase the quantum of benefits they’re offering you; when you say they’re beautiful. It means a tree won’t give you more shade and a car won’t offer you extra pace when you tell them they’re beautiful. Since you don’t have an expectation to get more by using these words in these cases; you’re likely to state your true opinion.
This is because it is your expectation or desire to achieve more which can make you say these words; even when you don’t mean them. Hence when you don’t have such expectations; you speak the truth only. That is the reason when you tell a sex worker that she’s beautiful; you’re likely to be more honest than you are; when you say the same to your lover or wife. Since these words can influence them in a positive way and they may return these words with favours; these words may not be honest. It means that your expectations can even corrupt your opinions.
Since the expectations to witness profit or to avoid loss rise from self-pride; it is your self-pride which makes you do such things. Your self-pride is attached to your wife or lover and hence it corrupts your words. Your self-pride is not attached to the tree, the car and the sex worker. That is the reason you’re able to speak honestly about them.
Himanshu Shangari