Hence if you listen to music or you watch comedy shows on TV, they help your level of intellect relax. On the other hand, if you watch programs which are full of drama and especially the negative kind of drama with rising and falling pitch; you’re not relaxing your level of intellect and you’re instead causing more problems for it.
Similarly, if you choose to watch crime investigation programs or you watch programs offering knowledge of some kind or if you watch news on TV; you’re making things even more difficult for your level of intellect, instead of giving it rest.
This is because all these programs require significant amount of mental energy to be understood and some of them require even more energy when it comes to memorize them. For example, a program which offers any kind of knowledge like a program based on planets and universe needs much more focus from brain and hence you end up using your brain even more, instead of giving it rest. All the facts and information mentioned in this program require understanding as well as memorizing, which puts load on your level of intellect and this is the same kind of load which your level of intellect may have been dealing with, throughout the day.
It’s like you’re just finished with your gym routine for legs, they’re completely fatigued and you go for mountain tracking or you go to a discotheque in order to dance, soon after this routine. As you can understand, your legs may get more fatigued and as a result, they may even sustain injuries. This is because if you keep putting load on a muscle, even when it is duly tired and it needs rest, the chances are fair that it may sustain injury. Hence it is better to give your legs some rest after a tiring legs workout and put them back to heavy work, only when they’ve significantly recovered.
The same happens with your level of intellect also and putting it under load when it needs rest can result in injuries. These injuries are caused on level of intellect and accordingly, there are subtle compared to the injuries sustained by the body. Though they may only seem to result in headaches or migraines on temporary basis, a lot more damage can be done over a longer period of time. When it comes to TV news, it once again needs a lot of focus and memory as well, which means significant use of your level of intellect and hence it can put more pressure on your level of intellect instead of relaxing it.
Drama programs may prove the worst though they may not demand as much mental energy as news and knowledge offering programs may require. The reason they may still trouble your level of intellect more is that most of these programs are filled with negativity and the characters in many of these programs engage in conspiracies, betrayals, violence and other negative acts against the other characters. Through these negative acts, these programs send negative energy to your level of intellect and this energy is the opposite of the energy which can relax your level of intellect.
It means this energy can not only put more pressure on your level of intellect, it may even cause harm to it as this negativity may get trapped in your level of intellect and it may start hitting its walls. As a result, you may feel even more restless, anxious, or troubled. Kindly note that if you’re a native with high self-pride, you may not have these feelings instantly and in fact you may feel like you’re enjoying such programs more than anything. This is because your self-pride also engages in all such things and hence it may like watching similar acts.
However, the problem may become even bigger as all this negative energy may start causing mental distortions inside you with the passage of time. Hence you may suffer from mental health issues which may range from mild to very serious issues like split personality disorder or insanity. But this is not all and the problem with the level of intellect is even bigger. As you lie on bed in the night and as you try to sleep; your body instantly goes to rest mode but the same may not happen with your brain.
Your level of intellect may still remain active and as long as it remains active, you can’t sleep. This is because your level of intellect should come to rest in order for you to sleep or you may not be able to sleep for a long period of time; after lying on your bed in the night. All the thoughts from day’s work; all the negative energy from drama programs, all the information gained through news or from programs offering knowledge may start running on your level of intellect and they may make it difficult for your level of intellect to come to rest. As a result, you may find it difficult to sleep and there may be only two options for you.
The first option is the natural option. In this option, your level of intellect starts dealing with all the energy trapped in it and as a result, all such thoughts and facts may start running through your level of intellect, as if they’re happening again. It means your level of intellect may start reliving all these concepts and thoughts one by one so that it may get rid of them. Yes, this is how your level of intellect works.
If you give it a number of jobs, the only way for it to relax is to finish working on all those jobs and it may keep working till then; as long as its capacity doesn’t die out. Hence it may catch a thought about a character in the drama serial and it may start exploring various probabilities related to this character or this serial; as it does in general. It has already been mentioned in the third part of this book that the job of your level of intellect is to break every fact, information and thought into smaller units and find probabilities. It keeps doing so until it is satisfied that it has reached the smallest possible unit or it realizes that going beyond a point is not possible for it at a time; on account of the capacity it has.
Hence it may start dealing with that serial and it may not leave it until it is done with all the probabilities. It may then start dealing with something related to your profession like tomorrow’s meeting which may be principal for you and this is the reason you put it in your level of intellect; by thinking about it again and again until now. Hence it may catch the concept of tomorrow’s meeting and it may start deriving probabilities related to this meeting as well as its outcomes.
It may seem like a short sequence but in reality, even a meeting and its probable outcomes can consume a couple of hours as your level of intellect may present you with a number of probabilities and it may then start processing all such probabilities. These probabilities may further give birth to a number of other probabilities and this way, your level of intellect may engage in a chain reaction of thoughts, which may not seem to come to an end. This is the reason you may find it difficult to sleep as your level of intellect may be significantly busy; which can hinder your sleep.
This may keep happening until your level of intellect has run out of all the probabilities or it has reached its limit. This is when you may witness sleep but you may have put a lot of extra stress on your level of intellect by then. As it may keep happening and in fact this is what is happening to a number of us in this day and age; your mental health may start going down. Hence you may suffer from mental problems; which may be mild or serious; depending on all other variables which affect this equation in your case.
Looking at the unnatural option; some natives may go for sleeping pills so that they may witness sleep at the earliest. However, these pills may do a different kind of damage to your level of intellect and you may have to pay an even higher price for using them. These pills may forcibly stop your level of intellect from working and hence you may be able to sleep. However, they may also make your brain grow in backward direction which means they may lower your brainy abilities over a period of time. Apart from that, they can also have adverse effect on your memory, speech and on some other principal aspects. Therefore, their use should be avoided until they become absolutely necessary in certain specific cases.
This problem of mental tension may aggravate more in case of natives who have relatively bigger egos and they may end up facing more mental issues than natives with smaller egos. This is because self-pride means ambitions, bigger self-pride means bigger ambitions, bigger ambitions mean more planning and more planning means more load on the level of intellect, as active planning is the job done by the level of intellect or brain. That is the reason natives with big ambitions may find it difficult to sleep because their ambitions may make it difficult for their mental planes to stop; as they may keep asking for more and more planning; even when they’re trying to sleep.
The circumstance may be so worse in some cases that such natives may keep making plans while eating, using toilet, bathing, driving and while engaging in many other such day do day activities. As one such native keeps planning more and more; these conscious acts send a specific request to his unconscious part of brain/mind that he wants to plan more and more. Accordingly, the unconscious part of brain/mind may take over this operation once this request is accepted and it may start providing more and more time for planning.
As a result, this native may start planning whenever he may be doing something which doesn’t require much brain like the recently mentioned activities. Such planning may be initiated by the unconscious part of brain/mind, though it may then be carried out by the conscious part of brain/mind, as active planning with future probabilities is the scope of conscious part of brain/mind. It means if you’re this native and you start having lunch; your unconscious part of brain/mind may automatically send a thought about the pending planning for tomorrow’s project.
As you’ve marked this project principal, your conscious part of brain/mind catches this thought and it starts processing this thought, using more and more brain. In a matter of no time; your conscious part of brain/mind may be engaged in planning and the operation of having lunch may be transferred to the unconscious part of brain/mind. Accordingly, it may be observed that though you’re having lunch; you seem to be lost somewhere else and the food is going into your mouth by some automatic procedure.
This is because your conscious part of brain/mind is engaged in planning which means it is present at the venue where this project is to take place and accordingly; it is absent from the place where your body is having lunch. Your body is having lunch with the help of your unconscious part of brain/mind. As the acts of unconscious part of minds are hidden, so are their imprints. It means all the activities carried out by your unconscious part of brain/mind don’t require your active or conscious focus and hence your conscious part of brain/mind doesn’t have to be there in order to carry out these activities.
As your mental presence is marked only when you’re consciously attending to something, another native may find you physically present but mentally absent in all these activities. Hence if someone watches you having this lunch; he may find you lost somewhere else, which is in fact true because your conscious part of brain/mind is visiting the venue of your project.
This keeps happening throughout the day and you keep planning while engaging in all the activities which don’t require the use of your brain; which means such activities don’t require your conscious focus or presence. It may look fine till here though it is not; but the problem starts after this. As you lie on bed to sleep; you’re once again trying to engage in an activity which doesn’t require the application of your conscious part of brain/mind or brain; which means this time is also a free time and it can be used for planning.
Accordingly; your unconscious part of brain/mind may send you a thought related to some kind of planning which may be pending; your conscious part of brain/mind may catch such thought and it may start processing. One thought may lead to another and a chain reaction may start once again. Before you realize; 30 minutes may have passed by the time you’re finished with all the aspects related to this planning.
As it happens, you may realize that you shouldn’t engage in planning at this time as it is the time to sleep. Hence you may convince yourself and you may try to disengage from thoughts. However, as you try to relax; your unconscious part of brain/mind may again send a fresh thought related to another planning which is pending. Your conscious part of brain/mind may once again engage in the thought process and another 15 or 20 minutes may be gone by the time you’re finished with this series of thoughts.
Your conscious part of brain/mind may start getting irritated by now and it may seriously desire to rest. However, your unconscious part of brain/mind may once again send a thought related to another ambitious plan and your self-pride may force your conscious part of brain/mind to process it; as a lot may change if this plan comes through. This may keep happening until your level of intellect has reached its limit and it is in no position to work any longer, without taking rest. Hence it may collapse and you may witness sleep though a couple of hours may have passed or so to say; they may have been wasted by then.
As you have to wake up early in the morning in order to go to your job on time; the amount of rest you give your level of intellect may not be sufficient for it to recover completely. Accordingly; it may witness injuries when you start putting load on it from early in the next morning, as it may still be tired. Such mental injuries may appear as headaches, migraines, anxiety, restlessness and other such things in the short run and they may appear as much bigger mental problems in the long run.
This is what many of us are doing in routine and that is the reason we’re heading towards more and more health issues related to body, brain and heart as we’re disturbing the harmony between them. Going back to the topic of moral-sense, it is the job of your moral-sense to maintain harmony between these units and it does this job well, if it is present in significant quantum. Hence it may stop your brain form playing video game so that your body may have the food it requires.
Taking another example, consider you like a particular food item and you tend to eat it a lot whenever you get the chance, which may often cause problems later on. In this case, your heart is interfering with your body and the harmony is being disturbed by your heart. This is because all kinds of feelings and feelings are dealt with by heartly level and hence it is your heartly level which likes this food item.
Accordingly, it pushes your body to eat more and more of this item though doing so may cause discomfort for your body; later on. However, your heart may not care for such discomfort and it may keep pushing your body which may act under pressure if your heartly level is bigger than your level of intellect. This is because it is the job of your brain to issue warnings based on calculations, numbers, analyses and data. As your brain has data related to discomfort caused by the excessive use of this food item in the past; it may keep issuing warnings which may be ignored if your heartly level is bigger than your brainy level.
Your heartly level doesn’t deal with numbers, data or with concepts like profit and loss; and it only deals with feelings and feelings. All it wants is to have more and more of this feeling which is related to the taste of this food item and hence it may keep pushing your body to give it more of this feeling, which means to keep eating more of this food item. As a result, you may keep eating more and suffer discomfort later on.
Let’s introduce self-pride and moral-sense one by one to this equation and let’s see what happens. Consider you have high self-pride and accordingly your body, brain and feelings are controlled by your self-pride. If such is the case, you may find it difficult to eat more of this food item even if you’re an emotionally dominated native and you really desire to eat this food item in significant quantity. This is because your self-pride doesn’t draw pleasure from things, natives or circumstances on merit; and it gets its pleasure from things, natives or circumstances; based on how worthy it finds them in the short run as well as in the long run.
Self-pride doesn’t have an independent system at its disposal in order to work; and it depends on your body, brain and feelings to get what it wants. Hence it tries to make sure that all these units work in a way that they are able to work longer and that too in a better way; until it gets fixed on something or someone, in which case it may abuse one or more than one of these units.
Self-pride can also do most of the jobs that moral-sense can do but their intentions behind doing these jobs are different and accordingly, the net results may also be different, when the bigger picture is considered. Looking at the present case, your self-pride may not see any benefit in eating a lot and in fact, it may assign negative value to this act as doing so may disturb your body. If that happens, your self-pride may not be able to draw as much work from your body as it wants and hence it may try to stop your heart from having this desire.
In order to do so, it may use your brain in a way that it may keep giving you more and more reasons to avoid eating this food item in big quantities. The memories and other data stored on your unconscious part of brain/mind may also be used for this purpose and hence you may be reminded of previous incidents when you did so and suffered later on. However, this is not all and your self-pride may directly influence your heart also; as self-pride is the biggest trickster in your entire existence and it has got millions of ways to exploit your body, brain and feelings; as and when it wants.
For example, it may use your brain and it may hit your heart where it matters the most for your heart. It means your self-pride may bring up a reference how your girlfriend who you love a lot and love comes from heart; dislikes this habit of yours and hence you must quit it. Since your girlfriend may matter more for your heart than this food item; your heart may feel pressurized not to request this food item in big quantities. If your girlfriend is also attending this party along with you; the pressure may become even bigger as your self-pride now has the presence of your girlfriend and it can use this presence to its advantage.
Though your girlfriend may be in a good mood today and she may not have any idea of disturbing you when you eat as she may think that she should let you do what you desire to do at times; your self-pride may project so many imaginary fears about how she may get upset if she sees you doing this act again. Pressurized by the circumstance as well as by the facts, your heart may surrender and you may choose not to eat this item beyond a healthy quantity though a part of your heart may keep crying for more; as doing so is its natural job.
Similarly, self-pride may create many other reasons and it may finally succeed in keeping you away from this practice. Doesn’t it sound good that self-pride can also take care of your body, brain and heart? If self-pride can do most of the things that moral-sense can do and it can also help maintain harmony between these three units; how come moral-sense is your best friend and self-pride is your worst enemy?
This is on account of the reason that self-pride does all this at high costs as well as with selfish intentions. It means self-pride doesn’t care about your body or your heart in this case and all it cares for is that your body should not suffer on account of acts which bring no benefit to your self-pride. As soon as the same act offers some kind of benefit to your self-pride; it may switch sides and when that happens, it may encourage your brain to support your heart. Your heart as well as brain supported by your self-pride may force your body to engage in this act.
Taking an example, consider there’s a competition at this party and this competition says that whoever eats the maximum amount of a particular food item in one go, where this food item may be the one you like a lot; will win the competition and will receive a prize. If that happens, the entire equation may change and your self-pride which looked like your best friend till now; may turn your worst enemy. Your self-pride knows that you like this item and you can eat it a lot; which means you can bring this prize for it. Kindly note that most of the competitions are created and enjoyed by self-pride and self-pride alone.
Let’s try to analyse this circumstance and find out what is happening within you. Starting with your heart; it likes this food item and all it cares for is to have it more and more. Hence it may cast its vote in favour of this act; not for the prize but for the feeling of joy it gets while eating this food item. Your self-pride on the other hand has got nothing to do with this food item and all it wants is to win the prize. This is because winning this prize will ensure that among all the natives present at the party; you’re the one who can do this job.
It means you have something special that the others don’t have and hence this special ability may bring you prize as well as appreciation from a number of natives present at the party as most natives appreciate the winners in any kind of competition. Focus, appreciation, recognition, distinction, control and authority of some kind; are the things self-pride loves the most and hence it may at once cast its vote in favour of this act. This is the time it won’t care for your body because it’ll do so only when there’s no benefit for it in an act and it can compromise the wellbeing of any of these units; if it sees benefit for itself.
Looking at your brain, it is neither interested in the feeling of joy as it can’t feel anything to start with; nor is it interested in authority or appreciation because brain in its natural state doesn’t feed on these things and they’re dealt with by self-pride. However, it may care for the value of the prize as numbers, material values and relative comparisons between values to find profit and loss fall under its domain.
Consider the value of the prize is decent in a way which influences your brain. It means your brain may start calculating as to how much discomfort your body may suffer later on if you eat a lot versus the material value of the prize. As your self-pride is influencing your brain, it may reach a conclusion that the value of the prize is worth giving this competition a try. Hence your brain may also vote in favour of this competition. Therefore, all three of these units may agree to this act though their reasons may be different.
This leaves your body which is the poor one in this case and which is going to suffer later on. However, as your brain, feelings and self-pride lie on the second level; they’re in commanding position and hence they can force your body to do things which it may not feel comfortable with, as we’ll find later in this example.
An interesting thing to note here is that if your girlfriend is also attending this party and she also has significant amount of self-pride; the chances of which are high; even her self-pride may exploit her. It means that though in general, she may be against this overeating habit of yours; she may surprisingly support your decision to eat a lot through this competition and in fact, she may even encourage you to do so; before you’ve yourself decided to do so.
All this happens because of her self-pride. In the past, if she disliked this habit of yours and she tried to stop you from engaging in it through any possible means she had; she did so on account of self-pride and not on account of love. This is because pure love will never try to control the lover, unless it is corrupted by self-pride which enjoys controlling each and everyone around you. If she was controlled more by love and less by self-pride, she might have told you that this was a bad habit and she might even have tried to convince you to quit it; and that’s all.
It means she might not have tried to forcibly stop you from engaging in this habit by supplying brainy logics, through heartly pressure or even through mental torture when she found you experiencing physical discomfort after eating a lot. It means she might tell you again and again in a complaining way that she tried to keep you away from eating a lot but you didn’t listen to her and look what discomfort you’re going through.
Kindly pay focus that the primary focus is not on your discomfort and this focus is on what she told you, what you didn’t listen to and how you suffered by not listening to her. It means the primary focus is on her as well as on her advice and your physical discomfort is just being used as a tool by her self-pride. Next time when you tried to eat a lot in her presence, she might have used this reference to control you that last time you didn’t listen to her and you suffered. Therefore, you should listen to her this time. Similar things might have happened related to many other circumstances or habits of yours; and she might have advised you against them; primarily because she didn’t like them and not because they’re bad for you.
However, the circumstance has changed now and accordingly her definition of good and bad has changed. She knows you can eat a lot and she knows you can win this competition, though doing so may once again result in physical discomfort later on. As her self-pride may get focused on the appreciation you may receive if you win this competition and on the pride she may have by virtue of choosing you as her lover; your physical discomfort may be ignored altogether. In fact, she may not think about it even once as all she wants is for you to win this competition.
This is how self-pride can control you, this is how it can corrupt even the most beautiful feelings like love and this is how it can twist the definition of fair in the opposite direction; as and when it sees benefits. Kindly pay focus that the phrase ‘choosing you as her lover’ has been used instead of the phrase ‘being your lover’.
The reason behind this phrase is that a native with high self-pride will almost always think he’s chosen you as his lover and your wish to choose him becomes passive. A native with significant but not high self-pride will think that he’s chosen you and you’ve also chosen him. A native with significant moral-sense will think that you’ve chosen him and he’s grateful to you for doing so. However, a native with high moral-sense will think that love has chosen both of you in order to happen and none of you have chosen the other. Kindly note that your self-pride can only take pride in something your lover has or achieves; if it is convinced that you’ve chosen him and not otherwise.
This is because the major percentage of pride through one such act of your lover doesn’t come on account of his act and it rather comes through your ability to know in advance that your lover is capable of achieving or doing something special. Hence when he achieves something; your self-pride feeds on this feeling that it knew well in advance that the investment made by it in this native would pay off and look it has paid off. Hence it may reach the conclusion that it was smart enough to invest in a native who has something special about him. A perfect trader of love with all the focus on more and more profits; is what your self-pride can turn you into.
Hence your girlfriend may also encourage you to enter this competition as that gives her self-pride a reason to grow because she can take pride in the fact that she chose you as her lover or even in the fact that it was she who knew that you’d win this competition and hence she encouraged you to enter it. Another interesting fact related to this event is that the reason she supports you for entering this competition is the pride that your victory may bring for her self-pride; and the reason why she encourages you to enter this competition even before you make up your brain/mind; is to have yet another kind of satisfaction for her self-pride.
If you win this competition, she may tell natives that she knew in advance that you’d win and that’s why she encouraged you to enter this competition, even before you were able to decide on this by yourself. It means she knows you better than you, she knows what’s good for you in any circumstance and whenever you act on her advice; you end up benefitting. You see, though the physical prize has been won by you in case you win; her self-pride has won her even bigger prizes as she’s the one responsible for your victory and you may not have made it without her.
The game is not over and a lot may still happen as you engage in this competition. During the competition, a stage may be reached when you may start realizing that you’re closer to reaching your physical limit of eating and this feeling may start reflecting through your body language, whether you know it or not. At this stage, two egos may work against your body; one of which is yours and the second one belongs to your lover.
When it comes to your self-pride; it hates losing or apologizing and hence it may keep pushing your body to eat more, even if it feels discomfort. Looking at your lover, she may also realize through your body language that you’re closer to reaching your limit. This is because she’s spent a lot of time with you and natives who spend a lot of time with you may almost always be able to predict the true meaning of a unconscious physical expression given by you in any circumstance; through their experiences of the similar kind in the past.
That is the reason your family members or your lover may interpret your subtle or unconscious expressions; when other natives may not even notice them in the first place. For example, whenever you reach your physical eating limit, you start changing your seating postures in order to make more space available, you start tapping the table with your hands in order to encourage yourself or you start smiling in order to convey to other natives that everything is fine when it is not. Though a stranger may not know the reason you’re tapping the table in one such circumstance; natives close to you know it through experiences as you’ve done it many times and the result has always been your inability to eat more.
Hence your lover may also realize from your body language that you’re reaching your eating limit and this is when her self-pride may also start pushing you to eat more as her self-pride also doesn’t desire you to lose. This is because if you lose this competition, you’re not the only loser and she may also become a loser, as her self-pride may then feel bad and it may even start suggesting her that the decision to choose you as lover was probably not the best decision she made.
However, it is just a suggestion of small quantum and it alone is not capable of producing significant results as the decision to continue or discontinue a relationship depends on the resultant of a large number of positive as well as negative opinions or ratings in favour of the lover as well as against him. As the net resultant starts shifting towards negativity, which means your self-pride feels like losing more than gaining, it may encourage you to get out of the relationship and find a profitable one. If the gains at any time are greater than the losses, such losses may not break your relationship though they may certainly cause arguments and resentments.
Hence your lover may also push you to eat more and the problem with her self-pride may become even bigger if she encouraged you to participate in this competition before you made up your brain/mind. If that is the case, her self-pride is much more attached to the result of this competition because it is she who pushed you into this competition and accordingly, it is she who’ll win or lose; in her own brain/mind. Therefore, she may start encouraging you to eat more on account of which, you have two egos working against your body; and both these egos are very principal for you.
In fact, when your girlfriend starts encouraging you after realizing that your physical capacity is reaching, her body language may also reflect the unconscious expressions which say that she and you as a team are about to lose and she doesn’t desire it to happen. No one else may read those expressions but you do read them through your experiences because you witness the same expressions when you see her in circumstances when she’s likely to lose and she hates losing.
Therefore, you may understand her expressions and this is what may put even more pressure on you because if you stop eating more, you’ll not only lose this competition; you’ll also upset your lover. It means the amount of confidence she has in you may decrease, which may cause problems for your relationship in future. You see, how much is at stake when you’re engaging in a simple competition like this one?
Have you ever noticed that whatever job you may be doing, like a physical activity; you may tend to do it with more energy as your lover approaches or as someone you desire to impress approaches? You do so because on unconscious level; your self-pride knows that her self-pride will assign more points to more energy and hence your equation with this native may become more favourable for you; whatever it may be at that stage. It means if it is your lover, she may start attaching more value to you and if it is a girl you desire to impress, she may also attach value to you and she may start taking interest in you because you have something special which can serve as a tool to satisfy her self-pride; from time to time.
Pressurized by these two egos, you may keep eating beyond your physical limits and though you may feel strong physical discomfort after eating more; consider you finally win this competition. As soon as that happens, your self-pride as well as her self-pride may divert the focus from physical discomfort and they may start enjoying the fruits of this victory. Your self-pride may satisfy itself through the prize as well as through the focus and her self-pride may satisfy itself through the choice it made when getting attached to you as well as to this competition.
Your body may be suffering but the two egos under consideration are joyful like anything. You’re busy receiving appreciations and she’s busy telling other natives that she’s the one who knew you’d win before you knew. Even if your condition worsens and you have to take medicines as well as rest for a couple of days after this competition, these egos are strong enough to console you that this much discomfort is not a high price to pay for the victory. Even your girlfriend may tell you that you did a great job and she may take good care of you, while you’re not well.
She’s the same native who advised you against eating a lot and whenever you suffered by eating a lot despite her advice; she added insult to injury by saying many negative things to you. Why is it so that your sufferings are the same or even worse but her behaviour has reversed? The reason is that during all those times, you acted against her advice and this is the reason she took pleasure in taunting you when you suffered, so that you might know the value of her advice.
In the present case, you’ve acted on her advice and this is the reason she’s comforting you. Kindly note that if she sees you in discomfort the next day; her self-pride has left her with no other choice but to say it is fine. This is because if she says this is bad and you shouldn’t have entered that competition; her advice also becomes wrong. If that happens, the amount of value you attach to her advice in future may lower as she has a tendency to go wrong. As you devalue her advice or opinion, the amount of control she may have over you also lowers.
This is on account of the reason that most natives in this day and age try to control the ones they love or they think they love; through hidden methods like brainy and/or heartly tricks and they don’t use direct methods. For example, most natives won’t tell their lovers that they desire to control them and the only way their lovers can keep having relationships with them is to do what they say. This doesn’t happen often as natives are smart enough to realize that no one may agree to have a relationship on this condition.
Accordingly, indirect methods are used where you convey to the other native that whatever you’re advising him to do or not do is because he’ll benefit from it and there is no other intention. Since you love him, his benefit is primary for you and this is the reason you’re taking all this pain to make sure that he benefits. If he listens to you and acts upon your advice; your purpose is served as you’ve controlled him in the name of love.
On the other hand, if he doesn’t listen to you, an argument may start and your statements may still convey that you desire the best for him, this is the reason you advise him and whenever he goes against one such advice and faces problems; it hurts you a lot. Hence you may try to convey that you desire his wellbeing more than he wants and this is the reason he should listen to you, more than he listens to himself. You’ve learnt a better way to control your lover, in the name of working or advising for his welfare. Many of us do this and then we call it love 🙂
In reality, all you’re trying to do is to control your lover so that he may do what you desire him to do and he may stay away from doing what you don’t desire him to do. Going back to the example, though you may suffer from even more physical discomfort in this case than you usually do as you ate a lot more this time; your own self-pride as well as your lover or so to say, her self-pride is justifying this act.
The result is the same which means physical discomfort and accordingly, she should treat you the same like she does when something like this happens, but she’s doing the opposite? As you can understand; you went against her advice on all those occasions whereas you acted upon her advice on this occasion and this is what makes all the difference. It means what you do is not as principal for her as the fact whether you do it by going against her advice or by acting on her advice.
Since her advice which is the control factor generated by her self-pride; is in favour of eating a lot this time; you receive praise for the same act that usually brings you trouble from her side. It means that what she wants is more principal than whether it is beneficial for you or not in reality. It further means that the control factor remains dominant over this relationship and this is the reason it is trade and it is not love. You see, how surprisingly can things behave at the bottom; when they appear so good on the surface?
Kindly note that most of this is happening in the domain of unconscious part of brain/mind. Hence neither you nor your lover may have conscious knowledge that this entire act has been performed to satisfy your egos; at the cost of making your body suffer. It means she may not even know that she’s tried to control you through this act and even you may not feel it because everything is happening in the realm of the hidden; the unconscious part of brain/mind.
Coming to the second option, let’s consider that you have high moral-sense instead of having high self-pride; and see what happens here. Since your moral-sense is controlling your body, brain and feelings now; the first thing which is bound to happen is harmony. As a result, it may stop your heart from pushing your body to eat more and more of this food item as doing so may cause discomfort to your body and hence the harmony may be disturbed. Your brain may also be used by your moral-sense and the end result may once again be the same, which means you choose not to eat this food item beyond the point where it may cause physical discomfort later on.
Hence both your self-pride as well as your moral-sense may deliver the same result in this circumstance but the costs paid for their services are different and this is where everything changes. Your moral-sense may not convince you to abstain from eating beyond a point because it wants to accomplish some plans through your body, like your self-pride does. Your moral-sense does so because maintaining harmony in your body is its job and there’s nothing else to it. Hence your self-pride offers its services at high cost whereas your moral-sense offers its services for free.
Looking at the way your self-pride and moral-sense do this job; your self-pride may pressurize you, blackmail you or even force your heart to stay out of this act as these are the weapons your self-pride is equipped with. Your self-pride is exceptionally good at putting you as well as the others under fear or greed in order to get what it wants. Hence it may succeed in accomplishing this job but its ways are negative and the costs are high.
Moral-sense on the other hand works on the method of harmony through awareness as well as through mutual agreement. Hence it may guide your body, brain and heart in a much better way than your self-pride does; because moral-sense ensures that there’s something for each one of these units, which may satisfy them. On the other hand, self-pride doesn’t care about any of these units and all it cares for is what it wants and in order to get it, your self-pride may keep abusing one or all three of these units; throughout your life.
For example, in the present example; your self-pride finds no benefit in eating this food item a lot and it even doesn’t see any benefit in eating this food item at all. This is because having a particular food item or another, merely on the basis of liking, is the choice of your heart and all other units like your body, brain, self-pride and even your moral-sense don’t care for such preferences. It means that for all these units; any kind of food is food and its purpose is to provide energy to your body in a healthy way. As long as that keeps happening, none of them is concerned about one food item or another; and this is what your heart only cares for.
Kindly note that though your brain, self-pride and even your moral-sense may advice in favour of some food items or they may even advice against some food items from time to time; these recommendations are based on facts and benefits; instead of being based on tastes of such food items. For example, your brain may tell you that you must have two cups of milk every day in order to meet your daily protein requirements, if you’re a vegetarian. Your heart may not like the taste of milk much; but you may still keep having it, if you’re an brain dominated native.
Let’s look at a meaningful sign that you may use while deciding your liking for a food item. When you look at a food item and you feel like having it; here is how to check whether this liking is coming from brain, self-pride or heart. If the first thought that crosses your brain/mind when you look at this food item or when you think about it is that it is good for your health or it delivers any other kind of benefit, this liking is coming from your brain and not from your heart.
This is on account of the reason that all kinds of profits and losses fall under the domain of brain and the heart doesn’t know this language to start with. Your heart operates on the basis of feelings and feelings; and it doesn’t care about profits or losses related to material things. All it cares for are profits or losses related to the feelings it wants to have. Hence it feels like having profit if it achieves a feeling it wants and it feels like suffering loss if it fails to have that feeling. Whatever cost is paid in order to have that feeling is something it doesn’t understand at all.
Moving on, If you look at a food item and the first thing you notice happening inside you is that you should have this food item because it is one of those food items; that a number of rich, famous or special kind of natives eat; this voice is coming from your self-pride. This is because your self-pride finds pleasure in copying the behaviour of special kind of natives so that it may also feel special like them. Your heart may not like this food item at all and your brain may not see any benefit in it; but your self-pride may still enjoy it a lot as this is the food of special kind of natives.
However, if you look at a food item and the first thing you notice happening inside you is a strong feeling of liking for this food item, supported by a lot of water in your mouth; this feeling is certainly coming from your heart. Even if this food item is not healthy according to your brain and even if it is the food of a common man or even that of a poor man according to your self-pride; your heart doesn’t care about anything and all it wants is to have this food item. Your heart only cares for what it wants, it believes in living in the moment and it doesn’t care about profits or losses which may come later on, through any act it engages in.
That is the reason heartly kind of natives can be the biggest gamblers in all spheres of life as they don’t care much about profits or losses. If they desire to take risks; the feeling of taking risk is what they love the most which means that the thrill which comes through risk is all their hearts desire and they don’t care for what costs they may have to pay for this feeling. An interesting thing to note is that some natives keep losing one gamble after another in their lives but they don’t stop and in fact, they don’t even seem bothered.
An brainy native may advise one such native that he should not gamble or take such high risks any longer as they bring him losses more often than they bring profits. The brainy native may also suggest that the gambler should start building a safe approach which means taking the lowest possible risk, in order to avoid setbacks and instability in life. The gambler may not listen to him at all and he may keep doing the same thing.
Though the brainy native may think the gambler is a fool, the gambler may also think the same about him. This is because the gambler is an emotionally dominated native, he has developed liking for the thrill that high amount of risk brings with it; and all he cares for is to have this feeling again and again, though even he may not know it consciously. In fact, majority of natives taking big risks in different spheres of life are dominated by heart, self-pride or moral-sense and they’re not dominated by brain.
This happens on account of the reason that brain is all about calculations and analyses on account of which it may almost always advice against such risks because the risk to reward ratio is very high. Hence an brainy native may consider such risks as blind risks and accordingly, he may avoid them. Self-pride may take high risks only in conditions where it strongly gets attached to the rewards and not otherwise. Moral-sense may take high risks only in conditions where universal wellbeing or collective wellbeing is at stake and not otherwise.
For example, a native with high self-pride can risk his life in order to win a medal or recognition whereas a native with high moral-sense can risk his life without such desires; at times he feels a genuine require to do so. It means a soldier controlled by self-pride may risk his life in a war primarily in order to win a medal whereas a soldier ruled by moral-sense may risk his life in a war because engaging in this war is the demand of the circumstance and for no other reasons. The latter kind of soldier doesn’t bother about the medal or even about the result of this war and all he cares for is his karma; which is to fight till the end in this circumstance.
Hence the soldier with high self-pride is focused more on rewards and less on the act of war whereas the soldier with high moral-sense is completely focused on the act of war, which means he’s focused on his duty. Accordingly; the primary desire of the soldier with high self-pride is to gain recognition or honour through the war, which can make him do selfish things or manipulate facts in a way that they look bigger than they are; so that he may receive honours.
When it comes to your heart, it makes calculations in a different way and the variables used in these calculations are not the numbers and they are feelings and feelings. Therefore, if your heart encourages you to take one such risk, it is not interested in net profit or loss you may achieve through such risk and all it cares for is the feeling of thrill that comes with this risk.
According to your heart, if this feeling is witnessed, profit is earned whereas the failure to experience this feeling means loss in the language of heart. That is the reason there’s always been a conflict between the natives dominated by brain and those dominated by heart.
Himanshu Shangari